As Bruce Banner said in the Avengers, "I'm sorry, that was mean." This chapter will be a tearjerker but I promise that there will be happier chapters in store and the ending is going to be sweet as can be.

….

Hiccup sat on his bed. He didn't even remember how he'd gotten home. Seeing Fergus in his doorway was the last thing he remembered. Fergus always looked just like his dad. In fact it was one of the things that kept Hiccup from forming a bond with Fergus for years. But suddenly, all he wanted more than anything was to hug his dad or at least say something to him. But he couldn't. Not anymore.

Toothless had his head in his lap, obviously sensing Hiccup's grief. Hiccup absentmindedly pet the dog, not sure if he could even cry. Shoot he didn't even cry when he got the news, he just…called Jack and then when it hit him he sort of blacked out like he always did when it came to his dad.

He closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath, "Guess I got my wish, huh Bud?" he commented softly to Toothless as he remembered thinking how he never wanted to see his Dad again. He must have been naïve to think that his dad dying wouldn't have affected him. But it did.

He was so lost in thought he had no idea that Jack was standing in his doorway, quiet as a mouse as though not to disturb Hiccup or scare him. Hiccup could see him though, almost sensed him, not that he made any indication he was so immobile.

Jack came in slowly and carefully sat on the bed, scooting closer to sit next to Hiccup. Without a word, Jack laid his hand gently on his boyfriend's leg and kept it there, waiting for Hiccup to say something or do anything. Hiccup didn't move, in fact it felt almost as if he wasn't breathing. If Jack wasn't paying such close attention to Hiccup's chest he never would have guessed Hiccup even was breathing.

Jack looked down at the bed and just sat there with Hiccup, silent. It felt like an eternity and the sun was setting outside the window.

Jack almost jumped when Hiccup finally spoke up, "There was a…a fight…in prison." He explained in a shaky voice, "My dad was in…he was caught in the middle of it. He didn't even start it or anything he was just…in the wrong place, at the wrong time."

Jack stared at Hiccup, amazed that not even a tear was shed. But the pain in his eyes…it was so evident that Jack actually began to cry for Hiccup, "I'm so sorry." He whispered.

Hiccup shook his head, "It's okay. I mean…it's not like we were close-"

Jack could only watch as Hiccup finally let loose everything he'd held back. His body shook with his sobs, his tears pouring like floods down his face, his voice so desperate.

Jack put a hand around Hiccup's shoulders, pulling him close. Hiccup leaned into Jack, sobbing into his shoulders.

"We…weren't…I never!" Hiccup sobbed over and over again until it began to make sense to him, "I gave him up!"

Jack hugged Hiccup and rocked him, hoping in some small way he was doing something for Hiccup.

"W-why?! Why didn't I t-tell him?! I should have told him every day! I…I loved him!"

"He knows, Hiccup." Jack finally spoke, "He knows."

"No! He doesn't because he's dead!" Hiccup sobbed, clutching Jack like a lifeline, "I let him r-rot in there!"

"No. You didn't." Jack said firmly, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"He asked me to get him out and I just gave him up!" Hiccup cried, his tears never ceasing.

Jack bit his lip and shut his eyes, imagining how horrible Hiccup must feel. He'd heard from Fergus downstairs that Stoick had been beaten mercilessly and all for nothing. He hadn't done anything wrong. And Hiccup knew that. Hiccup felt he'd condemned his father to death, only he had never anticipated that when he let his father go last year.

"You wanna know what I think?" Jack managed to get out dryly.

Hiccup clutched Jack harder, not saying anything.

"I think…" Jack swallowed, "That you and your dad were never closer until the day you stood up to him."

Hiccup shuddered again and Jack was afraid he'd have another sobbing fit but instead he merely blew out a shaky breath, still listening.

"Your dad was real proud of you, I know he was. He loved you so much and never loved you more than the day he was able to see you become fearless."

"I said horrible things to him." Hiccup admitted weakly, finally just sinking into Jack, "I just…I just wish he knew-"

"He knows." Jack said with a note of finality, "Believe me, he knows."

"It hurts so much…does it ever…will I…?"

"Yeah, it gets better." Jack promised as he adjusted them so Hiccup was laying on his side, leaning up against his chest.

"Please don't leave me." Hiccup pleaded weakly, "Please…"

"I'm not going anywhere." Jack said gently as he kissed his forehead, "I'm right here."

Hiccup was out in seconds and Jack found himself staring at the ceiling, silent tears running down his cheeks. It just wasn't fair to lose a father when you weren't ready. But then again, who's ever ready to lose a father? Sure Stoick had abused Hiccup and killed his mother, but Hiccup loved his father and his father loved him, even if it was through not saying anything. The more Jack thought about it he realized that Stoick letting Hiccup go was the best way to prove his love for his son. At least, that was what Jack thought.

He looked over at Hiccup who was so out cold he barely made a sound. Jack held onto him and closed his eyes. As he did, he silently asked his dad to find Stoick and welcome him with open arms to where all good fathers go when they passed. Heaven? Valhalla? It didn't matter, so long as Hiccup's father and Jack's father could watch their sons grow up together.

….

Hiccup woke up feeling groggy and realized that Jack was snoring softly next to him. On his other side, Toothless was snoring as well. Hiccup was sweating and his face felt like someone had taken sandpaper to it. He swallowed dryly and wanted nothing more than a cold glass of water and something to knock him out for the rest of his life. The second his father's image flashed in his mind it took everything in him not to vomit or cry again. His stomach turned and he felt as if his heart were splitting in two. He tried closing his eyes but his father's sad eyes came to mind too vividly. He opened them and all he felt was exhaustion. He was at a loss with what to do and it tormented him.

He felt Jack move in his sleep and groan as he turned to his side facing Hiccup. Hiccup saw Jack snake a comforting arm around his middle and squeeze him like he would a pillow. Hiccup smiled a little, the first real smile since he'd gotten the news.

He knew Phil meant well when he called Hiccup's cell phone to tell him what had happened, but Hiccup could only thank his lucky stars that he was in his room when he got the call and that Fergus was already on his way to get him. He hadn't even said a word to Tuffnutt or anyone at school. His father had already alerted the dean and Hiccup was excused from all of his courses for at least two weeks to recover from "grief", as if grief took that long to recover from. At the thought Hiccup snorted quietly and shook his head, wiping dried bits of sweat from his forehead. He carefully sat up and crawled carefully over Toothless to try and stand up. He needed a cool splash of water to the face and something to get rid of the ache he felt all over. He was still dressed in his t-shirt and jeans from the day. It was all gross and sweaty now having two bodies of heat surround him. He quickly stripped his t-shirt and jeans and found the stupid Gir pajama pants that Astrid had gotten him for Christmas two years ago. He didn't bother with a shirt at this point since he planned on cooling off. He walked out of the room and to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly. He had no clue what time it was but everyone was quiet so it must be late. He turned on the sink and took a cold drink from his hand before splashing the water all over his face and chest. He took a few minutes to breath and finally looked up at himself in the mirror. His eyes were baggy, his face pale. He looked away and finally dried himself off. He decided to get back to bed but when he opened the door, Jack was standing there, looking tired but smiling gently at Hiccup.

"You okay?" Jack asked quietly.

Hiccup nodded, wiping the wet droplets from his hair that he'd missed. He realized that Jack was wearing a hoodie and jeans as well so he didn't even want to know how badly Jack was sweating.

"You need some clothes?" Hiccup asked him.

"I'm fine." Jack shrugged, following Hiccup back to his room. He decided to lose the sweatshirt and jeans at least. His boxers were enough.

Hiccup sat down and began to remove his prosthetic but paused halfway through when he looked down at his stump of a leg. He dropped the prosthetic and put his head in his hands.

"Hiccup!" Jack gasped, rushing over.

Hiccup shook his head and looked up at Jack, "I'm okay, I'm just…"

"No, it's okay, really." Jack told him, "When I lost my dad, I had no idea what to think or feel and I'd just want to lose it at the most random times."

Hiccup felt better at least knowing that Jack understood what he was feeling.

"You'd think I'd be okay with it all, you know? I mean…"

"Hiccup it doesn't matter how close you were or weren't." Jack explained, "I loved my dad but he really wasn't around much because of the military. So I mean, you would think it would have been easy for me right?"

Hiccup looked over at Jack and nodded.

"Everyone is allowed to grieve for whoever they want and however they want." Jack finished, "So if it takes you years to recover from this, then you recover for however long you need to. Just so long as you live the life you were meant to."

Jack nearly cried remember his Uncle North's words to him at his father's funeral. Jack was so isolated he didn't even want to go to the funeral. He found an empty room in the church and had sat there hoping to avoid everyone's pity and well wishes. Uncle North had found him and let Jack cry onto his shoulder and kept him going. Now it was Jack's turn to let Hiccup do what he needed to do.

"There's not even going to be a funeral." Hiccup mumbled sadly, "No one would come." He shrugged.

Jack felt horrible for Hiccup. He wouldn't even get a chance to just say his goodbye's to his father. How cruel was that?

"They said they'll deliver his ashes to me this week." Hiccup continued, "I guess his last wish was to be spread over my mother's grave."

"Then…why don't you and I do it." Jack suggested, "This week or next week…we can go to your mother's grave and you can say your goodbyes to him. It'll just be us so you can…"

"You'd do that? For me?" Hiccup asked him with tears in his eyes.

"Yes. Hiccup, I don't know if you noticed," Jack teased, "but I freaking love you."

Hiccup actually laughed and snorted at that one, "True."

Jack elbowed him gently and put his arm around Hiccup's waist, placing his forehead against his.

Hiccup leaned into Jack, finding his hand in the dark to squeeze, "Thank you."

Jack smiled and kissed Hiccup's forehead, "You're welcome."

…

Jack had stayed over at Hiccup's house almost the entire week until the urn with his father's ashes was delivered. Fergus brought it inside and Jack was glad that at least the urn was a nice one and not some secondhand piece of junk. Elinor sat at the table with Jack and Hiccup with her hand on Hiccup's. Fergus said nothing but put the urn on the table in front of Hiccup quietly. Hiccup stared at it, not sure what to think. He almost laughed at the fact that his father was allowed to set foot in his house for the first time in years, that his father was free…the irony being that he was in an urn.

Hiccup reached out to touch it and felt himself choke up. He hesitated but then closed his eyes as he put his hand on the cool surface and held it there for a few minutes. He opened his eyes, hoping it was just a dream and that he was really putting his hand on his father's face or something. But he wasn't. A tear fell down his face as he got out softly, "Hi dad."

Elinor began to sniffle and cry before getting up to go to Fergus who held her. Both of them looked over at Hiccup, their heart breaking for him.

Jack pulled his keys from his jacket and looked to Hiccup, "You ready?" he asked.

Hiccup nodded as he pulled the urn to his chest slowly. It was not very heavy, but there was a weight that felt heavier than anything he'd ever held in his life. He did not know what it was, maybe words that were never shared, memories too dark to change, a life that was never supposed to end up the way it did. He could only speculate as he held tightly to the urn, the only time he could even remotely fit both his arms around his father.

Jack got up and nodded to Elinor and Fergus, "I'll make sure he gets back safely." He promised.

Fergus put a hand on Jack's shoulder and nodded and Elinor smiled at him, "You both be safe."

Jack smiled at her and then looked to Hiccup who was still looking down at the object in his arms like it was a precious child he had to protect.

Hiccup walked past them, still looking down and both Elinor and Fergus reached out to him but then seemed to think better of it. Hiccup's mind was occupied on his father at the moment, he needed this. When he returned, they would shower him with every hug and kiss they could muster.

Jack called to Toothless who followed faithfully behind them and to Jack's car.

Hiccup got in and buckled himself in, his hand's always touching the urn carefully. When Jack started the car, he could faintly hear Hiccup whisper, "Let's go Dad."

…

Jack never knew Hiccup's mother was buried just minutes away. Hiccup never really visited it much, he figured it was just too painful. Hiccup got out and Jack followed with Toothless close behind. Surprisingly, Hiccup knew exactly where his mother was buried and Jack couldn't help but smile at the adornment of flowers and candles surrounding her grave. Hiccup walked up to it and Jack decided to stay a little behind so he could watch from a distance while giving Hiccup his space.

Hiccup kneeled at the grave and smiled, "Hey Mom, I…I brought Dad to you."

Jack couldn't take his eyes off of Hiccup as he listened.

"I know…" Hiccup began, "I know you guys fought a lot and…and that what happened was an accident. I know that…things can't be redone but…I know how much you two loved each other and…how much you loved me so…I think it's right that you two be together."

He opened the lid to the urn and took a breath, "Dad…" He paused as though wanting the right kind of words, all he could say was, "I'm sorry, Dad. I wish I could have been your son longer."

His tears fell as he finally spread his father's ashes all around his mother's grave. When he'd finished he took one final breath and then wiped his eyes, "Thank you…for what you did, Dad…you let me go and you believed in me when I couldn't. I'll never forget that. I…I love you. I love you both."

Jack wiped his eyes on his sleeve and waited as Hiccup walked back towards him and took his hand with a small smile, "Okay."

"Okay." Jack nodded, squeezing his hand and leading him back to his house. Jack turned around to look over his shoulder and swore he felt a soft breeze come over them both, like a hug. If anything, it made him feel lighter somehow. He looked over at Hiccup who leaned in closer to him with a small smile on his face. Jack got them to the car and as Hiccup closed the door, he glanced once more out the window and for a moment pictured his father's face, smiling at him, happy and proud. Hiccup smiled and placed his hand on the window, "Thanks Dad."