Pink Snakes

The corridors were at calm serenity that day. The birds were chirping cheerfully in the school courtyard. Bees were buzzing importantly in and out of their hives and not a single cloud was in the brilliant blue sky. All was well.

"PINK! IT'S ALL BLOODY PINK!"

…for a little while anyway.

Lucius Malfoy, fifth year prefect, stomped across the corridors in a fit of rage. His eyes were swimming with fury and looked like they were about to beam out lasers. And his fluffy blond hair looked like it was brushed haphazardly.

Overall, Lucius just appeared like any other student that overslept.

Except most students' robes aren't pink.

Maybe that was the problem!

Professor Sinistra, the teacher on duty for rounds that morning, gave him the look all teachers seem to have down to pat, and inquired, "Mr. Malfoy, do I… want to know why you've decided to ignore the school rules and wear these… robes?"

Lucius drew himself up imperatively. "Actually, you do. If you would follow me, Professor, you might want to see this. Oh, and please call some of the other professors. We may need back up."

The gloomy, mysterious dungeons were currently in a state of chaos. The younger years were huddled outside their common room, sniffing and occasionally bursting into tears and their older peers looked to be in a wreck, attempting to comfort the children – from a respectable distance, of course. Crisis or not, there were reputations to maintain!

It seemed odd, though, that the majority of the distressed were male. The females, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind. They were laughing and blushing over the newest Witch Weekly; the cover displaying a rather handsome teenage boy, winking at them from time to time.

"What is the meaning of this?" boomed Slughorn, squeezing himself to the front. At his appearance, Lucius quickly hissed the password for his Head of House, and the blank stretch of wall slid open, revealing the Slytherin common room.

At first sight, it looked like a bunch of flamingos had thrown up. The whole room was pink. Pink walls, pink ceiling, pink floor, pink tapestries, pink staircases, pink rugs, pink fireplace, and in one odd case a pink person.

Pink, pink, pink!

"Even our robes and daywear were tampered with, sir." Lucius continued. "I didn't realise until it was too late."

"Just as I suspected," said Slughorn, shaking his head sadly. "We've been bamboozled with! We'll have to confront the student body during dinner tonight."

"Sir!"

"Put your pride aside, Mr. Malfoy! Our beloved founder's house has been tarnished with by a couple of delinquents. We can not let this act slide - justice must be served!"

"CEASE!"

Everyone froze. The lively Great Hall's sound diminished as they watched their normally cheerful professor glare around with a look of hatred painted on his face. Very unlike Horace Slughorn.

He gestured impatiently towards the grand oak. "Albus, lock the doors."

Dumbledore merely raised an eyebrow, but did as he was told.

"Now," said Slughorn, satisfied now that he had gotten their undivided attention. "Which one of you little brats did it? Huh?"

"Did what, Professor?" asked one meek Ravenclaw.

As Slughorn gave the student a rather hurried explanation with a few choice words inserted in between, four second year Gryffindors sat at their house table, unnaturally quiet.

"Stop twitching, Remus." A boy with messy black hair said out of the corner of his mouth to his companion. "They'll suspect us."

"Just because he's twitching?" queried another with dark hair. "That's stupid."

"Your face is stupid."

"Your life is stupid."

"Your mum is stupid."

"I agree."

James Potter snapped his fingers in disgust, silently admitting defeat. He turned to the twitching boy, Remus, who looked like he was doing a jittering dance that was currently popular in the Muggle world.

"Are you sure you're alright?" asked Peter worriedly.

"I-I-I j-just a-a-assisted in a c-c-crime w-worthy of e-expulsion," sputtered the second year, looking petrified. "M-m-mum is g-g-going to k-k-kill me!"

Unfortunately, Remus had proclaimed this when the Great Hall was quiet.

"You there! Boy!" screamed Slughorn, pointing a stubby finger at Remus who shrank under his gaze. "There will be no killing of any sort until I catch the culprit! What's your name?"

"It was them!" shouted Sirius Black suddenly, jumping up from his seat and pointing at a group of first year girls in Ravenclaw. "They did it, I swear!"

Slughorn's face softened; Black would never lie to him. He was from a dignified family, very rich and powerful. Perhaps I should ask him to be apart of my Slug Club… he mused happily. He envisioned himself standing beside the Black heir, posing for the Daily Prophet. Later, he chastised himself, now to deal with these hooligans.

"Detention, ladies." He ignored their squawks of outrage. "And I want you all to write an essay on why we should never tangle with Slytherins..."

"I don't know if I should kick you or hug you." James said frankly, once dinner recommenced. "But since I don't want to inflate your ego, I'm going to kick you instead."

"Let's not be hasty, now." Sirius smiled sweetly. "I saved your lives. The least you should be doing is giving me your money."

Remus took out his wand and pointed to Sirius' robes, muttering a spell. Ten seconds later, a cry was heard:

"PINK! IT'S ALL BLOODY PINK!

A/N: What's your favourite colour? Mine's green!

What do ya reckon are the four Marauders' favourites? *thinking cap on*

THANKS TO Remus' daughter FOR THIS REQUEST YOU GAVE ME ONCE AGO!

Shoutouts to: GrassBlade-Chan, Hpdwlotr24, skHermione, Remus' daughter, Chuggamuffin, Professor McGonagal, shadowkat678, and xxSiriusxxforeverxx who are undeniably AMAZIIIIIING and each deserve one illegal (cuddly) niffler!