I have never been more embarrassed in all my life. I didn't go back to the hospital wing after that night, consenting to staying behind whenever Ron or Hermione suggested another visit. I wouldn't return even with the Cloak on. Heck, I couldn't even bring myself to peruse the Marauder's Map for Malfoy's dot again. Most of all, I became increasingly worried that he would recover in the near future. My worry increased about ten-fold when I first saw Abigail out and about again two mornings later, because I knew that it meant Malfoy would soon follow.

By Godric, do I miss being an unfeeling stuffed dolphin.

"Good morning, Harry. How's the revision for NEWTs going?" Abigail asked, conversationally. I had been alone in the unused classroom up until now.

I glared at her. "You bloody well know how."

She blinked curiously at me. "Why are you afraid?"

"Oh, you think I look afraid?" Seriously, how did the brat, of all people, found me?

"I know fear of rejection when I see it," she answered meaningfully.

I hated that I was glad to have at least this one person to talk to.

"How long have you known, anyway?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Known fear?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. Was she feigning ignorance to try and make me say it? "No. Known whatever it is that you seem to know."

"What do you think I know?" she pressed on.

Fine. There was nothing for it anyway. "That I have feelings for Malfoy!"

We fell silent, and I actually swayed a little. Finally admitting it outside of my head made me feel …empowered, somehow. And nervous. And terrified. But mostly, relieved.

She patted me on the back. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it?"

I buried my face in my hands. They were shaking irrepressibly. "Just answer the question."

She looped an arm over my shoulders before speaking again. "You ever looked at a person, really looked, and felt like you were looking in a mirror?"

A memory of the first time I saw her unguarded eyes overwhelmed my mind. I brought myself out of my hands to find those lightless eyes again.

I saw it again. "You do love him. You always have. That's why you could do it."

She tilted her head a little to the side at this. "Do it?"

"Give him up, so he gets a second chance," I knew that by saying so, I was also admitting that she had done the right thing after all, but my ego didn't matter anymore.

She put on a confused look. "Is it a Gryffindor thing, putting things in such ways that they seem more valiant and dignified?"

I wanted to smack her on the head for that. "Just admit it, you …typical Slytherin."

She smiled. "I guess it may have been a contributing factor."

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being ridiculous!" I told her and shoved her a little. She only giggled.

"You told no one about that night," I stated, and soon realised that I had picked up the apparently Slytherin habit of simply stating things.

"Not my story to tell," she replied briefly.

"Thank you, really. Why are you helping me, anyway? I thought we ought to be rivals or something."

She then looked at me and smiled brightly. "Because I know something you don't."

"So tell me."

She turned away again. "No. I have a feeling you'll find out for yourself. Anyway, you should think about what needs to be done now."

I actually groaned in exasperation. "Turn me back into a stuffed dolphin?"

She poked me in the ribs. It hurt, but only a little.

"And what about you? At least be a good friend and stay a little more for him. Why can't you, I guess, start again with Malfoy?"

"Oh, you Gryffindors can be real thickheads. Listen to me very carefully" and she came to meet my eyes once more. "I am many things, and a good friend is not one of them. I never meant to stay, so now you're the one who has to go out there and face your fears."

I didn't know how to react to that. Was she being ridiculous again?

She then took my hand and pressed something cold into it. I looked down at my palm. It was curiously-shaped and made of silver, and I could tell that it was her own handicraft. Other than that, however, it was a completely foreign thing to me. I looked at her questioningly.

"It's supposed to remind you to stay true to yourself," she explained, shrugging.

Hurm. And she couldn't even truthfully admit her obvious feelings for Malfoy. "Well, you need it more than I do, then," I said, holding it out to her.

She shook her head. "I've had it on me all this time. It's my parting gift for you, I've decided."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "It doesn't work, then." I placed it in my pocket, nonetheless. "Wait, you're leaving right now? Hogwarts?"

"I was going to leave as soon as I was sure that Malfoy will be alright," she answered.

"Was going to?" I repeated her. "What changed?"

"It's finals week. I might as well finish this year. See you around, Harry." With that, she left the room.

I ventured outside after further consideration. Face my fears… right. Not a Gryffindor for nothing.

"Where do you go off to these days?" Hermione asked me the next day at lunch, by way of greeting me.

"It's a castle, Hermione. Not any place in particular." I plopped down across from her, my back to the Slytherins for the first time in months.

Hermione ploughed on, "I hope you haven't been just to skive off studying. Our first NEWT is only a couple of days away!"

"Yes, I know, Hermione," I tried to wave her off and switch my full attention onto having lunch.

"Abigail's left the hospital wing," Ron informed me unnecessarily.

"Yes, I know, Ron."

"As have Malfoy," Hermione said.

I stilled in my seat. "I see."

"No, I mean, he just did," she continued, indicating the entrance to the Great Hall.

I couldn't stop myself from turning to find him. He was just stepping into the Hall, flanked by Nott and Zabini. Our eyes met for a split second before I hurried back to my plate and skewered a cube of roast potato. I felt my prior determination ebbing away, and I actually growled in frustration. Hermione blinked at me.

I ignored her, shoving the potato into my mouth. Thankfully, she chose to shrug it off.

Within the next couple of days, I managed to avoid Malfoy entirely, having gone back to inspecting the Maraudar's Map every now and then again. I clung to the Map as if everything depended on it. But the dreaded first day of NEWT arrived, and I solemnly accepted that I wasn't going to be able to avoid Malfoy forever.

However, as I sat staring at the crude-shaped wooden block on the table before me later on, I realised that not being able to avoid Malfoy was the least of my problems now. I only had three more attempts to transfigure the block of wood into a fucking duplicate key.

"Can I see the key again?" I asked the examiner, and she showed me the key that I was supposed to make a wooden duplicate of for the third time in the past half of an hour. From a little ways behind me, I could make out Ron's complaining, "It's not like we can't use Alohomora instead…"

I silently agreed with Ron, but still tried my best to burn the shape of the key in my brain and project it back onto the block of wood. I felt cold sweat trickle down the side of my face.

I raised my wand again and uttered the incantation, picturing the shape of the key as accurately as I could. The wood floated, turned a few times, and then folded in on itself. A more jagged-shaped piece of wood fell back onto the table; I was getting close. Two more attempts allowed.

"Can I see the key again?" I repeated to the examiner for the fourth time.

"I will have to dock points this time, you know," she reminded me.

I almost cursed aloud. I sighed in defeat instead. "Alright."

She scribbled something on her parchment before showing me the key again, levitating it at my eye level as she did thrice before. I then looked as hard as I could ever look at anything.

"Alright," I repeated to myself in determination.

I distractedly closed my free hand over the cloth of my trouser pocket, feeling the cold metal inside it.

I waved my wand once more, saying the incantation in a firm voice and willing the bit of wood to take the shape of a key. It floated and turned again, and when it fell onto the table with another thud, I was elated to see that it was now shaped like a proper key. I sighed.

The examiner placed the template key next to my duplicate, the better to compare them.

"Good job," she said and nodded approvingly, "now turn it to metal."

I felt the colour drain from my face.

She laughed. "Only joking, Mr. Potter. You are excused."

I didn't know whether I wanted to strangle her or shake her hand gratefully. I decided on neither and just muttered my thanks. As I turned around to leave, she called out for the next candidate.

Having finished my first NEWT, I was feeling considerably lighter.

There was a revel of sorts in Gryffindor tower that night in celebration of a small victory, but I didn't feel like being around people just yet. I snuck out of the common room and soon found myself in the almost-empty library. I was drawn to the particularly dusty rows of Q through S.

I found a lonely armchair at the very back of row Q. I pulled out a random book from the shelf and went to sit in said armchair. It was unexpectedly not as dusty as the rest of the row. I sunk more comfortably into it and cracked my book open. I couldn't be bothered with its title at the moment.

I had only gotten through the first page when someone spoke to me. "You're in my seat, Potter."

I almost yelped. I looked up and found a somewhat dishevelled Malfoy standing in front of me, holding a book in one hand. The top buttons of his shirt were undone, his green tie loosened, and he had blond hair partly covering his face. To top it off, he had dust in said hair. Actually, he had dust nearly all over him. I felt compelled to take out my wand.

"What are you doing?" he asked, mildly alarmed. I raised my wand steadily and he took a step back.

"Potter." He warned curtly.

"Scourgify," I muttered. He only closed his eyes against the warm breeze. I frowned; he looked unruly, and he didn't have his wand, or he had forgotten that he's supposed to use it to defend himself. He blinked confusedly and I wondered about the reason for him being so out of sorts. I thought of Abigail.

"You don't look so good, Malfoy. How was Transfiguration?"

He abruptly stopped in the middle of dusting off his shoulder. Malfoy regarded me with furrowed eyebrows.

"It was fine," he answered finally.

I stood up from my seat. He took another step back. I noticed that he was looking at my hand that still held my wand. I put it back inside a pocket. He seemed to relax a little.

"What happened to your wand?" I decided to ask.

He looked at me with his 'what the heck' face. "What?" he asked, somewhat indignant.

"You're not supposed to just stand there when someone raises their wand against you," I knew I sounded pesky, but I couldn't be bothered with that, either, at the moment.

He only frowned at me. "What's with you?" he sneered.

How little does he remember? I stepped forward, and he took his third step back. I moved around him and replaced my book on the shelf. He almost fell backwards.

I sighed and stood back a little, waiting for his confrontation.

Silent moments passed, and Malfoy finally spoke. "That was really you the other night, wasn't it?"

I shifted. I didn't know what to expect, but I refused to run away this time. "Yes," I answered, baring all.

He turned his face a little to the side, cold eyes narrowed at me. It set my teeth on edge. "Explain," he demanded simply.

How typically Slytherin. "Explain?"

"Explain," he repeated crossly. I felt anger rising inside me. Was he belittling me? Mocking me?

In the next instant, I had him backed against the shelf, my arms raised to trap him between them. "What do you think, you arrogant Slytherin git?" I whispered harshly.

In the space of one short moment, he stood there frozen, eyes wide, and then reached up and shoved me to the side. I also heard the only word I needed to hear from him to confirm everything: "No."

I was done waiting. Once more, I ran as fast as my legs could go.

Author's Notes

Now that I'm getting to the Drarry part, I don't feel too obligated to end this story as soon as possible, so here's to a bit of angst and drama! Don't worry, Harry, I mean well. :P