SHTL Chapter 2- Sticking to Me: Part 1

I wake up with Ian's arms around me holding me to him with my hands overlapping his. Even in our sleep, we can't stay away from each other. I debated whether to stay in bed or try and move. After carefully moving, I'm free and head to the bathroom. I take a second to thank god for complimentary toothbrushes and toothpaste. I go upstairs when I finish the normal human routine. There's plenty of food but I wasn't hungry so I went on to the terrace. I let the coldness consume me as it reminded my body and mind that I could feel something other than sadness and guilt. I close my eyes and lean back on the wall relaxing every muscle possible pushing all thoughts out of my mind. It had been so long since I relaxed but this morning it came so easy. The fact that I knew the man I loved wasn't with another woman, worrying about me, or crying to sleep took part of the weight off my shoulders.

Just as I get use to the feeling of almost being completely at peace, I hear footsteps bolting up the stairs. I walk back inside to the sight of Ian in panic mode.

"What's wrong?"

He instantly relaxes when he sees me then pulls me into an embrace. "There you are."

I look up at him, "You thought I left?"

He kisses the top of my head then rests his chin on me, "Yes I did." Ian steps away looking at my entire body. "You always looked so beautiful in the morning."

I didn't know how to respond so I just let my blush speak for me. We stand there staring into each other's eyes until there's a knock on the door. I walk past Ian to the door and open it revealing Cheynne and Cody.

"Oh." They both said when they saw Ian and I's attire.

"It's not what you think we didn't bring anything with us so my only option was to wear his shirt."

"Why didn't you have sex?" Cheynne asked agitatedly.

"Uh we just didn't it didn't feel right to just jump right back in." Ian answered saving me.

Cody shook his head, "Well it would've felt better if y'all indulged into some great make up sex."

I sent daggers in his direction and he just shrugged his shoulders. "Why do you want us to have sex so bad?"

"You both love each other so much so why not just get back together?"

Ian and I glanced at one another, "It's more complicated than that," I mumbled.

There was an awkward moment of silence until Ian disturbed it. "So why are you here?"

"I wanted to tell Tiara that I'm going back to Louisiana with you and Cody."

"I thought you would it seemed like you missed him a lot," I said.

"You'll be fine alone?" Cody asked.

"Mhm I will survive."

"I'm not leaving her."

We all looked at Ian a little shocked. "Ian I will be fine."

"I know but I'm still not leaving you. I have two months to make up for." His tone of voice was as if he was talking about something else… it was the tone that I last heard on the night of my birthday. It sent shockwaves through my body making everything south of my waistline clench.

"Um don't you have a company to run?"

"Cody can handle it can't you Cody?"

"Mhm," He replied with a conniving smirk.

"Everything will be fine without me. We can stay here until we come to a decision about what to do about our relationship."

"I have nothing here though."

"I will take care of that don't worry you're pretty little head. So that's the end of it Cheynne and Cody are leaving and Tiara and I are staying."

"I guess we should get going babe," Cody said taking Cheynne's hand and walking out.

The intense staring picked up right where it left off. "Hungry?"

"Not really you?"

"Not so much." Ian gave me a salacious smirk as he strolled shirtlessly in front of me barely leaving an inch between us. "What do you want to do?"

"Um I… I…" With his bitten lip, it completely threw me off track. I couldn't help but think about pulling his lip out with my teeth as I'm straddling him. "Could you not do… that?"

"Do what?" His lip went under his grip again. He was completely oblivious at what he was doing I could tell he wasn't doing it on purpose.

I just wanted to be naked with him falling mercilessly into a mind-boggling orgasm with this man inside me. I needed to hear the groans that come from deep within his throat as I clenched around him begging for a release as I still pulled on his lip. When I finally returned to reality, I ran my thumb across his bottom lip releasing it. "Now I know how you feel when I bite my lip."

"Hmm then we must be feeling the same way right now." Ian tilted my head up as he leaned down and kissed me relieving only a fraction of the passion built up between us. Just like every other time he touched me, electricity ran through my body.

I was blushing so much when our lips disconnected. I couldn't hide my smile after getting what I wanted for so long. I looked up and Ian was smiling with me, "There's that smile I love so much."

"I think I know what I want to do now."

"Hmm and what is that?"

"I want to take a long warm bath."

"Then I will take a shower."

"Well I kind of wanted to take one with you,"

Ian smirked as he crossed his arms. "I think we can arrange that." He put out his hand and I took it then we walked downstairs through the bedroom to the bathroom.

"Shouldn't we get pajamas so we aren't freezing when we get out?"

"I got everything covered don't worry babe." He said running the water.

"Are you sure you can control yourself when I'm naked in front of you?"

"I will manage."

I stood there with my hands on my hips then turned around to put my hair up into a messy bun. I turned around to the sight of Ian completely naked.

"Whoa!" I covered my face with my hands.

"Like you haven't seen me naked before?"

"But… I… Gosh."

I could hear his smirk, "Hmm seems like a good reaction."

"It's just been awhile since I've seen… all of you."

"I'm in the tub now it's safe to look."

I peeked between my fingers, "Ian!"

He chuckled, "I couldn't resist you should've known I was lying since you know I love being naked."

"Oh just get in."

Once I heard the water move, I finally put my hands down. I walked over and when I saw Ian's raised eyebrow and smirk I realized what he had done. "I hate you."

"C'mon this isn't the first time I would've seen you naked."

"But I don't want to showcase my body all out in the open. I don't even like being completely naked for too long by myself."

"This was your idea hon. You knew we didn't have bathing suits laying around so take it off!"

"Ugh you could at least close your eyes! I covered mine."

"But you got a peek."

"Not by choice now close your eyes."

"Fine," he did as he was told.

"And turn your head towards the wall Mr. Sneakypants."

"You are so paranoid."

"I have to be around you." I quickly take off his shirt and my red thong. I sunk into the warm water on the opposite side of Ian then overlapped my legs on his. "You may now look."

"I shouldn't have put so much soap in the water."

"You are one horny man."

He gasped as if I were wrong, "Pfft me? Horny? Never just sexually frustrated."

I rolled my eyes and leaned my head back on the wall. I tried to find a happy place so that I would relax but it always came back to this bathtub. Ian and I both took a deep breath at the same time.

"I love how we're not those kind of people that are uncomfortable in silence."

"I would prefer silence over yelling."

"Most yelling…."

My head shot up with my widened eyes because I knew exactly what he was talking about I could feel my blush. "I never thought that I was a screamer," I mumbled.

"Oh you are." His famous smirk returned.

"So um how's the weather over there?"

"You're so adorable."

I shook my head blushing uncontrollably.

"So tell me the whole story about this." Ian brushed his fingers over the scar that was over my left ankle.

"Um the day of my mother's birthday I was being inducted into the National Junior Honors Society. The dumbass who planned it decided that it was a good idea to have it in the gym that was down a flight of stairs. I was five steps from the bottom and fell making my ankle pop out when I stood back up it popped back into place. I went maybe two days walking on a broken ankle the nurses and doctors were completely amazed that I wasn't crying. I had surgery the next day at two in the morning and got a rod and screw put in. I was in a wheelchair for about a month then that was the end of it until I get early arthritis."

"Well when that happens I will gladly carry you around whenever you need me I will even get you a little bell to summon me."

"I like the sound of that." I wanted to ask a question but I didn't want to kill the mood.

"I know we're going to have to talk about the future… our future and the status of our relationship."

"There you go again reading my mind. Ian are you mad at me at all for what I did?"

"I don't know here and there."

I knew he was mad at me or at least angry but was sparing my feelings. I figured the better way to talk about the subject was dry and clothed so I rose up from the water, "Here's your peek better enjoy it," I stepped out the tub and walked out the bathroom grabbing a white fluffy towel on my way.

After getting dry and dressed in my new pajamas, I laid back on the couch. I looked up at the ceiling preparing myself for the argument that I knew was about to happen. I felt Ian come in the room before I actually saw him. I got up and scooted back to one side of the couch leaving plenty of room between Ian and I. I couldn't think straight when he touched me and I figured he felt the same because he didn't object to the space.

"So what are we? Acquaintances, friends, best friends, fuck buddies, best friends that fuck, dating, engaged, or if you like married I can make that happen in two hours tops."

"Well I kind of guessed that we downgraded from engaged to exes that shared mutual hate."

"I could never hate you I hate what you did. You know what I want."

"Not necessarily."

"On your birthday I told you I would marry you right that second and that hasn't changed."

"But I don't think I'm ready for that even though that's what I want."

"I know which is why I would be happy with anything you choose as long as I don't have to live without you."

"I…I…" I couldn't stand to look into his eyes and say what I really thought. I looked down at my hands, "I think we should take a break and not really be anything more than just friends I guess."

"I think that we know each other too well to be acquaintances, love each other too much to be friends, we have too many feelings invested to be fuck buddies, but we have too many problems to get married so why not just be engaged?"

"Because we need to take a break. Wouldn't you rather wait a while instead of jumping right back into a situation that I can't handle and I end up walking out on you again?"

I could tell the thought angered him. Ian got up and ran his fingers through his hair, "Tiara you're making this way more complicated than it has to be. We spent two months without each other isn't that a long enough break?"

"I'm not being complicated I'm being rational trying to avoid any more hurt feelings."

"You not being with me hurts me."

"No you not having claim of me hurts you. I'm the one person that doesn't listen to what you say and that drives you insane so if we're not together I have absolutely no reason to obey you."

"Yes it pisses me the fuck off but what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Yell, scream, punch a wall something. Ever since my stupid mental breakdown, you tip toe around everything with me. I'm perfectly capable of handling myself."

"You shutting the world out and not showing any emotion towards anyone is your way of 'handling' yourself? You actually wonder why I always want you to listen to me?"

"And you actually wonder why I said we needed a break? Well look right now this is exactly what I was trying to avoid."

"You always want to avoid everything!" He practically yelled.

"How about you tone it down a notch?"

"No why in the hell should I listen to you if you won't listen to me? You wanted me mad so here you go this is what you fucking wanted!"

"I didn't want you mad but when you bottle it up its worse. I'm not a child I don't need to be protected I'm twenty-five I can handle the truth!"

"Oh you won't let me forget it!"

"Because you have to always be reminded! Is it sinking into your thick skull why I wanted you to go back to Louisiana? That right I didn't want you here but I know I'm stuck with you now until I go back and even if you had left I'm still stuck with you. Even if I wanted to leave you I couldn't!"

"You really expected me to leave you in all of your self-pity?"

I got up and looked up at Ian directly in his eyes, "Oh and you're the one to talk? You know if you're so angry leave then no one is begging you to stay around me and my self-pity. You're so pissed because you know that I would be fine without you. You need me to need you but I don't. You were so heartbroken because you knew that I had no intentions at all to come back. The day I walked out was the day I left Louisiana behind for good."

"I know you would've never came back but you would've been torturing yourself. Sorry I am determined to find the woman that I love but I know that is stupid of me because you're the one who walked out on me."

"I'm supposed to accept the fact that I'm uncomfortable on top of you having a mystery child?"

"He wasn't mine! I'm so sick of going through the same old bullshit with you. I have done everything in my power to make you see the good in you but maybe I was wrong maybe there isn't any good maybe I've wasted two years of my life on you."

"Okay fine that offer to leave me is still open. I'll be great all alone with my self-pity, bullshit, and evilness."

"You're so fucking crazy. I don't even know how to handle you anymore I could know every little thing about you but still not understand what goes on in your fucked up insane head."

We stood there toe to toe staring at each other in silence. "On second thought I'll leave."

"Just like you always do! What is it now three times?" Ian yelled to my back.

I opened the door and stood there. I couldn't take that step past the doorframe because I knew I would be right where I was before upset, lonely, and missing the only man I loved. I turned back around and slammed the door behind me sinking down to the floor with my back against the wall. Ian turned and looked at me running both of his hands through his hair.

"I seriously am crazy if I still love you." I choked out between sobs. When he finally saw how tore up I really was he started walking towards me.

"No don't fucking come any closer to me. I'm so tired of crying over you and not being able to turn off the feelings for you that just won't go away. After being called the one thing that upsets me by the man who knows what it does to me I still don't hate you. What will it take for me to stop being so damn stupid believing that we can make this work after all the bullshit you and I have been through separately then been put through together. You could hate my guts, cheat on me, then brag about it to my face and I would still love you. How pathetic is that? After a couple years of being alone the first guy who says they love me I fall hopelessly in love with." I end up crying so hard that it hurts and seems like it will never stop.

Ian comes closer despite what I said. He wraps his arms around me, pulls me in between his legs, then lays my head on his chest. "Just let it all out and I will be here the whole time." He kisses my forehead and rubs my back up and down.

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