A/N: In the midst of the E3 hype, I bring you this. It's the longest chapter yet! This is the one I never thought I'd write… Being a huge ZeLink fan and all. XD

LinkLuver3… Sorry, but this one got WAY off track from what I originally planned this chapter to be about… Next chapter will have that theme, I promise! :)

EDIT: "Midst of the E3 hype" = back when this was written, not when it was posted. XD

~:~ Chapter Six – Angry Cuccos (TP-verse) ~:~

"Okay, wait! Okay, I have another one— Wait! Princess! Don't—don't walk away! Princess!"

The princess stopped in her tracks, groaned, and then turned around to face the "almighty" Hero of her kingdom. Who let him in the Castle anyway? She put on her best smile and laced her fingers together.

"Yes, Link? What is it now?"

"I have another joke!" he said with an overly-happy grin.

Zelda's eye twitched and her smile almost fainted into a frown. But as the Crown Princess of Hyrule, she had been trained to hide her emotions expertly, so Link didn't notice.

"That's great, Link—"

"YAY!" He got uncomfortably close to Zelda. "Okay, I used to hear this one in Ordon all the time: What's the definition of a good farmer?"

"Ohh, let me think…" said Zelda, pretending to be in deep thought. She glanced at Link, who was acting like an impatient little kid by jumping up and down and sporting the most idiotic grin in the history of idiotic grins. "…One who grows the best vegetables?"

"NO!" Link responded, twirling around in circles. "A man outstanding in his field! Ha! Get it? A man out-standing in his field? 'Cause, you know, farmers stand out in their fields!"

He giggled obnoxiously. Zelda felt like jumping off of the edge of Snowpeak.

"OH! Here's another one! Why did the Stalfos go to the party alone?"

"…Because he had nobody to go with him?"

"WRONG!" Link replied. Then he paused for effect. "…Because he had no body to go with him! Hahahaha!"

Zelda pondered about what would happen if she hired some assassins to go after him. Her patience was thinning.

"Link, I'm very busy right now—"

"Wait! Here's another one! What washes up on tiny beaches?"

Zelda groaned.

"Your dead body?"

"Haha! That's the best answer your came up with so far, Princess!" replied Link ecstatically. Zelda began to walk away, but he chased after her and started dancing to an ancient Goron ritual song that he started to hum very unskillfully. "But actually, the answer is microwaves!"

"Link, ugh… Where did you hear that one? What's a microwave?"

"I dunno," he said, shrugging. He continued to walk down the halls of Hyrule Castle with her. "Ooh, you wanna hear a story now?"

Zelda was silent for a few moments.

"Suuure…"

She knew that she would regret this.

"Great! Okay, well, I was walking through Castle Town the other day, right?"

"The day when you got that Cucco really mad at you and you almost died because of it?"

"I wasn't about to die! I was demonstrating to the people how dangerous Cuccos could be! Nobody else except me—being really brave and handsome and all—could have done it!"

"…I see. Was that why you were screaming 'HELP!' like a madman the entire time?"

"Again, I was demonstrating to the people what they should do when they're attacked by Cuccos."

Zelda smirked as an evil plan made its way into her mind.

"Could you, perhaps, demonstrate it again to me? I didn't quite see all of it the first time."

Link turned to her and grinned.

"Of course, Princess! I'll be glad to!" He took her hand and dashed down the halls. "In fact, let's go right now! I'll finish my awesome story later!"

MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Zelda thought in her mind. This was the perfect plan to get rid of him once and for all… Link was so gullible.

~x~X~x~

"Hey, Princess!" Link called from the other side of the fence. They were at a small Cucco farm situated beside Castle Town. He held up a large brown Cucco above his head for her to see. "Should I get this one angry first, or…" He set the brown Cucco down and grabbed a white one. "…this one?"

"Both!" Zelda called back. "You can show your, uh, skill better that way!"

"Good idea, Princess!"

Link placed the white Cucco beside the brown one and stood above them with an intimidating glare. He drew his sword.

"Watch how awesome I'm going to be, okay?"

"Alright…"

Link raised his sword. Zelda leaned in closer from her seat on the side of the fence.

This is it, this is it…! Once he hits that Cucco, it's all over—

"Wait!" Link suddenly said, sheathing his sword and crushing Zelda's enthusiasm.

"For Nayru's sake, Link, what?" the Princess snapped, clawing at her seat.

"I think I should finish my story first before I show you how to deal with Cuccos!"

"Ugggghhhh!"

Link looked crestfallen.

"What, Princess, you don't like my stories?"

"I… Mrhmm… Of course I do, Link. I love your stories. It's just that…" Zelda pondered for a few moments. "…Umm, I really want to see how 'awesome' you are at dealing with Cuccos. Because, well, being the great and powerful Hero you are…"

"I am great, aren't I?" Link boasted.

"Of course… you are…"

"Which is why I should finish my also-great-but-not-as-great-as-me story!" Link said, rushing over to Zelda and sitting uncomfortably close beside her. "Okay, so where did I leave off? Oh, right! I was walking through Castle Town, and then guess what happened!"

"What?" Zelda groaned, looking off into the distant horizon. She prayed to the Goddesses that this torture would end soon.

"This dog came and started humping my leg very passionately!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF NAYRU, LINK—!"

Zelda slapped him cleanly across the face. Before he could recover, she grabbed him by the scruff of his tunic and glared straight at him.

"By the order of the all-knowing Crown Princess of Hyrule, Heir to the Throne of the Land of the Heavenly Goddesses and Bearer of the sacred Triforce of Wisdom, you will get back over there and get that Goddess-forsaken Cucco angry!"

"Well, EXCUUUUUUSE me, Princess!" whined Link, shaking himself free of her grasp. "Fine. I didn't know that you were that impatient to see my epic-ness!"

Those Cuccos are going to tear him apart… Haha… Zelda thought as the Hero strolled his way closer to the two Cuccos he'd left there earlier. After that, I'll be done with his annoying jokes and stories once and for all—

"Princess! I just remembered that I'm allergic to living!"

Then he dropped dead.

That works too.

~x~X~x~

A/N: Mmm, carrots. Please review to tell me what you thought of it! :D

-Eternal Nocturne-

Chapter Six – Completed June 9, 2011