Hi, guys:

I don't usually write messages up top, but I wanted to let everyone know that I'll probably not be updating as often as I have this week. The winter holiday blessed me with an abundance of free time, and soon real-life will have to get in the way. I'll try to keep things going pretty regularly for my small number of followers (I appreciate you all!) but I'm not sure yet what "regularly" means—hopefully once a week. In the meantime, thanks for favorite-ing, following, and reviewing. I really appreciate it.

All best,

BetaTurtle

"Well I couldn't very well have let them go around thinking she was a terrorist, could I," the doctor said.

"And now I look like a fool," Anderson spat.

"Well, you didn't need very much help from me on that front."

Anderson glared and walked into the infirmary, his hands on his hips.

"And you, Shepard," Anderson said, his brow furrowed. He crossed the small infirmary floor once, then twice, then once more again, shaking his head. He looked up at her as if to say something and then thought better of it, instead, bringing his hands to his face, rubbing his forehead and then dropping his hands to his side. After the silent show had ended, he seemed to stand a little straighter, as if something immovable and permanent had just been decided.

"Nobody else saw you?" he asked Shepard.

"No. Just you," she said. "And her, I guess."

"Good," he said. "If someone else had found you this whole thing would have been ruined."

"What whole thing?" the doctor asked before Shepard had time to wonder the same thing. The pain in her chest was still making it difficult to think, and if she didn't lie down soon, she was afraid she would pass out.

"I've got her a spot in the Academy."

That certainly made her focus. Anger surged up inside her again, displacing the pain. Her brother had told her about the Academy before, and she was sure she didn't like what the Lieutenant had in mind. "You're sending me to military school?"

The doctor's eyebrows arched in surprise at the news. "The Academy? I can't… but how? And, I'm sorry dear, I mean this with no offense, but why?"

"It wasn't my idea, but I think it's the right place for her. You've seen what's she's accomplished already. The only one, Karen. The only survivor, and a hell-raiser on top of that."

"She's not your…" the doctor began to say.

"I know she's not," Anderson said, sharply. "But it's still something I can do."

"I'm right here," Shepard said.

"Yes, sorry," Anderson said, looking back to her. "The Academy. My captain's given you a recommendation on my recommendation, and you've got a place if you want it. This really never happens. Students are on the wait-list for months, years even. It's an amazing opportunity for you."

Shepard's face burned. No. This was not the plan. She had to find her family, had to save them and bring them back together again. Going to school was a waste of time. She had never been a good student to begin with. All four Shepard siblings had been homeschooled. With so few people on the colony anyway, it didn't make sense for the government to spend the resources and manpower required to set up any formal schooling. Vague promises of "next year" and "later" were made every year, but no solid plans had been implemented and so they fended for themselves, ordering used textbooks and materials from the dry goods store each year and passing them down, one to the other. She knew from the shows she watched, that most kids her age were learning calculus, reading Shakespeare, and learning the finer points of Turian grammar. But, she'd had none of that. She could read and write well enough, sure, could read the time of day by the moons, figure out just what was wrong with a plant, whether it was overwatered or under-sunned, by the shape of it's leaves, hell, she could hit a target from a mile off, but put her in a classroom and she was done for.

Besides that, while only a few hours ago, she had envied her brother's plans to join the Alliance military, her plans had changed. And military school had no part in them. They couldn't make her go.

"What right do you have to send me?" she said.

"No right," Anderson replied. "And I'm not sending you anywhere. I said I got you a spot."

Shepard was suddenly confused. If she wasn't being ordered to do something, then what was going on?

"I can't just sit and be a student. Learn my lessons while somewhere out there my family might be alive."

"No."

"What?"

"No. You can't. But you also don't understand what I'm offering you. The Academy doesn't make students. It doesn't even make soldiers. It makes leaders. The people that come out of the Academy go on to run nations. They lead armies. When you leave the academy you can do whatever you want because you'll have the skills and, likely if you're doing it right, the means. They've trained presidents, assassins, dictators, tycoons. Their students have designed spaceships, weapons, they've gone on to conquer planets—one's even made herself a little kingdom out on a planet in Amada. Made herself a queen. By the time you make it out of this school you can do whatever you want. You'll be able to save them."

"But that's two years from now. By then they'll be halfway across the universe. They could be dead. They could be sold a million times over. If I wait I'll never find them!" she said.

"They'll be halfway across the universe already. We've already got a team looking for them, far more skilled and far better equipped than you are. Yes, going will delay you, a little bit. But by the time you're done, you'll be much more effective. What have you got now? A broken rib and a hand gun?"

"Not anymore," the doctor piped in, nodding at the locked medicine cabinet.

Lieutenant Anderson continued, "That's not much. Think about it. In two years you could have armies."

She looked at him, calculating. "But, I don't have to go?"

"Look. I'll make this easy for you," he said. "I can't give you a lot, but I've got about 300 credits to spare right now, and I'll give them to you if that's what you want. You can take them and slink off this ship and do whatever it is you want once we get to port. Try to find your family, murder the first Batarian you find. Whatever you like. You've proven to be pretty crafty already. You'll likely figure something out. Make your way to another star system at the very least. But I doubt you'll make it much farther."

"I made it past you."

"But not past her," Anderson said, pointing at the doctor. "And she wasn't even trying to find you."

The doctor, who had made herself busy with some paperwork glanced up just long enough to reveal the smile she was poorly hiding and then bent back over her work.

"And no matter how smart and tough you are, the universe is smarter and tougher," Anderson continued. "That's why you need help. That's what I'm offering you. Help."

"What's the catch?"

"No catch. Just a chance."

"Then why are you trying to help me? I'm nobody to you. Unless you're some sort of weird pervert, and then I'm definitely out of here."

At that, the doctor burst out laughing. Anderson flushed red. "I'm not… Look, Shepard. You don't have to take this chance. I understand. But, I think you've got something in you to be great. And this is your shot at that. Greatness. Vengeance. Goodness. Evil. Anything. Everything. You could make it happen."

"The universe."

"The whole edgeless universe," he nodded.

Shepard twisted her mouth into a scowl. Damn, the man was good. She didn't have to wonder what her older brother would do. What the real Shepard would do. She already knew.

She stuck out her hand. "Okay. But this is how it will go: I'll go to this school. But the second anything gets weird. Or if I don't like it. Or if it can't help me get what I want then I'm out of there. Okay?"

He looked at her hand. "You have to give it a chance. It's not easy. You won't like it. Especially not at first. You'll work harder than you ever have in your entire life."

"With all due respect, sir. I'm a farmer. You don't know the meaning of hard work unless you've tilled Mindoir soil with a hand rake."

He chuckled and took her hand. "Okay. We have a deal."

"And I don't owe you anything."

"And you don't owe me anything."

They shook. His grip was firm. She made sure hers was firmer.

"Finally," the doctor said, breaking their contest. "I think it's about time you both got out of each other's hair before both of your egos explode and I have to re-sanitize the infirmary again. Anderson, I think you need to head back to the bridge and explain what's happened, and you, Shepard, should probably go eat something. Shock can make your body go a little haywire. You need to get some food in you before you go to sleep. I'll show you the way."

"What about my weapons bag?"

"I believe the Lieutenant can take care of that. Don't you think? Now that you're both in agreement, I mean."

"Fine," Shepard said.

After scarfing down more rehydrated mashed potatoes than was likely wise, Shepard practically rolled back to her bunk, and alone in the dark, with a blanket pulled up around her chin, she wondered whether she had made the right decision.

The ship was scheduled to dock early the next morning, and from there she had been booked a ticket on a freighter to the Citadel.

"You're not going with me?" she'd asked Lt. Anderson, feeling younger and more inexperienced than she was trying to let on. He wasn't. The Bergen's stop to pick her up had been a detour, and she'd known even before the words were out of his mouth that they were going further out into the reaches of space and leaving her behind. She didn't owe him anything, and he didn't owe her anything, but the idea of being alone still hurt her a little bit, made her collar feel just a little too tight, and her hands warm. She would be fine, or course. The freighter had been booked for her already, a spot at the Academy reserved, and Anderson had re-assured her that someone would be there to meet her once she got off the ship at the Citadel. The road had been paved for her and gilded. This was what she should do, what her brothers would have wanted for her. But she couldn't help feeling guilty.

As she lay in the dark, images of her parents shackled in the bowels of a Batarian ship, of her brother dead in her arms echoed in her head. The next morning, she woke up screaming.