A/N: So chapter 4 will have some major stuff happening and I was wondering would you rather have a short chapter 4 or an extra long chapter 4? I was thinking short so that Chapter 5 has all the same stuff together. Give me your opinion and this is another sad time for Tianers sorry:(
Chapter 3: Jeopardizing the Good: Part 1
I quickly dry my hair letting it flow down to my chest in waves. This reminds me of my first date with Ian all over again but it's obviously very different. Cheynne, Caitlyn, and Nina are sitting on my bed judging every outfit I show them. They keep telling me I need to dress even more down which I'm not sure is possible with everything that Ian has bought me. An idea hits me in the face and I run back into the closet.
I put on light denim daisy dukes, black Tromp Harness boots, black shoulder bag, and a black hat. I walk of the closet slipping on a white thin shirt with lace shoulders that run down to the middle of my arms With the addition of some turquoise jewelry and perfume I was ready to go.
All three of them are staring at me with wide eyes, "What you don't like it?"
"No we like it but um we didn't know you got a tattoo."
"…Did you see what it said?"
"Plain as day!" Cheynne says.
"I got really depressed one day from thinking about losing Ian forever so I went to get a tattoo. I didn't want anyone to see it especially him."
"How did I not see that before?"
"I'm good at angling my body right so you hate it?"
"No but you branded yourself for life!"
"I like it I think it's sweet and when Ian sees it he will like it too since he is so damn possessive it's worse with you," Nina says.
"It's perfect and you look perfect too perfect not to fuck tonight!" Caitlyn says.
"None of that will be happening anytime soon." I reply.
"Because she's too sore from this morning," Nina chimes in.
Cheynne and Caitlyn's jaw drop looking as if I just slapped them. "Nothing happened this morning or last night we just kissed once that's it!"
They all giggle and start repeating the mantra Tian is back together. I can't help but roll my eyes.
"Don't jinx it!" I say walking out the bedroom with them following.
Ian is sitting on the stairs rubbing his hands together looking oh so sexy but nervous. He gets up when he sees me standing in front of him. His chest is revealed in his unbuttoned white Henley shirt.
"Hi," He mumbles looking down at me.
"Hi," I mumble back.
I can hear my heart beating ridiculously fast prepared to explode when the most intense pair of blues skim over my body.
"You two look like twins!" Cheynne says with a big grin.
I hadn't even looked out his outfit being mesmerized by his eyes. Ian was wearing more of a casual Christian Grey look like the one in London but this time he wore jeans.
"We didn't plan it," I reply.
"It's cute, best friends that match." Nina says.
"I don't know about myself but she is the cutie," Ian replies looking at me and smiling.
"You are very adorable Ian," I reply.
He bites his lip, "I guess we should be on our way."
Nina kisses him on the cheek and hugs me, "Have fun you crazy kids!"
Ian takes my hand and walks me out to his repaired Audi R8 and opens the passenger's door for me to climb into.
I turn to him and say, "Can I drive?"
"Hmm sure," He walks around to the other side, my hand in his, and opens the door.
"Thank you kind sir," He nods and with absolute grace walks around to the other side.
I start the car and an indie soft rock sound gently flows through the air, "I'm not your money man. A thin coated satellite and you wouldn't leave me, would you dear? Not tonight. We see your back and forth. Fear in the company now put some fear in the company now. Don't lose your cold dear fear in the company now, keep it right…."
"Where to?" I ask pulling out the driveway. Ian doesn't answer so I glance over at him and he looks as if he has seen a ghost. He is staring blankly at the rotating letters that say The Gaudy Side of Town by The Gayngs.
"Ian?"
He continues to stare not reacting to anything. I pull over, take off my seatbelt, and turn in my seat towards him. "What's wrong?"
He still doesn't answer so I place my hand on his chin softly turning his head so he will face me rather than the dashboard. Ian's eyes are wide with fear glistening from unshed tears. "Ian please answer me."
After stopping the song, "I… I was… I thought I… I saw you… I…."
"Hey calm down everything is alright take a second to calm down," I have never seen Ian so distraught.
He takes a deep breath, "I was in a car accident and that song was playing. I woke up with glass everywhere and blood running down from my head. I was on the ground staring up at the sky unable to find energy to move as pain shot through me. Then some guy with short brown hair and tan skin appeared over me. I see his mouth moving but I can't remember what he said it's as if I have forgotten how to comprehend English. The last thing I remember is saying to tell her I'm sorry."
Oh my god he remembers the accident and Dylan.
"Tiara who was I talking about and why was that guy hitting me with a baseball bat?"
"Um I don't know… I don't know."
"Is that why you wanted to drive because I got in a car accident?"
I nod my head not being able to tell if he is overwhelmed, angry, or both.
"Why didn't you tell me? Why don't you tell me anything?" He practically yells making me jump.
"Um I…."
"You're so fucking frustrating sometimes! You're not always right you don't always know best!"
It was like a dagger to my heart when he repeated the words that he said to me in the last argument we had. I put my seatbelt on then get back onto the road with tears slowly running down my cheeks.
"Tiara I'm so sorry I didn't mean to go off on you I just remember how I felt and I guess it made me feel the same way now."
I don't reply and just continue to where I think we should go. The rest of the car ride is silent with Ian occasionally glancing at me but I continue to drive keeping my eyes on the road. I pull up to Fontainebleau State Park parking right in front of the beach. I take off my shoes and socks wanting to feel the warm sand between my toes.
Luckily, we are the only two here so I sit down and stare at the water moving back and forth. Ian sits down next to me with his shoes in hand but throws them to the side.
"About what happened earlier I-"
"No its fine. Do you remember what happened before the accident?"
"Not really just being angry and walking out the house I don't even know why I was angry or who made me that way."
"What stuff have you remembered?"
"Um meeting you on TVD, taking you to the airport, uh taking you to dinner after work, carrying you off a plane, how you look in a bikini, you on my lap as we sit on a patio, then that's when everything gets blurry. I remember playing Saints Row I think with you, talking to E.L. James, you kissing another guy in front of me, Tyler Hoechlin giving me a ring, and then a plane taking off as I stand next to some woman in the airport."
Wow he remembers a lot, "Oh okay that's good seems like you almost remember everything."
"Tiara can I ask you a rather personal question?"
"Go ahead."
"Have we ever… you know… had sex?"
"…What makes you ask that?"
"I see these flashes of my hands all over a woman's body me kissing her everywhere and feeling really good while hearing…." He looks back out to the water.
"Hearing what?"
"A girl moaning… a girl that sounds like you."
"Oh."
"Yeah so is that a yes?"
"Uh we went through this phase of being friends with benefits but were afraid of losing our friendship if we were to take it further."
"Wow well the way you made me feel I would marry you."
I turn my head so fast I almost break my neck, "You don't mean that."
"Well based on what I know the only reason that your name isn't Somerhalder is because you were already engaged. Tell me about your fiancé."
"His name is Christian he's about 5'10" with light brown blondish hair naturally with probably the most beautiful pair of eyes ever. We had been dating for maybe three months since we made it official on September 14. On my birthday, November 8, he popped the question on the observation deck of the Space Needle in Seattle, WA where we spent our first night together. Literally the day after everything fell apart because his ex-girlfriend came to our house claiming that her little boy was his. I automatically believed her since he was the spitting image of him so I packed my stuff and left because I thought that was the best thing for everyone. A month later we run into each other at a masquerade ball in London. It was weird because without even looking at each other's faces we knew that we were together. Just his touch sends electricity though my body it's one of the best feelings in the world. We got back together a couple days later and flew to New York after being in Europe for a month. We started having trust issues which led up to the- me being kidnapped after an argument we had. I lost him that day."
"Now that's love. That's amazing only three months together and you already know that's who you want to spend the rest of your life with. I want love like that a love that consumes me and you obviously want that."
"Hmm what exactly do I want Mr. Somerhalder?"
He turns and pulls me on to his lap and puts his knees back up turning into my personal chair. "Well Ms. Green you want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger. To explore different parts of yourself and different emotional lives… not to hide from who you are but to actually explore who you are. I want you to get everything you are looking for."
"Where do you think that I will find all of that?"
"With me."
My heart flutters all I want is to say be with me baby forever and always but I can't. "Ian you are with Nina and how can we be together when you don't remember everything we have been through. I don't want to keep relieving the same good and bad memories by myself."
"It kills me that I can barely remember you from before the day you came into my hospital room. I know that what we had was special that with no one else I could get what we had that's why it pisses me off so much that you won't just tell me what happened."
"From my point of view, I don't want to tell you what happened if that's what made you love me. If you loved me before you should be able to love me all over again without being told that's the right thing. I don't want to feel compelled to be in a relationship because of what happened in the past. You've changed, not drastically but you're different. Your interests might have changed too so I want you to be happy no matter what. If you're happy with me great but if you're happy with Nina that is perfectly fine. Me telling you what happened is like me trying to sway your vote. You have feelings for me but also for Nina right?"
Ian nods his head engulfed by what I'm saying. "Exactly I don't want to make you feel one way if that is not what is right for you and only you." I place my hand on his heart, "Don't let me guide you or anyone else let this right here make the decision."
He puts his hand over mine, "I want you I want more moments like this. Nina told me that all the things I forgot are mostly about you. I know I must've forgotten something so big if you are willing to love me for the rest of your life without being able to call me yours. I love you and I'm willing to fight tooth and nail for what we had for every last second of the memories that I lost." Ian tucks a lone strand of hair behind my ear, "You love me," He whispers.
I take a deep breath, "Yes," I whisper. "I do."
"Then be with me baby let me make you happy while you make me happy. Let's have a blissful life together take this world by storm I can give you everything that your heart desires and all my heart desires is you."
My lip quivers trying to control the tears but I lose it, "I can't do it. I can't lose you again I'd rather give you up knowing you'll be happy and unharmed. If I lose you again I will be crushed I will die I can't take anymore loss in my life. I can't pretend that the man I fell in love with is right by my side. You deserve so much better than me it pisses me off to think that you've gotten stuck in some magical web that I didn't even know I had. I'm trying to push you away I don't want you to make the same mistake of being with me, investing time in me, or thinking that I can give you what you need. I can't handle knowing that I will hurt you I know I will because I'm hurting you now I can't do the simplest of things. I can't even get knocked up right I don't want to lose you all over again I already lost our child…." By the time I finish tears are streaming down my face.
I look up at Ian and he looks as if he has just been punched in the gut. He looks away looking at everything but me. I knew this would happen I knew it would be unforgiveable. I get up and drop the keys next to him in the sand. I walk down to the main street barefoot then slip my shoes on when the car pulls up.
"I'm sorry to have called you I knew everyone else was busy," I murmur putting my seatbelt on.
"It's fine. Do you want to talk about it?" Chace asks pulling off into traffic.
"You're probably the perfect person to talk to actually. You love Luke right?"
"Yeah he's amazing why do you ask?"
"What if instead of meeting him Ashley told you that she had a miscarriage? How would you feel?"
"Um well I don't know I would be upset and angry not necessarily at her but at the situation."
"What if you wanted kids badly like you had been waiting for years for the perfect woman to come along and you find her but she loses the baby?"
"I'm not sure I guess I would question myself. Question if I was meant to be a father, if I was meant to be with that woman, if it were meant for us to have children, if it were the wrong time, or if I had waited too long or not long enough. Why are you asking all of this?"
"I didn't release to the public that I was pregnant."
"Wow how far along? Does Ian know it is his well I assume it is his?"
"I had a miscarriage the day I went to the hospital when I woke up I was all clean everything had been um released from my body. You obviously know that everyone has been pretty much lying to him upon my request. After just two days we were getting close all over again and after two times of not being able to work our shit out I figured it was pointless to jump back in for a third try. Today we planned to go out and try to get to know each other again well him get to know me again. I decided to drive since the last time he was behind the wheel he got in a wreck. I guess the same CD was in that was playing when he got in the accident and it caused him to remember most of what happened to him. Ian went off a little bit making me a tiny bit scared at how angry he was at me for not saying anything. I drove to the beach and we started talking about what he remembered. Ian started to talk about being mine and you have no idea how bad I want him but I didn't want to hurt him again I didn't want to take the chance of losing him. While telling him that I admitted that the child I lost was also his. My worst fear of him being completely disgusted with me came true he couldn't even look at me after I told him. I left the keys there and called you."
"Nobody knows what he is truly going through but you are the closest. He has wanted a child for a long time its one of the reasons why him and Nina broke up because she wasn't ready. In my opinion I think he feels cheated and robbed of something he has prayed for. His emotions are all over the place and overlapped he is already confused. He was shocked when he was told there was a possibility that he was the father of Luke. I don't know if he remembers that but I'm sure he feels the same, cheated and robbed. I understand your reasoning that you don't want to hurt him and that you don't want to force yourself upon him but you're eventually going to have to give the man what he wants. You might think that you are doing what is right but didn't you think that when you ran off to London? You were completely wrong that whole situation could've been avoided with a simple conversation. I don't think Ian hates you I'm sure that it's impossible but he is probably mad at you. You withheld something from him that was so precious so sensitive how do you expect him to react? I'm not just blaming you and I'm not just blaming him you both have a part in this. Tiara you need to learn how to let people be there for you, let them have some input on decisions you make for them, and how to let people in. Everything will work out with you and Ian no matter what happens or your relationship status."
I drag my fingers through my hair a habit I picked up from Ian, "I'm going to move out."
"I knew you would say that," Chace says with a smile.
"So that's where you are taking me? To go house shopping?"
"Nope I know the house you want its perfect."
"Can you at least tell me where it is?"
"Slidell it's about thirty minutes from Mandeville and thirty minutes from Covington."
"Hmm thirty minutes from my problems sound great."
So Tiara and Ian are drifting further apart:( It may seem like he is going to let her move out but c'mon you know my real life Fifty won't give up without a fight. Don't forget to mention what you think about a longer or shorter chapter 4! Review, follow, favorite, suggestions, questions! Please and thank you:)