Here's the next chapter. Whether you like it or hate it, please review! My mom's been off the writing scene for awhile and reviews make her feel like she' a writer once again. Thanks for all the support so far, guys- you've helped my mom through rough times when she lacked self confidence.Chapter 6
"Time for your bath," I say.
"No way," Joe says. "Your shower has all those grab bars for old people."
"Don't care," I say and turn on the water in the tub.
"Smells like old people," Joe mumbles.
"You smell like old people," I say. "You need help getting undressed?"
"Dude, you wouldn't," Joe says.
"Try me," I say.
I shut the door and leave.
Twenty minutes later, Joe emerges. He smells better. "What do you want for supper?" I ask.
"Pizza," Joe says.
"Chicken noodle soup?" I ask.
"No pizza, no medicine," Joe says.
"Doctor didn't clear it," I say.
"Don't care," Joe says.
When Joe gets like this, there's no reasoning with him. Everything else is out of Joe's control. Pizza I can do.
I dial Prito's pizzeria.
"Tony, it's Frank. I need a large cheese pizza."
"Pepperoni," Joe says.
"With pepperoni," I say.
"Onions," Joe adds.
I hand Joe the phone.
"Hey, Prito. Gimme a large pie with everything except ham, pineapple, peppers and anchovies."
"Yeah, I'm good. I'm at Frank's so watch out for old people," Joe says and hangs up.
He feels his way along the wall into my bedroom.
"What's going on?" I ask.
"Need a pillow," Joe says and keeps a hand on the wall. He feels my headboard and grabs a pillow off my bed.
I cringe. Framed photos of Callie sit on my desk, nightstand and entertainment center.
Joe can't see them. Can you feel guilty and relieved at the same time?
Joe touches a figurine on my nightstand – a bride and groom figurine.
"Dude, you kept the statue Callie got you for your birthday?" Joe asks as he feels it with his fingers.
I grab it quickly.
"Thought you were going to pass out when you unwrapped it," Joe says.
"It was a surprise," I say and put it in my closet.
"Callie didn't realize how much you hate being pushed," Joe says.
"Thank you, Dr. Phil," I say and guide Joe to the living room couch.
"Any word on the chain?" Joe asks, as his hand feels his bare neck.
"Not yet," I say. "But I posted signs at the hospital. Took out an ad in The Bayport News. Even offered a reward."
I offered a $1,000 reward, but Joe doesn't need to know that.
"Sorry," Joe mumbles.
"For what?" I ask.
"Maybe Callie would still be here if we weren't a package deal," Joe says.
"I made my choice," I say.
"You didn't have a choice," Joe says. "You were caught between me and Callie."
"No, I was caught between the life Callie wanted me to live and reality," I say. "Detectives don't work regular hours. I've never wanted to be anything else."
"Frank, you've been miserable the past year," Joe says.
"I wasn't expecting Callie to break up with me," I say.
"Yeah, but I knew you were hurting," Joe says. "Just didn't know what to do."
"You put up with me," I say. "That was a lot."
"S'okay," Joe says.
Desperate to change the subject, I turn on ESPN. While Joe listens to sports news, I unpack the duffel bag of Joe's stuff that Sam packed.
I turn the bag upside down to make sure I didn't miss anything. A book falls onto my hardwood floor.
A Bible?
I pick it up. A picture of Joe and Iola bookmarks a passage underlined in red ink.
A real friend will help you against your enemies and protect you in the fight. Never forget such companions in battle. Sirach 37: 5&6
Under the passage Joe wrote one word: Frank.
A paper falls to the floor.
I know this is Joe's private stuff. Stuff he might have told me if I hadn't shut down. I've got no right to read it, but I can't stop myself.
I Love You regardless of how well you are performing. Sometimes you feel uneasy, wondering if you are doing enough to be worthy of My Love …Your performance and My Love are totally different issues…I love you with an everlasting Love…without limits or conditions...Bring your performance anxiety to Me, and receive in its place My unfailing Love. *
Joe's handwriting fills the rest of the page.
God, how can You love me after I let Iola die? When I make so many mistakes at work? Scared I'm losing my mind. Every morning my nerves are shot. I throw up before leaving for work. How can You love me when I don't even love myself?
I swallow hard and put the page back.
My doorbell rings.
"I'll get it," I say.
I open the door to find Tony and Mr. Green on my doorstep.
"Franklin, you do remember our Home Association rules specify no food deliveries?" Mr. Green says. "It makes our condos seem rather common."
Tony's face is a dangerous shade of red.
"Sorry," I say and pull Tony into my condo. "I forgot. My mind has been on other things."
"I'm still writing you up," Mr. Green says.
I shut the door.
"Friendly neighbors," Tony says. "Joe, how ya doing?"
"Better, if that smell is a Prito special," Joe says.
"Here you go," Tony says.
"Hold it," I say. "Medicine first."
Joe swallows three pills.
"Sorry about the old guy," Joe says, before I can apologize.
"S'okay," Tony says. "I feel bad for them. They don't stand a chance against Joe. Pizza is on the house. Got to make some more deliveries. Rest up, Joe."
"I'll walk you to the door," I say.
"How you holding up?" Tony asks when we're outside.
"Hanging in," I say.
"Saw Joe the day you guys left for Europe," Tony says.
"You guys had lunch?" I ask.
"No. I drove by the cemetery," Tony says as his pager goes off. "Saw Joe at Iola's grave. Call me if you need anything, OK?"
I watch Tony drive away.
Joe was at Iola's grave before we left for Europe. That's why he didn't pack. Iola was the "female friend" he had to visit. I am the world's worst brother.
When I walk in my condo, three pieces of pizza have disappeared. Joe's eyes are half closed, but he's fighting to stay awake.
"Wanna sleep in my bed," Joe mumbles.
"Not happening," I say. "Any deep, dark secrets I need to know? You still wet the bed?"
"Was three years old," Joe mumbles.
"Just checking," I say.
"Hate these pills," Joe mumbles. "No idea what I'm saying."
"So no different from usual," I say.
He doesn't complain when I ruffle his hair, so I know Joe is out of it. Joe isdefinitely not operating any heavy machinery on these pills.
"All I had left of Iola," Joe mumbles as his hand touches his empty neck.
"We'll find the chain," I say.
Tomorrow I'll call the paper and make the reward $5,000.
"It kinda saved my life," Joe mumbles.
"Kind of?" I ask.
"Almost did something stupid after Iola died," Joe mumbles.
Joe's under the influence of drugs, but I need to know. After Iola died, I worried I'd lose Joe. But Joe would never talk about her death. I wasn't losing this chance.
"What happened?" I ask, desperate to find out before the drug knocks Joe out.
"M' birthday," Joe mutters.
I swallow hard. Joe disappeared on his birthday after Iola died. I had the worst feeling. I couldn't find him. I called everybody, even Biker. Spent the night driving the streets. "Dead Man's Cliff," Joe mutters.
"Really?" I ask and struggle to keep my voice calm.
Every year somebody jumped from Dead Man's Cliff – a 150 foot drop over jagged rocks. I'd almost lost my brother.
"Gonna jump," Joe says. "Felt Iola's cross around my neck."
Thank God for Iola. She'd saved him even after she died.
"Funny," Joe mumbles. "Didn't remember putting chain on."
Ok, first thing tomorrow I call the newspaper. Somebody would definitely turn in the chain for $10,000, right?
"Chain keeps me out of trouble," Joe mumbles.
"I'll find it," I say and pray I'm not lying.
"Don't want you to know," Joe mutters.
"Know what?" I ask and rub Joe's shoulders.
"Nightmares," Joe mumbles.
Surprised it's this easy.
"Everyone has nightmares," I say. "I had one at the hospital last night of my car blowing up."
"Deductible that high?" Joe mutters.
"No, I thought my annoying little brother was in my car," I say. "They're hard to replace."
"You really have nightmares?" Joe whispers.
"Yes. Nightmares are an occupational hazard for us," I say. "Now go to sleep. The last thing I need is you sleep deprived and cranky tomorrow."
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From Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, April 19th devotional