(PoptartProdigy: Glad to have you on. Yes, much of it was written before I started posting, and what wasn't completely done was at least outlined. I've been filling in gaps and tweaking it as I post, but real life obligations dictate that I would not be able to dedicate this much time to a project all at once. I fear I may be spoiling you guys for any future update schedules. XP )

132. The Bard's Heart

When they returned to Arl Eamon's estate, Leliana did not feel up to joining the after-dinner festivities. So, she asked one of the servants whether there were any guest rooms available. The elf nodded and motioned for her to follow.

Leliana bit her lip while she followed the petite elf, Meila's voice in her head telling her not to take this woman's servantness and elvishness as one in the same thing. And so, when the woman waved Leliana into an empty room in back, Leliana found herself turning to the elf.

"Are you happy here?"

The woman froze, obviously startled to be addressed. But then, a smile burst across her features, and she nodded. "Yes, Master Eamon is most kind to his household."

Leliana smiled in return. "That's good to hear. Are you from here, or did you come from Redcliffe?"

"Here, my lady. I work in the Denerim estate full-time while the master's away."

"Oh, then you must know Finian!" Leliana paused. "Unless that's an unfair assumption, to expect all elves from the same city to know one another."

The servant's smile widened, this time with amusement. "No, it is reasonable. The elven Alienage community is quite tight, here. Yes, I know Finian."

"It must be very strange, working in the same household he's guesting at, yes?"

"A little. Though, truth be told, it's a bit of a relief to be able to keep an eye on him. He used to get in so much trouble, and Cyrion does worry."

Leliana smiled conspiringly, remembering the kindly elf from her previous adventure in the Alienage. "Oh, yes. I've met him. How did he take the news that Finian was arrested and imprisoned in Fort Drakon?"

The elf ducked her head with a laugh. "We... collectively decided not to tell him."

Leliana giggled. "Probably for the best. What he doesn't know can't give him an aneurism, no?"

The other woman stifled a laugh.

"I'm Leliana. What's your name?"

"Irella."

"It was nice to meet you, Irella."

The servant nodded. "Enjoy your stay, Leliana." She ducked a bow and scurried off, still smiling, and Leliana became aware of another set of eyes on her, behind her.

She stayed still as a presence slipped up behind her and lithe arms wrapped around her waist. Meila didn't say a word, just hugged her, and that said more than enough.

Gently, Meila steered her into the room and shut the door behind them. Leliana settled her things on the nightstand, then sat on the small bed, enjoying the fluffiness of the comforter.

Meila leaned back against the door and watched her. "You do not have to smile for me, satsulahn."

"I enjoy smiling for you."

Meila shook her head, stubborn as ever. "The incident with Marjolaine has shaken you. You need not hide that."

Leliana shrugged and laid back on the bed.

"I can still track her and kill her, if you like. She has not likely gotten far out of the city."

A short, hysterical burst of laughter escaped Leliana, but she slapped her hands over her mouth and it stopped. Then, she shook her head and finally let the smile on her face fade. It was harder than it should have been, considering she did not feel much like smiling in the first place. "No. I do not want anything more to do with her. Let her go back to her small life in Orlais. I am finished with it. And her."

There was movement, and the bed depressed as the elf sat beside her. "I never doubted that."

"I did." A slender hand smoothed the hair from her forehead, and Leliana glanced over at the elf. Meila watched her patiently. "A part of me wanted to return with her. To go back to that life, even though I know that she would only use me again."

"You are drawn to excitement and challenge. That is not a bad thing."

"But it is, because it makes me want to go back to that life where I did such horrible things. I liked it! I could not even let you kill her because of it!"

"You could not let us kill her, vhenan, because such coldness is no longer in your nature." Meila ran a hand through her hair, and Leliana closed her eyes, because it was soothing. "You always wish to believe the best of the world. You believe that in letting her live, you have refrained from doing that little bit of evil."

"Only to allow more evil, by letting her live on to do it."

"If you truly believed that, you would not hesitate to send myself or the assassin after her." Then, fondly. "But you do, ma vhenan. That is why you are better than her."

Leliana opened her eyes to see mossy green ones leaning over her. "What does that one mean? 'Ma vhenan'?"

A red flush creeped to the tips of Meila's pointed ears. "'My heart'."

"You would call me that, even after you know the sort of life I once led?"

"I have told you, have I not, of my own crimes?" Meila looked away. "I, too, regret the lives I have taken unwarranted over the years. Yet I find that I cannot regret the life you had led. If you had not, you would not have fled to Ferelden and hidden in the Lothering Chantry, and we would never have met. A selfish sentiment, I know."

Leliana's heart melted. "A little, but it is also a little romantic, no?"

Meila met her eyes again, this time uncertainly. "I would not know." She took a breath, and there was a guarded earnestness in her expression. "Before we met, I was closed off, even to my own people. I always had to be strong, and independent, and never show my weaknesses to anyone. But you and the other Wardens... you all accept my faults. It is... strange." Meila's hand wandered down, to rest over her heart. "You, satusulahn, taught me that other points of view need not be greeted with hostility, but with openness and a willingness to learn. You taught me that trust is not a thing to be hoarded and only given with great prying. I do not know what it is about your life that has made you as you are now, but I cannot regret it, because it has taught you to care, and to be free with your love and your joy. And that, in turn, has taught me. In that, you are my heart, and so I call you ma vhenan."

Leliana felt tears running down her face by the end of it. Gently, she reached up and carded her fingers through Meila's hair, feeling silky locks and hard, cool beads both. "Thank you, Meila."

The elf shook her head. "It is I, ma vhenan, who should be thanking you."

Leliana stifled a giggle, and pulled Meila down for a kiss.