"... And then it turns out she didn't even know that it'd been me who leaked the pictures and gave Jonatton information about how they're sleeping together and I just went and put my stupid, big foot in it! I mean, Dan didn't tell her! Can you believe that?! As if Dan wouldn't drop me in it if he had the chance. He's been trying to get me in trouble with our parents for years - for my entire life! - and now, when he has the perfect opportunity, he doesn't? Does that make any sense? Maybe he hit his head harder than they thought when he jumped out of that bloody window."
Pingu winced. He didn't really like people mentioning the window incident, but for a while it had been all anyone would talk about. Mostly they were talking about Dan, but it still made him nervous. He'd jumped out of that window twice and both times he'd thought he was going to die. It hadn't stopped him though, and he hated that he was such a coward that he'd rather fling himself out of a second floor window than face a real, dangerous situation.
He felt guilty too, because he'd broken his thumbs and nothing else the first time and done absolutely zero damage the second time, whereas Dan had gotten seriously hurt. And he wouldn't have followed Pingu out of the window at all if he hadn't seen him sitting on top of that van and thought he'd be fine as well. It was such a mess, and it made him nervous.
Then again, most things made Pingu nervous. Things like Claire Ashcroft pacing around his lounge room in nothing but her (quite small actually and with a tiny bow stitched on the front) underpants and a t-shirt she'd borrowed from his clean washing pile that was actually very tight on her, because she'd got out of the shower and realised that she didn't have any clean clothes left. Her hair was wet and dripping down her back a bit, making the t-shirt damp so that it stuck to her back and made the curve between her ribs and her backside more prominent. Things like that made Pingu very nervous indeed.
Claire was a very attractive person, even if most of the time she dressed like a woman much older and a few sizes bigger, she was considered massively hot by just about every man who met her, Pingu included. She was like the most perfectly rendered female action hero, like Wonderwoman or Lara Croft, but real.
He still couldn't quite process that they'd had sex earlier in the day, even though his bedroom smelt of it and his body had been shaky and tired for most of the evening because of it. It had been hard work, not being able to use his hands properly, but he'd tried to ensure that she had a good time, and didn't feel like he was just trying to get off with someone for the sake of getting off. He'd been told once that the important things to remember in sex were to make sure that the woman was properly prepared, that he never seemed like he was rushing her, that she had a minimum of two orgasms, and that he listened to all directions, especially when they were things like 'slow down', 'stop', and 'a little to the left'.
He'd memorised those directions but hadn't had much chance to practice and he'd been a bit nervous that he'd finish too soon or that Claire would decide halfway through that he was rubbish, but she hadn't and it'd been really nice, and she'd kissed him afterwards, and snuggled against him for ten whole minutes, which had never happened with anyone before. He wondered whether it would happen again, or whether it'd been a one off that he shouldn't talk about, but realised that right now he was supposed to be listening and wasn't doing a very good job of it.
"...I mean, he told our parents I was smoking pot when I was twelve just to see me get upset, knowing that they'd never take it seriously and that it was a lie, and now suddenly he's acting like, what? a martyr or something? He's just so frustrating! Don't you think?"
"Uh... yes? Yeah, definitely," Pingu stuttered and tried not to cringe when Claire narrowed her eyes at him.
"You don't have many opinions, do you, Harry?" she asked, crossing her arms.
"I do," Pingu nodded quietly, "just not about people, mostly. Usually just about, you know, video games and graphics and stuff."
He tried to look at her face and not at the exposed strip of skin where the t-shirt had ridden up when she crossed her arms. Claire had a nice stomach. Smooth and a bit round but firm too and when she stood like that he could see her hip bones, just peeking out. And her thighs, they were good. Strong and round and not as pale as he'd been expecting. He liked that her body was strong, but it made him feel a bit skinny in comparison. Maybe when his hands were better he'd try doing some exercise or something.
"Harry? Harry? Pingu!" Claire yelled and Pingu jumped and looked down at his socks so that he didn't get told off for staring at Claire's skin. It was distracting.
"Sorry. Yes, I think Dan's acting different. Maybe he's trying to be... better?"
Claire sighed and flopped down onto the sofa beside him.
"Maybe," she agreed. "Or maybe he just wanted me to dob myself in."
Pingu gave a little laugh and tried to hide it behind his hand but felt his breath catch in his throat when Claire leaned in and gently moved his hand away. She lifted it to her lips and Pingu watched, his mind blank and his breath still stuck, as she kissed his fingers with a tenderness he'd never had directed at him before. She gave him a look he didn't quite understand, then lowered his hand to her thigh, holding it there for several seconds before she started talking again, a little more softly than before.
"Now my mum wants a copy of the article so that she can 'see what she can do'. I swear that's her favourite thing to say. But how do I send her the article without her seeing the photos?"
"I can do that," Pingu spoke up, trying to sound more like a useful adult and less like a strangled puppy but then ruined it when Claire smiled at him and he made a weird squeaking noise, like a chew toy being stepped on.
"I knew there was a reason I kept you around," she said, with a warmth in her voice that Pingu wasn't sure he could really handle. "Well, that and, you know, other reasons too."
"Oh."
"Yeah. Mum also asked me if I had a boyfriend."
Claire was smiling but Pingu still felt himself begin to panic. It felt like someone was pressing against his sternum, like at school when he'd fall and one of the bigger boys would put a foot in the centre of his chest and press down until he started to cry from not being able to breathe properly. No one was pressing now but the pain was just as real, hurting all the way through his ribs and into his spine.
"Oh."
Claire huffed a breath through her nose but she was still smiling.
"I said yes," she said, resting her hand over Pingu's, which was still resting on her thigh. "I told her his name is Harry and he's an animator."
"Oh," Pingu said again, even though he knew that it was probably annoying. He looked down at his hand, and how close it was to those really quite ridiculously small pink underpants, and how soft and warm Claire's skin was, and how she seemed actually very happy to have his hand there. "That's me."
Claire's laugh was so sudden and loud it made him jump but instead of hitting him or something, which he'd been expecting, she kissed him instead.
"Of course it's you, you idiot," she told him, pressing soft kisses to his lips and pressing her hands against his thighs in a way that made Pingu's body respond a bit too quickly.
"I just didn't want to... assume?" he breathed, closing his eyes tightly as Claire began to kiss along his jaw like he was exactly what she wanted even though that seemed absurd.
"Yeah, well," Claire responded, pressing her lips to his ear. "Help me get that email off to my mum and we'll head back to the bedroom and I'll show you a trick I know."
"Oh, wow!" Pingu gasped as Claire pressed against him. He could feel the softness of her breasts and the hard bumps of her nipples and he tried to steady his breathing so that he didn't do anything embarrassing. "Thank you."
"Don't say thank you, Harry," Claire laughed. "Just kiss me for a bit. Then go work your computer magic, and then... we'll have sex."
"Wow," Pingu whispered again, but Claire gave him another one of those looks that meant he should shut up. So he did, and did what he was told instead.