A/N: Mwahahaha. :3

~:~ Chapter Four – Facebook (MM-verse) ~:~

Link was fishing in a volcano with his non-existent fishing rod when he smelled a cow give birth to a chicken.

"OMG, Tatl, we should like, totally go check out the awesome new chicken!" Link exclaimed depressingly. Then he felt like he loved life so he committed suicide by eating his tunic. However, he had a fairy in a bottle, so he was revived right away.

"Link, you shouldn't do that. It'll give you cancer," Tatl warned wisely, floating around his head. "Let's go see that new chicken!"

"Wait, like, what's a chicken?" asked Link, nibbling on a piece of chicken.

"I dunno," Tatl answered. "I think that they're like Cuccos, except that they don't grow up by following a little boy dressed in green playing a song on a sacred instrument."

"OMG, that's, like, horrible!" Link wailed. "That's, like, against Farore's law in every way, OMG!"

"…Link?" Tatl asked.

"Like, yeah?" Link responded, licking a shark. "OMG!"

"Have you ever heard of Facebook?"

"Like, what's that?"

"Let me show you."

Tatl used her awesome time-bending powers to jump ahead to [insert number here] years in the future. She strapped Link to a computer chair and force-fed him a wet calendar before opening up Facebook for him.

"Link, this is a place where you can "Like" everything you want!" Tatl exclaimed happily. "I just assumed that since you love to say "like" so much, this was a good id—"

"Shut up, Tatl; me and my hundreds of friends don't like you," snapped Link as he just finished Friending his 999th friend.

"B-but… Link…" Tatl choked, tears falling from her eyes. "Y-you… don't like me anymore…?"

"OMGUUSIEAO!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo! I don't understand your complicated Internet language!"

"U ned 2 git out of her b4 I slixe u wit mah sord an keel u wit a banananananana!1!1!11"

"It's like I don't even know you anymore!"

Tatl left the room and headed for the bookstore. She was eager to learn this new language that Link had mastered so quickly so that she could effectively communicate with him once again. After seconds and seconds of tiring searching, she finally found the book she was looking for: How to Cook Water by Princess Zelda.

Tatl read until the very last page of the book.

"This book is so boring!" she exclaimed, placing it in a microwave. "But on the dark side, I found out what a chicken is! I need to go tell Link!"

Tatl rushed to Link. Unfortunately, she found out that he was dead because he had been Poked too many times by his limitless amount of friends.

"WHY IS THE WORLD SO GREAT?" wailed Tatl in a happy, sorrowful voice.

~x~X~x~

A/N: I personally don't use Facebook (except to chat with one single person), so I apologize if there are some mistakes. XD

-Eternal Nocturne-

Chapter Four – Completed May 22, 2011