Chapter Title: No specific quotations, but a nod to several ideas contained within the text. Most obviously (but not only) the final line.
Chapter Notes: It's probably obvious, but this scene takes place not long after the battle of the Citadel.
The idea of Shepard's First Rule is (very) vaguely inspired by Terry Goodkind's novel Wizard's First Rule-I'm not a die-hard fan of the entire series, but the first book is a must read!
There will be another brief statement of the even-more obvious at the end of this chapter...so as not to give away the punchline before you've read it.
"So...about this Spectre training of yours..."
"Shepard..." Garrus tensed, his gizzard lurching. "Are you trying to tell me this is a bad idea?"
Shepard shook her head violently, making her shaggy auburn hair sway and brush across her hardsuit collar. "No! Absolutely not. I think it's brilliant, actually. You'll make a damn fine Spectre—one of the best—and I will tell the Council as much—whether you like it or not."
Garrus chuckled, mostly nervous, but partly amused. "You can't seriously think I'd object to anything you said? I never fail to enjoy the things you can do with your mouth—Wait. I don't think that came out quite right. "
"It's just...I thought...I mean...I guess I mean...I hoped..." she sputtered the words, more agitated and uncomfortable than he had ever seen her, but, somehow, smiling. "Oh, damn it all to hell! Do you really want to leave the Normandy?"
"What? Of course not! Why would you even think—oh! Shit. Shit!" Garrus shifted on his feet, "I didn't realize..."
There was a long pause.
"I...uh...if that's what it takes, then...well..." He raised his head, unconsciously mimicking a gesture he'd seen her make time and time again.
Whatever it takes, no matter the cost, no matter the consequence. Their eyes met, the unspoken words hanging between them. They'd always understood one another. They were two of kind. Spectres.
Another, longer pause.
Shepard stopped, sighed, took a deep breath. Raised her chin and squared her shoulders as if preparing to make an important presentation to the Council. One she didn't expect to go particularly well...but maybe that went without saying, knowing the Council.
"Garrus, you didn't sign on to go chasing geth into all corners of the galaxy on the off-chance they might slip up and lead us to the Reaper Hive. You signed on to stop Saren—and you did. We did. That was enough—more than enough. I can't ask you to do it twice."
Garrus smirked. "Oh, really? Then why are we having this conversation, exactly?"
"Look, the thing is..." Shepardrubbed the back of her neck. "Spectres are known for working alone...but—you might have noticed—I prefer to be be part of a team..."
Their eyes met again, the look strong and solid. Unshakeable.
"If I could pick anyone in the galaxy to fly into the face of death on my wing it would be you, Garrus."
"Is that so, Commander? I thought you and Alenko..."
She blushed darkly. "Thought, my ass, Vakarian. You knew. We did—we are. Kaidan's...special. But I said anyone, and I meant anyone."
"Shepard...I'm...honored. Are you asking me to rejoin you after I'm instated? I hadn't realized that was an option."
"More than an option. A petition," she said without hesitation.
"Then just try and stop me," Garrus said with immediate, equal conviction.
"Garrus," she said earnestly, laying her gloved hand on his armored forearm, "if you want to go to training, don't let me stop you. Hell, I'll help you pack, but...if it wasn't necessary—training, I mean—would you..."
"Shepard..." He only realized what a large part of him had been tense—ever since Shepard had asked him what he saw himself doing after Saren was brought to justice—when it unwound, making his gizzard twitch and his heart do flips. "...are you saying..."
Garrus had assumed the question had implied a change Shepard thought inevitable, maybe even necessary...and he'd been willing to accept that, even if it was a change he didn't particularly want. But, if he'd known...if he'd realized... "...are you asking me to stay?"
She dropped her hand and stepped back as if reminding herself to keep her distance. Her cool voice cutting his agitation short, quick and clean. "Not if it means forfeiting your chance at being a Spectre." Again.
"I think that's really my call to make, isn't it, Commander?" He tilted his head back and to the side.
"Maybe" Shepard shrugged. "But I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt...and sooner or later, you might start to resent me. I really couldn't live with that." Her voice was sober, as serious as he'd ever it heard it, and she wasn't serious often. She'd made her decision, and it wasn't up for discussion.
Garrus felt a sudden, hot surge of frustration. Normally, he'd have been delighted by the compliment, but now all he could hear was her refusal to let him assess the situation and decide his own course of action. Her rejection.
"Then why question my departure—why make me question it?" he snapped. "I know you're the brilliant tactician who defeated Saren—and the geth, no less-but...you're not really making a whole lot of sense here."
She grinned wryly. "Shepard's First Rule: There's almost always more than one way to accomplish an objective. The trick is to pick the right approach. Remember how we met?"
Garrus bit down on the urge to ask her what objective she could possibly accomplish by tying his gizzard into knots and nodded.
"Why did I go to Dr. Michel's clinic? Why did you?" Shepard prompted, eyeing him like a teacher hoping her student is about to make a brilliant break-through.
Garrus hated to disappoint, but the answer to that question was far too limited to leave room for discovery. Garrus snorted. "Searching for dirt on Saren."
"Why?"
"He'd gone rogue and killed another Spectre...during what was supposed to be the Normandy's shakedown cruise on Eden Prime." Garrus had always prided himself on remembering the little details. They were so often of use, even if you couldn't predict exactly how or when that might be.
"And why was Nihlus—the other Spectre—on our shakedown cruise?"
"Because the mission was supposed to be one of several," Garrus' eyes widened, the plates on his forehead flaring slightly. "Assessing your suitability to become a Spectre."
Shepard grinned and clapped her hands together in satisfaction. "Remember what Anderson told us about his history with Saren?"
Garrus still didn't see exactly where this was going, but she'd never given him any reason to regret following her lead, and answering a few questions was quite a bit easier than most of things he ended up doing in her service. "His mission with Saren was supposed to—" assess his suitability to become a Spectre. The realization quaked through him like the tread of an approaching Colussus.
Shepard nodded vigorously. "Exactly."
"Well, I'll be damned." Garrus folded his arms across his chest, leaning back on his heels to regard her in bemused approbation. "Do you think the Council will agree?"
"If Saren, the geth, and Sovereign couldn't stand in our way, I doubt the Council could...not that I think they'd try. Right now, I imagine they'll agree to pretty much anything that might convince me and my big, inconvenient story to get our dirty hands off their false sense of security and disappear back into the Terminus systems like good little drones."
The corners of her mouth quirked, her semi-habitual wry grin struggling to reappear. "Plus, you know, I have a way with words..."
Aforementioned Statement: It's probably (also) obvious, but not mentioned outright, that Shepardand Garrus have just agreed to "ask" the Council to allow Garrus to train as a Spectre by accompanying Shepardon missions rather than through the more formal turian training program he had been planning to attend.
Sincere Request: Reviews and feedback are greatly appreciated!