Foooood Fiiiiight!

They didn't plan on getting those detentions.

Honest, they didn't!

They were just a bunch of ickle first years, fresh out from sorting, practically babies in the eyes of the rest. But babies didn't break the school's fastest detention record on the second day of their first year, do they?

They didn't know one another that well, but that was okay. They'd be sharing a dorm for the next seven years, not to mention detention for the next ten weekends.

But if you really thought about it - it was so worth it.

"I don't care if you've been sorted into Gryffindor – you are eating with us, your family. Just because you wear their hideous colours does not mean you are one. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, cousin Bella."

"Now, once we enter, you will act on your status as the Heir to the Nobel and Most Ancient House of Black. No slouching, elbows off the table, use the correct silverware, and speak once you are spoken to. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, cousin Bella."

"Good boy," she pinched his cheeks, a bit too painfully to be considered loving, and inclined her head towards the grand oak. "Door."

Narcissa, who had been standing behind her sister respectfully silent, grabbed the oak's handle, pulling it open for the three of them.

The Hall immediately hushed as the three Purebloods entered, looking as cool and regal as royalty. Many heads were bowed down, trying not to catch the eyes of either of the girls, especially Bellatrix. Her curses were infamous in the school.

The Blacks made their way over towards an empty spot near the middle of the Slytherin table, obviously emptied for them.

Sirius winced, staring at his scuffed trainers. He didn't belong there. He belonged with the heroic Gryffindors, not the slimy snakes! But Bellatrix and Narcissa had ambushed him right when he left the common room with James Potter so what else could he do? Dear Bella had a way with her wand that left anyone wishing to just die with one hit.

"Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall called, a smiling James standing behind her. "I do believe your house table is over here."

Sirius hopped up, shooting his best apologetic face towards his family who practically had steam coming out from their ears, and made his way over to his new best buddy, slapping him a low-five.

Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, as they introduced the day before, were sitting next to one another, and shifted over to make some room. After the proper greetings were exchanged, the boys dug into their respective meals.

Life was good.

That was until a spoonful of porridge came out of nowhere, hitting Remus Lupin on the side of his tawny hair. The glop slid slowly down his face, falling neatly onto his plate.

"Who did that?"

Peter pointed towards the Slytherin table. "It was that mean girl!"

Narcissa 'Mean Girl' Black blew them a kiss.

"You know what this means, lads," James sighed tragically, grabbing a few pancakes from a pile. "WAR!" he let out a battle cry and flung the breakfast with all his might.

The pancakes flew in a beautiful parabolic arc, knocking house flags aside and whizzing through ghosts, and finally ending on a smirk-wearing Narcissa's pampered head.

"Direct hit!" James whooped, and celebrated with a victory dance. Just as he was about to execute his favourite part (jazz hands and some shuffling), a cold substance hit the back of his neck with a loud splat!

"No one hits my sister except for me." Bellatrix growled wiping her jelly covered hands on a random Slytherin's robes.

Sirius glowered at his cousin. Pity. I was hoping we could delay this until AFTER breakfast. Ah well.

He heaved a pitcher of milk across the room.

There was an echoing silence as the room's occupants all watched the jug miss its initial target, instead opting to hit one Severus Snape.

"Hey!" cried Lily Evans. Without another word, she picked up her own plate of eggs and hurled it at the enemy.

Meanwhile, the rest of Hogwarts School was watching this with intense fascination, minus the teachers who were desperately trying to end the ruckus. The students decided to join in, picking up any piece of food they could find, flinging it at their friends and foes.

It was complete pandemonium.

"Peter!" Sirius shouted, dodging the airborne plates and slop, trying to reach the frightened boy whose hands and feet were restrained by two seventh years who were attempting to toss him across the room like food. He grabbed a jug of pumpkin juice and hurled it at one boy, and body-slammed the other.

Remus and James fought through the crowd, holding onto each other so not to slip and fall on the fallen food and people on the ground and reached Peter and Sirius.

"C'mon!" Remus called, and pointed towards the grand oak doors. It was like something out of a spy movie; they ducked and dodged and crawled just to avoid the mess zooming around, until they finally made it. James was upset about leaving the battle early, but nevertheless reached for the handle.

"I don't think so," an amused voice sounded from behind them. Albus Dumbledore, French toast perched precariously on his pointed hat, smiled as the four boys turned around, eyes widening in fright.

"Pass me the washcloths, Sirius."

"Here."

"Hey! Those are dirty!"

"I have an idea!"

"Quick! Pretend you can't hear him."

"Let's sing songs to pass time!"

"NO!"

"The bristles on the broom go swish swish swish…"

Yep... it was so worth it.

A/N: Thanks to shadowkat678 for the prompt!

ALSO many thanks to: Hpdwlotr24, shadowkat678, MissDemigodWizard, Remus' daughter, skHermione, Chuggamuffin, paperBack157, and xxSiriusxxforeverxx for reviewing! They made my day, like always :)))))