Hey all, it's not EternalNocturne! It's actually the Reg-Maestro (the former Sir Pantaloons). She's been busy as of late, so I wanted to write this as a filler chapter for Dying. Since I pretty much come up with every chapter idea now. Lel.

(Chapter 22- Link Moves to Canada.)

It was a magnificent day in Hyrule. The sun was shining, the cuckoos were clucking, Zelda was Zeldaing, and Link was getting Zeldaed at.

"Link! You can't be the Queen of Hyrule! STOP ASKING!" a very annoyed Zelda yelled.

"I can be whatever I want, as long as I put my mind to it!" Link retorted.

The hero in green looked towards the camera and winked.

"Link, I've had it. I'm kicking you and your cameraman out of Hyrule. In fact, I'm kicking you out of the Legend of Zelda series. For my last gift for you, I've booked you and your cameraman two tickets to Canada."

Link's eyes widened. He knew that with all of the nice people, clean air, welfare, hockey, maple syrup, and Canadian accents, he wouldn't survive a minute there.

"B..b..but Zelda! I'm your boyfriend! You can't make me move to Canada! Not only will the goddesses not be able to look over me, but it will be in the one place both of us vowed never to go.

Link's cameraman zoomed into Link's mouth.

"The.

Real.

World."

Link's cameraman then took out his MasterPhone and played some dramatic music.

"Too bad, Link. I don't care. See you in the afterlife!"

Zelda then used her Captain Falcon powers to punch Link so hard, that he created a portal to the real world. The only obstacle left in Zelda's way was Link's cameraman. Unfortunately, this cameraman weighed well over three hundred pounds.

"Out you go, Tubbo." Zelda said, obviously irritated at the presence of this obese gentleman.

"I'll have you know that I'm big-boned. Even so, I won't move. I must defend Hyrule for Master Link! I will become the Hero of Time! Although, I'd much rather be the Hero of Twinkies…"

Link's cameraman then forgot about his quest and started dreaming about Twinkies.

"Hey, Tubbo, I'll give you a Twinkie if you go into that there portal in the sky."

Zelda pointed upwards to a gigantic, gaping portal that had a purplish substance oozing down from it, making the every Zora, Goron, or Hylian run for their pickle jars.

"Hm… One Twinkie, you say? You've got yourself a deal." Link's cameraman replied.

Once he had obtained his Twinkie, Link's cameraman used his fat rolls to fly through the air, causing an even greater ruckus in Hyrule. The Zoras constructed more Water Temples, the Gorons gave Volvagia a back massage, and those Hylians with low self-esteem decided to go live in a pineapple under the sea. Nobody recovered their bodies.

Once Link's cameraman reached the portal, he dove straight in, and started falling through the air.

Ever since he was cast for Skyward Sword, Link had an intense skydiving fetish. So, he took great pleasure in falling through the sky. However, he did not realize what was above him.

"Cameraman coming through!" yelled Link's cameraman.

Link began screaming as his cameraman fell on top of him. With the increased weight, Link and his cameraman began falling faster than the speed of sound, which caused Sonic to curl up in a corner with a bottle of whiskey.

"Get off me, Fatty Magoo!" Link screamed as the torturous girth of the rotund cameraman hurtled the two of them closer to the snowy ground below.

"NEVER CALL ME FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" exclaimed the furious fatty.

This prompted Link's cameraman to kick Link as hard as he could into the ground. So, while Link broke almost every bone in his body, his cameraman landed on his pinky finger.

"Good… thing… I… still… have… that… red… potion…" stuttered a dying Link.

"Oh, uh, I drank that. I thought it was Plateau Dew."

Just as those words escaped the cameraman's thirty-seven chins, two officials in red suits galloped over to Link on horses.

"Hello, eh! We're the Mounties. What brings you to our fine country of Canada, eh?" asked the Mounties.

"I'm… dying…" Link stammered, blood gushing from his multiple open wounds.

"Oh, don't worry, eh. We have a superhero just for times like this, eh!"

The Mounties blew a random whistle, and a man with a giant W on his chest picked Link and Link's cameraman up, and flew them to a hospital. Once there, Link passed out.

"Link… Link!... LINK! Wake up! I'm hungry!"

Link sat upright, sending the sheets covering him flying outside. He looked around in a confused manner, before finally throwing a spare sandwich at Link's cameraman. However, Link's cameraman looked different. Link finally realized that Link's cameraman had lost weight!

"Oh, you shouldn't have. While you were in that coma, the doctors put me on a diet. I lost one hundred and seventy pounds in three minutes! All thanks to the Canadian welfare!" stated Link's cameraman.

Link then remembered he was in the Real World. He then was shocked even further to find he was in Canada. He almost died when he heard that the Hoser was closed today.

"Quick, Tubbster! Let's build a log cabin and become Canadian citizens!"

Link grabbed Link's cameraman, and ran off into the sunset, gathering logs and Canadian citizenships. With the help of the Master Sword, Link built a log cabin and acquired a Canadian accent.

"We did a good job, eh. I couldn't have done it withoot you, Tubby!" Link squealed, overjoyed at the momentous occasion.

Meanwhile, back in Hyrule, Zelda decided to order tickets to go visit Canada. Gaepora delivered them in a matter of 3 to 5 business days, and Zelda boarded the Portal to Canada.

While Zelda was falling from the sky, Link and Link's cameraman were situated at the Hoser Hut.

"This is some nice maple syrup, eh!" Link said with happiness.

"At least Zelda isn't here to ruin our-" Link's cameraman was cut off when a Hylian princess covered in snow stormed through the doors.

"Link, you are coming back to Hyrule this instant! As princess, I shall have you beheaded if you refuse." Zelda screeched, infuriated with her "boyfriend".

"Ah, I'd love to, eh, but I belong here in the Canada! There aren't any Hoser Huts in Hyrule, now are there?" Link asked.

A girl dressed in black flew in with a scythe and beheaded Link. Link's cameraman then grew to the size of two cameramen and devoured the entire Hoser Hut, but only after the girl and Zelda escaped.

The girl's wings fell off, and she asked Zelda if she could go live in Hyrule.

"Eh, why not."

Just then, a huge ego fell from the sky with two Loftwings and a gigantic pompadour. The three flew back to Hyrule and were never heard from again.

"…and that kids, is the story of How I met your Twinkies." Link's cameraman concluded.

A/N- (This was fun to write. Also no offense to Canadians. You hosers are the best.)