x

Questionable Choices

I don't own working internet right now, even though I'm paying for it. Well… I won't own a contract with AT&T after next week either, lol, fix that crap.

8

It was around two in the morning, seven days had passed since Hercules' initial attack on the Centaurs and the kidnapping of Solan. Seven days into the war that had already become very bloody. Both sides had fought constantly and were now each quite worn down, but this battle wasn't over yet.

Hercules was moving his army to destroy the Corinthian Centaurs thereby removing an obstacle from his path of conquest, while Xena was already preparing her mission to save them from the enemy.

Callisto's army didn't have the troops; the last battle had been very costly. Much of the Spartan Force and many other units had been decimated. There was hope that the reinforcement soldiers would soon join up with them and together they would defeat the army of Hercules. However at this moment, victory looked very far away.

Callisto sat upon her horse staring off into the distance. Her army was for the most part asleep, she herself wasn't however, and the small group that was to go with Xena to rescue the Centaurs was awake as well, as the time of their mission drew near.

Callisto jumped when she heard a voice.

"Callisto… what are you staring at?"

Callisto turned around eyeing the dark haired man, it was Borias. Callisto replied, "Just thinking…"

"About?"

Callisto sighed, "This war, this battle, the fact that I'm in charge of it all. The men, who have entrusted their lives to me, twice now… Some of these men are related to people that I've killed, and yet they trust me… I don't understand it."

Borias smiled, "They see something in you, not the destructive warrior queen, and not even just the change in you, and they see inside you a place of strength, a source of confidence. They face the strongest man ever to grace the land of Greece in battle, and because of that, knowing that the Warrior Princess and Callisto are fighting together to stop Hercules, they feel like they might have a chance."

Callisto scanned to make sure no sentries were around, her next words she spoke she didn't want her army to here. Satisfied it was just her and Borias she asked, "Do we?"

Borias shot a double take, "Do we… what? Have a chance? You're the one in charge, you have to decide that."

Callisto breathed heavy with the stress of it all, she reached down and tried to ask herself whether or not they could win. She knew her army was hurt and bleeding, she knew Hercules' army was far larger and she knew that they had the advantage right now. But then she said, "Hercules is going for the Centaurs, not for us… he's leaving an army with a hope for reinforcements to his back while his army whose reinforcements are both limited and far away charge against an enemy who's fierceness is renowned throughout the land and doing so on their home territory. He's making an error."

Borias pulled his horse in closer to Callisto, grabbed her shoulder. Callisto gave him a scornful look; she didn't like to be touched. Borias quietly withdrew it and focused his thoughts instead on the subject at hand, "We do have a chance, but…"

"It's going to be bloody and a lot of men are doing to die, and I'm going to be responsible for them," She quietly added in a quiet tone so that Borias couldn't here, "Again…"

Borias fell back slowly, he thought of times when he'd had command of an army. Battles in Thrace, battles in Anatolia, battles in Chin, and the men of his army that he'd buried in his time. He could only offer up one thought, "It's never easy… and it shouldn't be. This is the mark of a good heart to have these concerns."

Callisto shot back raising her voice, but not hiding her own self-pity, "I'd think it would be a mark of a bad heart to have these concerns and see to their deaths anyway. If I cared so much, why don't I save them?"

Borias took a very soft tone, "You are saving them… from Hercules."

Callisto rolled her eyes, "Now I can sleep at night."

"Listen, you're the commander, you have to decide, you have to act, and you have to deal with it. If you can't then get out of the way, if you must bury your feeling then do it, but you must be clear headed when going into battle, these people are depending on you, Callisto. You have to do your best, for them, it's not your hurt that matters in the end, only their lives, and the victory over our enemies. You have to be colder than the coldest murderer; you have to make the choices that most men would balk at. This is being a commander, question yourself yes, but only do so after victory is achieved, not before. Too many people are depending on you to let that cloud your mind"

Callisto slunk low at such words. Borias was right, her brown eyes looked past him at the camp fires as they twinkled in the night. She sighed, breathing in a couple breaths. She finally said, "You're… you're right Borias. I'm sorry… it's just…"

"You're human… it's to be expected." With that, Borias turned his horse around and started back off to camp leaving Callisto alone to ponder her thoughts and to plan her upcoming actions. She had a war to end; she'll deal with the rest later.

8

Even as the Warrior Queen was in the middle of contemplating her role in responsibility in the current conflict, the Warrior Princess was already busy with other tasks. Right now she was trying to make a beeline to Gabrielle whom she hadn't spoken with very much lately. War had a bad tendency to make people too busy for those they really cared about.

Xena was taken aback by the odd look on Gabrielle's face, even as the warrior dismounted from Argo, the bard didn't respond, staring into the wet grass instead. Xena approached, "Hey…"

However Gabrielle didn't acknowledge Xena at all, choosing instead to drop a clod of dirt on the ground. Xena asked, "Gabrielle… are you ok?"

Gabrielle let out an irritated sigh, "I'm fine Xena."

"You don't look fine."

Gabrielle rolled her eyes, "Sometimes I wish you'd just leave me alone!"

Gabrielle didn't mean those words, not at all, if anything, she'd prefer to have the dark haired warrior be closer to her, but her feelings were all a jumble. Her recent visit with Aphrodite was just one more thread in a ball of yarn that had become her disaster of a life since the death of husband.

Xena examined the bard with her eyes; she could see Gabrielle was struggling with something deep down inside. Xena sat down beside her picking up a clod of dirt of her own. Softly she spoke, "Listen… Gabrielle, I'm here for you, I'm willing to listen to whatever is on your mind."

"Oh really? All you've done for the last seven days is worry about this war. It must be great Xena, here you are again at the center of it all, the conflict, the fighting, the bleeding, the dying. Xena you're back with your first love and I've been left out in the cold with my own darkness, all by myself while you are gallivanting around being the great hero of Greece, you and my husband's murderer. The both of you. No Xena, I am fine, I don't feel like talking to you right now."

Gabrielle got up and was about to storm away but Xena grabbed her arm. Gabrielle pulled it free avoiding any eye contact with Xena, and then stormed out into the woods.

Once Gabrielle was sure she was alone, she sunk to her knees as her soft green eyes exploded with her tears. Her life was such a mess, she'd lost so much of what she had loved, and not just the people, but things about herself. She'd been corrupted in the land of Chaos. She wasn't the good little Gabrielle that Xena had found in Potidaea, instead she'd become something else.

Gabrielle had lost her light, and her path… and she was ashamed.