The House Partaaayy

They were at Remus' house that summer. It was a comfortable, medium-ish cottage in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere. But this suited the Lupin family just fine. No nosy neighbours like Mrs. Hoffs this time to complain to them what the howling sounds coming from the house were. "Like they're raising a pack of wolves, that family," she'd say to her friends over their weekly tea session.

Lyall and Hope Lupin were a bit hesitant at first to leave the four boys at home. They were teenage boys after all, and they just knew what young adolescents could get up to once they set their minds to it.

"But the nearest person is three miles away!" Remus had said, keeping a leveled head. This talk had been going on for two hours already. "They couldn't hear us even if we magnified our voices with the most powerful Sonourous."

This didn't seem to persuade the Lupins, but after a charming smile from Sirius, a quick goodbye from Peter and their car keys from James, they were out the door faster than Mrs. Hoffs after a game of Bingo.

Remus peeked through the curtains, watching his parents' car back out of the driveway and sighed. "I love them and all, but they have to learn how to trust me," he mumbled. "I mean, it's not as if I'm going to throw a party or something."

"Oi, Moony, do you know where the crisps are?" said James, poking his head from the kitchen door. "If we're going to be hosting a party in twenty minutes, we gotta look prepared."

Remus smiled, told him to look in the cupboard, reassured him that they were going to look prepared and turned around to glance out the window again, James' voice floating through his head the whole time until something clicked.

"WHAT?"

"Merlin's beard, Moony, take it easy. You're going get a heart attack like that." Peter exclaimed, pushing the couch to the wall. The furniture was all moved back, and the living room looked bigger. Remus guessed this was going to be the makeshift dance floor.

Not in this lifetime.

"STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING!" he yelled, making everyone freeze from what they were doing. "LET ME MAKE MYSELF CLEAR: THERE WILL BE NO PARTY HELD TONIGHT, TOMORROW OR EVER!"

An hour later, loud music rumbled from the Lupin cottage. The interior of the home was strewn with streamers and toilet paper and plastic cups. People on the dance floor had made a circle around Peter who was doing a twitchy sort of dance by himself. "PETER! PETER! PETER!" the guests chanted, louder every time he did a particular crazy move.

James was gazing starry-eyed at a redhead, looking suspiciously like Lily Evans – from the back. Once James finally got the courage to approach her, Lily Evans turned out to be a man in a wig.

Sirius was in charge of the music. The Lupins owned a small stereo, filled with the classics, but the classics were now stuffed inside the fridge. Sirius had changed the settings to the Wizarding Radio, and played Celestina Warbeck's number one hit: You Can't Charm Me. The Muggle girls had not idea what the lyrics meant, but that didn't stop them from standing by the music table, gushing to an uninterested looking Sirius.

Finally, Remus managed to pull the three boys aside, dragging them towards the kitchen. Shutting the door, he fixed them with a murderous look - and the tip of his crackling wand. "What the hell do you guys think you're playing at?" he fumed, "I told you we couldn't have this party. I've been trying to get these people to leave for half an hour! Where did they all come from? I don't know if you know this, but I live in the freaking woods!"

Except he didn't say 'freaking'.

"I know a guy," Was all Peter said.

Meanwhile, James was still a bit shaken up. "Maybe w-we shouldn't have had this party, l-lads,"

"Well, how do you suppose we get to them to leave?"

"SCRAM! GET OUT! THE POLICE HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED! THEY'RE ARRESTING ANYBODY THEY CATCH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

In a matter of seconds, the whole house was emptied. Remus took out his wand and fixed up the living room as the other boys claimed other parts of the house to clean. Just as they settled down on the couch to watch a film, the front door was wrenched open.

Mrs. Lupin inspected the corners of the room, glancing under the couch, and then sprinted up the stairs. Mr. Lupin came inside a few moments later, explaining, "She had a feeling you guys were up to trouble..."

The accused woman came back downstairs, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry," she sniffed, hugging the Marauders tightly. "I should have trusted you boys better. I actually thought you would disobey me and throw a party. Ridiculous, isn't it?"

Right when they were about to respond, the kitchen door opened and the man in the Lily Evans wig appeared. "Dude! I upchucked all over the floor - that whiskey was toxic! Anybody got a mop?" he suddenly noticed the empty room. "What happened to the partaaay?"

A/N: Which HP character do you think would be the wildest/craziest at a party? The Party-Pooper?

Thanks to adela's lament, The Favorite of the Gods, Hpdwlotr24, skHermione, Remus' daughter, GrassBlade-Chan, Chuggamuffin (love the name!), shadowkat678, and xxSiriusxxforeverxx for reviewing! You guys are awesome X 2369823897499!