Good Dog
"Get lost."
"No! Ha ha!"
"Can't you just behave? Just for once?"
"Hmm, let me think - NO! HA HA!"
"Move aside, Remus."
"Good luck."
"Sirius, I dare you to be good for one entire day. No jokes, no pranking and no fun."
"You mean be a bore? Like Remus?"
"Pretty much."
"How much are we talking?"
"Fifteen galleons."
"Ho, ho, you drive a hard bargain."
"Thank you. I vaguely recall you telling me your parents stopped giving you allowance last week?"
"Oh, you're such a good friend. I didn't expect you to remember."
"Well, I did."
"Brilliant."
"Yeah..."
"Uh, huh,"
"…So the deal?"
"You're on."
When Professor McGonagall opened her door for Transfiguration the next morning, she expected the usual to greet her: Potter, Black and Pettigrew pushing past her to get inside (making a huge raucous in the process) and Lupin, the poor boy, to follow right behind, shooting his friends disapproving looks at their backs.
Today, Potter and Pettigrew sprinted inside as if they were being chased by the bogeyman, and Lupin trailed behind, sighing exasperatedly. Everything seemed normal. Or it would have if McGonagall didn't get that tingly feeling she usually got whenever dungbombs rolled close to her desk in class. You know, the trouble-detecting sense teachers always had.
McGonagall knew one thing for certain: something was off.
But what?
Just as she was about to close the door and give her class a good stare-down, a foot shot out to stop it.
"I'm terribly sorry I'm late, Professor McGonagall," the foot apologized.
"It's quite alright," she said curtly, opening the door. "Now please come in, we're wasting time."
The foot retracted and its owner appeared. Minerva McGonagall couldn't believe her eyes. It was Black. But that wasn't what caused her to gape uncommonly. He looked…orderly. His robes were pressed down, looking so sharp it could've cut butter. His black lazy curls were slicked back with utmost precision. McGonagall looked at his shoes just to make sure – and gasped: they were polished!
Who was this boy?
"I got you some flowers just to show you how much I appreciate all the work you put in to teach us, but now they can serve as apology flowers…for being late."
McGonagall looked at him, then at the bouquet of pink geraniums in his hands, then to him again. "I don't know what you're up to, Mr. Black, but at the end of the day if this little stunt makes me ponder on why I ever took this job in the first place, you will regret this. Do I make myself clear?"
"Crystal."
McGonagall snatched away the flowers and began her class. But her eyes never strayed away from Black long enough. She couldn't trust him. The second year sat up oh, too straight and paid attention oh, too well for her liking. Black didn't even laugh when a student tripped in front of him. As a matter of fact, he helped the boy up and gave him a great big handshake.
Was he finally - dare she say it - growing up?
McGonagall didn't know, but one thing was for sure: she needed a lie down. Perhaps this was a good enough time to crack open the bottle of Gillywater in her dresser…
At lunchtime, James, Remus and Peter traipsed in thirty minutes late looking dirty and famished. They had just dug out a small pumpkin from Hagrid's patch (after getting permission, of course) and were planning on jinxing it to spew obscenities to whoever touched it during their free period.
They spotted Sirius and made their way over.
"Hey, mate!" said James, taking a seat across from him and grabbing a sandwich from a platter. "Where've you been? We were supposed to meet by the patch at eleven, remember?"
"Gee willikers! Was that today?" Sirius looked up from his salad in surprise. "Oh, sorry, guys. Rebecca Wilson from Hufflepuff asked me to help her on her Charms."
"Rebecca Wilson?" said Peter in shock. "That girl's been asking you for help for ages and you always turned her down. What's brought on the change?"
"I realized the error of my ways and decided helping my peers is better than pulling pranks or Qudditch," he stabbed into his salad roughly at that remark.
"AKA, he didn't want to lose the bet," translated Remus.
"Hey, Sirius," said James suddenly. "You have something on your shirt." He reached over the table and pointed at a spot directly below his chin.
Sirius looked down and James seized the opportunity to flick his nose up. James fell back laughing at the look on his face.
Sirius took out his wand and was just about to mutter an incantation when he came to his senses. Stuffing his wand back into his robes' pocket, he said, "Childish games are not for me, anymore, my friends. Laugh all you want, it doesn't bother me."
Peter, James and Remus shot each other sidelong glances because really, it was miracle Sirius was even holding out this long, but they resigned to trick him into slipping up, for nothing was worse than a wicked angry Sirius with a wand.
After they finished eating, they headed to the common room to get started on the pumpkin. As they were ascending the staircase to their dorm, they bumped into Marc Bolton from third year coming down the stairs.
"Black, just the person I wanted to see," said Marc.
"Oh, yeah? What's up?"
"You're pretty good with the ladies, right?"
"Why do you say that?"
"I heard some stuff," he said cryptically. "I was wondering if you could help convince Cindy Summerville to go out with me."
"The Slytherin?"
"I like the feisty ones."
Sirius started to shake his head, but caught the smug looks on his friends' faces and stopped. "Actually, I'd love to help you. Now if you would excuse me, I forgot something in the common room."
After Sirius had left, James turned to Marc with a triumphant smile. "Thanks, Bolton!"
"And thank you for the thirty-two sickles."
Sirius was sitting by the fireplace when the Marauders caught up to him. He had two Herbology textbooks on his lap, a plush Quaffle in his hands, scrolls of Rune problems by his feet and a feathered boa around his neck.
"Got to finish this essay on venomous plants for McKinnon, practice Qudditch with Smith, complete this Runes series for this sixth year and meet up for a play date with Laney the first year," was all he said when they reached him.
Remus picked at the boa. "Look at the bright side…it could be worse."
"Yeah, at least you don't have to be a test bunny for any of Peculiar Penny's concoctions."
Right then, Penny Lambert asked Sirius if he could please, please, please try out her broccoli muffins. He said yes.
After she had left, Peter realized he had forgotten his Potions book in the classroom and Sirius volunteered to go with him to retrieve it. He needed some air. Remus and James followed because they had nothing else to do.
The walk was spent in companionable silence. The dungeon hallways were frigid cold even in the mild April weather. The corridor was pretty dark, and the torches hanging from the brackets on the walls were doing nothing to illuminate their path. They could barely see their footsteps, which was why it came to them a surprise when they felt pairs of arms grab them from behind.
"WHOA!" A wand tip flared up, illuminating their faces in blue light.
"Why, if it isn't the Marauders," said Slytherin Alden Mulciber.
"Yeah, if it isn't the Marauders," repeated Daniel Rookwood.
"Shut up," said Mulciber. He turned to his struggling victims. "So, what's up with you guys? Everything going alright?"
"Let us go!"
"That's great! Another nice day, I see. I reckon it's going to be a warm one. Can't tell down here, though. It's bloody freezing. Rookwood and I always mean to tell Slughorn to lace some heating charms around here."
"I think there might be a rain shower later on this afternoon," said Rookwood.
"Shut up," snapped Mulciber.
"If you two ladies are done your squabbling," interrupted James. "We've got places to go, people to see. Something you aren't aware of, I'm sure, since no one wants to see your faces."
Mulciber snapped his fingers and the minion holding Sirius' arms back let go, then he turned to James. "Cute. Too bad I don't have time to engage in meaningless verbal sparring with you. I came here for Black."
"Why?" asked Sirius crisply.
"Word on the street's that you're being really kind today."
Sirius stared at him blankly. "And?"
"So, I want to test your limits," Mulciber smirked. "Kiss my shoes."
"No."
"Kiss my head."
"No."
"Alright, then, kiss my robes."
"No." Sirius fingers were balled up so tight, his fingernails were digging into his palms. He was shaking with rage and his eyes were screwed tight. Whatever he did, Sirius could not lose this bet. This wasn't about the galleons anymore, this was about his pride, and he wasn't going to let some bucktooth idiot take that from him.
"I know," smirked Mulciber. "How about you kiss my arse?" Rookwood and the other minions busted out laughing and Mulciber couldn't drop the haughty grin on his face as he watched Sirius try to control in his fury.
"Sirius?" called James. He didn't respond so James continued on. "You win! My legs are starting to fall asleep so if you could just kick his arse, I'd really appreciate it."
"Kick my arse?" scoffed Mulciber. "I'd like to see you try –" Sirius moved so fast, it was like he Apparated as he jump tackled Mulciber to the ground. No wands necessary. Mulciber's goons reacted way too slowly, and by the time they actually did, the Marauders were already disarming them and casting full body binds.
Meanwhile, Sirius was painting a lovely picture with Mulciber's face against the stone walls.
"Do you think we should stop him?" They watched as he twirled the Slytherin around with one arm before letting him go to watch him lose his balance. Sirius cackled madly.
"I think we should just let him get it out of his system."
Sirius left the unconscious Mulciber on the floor and grabbed a random minion from the tied up pile.
"This could take awhile."
A/N: Thanks to TheWeirdestMuse, Harry1675, PheonixTears1001, Hpdwlotr24, Chuggamuffin, chaosshotgun, bubblecloudz, Guest and Remus' daughter for reviewing!
Sirius: can I just say that I'm very offended by the title? It's like you have no respect for -
Hey guys! So who's your favourite or least favourite villain? My favourite is Set from the Kane Chronicles. He's freakin' hilarious :D I don't know about my least...probably Voldemort?
Peter: OHMYGODYOUSAIDHISNAAAAAAME!
Please review on the way out :)