As the hat was placed upon the stool, a tear opened, looking suspiciously like a mouth. It then began to sing, scaring the new first years.
A thousand years or more ago,
When I was newly sewn,
There lived four wizards of renown,
Whose name are still well-known:
Bold Gryffindor from wild moor,
Fair Ravlenclaw from glen,
Sweet Hufflepuff from valley broad,
Shrewd Slytherin from fen.
They share a wish, a hope, a dream,
They hatched a daring plan,
To educate young sorcerers,
Thus Hogwarts school began.
Now each of these four founders
Formed their own house, for each
Did value different virtues,
In the ones they had to teach.
By Gryffindor, the bravest were
Prized far beyond the rest;
For Ravenclaw, the cleverest
Would always be the best;
For Hufflepuff, hardworkers were
Most worthy of admission;
And power-hungry Slytherin
Loved those of great ambition.
While still alive they did divide
Their favourates from the throng,
Yet how to pick the worthy ones
When they were dead and gone?
'Twas Gryffindor who found the way,
He whipped me off his head
The founders put some brains in me
So I could choose instead!
Now slip me snug around your ears,
I've never yet been wrong,
I'll have alook inside your mind
And tell where you belong!
But wait young people, for I'm not done,
For as per generic ways,
I must tell a tale of doom and wisdom,
So each can scream or praise.
Despite the danger lurking around,
I know you people aren't dumb,
But listen well, or hear the bell,
For the danger will soon come.
But that is all from the sorting hat,
As author usually makes no sense
Towards the end of the poem anways,
F*ck it, you know the rest.
Happy sorting!
And with that, the slit closed, and became a hat once more.