Gundam Wing: Journey to a New Battlefield

by operation meteor

The war is won, yet he cannot find peace. When a mission gone wrong throws Heero into another world, how will he survive? And how will he react when he is confronted with his greatest challenge yet? For love can be trickier than any battlefield foe...

20. Chapter 20

Author's notes: For those of you that thought that just because this chapter's focus was romance meant it would be a short one… well, you really haven't been paying attention to this fic, especially with regard to the attention and care I've given my main pairing. It's true that this episode is shorter than the last few I've done, but it still weighs in at 85 pages.

Moving on, in the canon Gundam Wing Heero stood at about 5'1". I've had him grow a couple inches since then, he now stands at 5'3" to Murrue's 5'6". The height difference was really something I should've pointed out a long time ago, but it hasn't really affected the story… until now.

Warning out front, some of the content latter on in the chapter pushes the boundaries of the Teen rating. It's nothing explicit, but… well, I had to be very careful when writing in order to achieve the balance I was able to get in those delicate scenes. In other words, suggestive-themes abound, though I think I've still managed to keep to this fic's Teen rating.

Lastly, song list for the chapter, in order of appearance: "Fields of Gold", by Sting, "Eternity ~ Memory of Lightwaves" from the Final Fantasy X-2 soundtrack, and "Prologue" from the Ace Combat Zero soundtrack.

Enjoy!

Episode Twenty: The Eve of Battle

The meeting had officially ended a few minutes ago, but no one had left the conference room yet. Rather, everyone had broken off into small groups, both to discuss mission details and to exchange simple small talk and catch up with each other. Murrue and Heero were no exception, and the two of them had gotten up from their seats at the large table and settled in on the first row of the smaller chairs than ran along the rim of the chamber.

Murrue could once again not take her eyes off of her dear companion and guardian, though this time it was not just because of the handsome figure he cut in his Sanc Kingdom uniform. The Gundam pilot was still very much a calm and collected young man, but Murrue could now sense grim resolve exuding from him as well. That quiet, solemn determination had hung around Heero since he had volunteered to destroy the Avalon battle-station, and it had Murrue worried to no end. She was so used to seeing him carry himself with cool confidence, but now there was a slight sense of anxiety surrounding the young man. It was subtle, and Murrue doubted anyone else had noticed it, but she had; after all, she knew him better than all the others.

He's fully aware of what will be required of him, she thought, Heero does not shy away from long odds; he faces them head on. It's a true testament to his bravery and strength, but it also means that he does not even try to delude himself about what he goes up against. He homes right in on the cold hard facts of the matter, and in this case that's the sheer strength of the Avalon battle-station and the overwhelming numbers in its supporting forces. Yes, the Line it anchors holds the least amount of warships, but there are still roughly two hundred of them, and combined with their own mobile suits and the 300 GINNs carried by the fortress they form a force that rivals anything Heero's faced before, if not surpass it. And all that isn't even counting what he must do next; enter the PLANT capitol and extract Rehema's parents. The task he has put upon himself is one of monumental proportions, and that is a truth that Heero will not shy away from. His courage and tenacity allow him to be brutally honest with himself at times when other pilots would delude themselves about the truth. However, because Heero faces that truth head on, it means the full weight of it is on his shoulders.

"Heero," she said softly, gently grabbing his hand, "about what I said earlier, about not wanting you to take on Avalon… it's not that I doubt that you can do it. I know just how incredible a pilot you are, and my faith in you abilities is absolute. It's just… I'm afraid for you, Heero. I know I've said this before, but I can't help fearing for your safety every time you go into battle, and the raid on the PLANT capitol will be the riskiest operation we've ever attempted. I still believe in you, I truly do, it's just…"

"I know, Murrue," Heero replied, and she was surprised to see a small, knowing smile appear on his face as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "I know that you have faith in my skills, and that means a lot to me… and so does your concern for my safety. When you spoke up on my behalf, arguing against the role Waltfeld wanted me to play in the operation… I was grateful, Murrue, and I still am. No one's ever cared about me the way you do, not even Relena. I… I've never known anyone like you. Thank you, Murrue."

Murrue felt a familiar surge of heat rush to her face, and could only hope that she was not blushing as fiercely as she thought she was. Hearing the incredible young man next to her speak of her in such a manner caused her heartbeat to quicken considerably, and she had to work to keep her composure, to keep the passion and affection she held for him from manifesting in an overt fashion.

I'm not sure how much longer I can hold back these feelings for him, she thought to herself, this attraction… this love… it's stronger than anything I've ever felt before. Keeping it bottled up like this, unable to truly share my feelings with him… it actually hurts, more so than I thought something like this could.

Her chat with Dr. Claudia back in the infirmary, while Heero had lain unconscious before her, had helped her considerably in overcoming most of the lingering reservations she's had regarding her affection for the Gundam pilot. The most considerable hurdle, the age gap between them, was no longer as great a concern for her as it had been before, and the counselor's belief that Heero felt something for Murrue as well had done much to reassure her that her feelings for him weren't wrong… but not knowing for certain, not hearing it from the young man that had captured her heart, still left a small bit of doubt hovering at the back of her mind. Murrue was torn between confessing her feelings to Heero and waiting a little longer for him to do the same. On the one hand, the last thing she wanted to do was pressure him in any way, especially in light of his non-existent romantic experience… but keeping the burning passion she had for Heero locked up in her chest was becoming harder and harder to do with each passing day, and that struggle was now exacerbated by the knowledge that, within a few days, the man she loved would be flying into battle against odds that even he acknowledged would be a challenge for him to overcome.

Doing her best to impose some measure of calm on the storm of emotions whirling within her, Murrue smiled at Heero, hoping that her blush was not too obvious. "Of course I care for you, Heero. After all you've done for me and my crew, how could I not? Even without that, you and I know each other very well now. You entrusted me with the knowledge of your past, including your worst memories, and I did the same for you. Only people who have a strong bond between them would do something like that." She grabbed the blue stone of the necklace that hung around her neck and held it up before him. "You gave me this as a token of that bond, to show me just how much you value the connection we've forged, how important our friendship is to you. I value it just as much as you do, Heero. You are… my dearest companion."

Murrue resisted the temptation to sigh in relief; she had barely caught herself in time to adjust her sentence and keep from uttering what her heart was urging her to say.

You are… the man I love.

Murrue was surprised to see Heero's eyes widen ever so slightly at her words, and she could've sworn there was the faintest hint of red in his face. "Murrue…" he said, "I… I feel the same way. You're… the most important person in my life."

Murrue couldn't help but notice the hesitation in Heero's voice. It was as if he, like her, was forcing himself to say something different than what was in his heart. Is he feeling this same pressure that I am?, she thought, His feelings towards me… are they as strong as mine for him? Are we both holding back the same passion, the same affection? Oh, this is driving me crazy, not knowing for sure, being torn like this…

"I can certainly believe that," said a familiar female voice, causing both parties to jump slightly in their seats. Murrue and Heero turned to see Lacus Clyne standing in front of them, and she was shocked to realize that she had not noticed the songstress approaching them; she'd been so focused on Heero and the feelings she held for him.

"Miss Clyne…" said Murrue, another blush coming to her face. How much had the girl overheard?

Lacus bowed her head to both of them. "I'm sorry, it was not my intention to startle you, nor eavesdrop on you. Please forgive me."

Murrue smiled at the girl. "It's alright, Miss Clyne."

Heero nodded. "Don't worry about it. We didn't see you coming over."

Lacus smiled at them. "Thank you, both of you."

"If I may ask, Miss Clyne," said Murrue, "just how much of our conversation did you hear?"

"Only the end, Captain Ramius," Lacus replied, smiling, "I think it's wonderful that you two care so much for each other. You've obviously become dear friends since we all met so long ago."

Murrue nodded and looked over at Heero as she spoke. "Yes… Heero and I have been through a lot together since that day. His friendship and support have given me the strength I need to lead my crew, to help them survive through all our struggles. I owe him a debt that I can never repay."

Heero shook his head, a small smile on his face. "You don't owe me anything, Murrue. I promised that I would protect you, and that's a vow I will never break. From the moment we met you've given me a place to stay and get my bearings in an unfamiliar world, and you've show me nothing but kindness throughout our journey. If anything, I'm the one that has a debt to repay."

"My father had a saying," said Lacus, causing the two of them to look at her, "he believed that, to quote him, 'there are no real debts between true companions'. I think that phrase fits the two of you perfectly." She smiled at them again. "Each of you feels that they owe the other something, but that is not the case; both of you act without any thought for yourselves, both in your friendship and this war. I am not mistaken, am I?"

Murrue looked over at Heero and saw that the Gundam pilot had a slightly bemused expression on his face. Their eyes met, and they both turned back to Lacus and smiled slightly. "No," said Heero, "you are not, Lacus."

"Indeed," said Murrue, "your insights are truly amazing, Miss Clyne."

"Thank you, Captain Ramius," the songstress replied, "when you are the daughter of a high ranking public official, you quickly learn the value of perception. You learn to see whether or not people are being genuine in their interactions with you, if they care about you as a person or as a means to an end. I have the gift of being able to read the intentions and motivations of people, whether they be friend or foe. Perhaps some of this is also due to my former public role; as a singer I dealt with people who saw me as many things other than myself. I had to learn to discern who truly cared about me and who simply sought to use me."

"It is a gift that you have clearly honed," said Murrue, "your perception is remarkable, Miss Clyne." Murrue's words were genuine, but there was also a slightly unsettled feel behind them as the beautiful Captain wondered if Lacus suspected that her feelings for Heero ran much deeper than simply a strong friendship.

If Lacus noticed her muted uneasiness, she gave no sign of it. "I appreciate your praise, Captain Ramius. My father felt the same way, though at times I thought he was simply doting on his daughter."

"Fathers seldom need an excuse to do that," said Murrue softly, "Miss Clyne… I am sorry about what happened to your father. I realize my condolences come late and may offer little comfort, but you have them all the same."

"Mine as well," said Heero, nodding, "from what I've heard about him, it sounds like he was a good man. I'm sorry for your loss."

Lacus nodded, her smile becoming bittersweet. "Thank you, both of you. I… I wish he could've met you two; I think you would've gotten along quite well."

Murrue nodded. "I have no doubt of that, Miss Clyne." A somber silence fell between the three of them for a few seconds, and Murrue realized she needed to change the direction of the conversation in order to take Lacus's mind away from the tragic loss she had suffered. "Miss Clyne, if I may ask, what brought you over here in the first place? Is there something you need from Heero and me?"

Lacus's eyes widened for a moment before she responded. "Oh, of course, Captain Ramius. I actually wanted to speak with Heero. Given that he is from another world, I was hoping to get his perspective on a few important issues. Please, forgive me for any rudeness, but may I speak to him in private?"

It was a question that Murrue had not expected to hear, and her eyes narrowed ever so slightly as she studied Lacus's face. Her territorial instincts regarding Heero were once again coming into play, and Murrue was a little uneasy with Lacus's request. However, as she looked at the pink-haired songstress Murrue was struck by the sense of gentle sincerity she found in her pale cerulean eyes. There was no hint of any kind of desire towards Heero in the girl's expression. It was hard for Murrue to understand why she felt this way, but her heart was telling her that Lacus was being honest with her. The songstress had a very open feeling about her, as though she was trying to show Murrue that she had no designs on the young man that she had fallen in love with.

And there was her earlier behavior with Kira, Murrue mused, when he held her in the corridor. Granted, she just lost her father and is still grieving in her heart, but still, the way he held her, the way she threw herself at him… Murrue also recalled how Kira had mentioned that, during his time in the PLANTs, Lacus had hardly left his side, and had gone to great lengths to care for him and facilitate his recovery. Her heart may already belong to Kira, she thought, the signs are there, certainly.

Last but certainly not least there was Murrue's own faith in Heero. His behavior during their arrival in the Eternal's hangar bay had impressed her as she had watched the Perfect Soldier calmly and coolly handle the bevy of women that had approached them as they had departed the shuttle, and he had shown no sign in returning the flirting from the Valkyrie girls. That, combined with Dr. Claudia's belief that Heero held feelings for her along with her own suspicions, her own hopes regarding the young man, was enough for Murrue to put her heart at ease. She could trust Heero with Lacus; she would trust him with her.

Murrue nodded and smiled. "Of course, Miss Clyne. I'll leave you two alone for as long as you need."

Lacus smiled in return. "Actually, Captain Ramius, I was going to ask Heero to follow me to this ship's officers' lounge. It's still rather noisy in here, and I wanted to talk with him in peace."

"Good idea," said Heero, glancing at their allies, who were all holding separate conversations, "it is a little loud in here." He then turned to Murrue, and she was struck by the strange look in his eyes; it looked like a combination of asking for permission and an apology.

Murrue gave him another warm smile. "Go ahead, Heero; I'll be waiting right here until you get back."

Heero nodded. "Alright."

"Thank you, Heero," said Lacus as he stood up, "I appreciate this." She then turned towards Murrue and gave her a small nod and smile, and the beautiful Captain could not help but feel that the songstress was attempting to relay a reassurance to her, a promise that she would not take advantage of her privacy with Heero.

Her perception truly is incredible, Murrue mused, especially for a girl her age. I wonder how much she suspects…

The two of them headed towards the exit, with Heero looking over his shoulder at Murrue one more time before they left the room. Murrue smiled at him. I'll be here, Heero, she thought, I'll wait for you… and I'll believe in you. You have my faith, my trust, Heero, and I know that you will honor it.

….

There journey through the ship's winding corridors was quiet, much to Heero's surprise; he had expected Lacus to being asking questions the moment they had left the conference room. That had not been the case though. Instead the songstress seemed content to lead him through the hallways in silence, and the Gundam pilot figured she was using the time to put her own thoughts in order.

He was curious as to what she wanted his perspective on, along with why she wished to speak with him apart from the others. He had no problem with getting out of the conference room and away from the others' chatter, but he had been slightly taken aback when Lacus had asked to speak with him apart from Murrue.

What can't she discuss in Murrue's presence?, he thought, I know they don't know each other very well, but the same can be said of Lacus and me. Why did she feel the need to get me away from Murrue?

The thought bothered him, but as he studied Lacus he could detect no signs of ill-intent in her body language. Indeed, the girl had a sense of honesty and sincerity about her that reminded Heero of Relena. She was open, not attempting to disguise anything about herself. Heero also noted, with no small measure of relief, that Lacus was displaying no sign of the not-so-subtle lust that had been so evident with the Valkyrie girls, particularly Lan Zhao.

The encounter back in the hangar had made him uneasy, though he had been able to handle it without any noticeable change in his demeanor. The fact that he had drawn such blatant attention from the Valkyrie girls hadn't surprised him, but his proximity to Murrue combined with his romantic feelings for her had made the whole situation awkward from his perspective. Fortunately he'd received an unexpected bit of help when Murrue had cut Lan off midstream, which had been followed by Adaline dragging her away with Priscilla in tow.

As he followed Lacus through the corridors he wasn't getting the same vibe from her as he had from the Valkyrie girls. Heero did note a sense of curiosity coming from Lacus, but like everything else about her it was open and honest. Heero knew that it was also natural, especially given the circumstances under which they had first met all those months ago. He still didn't know why she could not indulge her curiosity in the presence of Murrue or anyone else, and something about the whole situation still felt a little off, but Heero didn't feel threatened or uneasy. He was cautious and guarded, but that was normal for him; he acted that way with everyone… save for Murrue.

I guess I'll just have to play this by ear, he thought as Lacus led him through a doorway.

"Here we are," she said, smiling, "would you like something to drink? Perhaps a cup of coffee or a glass of water?"

Heero shook his head. "No, thanks."

Lacus nodded. "Very well then." The pink-haired songstress then headed over towards a large window, and Heero followed suit.

The two of them stood in front of the viewport for a moment, looking out at the stars. The lounge was on the ship's portside, and the Archangel was clearly visible, keeping its flanking position next to the vessel.

"It feels like yesterday," said Lacus softly, "when I first saw that ship, when I first met you, Captain Ramius, Kira, and the others. Yet at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. So much has happened… so much has changed."

Heero nodded. "War has a way of doing that, and the changes it brings about are seldom gentle."

"All too true," Lacus replied, "so many lives have been lost, many more changed forever, and the entire Earth Sphere is in a state of turmoil that continues to spiral further and further into darkness and madness." She then turned towards Heero, her expression completely serious. "I don't think any of us here have experienced a war like this… save for you."

"Every conflict has its similarities to another," said Heero cautiously, "but also many differences. The same can be said of the war I fought in my old world and the conflict we're in now."

"Well put," said Lacus, "however, while your last war and the one we find ourselves fighting now may be literally worlds apart, I believe that the experience you gained in that conflict gives you a very unique perspective on our own conflagration. As I told Captain Ramius earlier, I need that perspective, Heero Yuy; I need your insight."

"What makes you so certain it's my perspective you need?" asked Heero, "I've learned a lot since coming here, but I still lack the inherent familiarity with the Cosmic Era's politics and ideologies that you and the others have. Wouldn't Murrue or Waltfeld serve you better in this regard?"

"Their own experiences are very valuable," Lacus replied, "but yours is truly unique in that you are literally from outside this world, this war. That gives you a certain objectiveness that no one else has, and I believe it allows you to see angles that others may not be aware of, even people as mature and wise as Captain Ramius and Mister Waltfeld."

Heero could not help but be impressed as Lacus laid out her reasoning to him. He'd known from Kira's own words that she was intelligent, and her conduct during the meeting had only confirmed that about her, but the level of insight she was displaying now was definitely not the kind of wisdom one would expect from a girl her age, and an idol singer to boot.

People have called me 'wise beyond my ears' a few times in this world, he thought, but that phrase may actually be better suited for Lacus.

He gave her a small nod. "Alright. What do you want my opinion on?"

"Well, I guess the best place to start would be the war as a whole," said Lacus, "What do you find the most striking, the most intriguing? What parallels can you find between it and your own? Is there something from your own experience that we can use to bring this conflict to an end that does not involve the murder of countless innocent people?"

Heero couldn't help but give her a slight smirk. "You don't ask for much, do you?"

She gave him a rather sheepish smile in reply. "Forgive me; I suppose that is a lot to go over all at once. Still, they are questions that I need answered, to the best that you are able to do so."

"It's fine," said Heero, "and I can definitely understand their importance to you."

He looked out the viewport for a moment, giving himself time to put his thoughts in order. After a few seconds he turned back to Lacus.

"Well," he began, "on the surface, the conflict as a whole is between people residing on Earth and in outer space. That's an over-simplification, but it's also not too far from the truth; the bulk of the Alliance is concentrated on Earth, while ZAFT is based in outer space. There are notable exceptions, of course, with the Alliance dominating the moon, L2, and L1 while ZAFT has made significant gains on Earth; they've taken all of Australia and Africa now, along with much of Southeast Asia, and with the attack on Panama they've begun making inroads into South America. Not to mention they've taken Gibraltar, which is on the southern tip of the Iberian Peninsula and a fortified foothold in Europe."

Lacus nodded. "A succinct generalization when looking strictly at the territory held by both sides. I remember Captain Ramius saying during the meeting that your own conflict was a rebellion of the space colonies against the oppressive Earth government. The situation of the PLANTs was not entirely dissimilar in the past, though by the time the war broke out they had been an independent entity for a few years by that point."

"I'm aware of that," Heero replied, "still, looking at it from a very broad perspective, the dynamic of a conflict between Earth and space is still there, much as it was for my own war."

"As a general similarity, that is important," said Lacus, "but I would imagine that it is overshadowed by the key differences. Could you give me those you feel are most important?"

"Of course," said Heero, "though I hope you don't mind a little history lesson in the process."

"Not at all," she replied, smiling, "I actually enjoy the subject."

Heero nodded. "You said the PLANTs had already gained independence from the Earth prior to the start of the war. As you know, in our case it was quite different, though you're unaware of the extent. The struggle for independence from the United Earth Sphere Alliance began well before I or my fellow pilots were born. In the year After Colony 139, fifty-six years before we began open warfare with the Alliance, the Colony Autonomy Organization was created as a movement to gain independence from the Earth. It started as a strictly political organization, hoping to achieve freedom through peaceful demonstration and working within the system, but the Alliance responded by increasing their military presence within the colonies. Within less than a year the colonies were forced to yield to the increasing pressure from the Earth, and the organization was officially disbanded. However, in the relatively short period of its existence it had already spawned a more militant faction, and the members of that faction went underground and began a guerrilla campaign against the Alliance occupation forces. The conflict continued to escalate over the years, with the colonial civilians caught in the crossfire… and taking the brunt of the casualties."

"How awful…" said Lacus softly.

Heero nodded. "The militants may have been fighting in the name of colonial independence, but their methods grew more indiscriminate as the conflict raged on. You wouldn't be wrong to call them terrorists at that point."

"What stopped the escalation?" asked Lacus, "I do not believe you would've fought for terrorists, Heero."

"In the year After Colony 165," he continued, "several dissident groups, mainly those inclined towards less violent resistance, elected a new leader; Heero Yuy. His message was one of total pacifism, and it gained great popularity and support both in the colonies and the Earth Sphere as a whole. Even the more hardened and radical members of the colonial resistance wound up getting behind it, and the violence slowly but surely dwindled until it was practically non-existent; the colonial independence movement regained its non-violent roots."

"You said the leader's name was Heero Yuy?" asked Lacus, "Would I be wrong to assume you were named for him?"

Heero hesitated momentarily before deciding to go along with her assumption; she didn't need to know that he had been given the moniker as a code name for Operation Meteor, and that he did not know what his real name was. That knowledge was for Murrue alone.

"You're correct," he stated, "I was named for him."

If the songstress had noticed his hesitation, she gave no sign of it. "I take it the good times didn't last," she said solemnly, "not if someone as young as you was forced to become a fighter for the independence of the colonies."

Heero nodded. "The Alliance was ruled from the shadows by the Romefeller Foundation, a group of powerful industrialists whose premier business was in arms production. The spread of Yuy's message of total pacifism was gaining serious ground, and was a threat to their revenues. Therefore, in the year After Colony 175 the Foundation had their private military force, OZ, assassinate Yuy. The non-violent protest movement in the colonies fell apart in short order, and the militants once again gained dominance. From there the march to open war was inexorable, and culminated in Operation Meteor twenty years later. That was the codename for the descent of the five Gundams, which had been built in secret by the colonies, to Earth and the beginning of our war against the Alliance and OZ."

"I see," said Lacus, "I'm assuming that you and the other four pilots were bankrolled by the militant faction. Still, I cannot see you adopting terrorist tactics in you struggle."

"Correct," said Heero, "they wanted us to wage a total war, but we restricted our activities to attacks on strictly military targets; bases, weapons factories, supply depots, etc." He then smirked slightly. "In a way, we rebelled against our own rebellion. The Alliance may have called us terrorists, but we refused to target civilians; we were not of the same mold as the hard line colonial militants."

Lacus smiled. "No, Heero; you and your comrades were true soldiers. You fought not just with skill and power, but with a conscience, and I believe that is why you have allied with us in our own struggle."

Heero nodded. "You're right… partially. I have my own motivations for fighting with you guys."

Actually, only one motivation, he thought, protecting Murrue.

Lacus simply continued smiling. "Of course, Heero." Her expression then became more serious. "From what you've told me, I can already spot one of the major differences between your war and our own; ideology."

"Yes," said Heero, "though not in the manner you may think. It started as a war of independence, but as the conflict dragged on an even more radical group emerged from the colonies; White Fang. Rather than mere independence, they sought to escalate the conflict even further by eliminating the Earth entirely, claiming that it was the true source of war by virtue of it being the root of humanity, tying us to our blood soaked past. To this end they hijacked a massive battleship called the Libra. It had a powerful beam cannon as its main weapon, a gun that would put Wing Zero's rifle to shame. To demonstrate its capabilities they used it to annihilate an island. However, the beam gun alone would not be enough to render Earth uninhabitable, but the vessel's sheer size would, and they set it on a collision course with the Earth."

Lacus gasped. "That's monstrous! They were no better than Zala!"

"Agreed," said Heero, "that's why we stopped them. The ensuing battle was the largest in the history of the Earth Sphere, with practically all of Earth and space's armaments thrown into the fighting. The casualties surpassed any other battle in human history, but White Fang was defeated, and the way was paved for a new, peaceful future."

"I remember now," said Lacus, "Kira told me during his stay in the PLANTs about how you equated humanity's history to that of an endless waltz, danced to the three beats of war, peace, and revolution. He said that your world broke its cycle by waging a battle so destructive that it actually defeated mankind's very will to fight. That was the battle you just spoke of, wasn't it?"

"Yes," said Heero grimly, "and such a battle may well be the only way we can end this war as well."

"I pray that you are wrong, Heero," said Lacus, her expression solemn.

Heero nodded. "So do I… but the alternative may be the complete annihilation of the human race."

"There must be another path," said Lacus.

Heero looked out the viewport for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Perhaps I'm projecting my own experience a little too much onto the current conflict. The final stage of my war wasn't as simple as I made it out to be."

"Care to elaborate?" asked Lacus.

"The Romefeller Foundation was overthrown from within," said Heero, "and it was replaced by a new organization called the World Nation. The former head of OZ swiftly seized control of the World Nation and devoted all its military assets towards combating the threat posed by White Fang. At the same time, White Fang gained a new leader, a man who just happened to be a friend of the new ruler of the World Nation. Together those two men orchestrated the final confrontation; they deliberately set up the largest battle in the history of the Earth Sphere. The leader of White Fang claimed that the organization's goal was to eliminate the Earth as a source of conflict, while the leader of the World Nation declared his intent to defeat White Fang and protect the world. Their publicly stated goals were easy enough for the general public to understand, but the underlying purpose of the battle did not become apparent until it was actually over."

A look of dawning comprehension came to Lacus's face. "Those two men, the leaders of White Fang and the World Nation… they set up such a titanic, high-stakes battle to destroy mankind's will to fight!"

Heero nodded. "Exactly. The Gundam pilots, including myself, wound up siding with the Earth forces to take down the Libra and White Fang, but we still played into the larger objective of the battle… as both sides' leaders knew we would. To the casual observer and the frontline soldiers we were the wild card in the game, but to those two men, our roles had already been predicted. We played into their hands, but in the process we at last brought the war to an end. A new government was forged, the Earth Sphere Unified Nation, encompassing both the planet and her colonies in a truly democratic society."

Lacus nodded. "A happy ending, though it came at a high price. I appreciate you sharing this with me, and from it I can already draw some conclusions of my own regarding the key differences between your last war and the one we are in now."

Heero nodded. "Go ahead."

"As I stated earlier," she said, "one of the key distinctions between the conflict your world went through and this war is ideology. From the information you just gave me though, I believe I can narrow it down further. In your war, the Earth government ultimately sought control, while the colonies originally sought independence. However, their motives evolved over time. With the dissolution of Romefeller and the birth of the World Nation the Earth government became much less oppressive. However, the colonial militants had been hardened and embittered by years of fighting against a nation that had dominated them with an iron fist, and when you and the other Gundam pilots did not follow the plans they originally had for you they took matters into their own hands. Guided by hatred and the desire for vengeance as much as independence, if not more, they prepared to enact a much more destructive campaign, ultimately culminating the in the elimination of what they saw as the source of all their problems; the Earth."

Heero nodded. "The hatred embraced by the more radical colonial militants towards the Earth does have some similarities to the attitude embraced by Zala and his followers. That parallel is only further emphasized by their actions in the final stage of the war. The battleship Libra was an enormous vessel; had it fallen to Earth, the environmental damage would've been devastating, perhaps irreparably so. Billions of innocent people would've been killed, either immediately or in the aftermath. White Fang's intent with that operation was implicitly genocide, a goal that the PLANT radicals, according to you and your allies, aspire towards."

Lacus nodded. "I know not how Zala plans to achieve his goal. Were he to pursue it through conventional means it would be a long, drawn-out process, and Zala is the type to pursue decisive action versus a protracted campaign. The recent development of N-Jammer Cancellers suggests, to me at least, that the radicals are opting for another method, one most likely involving nuclear power. Whether it be with nuclear missiles or a new kind of weapon is at this point an exercise in speculation. However, I can imagine that Zala would find the use of nuclear power in the genocide of the Naturals to be fitting given the Alliance's attack on Junius Seven at the start of the war."

"Understandable, if monstrous," said Heero grimly, "in Zala's eyes that would be a very karmic retribution. I'm glad you brought up the attack on Junius Seven, because it actually serves as another key distinction between this war and my own."

"How so?" asked Lacus.

"The Earth Alliance may not have openly stated this," said Heero, "but their use of nuclear weapons against an agricultural colony perfectly illustrated their true intent in this war; complete eradication of the Coordinator people. Had ZAFT not developed and deployed the N-Jammers so quickly after the attack, I imagine further nuclear strikes would've been inevitable."

"A reasonable conclusion to draw," said Lacus, "but I do not see how this serves to contrast your war and ours."

"I'm getting to that," said Heero, "the government that I and the other Gundam pilots rebelled against did not wish to annihilate the colonies, but merely to subjugate them. There is no Natural or Coordinator divide in the After Colony timeline; genetic engineering on that scale never took place. The United Earth Sphere Alliance fought for more conventional reasons; domination, resource acquisition, etc. The colonies response was also based along conventional reasoning; drive out the oppressors and gain independence. Some factions on both sides may have harbored deep grudges or hatreds for their opposite number, but it wasn't along genetic lines."

Lacus's eyes widened. "Now I get it; you're saying that the most important distinction between your war and ours is the motivations behind the hatred and hostility expressed by both sides!"

"Precisely," said Heero, "though it is true that the hatred of some of the colonial militants, White Fang in particular, evolved towards a genocidal extreme, the roots of the hostilities in my war were not based upon race. It was a war of independence with escalating tensions and animosity on both sides, but it ultimately boiled down to a conflict between the people of the colonies and those that lived on Earth. This war, on the surface, has a similar appearance, but the fact of the matter is that this conflict's true nature is based upon racial prejudice. The ruling elite of the Earth Alliance, particularly the Atlantic Federation, view the Coordinators as abominations, while Zala and his allies see Naturals as savages, lower forms of life. The ultimate goal of both camps is the complete annihilation of the other race, and it has been for most if not all of this war."

Lacus nodded. "Zala may not have initially held such extreme views, but with the death of his wife three days into the war at Junius Seven no doubt hardened his heart. He may have helped found ZAFT to protect our people from the aggression of the Atlantic Federation, but after Junius Seven his views probably evolved to the point that he eventually came to see our military as the means to avenge Lenore's death by way of the eradication of all Naturals."

"A logical assumption," said Heero, "as for the Alliance, or more specifically the Atlantic Federation, I believe that they've considered the extinction of your people to be their goal from the beginning; the attack on Junius Seven is evidence enough of that."

"You're right," she said softly, "though I cannot believe that the entirety of the Alliance wants us wiped out, and even within their government there must be an equivalent to our own moderate faction."

"There most likely is," Heero replied, "but with the stranglehold Blue Cosmos and their affiliates have over the upper echelons of the Alliance government and their military, I doubt their internal foes have the strength to act against them, openly or otherwise. We can expect no help from Earth, Lacus."

"No," said the songstress, shaking her head in resignation, "I suppose not."

A somber silence fell between the two of them as they both once again turned to stare out the window. After a few seconds Lacus once again turned to him, her expression one of trepidation. "Heero, based on your past experience and what you've been through so far in the Cosmic Era, how do you think our own war will end? What possible conclusions to this conflict do you see?"

"Hard to say," he replied, "I'm no seer, Lacus; I can't predict the future."

"Of course not," said Lacus, "but still, you must have a few possible scenarios in mind."

Heero sighed. "Only the two I mentioned before, Lacus. A battle bloody enough to convince both sides that they cannot afford to keep fighting… or mutual annihilation. Believe me, I want there to be another path, but with the way events continue to spiral out of control, I cannot see one."

"I cannot accept that," said Lacus, "there must be another way!"

"I haven't accepted it either, Lacus," said Heero firmly, his eyes narrowing, "just because those are the only two outcomes I can envision right now does not mean I don't want there to be others. These two are simply the most likely outcomes. I'm not just going to sit back and let mankind march forward towards its own destruction though; I'm going to fight with Murrue and the rest of you to save your world, in whatever way we can."

"Heero…" she said softly, her eyes widening.

"Back in my war," Heero continued, "the other Gundam pilots and I originally took to the battlefield to liberate our colonies, but as the conflict dragged on and the situation evolved we all eventually settled on a new goal; to bring the war to an end, and protect the innocent people of the Earth Sphere in doing so. Whether they lived on the planet or in space, it didn't matter; we refused to let them be destroyed by war."

He looked back out the viewport, an image of Murrue flashing through his mind. "I'll do the same here, Lacus. I'll fight alongside you guys to protect your world, to ensure that the people of the Cosmic Era are not consumed by the fires of war."

Of course, the rest of the people of the Cosmic Era were a secondary concern; the person he wanted to protect above all others was Murrue. He wanted to save the Cosmic Era because it meant saving Murrue. It meant giving her a future where she could be happy and pursue her hopes and dreams in peace… and maybe, just maybe, with him by her side.

Lacus bowed her head. "Heero… thank you. I'm truly grateful that you are on our side, that you are willing to help us protect our world." She then looked up and smiled, and Heero was struck by a strange, knowing look in her eyes. "Although, I know that it is not our world that you are fighting to protect. Do not get me wrong; you are a brave, noble, and selfless person, but I believe that the true reason you are fighting is much more personal than the fate of countless strangers. I'm sure defending the innocent people is important to you… but I know that is not what is truly driving you to fight alongside us… and it is certainly not why you have stayed with the Archangel since the day you came to our world. The true reason you're fighting, your sole purpose for doing battle in our war, is to protect one person… one woman."

That got his attention more than anything else she had said over the course of their conversation. Heero was tempted to feign ignorance, to ask what she was talking about, but the look of certainty in her eyes was enough to convince him of the futility of such an effort. Heero couldn't explain how, but he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she knew what his true reason for fighting in the Cosmic Era was; to protect Murrue.

To protect her… because he loved her.

He tried to maintain his usual calm and cool expression, but he could not help but widen his eyes slightly. "How… how do you…?"

Lacus giggled at his surprise. "For all your battlefield prowess, Heero, you lack an understanding of women's intuition. The way you were acting with her during the briefing, the way you looked at her, spoke up for her, supported her… I could see it plain as day, and I'm sure I wasn't the only one. In fact… I think the only person that does not see the truth is her… and the same could be said of you, regarding her own feelings."

Her eyes met his, a sense of serenity and wisdom emanating from her pale cerulean gems. "Heero Yuy… you love Murrue Ramius."

It wasn't a question; she spoke with the authority that came with certainty, with the knowledge that she was right beyond a shadow of a doubt. It did not matter that what little evidence she had was based upon observing two people that she had only met months ago and had not seen again until today; her faith in her intuition and the conclusion it had brought her to was absolute. Her gaze was piercing, and Heero was struck by how it seemed to stab right through the emotional armor he'd built up over the years, the layers of stoicism that had helped him survive a lifetime of war, which had enabled him to become a Gundam pilot. It was an otherworldly feeling, and more than a little unnerving. Still, despite the fact that it made him uneasy, Heero was also struck by the honesty that was in her eyes. It spoke a silent message; I know what lies in your heart. Please, do not be afraid. Give me your confidence; it will not be betrayed.

Heero sighed as he turned back towards the viewport. "Was I really that easy to read?"

Lacus shook her head. "Not at first, no. After all, it has been a long time since we have seen each other. I had to observe your mannerisms, your demeanor. It took some time, but you unknowingly gave me clues even from the beginning."

"How so?" asked Heero.

"When you got off the shuttle and stepped into the hangar," said Lacus, "you became alert and tense. I saw your eyes darting around, though you minimized your head movement. You were scanning the hangar for threats, and though you were a little behind Captain Ramius I could tell that you were ready to spring in front of her the instant you detected danger."

"Very perceptive," said Heero, "but to see that and make the leap that my caution and protectiveness was born out of love from that one instance seems to be quite a stretch in logic."

Lacus nodded. "Well put, Heero. There is, naturally, more to my observations. Your behavior during the meeting was the key to my deduction. You were subtle, at least when compared to how other people might display their affections, but I could still see the feelings you were both expressing and holding back in your actions. The way you looked at Captain Ramius several times, meeting her gaze and trying to support her, speaking up for her when we discussed who should lead us in battle and backing down only when she made it clear that she wanted to keep her current role… all that spoke to something deeper than just a close friendship." She then smiled softly. "And there was a subtle shift in your demeanor a ways into the meeting, the way you were sitting in your chair. It wasn't overt, but a slight adjustment... you were holding her hand underneath the table, weren't you?"

It may have been phrased as a question, but the way she spoke made it seem more like a statement of fact… which it was. Heero recalled with perfect clarity Murrue grabbing his hand when he had been briefly discussing his past with Waltfeld and the others at the meeting. True, it had been the beautiful Captain that had initiated the contact, but Heero had responded without hesitation by firmly gripping her hand.

I thought for sure no one had noticed that, he thought as he looked at Lacus, this girl… she's sharp.

Despite the fact that she was right on the money, Heero did not answer Lacus. It wasn't that he would not admit that she was right; he just didn't know how to respond. The conversation had rapidly shifted into a territory that he had very little familiarity with, and he was struggling to find his footing.

Lacus wasted no time in filling in the silence. "Your actions during the meeting strengthened my suspicions, but even then they would not have been enough by themselves to confirm my intuition. However, I had something else that did."

"And that was?" asked Heero.

"My time with Kira while he was recovering at my estate," she said, "during his stay we talked a great deal about his adventures on board the Archangel, along with the people on that ship… including you and Captain Ramius. He spoke very highly of both of you, and also brought up a few things that stood out regarding your interactions. He said that, though you were quiet and withdrawn when dealing with most people, you were quite ready to converse with Captain Ramius. Kira noticed that any time you were not asleep or working on Wing Zero you spent with Captain Ramius, whether it be while both of you were on off-duty or if she was on the bridge. What was most important in my mind though, was that he said you trusted her, more than anyone else on the Archangel. He didn't know the details of your conversations with her, but he believed that you had opened up to her, and that is a belief that I share."

"And there is one more bit," she continued, "during the time I spent in the PLANTs between my return from the Archangel and my flight on the Eternal I had several conversations with Mister Waltfeld and Miss Aisha. We discussed many matters, but one of the topics that commonly came up was the meeting they had with you, Kira, and Cagalli in Banadiya. They both think quite highly of you, and they both said that you had given them the reason that you were fighting for the Archangel; that there was someone on board that you wanted to protect. More specifically, a woman you wanted to protect. Just to drive the point home, they also mentioned how you bought this woman a necklace, one not of great monetary value but with far more sentimental and emotional weight, a charm of sorts that one gives to someone that they have a strong bond with, one that they wish to defend no matter what. Waltfeld also mentioned just before the meeting that Captain Ramius was wearing your gift proudly."

The trinket Heero had given Murrue all those months ago instantly flashed through his mind, and was quickly followed by the woman herself. He was once again struck by how she had never taken it off or hid it; she had worn it openly and proudly since the day he had given it to her, even in situations where it might have been more appropriate to conceal such a thing, like in their debriefing with the Atlantic Federation High Command at Alaska.

"Again," said Lacus, drawing Heero's attention back to the present, "those details by themselves would not amount to much, but taken in conjunction with everything else… well, there is only one real conclusion I can make." Her eyes once again met his. "Heero Yuy, you're in love with Captain Murrue Ramius."

The Gundam pilot hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding. "Yes… I am. Truth be told, I have been for quite a while now. Months, I think, maybe as far back as North Africa. I… I'm not sure exactly where or when it started."

"And it doesn't matter," said Lacus, smiling, "you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the feelings you have in your heart for her are indeed love, and that you have had them for quite some time now." Her expression then became one of concern. "So why… why haven't you told Miss Murrue how you feel about her? I can tell that the passion you feel for her is very strong, and that you're struggling to hold it back. Why are you keeping your love for her bottled up?"

"How do you know that I haven't told her already?" he asked.

"Your hesitancy," she replied, "you're willing to admit that you love her, but it wasn't straightforward; you had to push yourself to do so. If you were already in a relationship with her, I do not believe that hesitancy would exist." She took a step closer to him, her voice softening as she spoke again. "Heero, you haven't talked to anyone about this, have you? Why?"

Heero looked down. "It's… it's not a simple matter, Lacus. There's a lot more involved than my own feelings."

"Perhaps," said the songstress, "but still, you should not be keeping it all bottled up like this. I know you do not trust easily, but you do have friends, people aside from Captain Ramius that you can have faith in. Kira and Cagalli come readily to my mind. I know Kira has great respect for you and considers you a friend, and when I spoke with Cagalli earlier she displayed similar sentiments. You have maintained a distance from others since you came to our world, Heero, but you have made friends, and I think you know that those friends would not betray your trust, especially not after all you've done. So why not open up to them, let out at least some of your feelings, ease at least some of the pressure that is building within you?"

"I can't," said Heero, turning back towards the viewport, "it's true that I consider both Kira and Cagalli to be my friends now, but still… this isn't something I can talk to them about."

"Why not?" she asked, "You are speaking of it with me now."

"Because you've figured it out," said Heero, "there's little point in hiding it from you now."

"And you do not think that they at least suspect that there is more to your devotion to Captain Ramius than just a strong friendship?" asked Lacus, "Your friends are not blind, Heero. I don't know if they've come to the same conclusion that I have, but surely they must feel that there is something more to your loyalty and protectiveness towards Miss Murrue."

The songstress had a point, and Heero supposed it had been careless of him to not consider the possibility of his friends taking notice of how he acted with Murrue when compared to the other people he encountered during his time on the Archangel. "Perhaps they do," he said softly, "but still, there's more at stake than my own feelings."

"Are you worried about how they'll affect Captain Ramius?" she asked.

"Of course I am!" he replied, unable to keep his voice from rising, "There's a ten year age gap between us, for crying out loud! I could get her into serious trouble!"

"That is true," said Lacus, her eyes narrowing, "However, if that were the real reason then I do not believe that you would allow yourself to continue to have such strong feelings for her, nor would you continue to interact with her in the manner that I observed during the meeting. The age gap between you two is a hurdle, but it is one that I believe the two of you could overcome together… and I think that you feel the same way, deep down in your heart. Also, I do not believe that anyone among us would raise serious concern over the age gap between the two of you, especially given how clear it is that you two care deeply for each other. It is admirable and noble of you to have such concern for the possible trouble that a relationship between the two of you could cause for Captain Ramius… but it is not what is truly holding you back, is it?"

Her words were as piercing as her gaze, and dead on the money. While Heero had recognized since the moment he'd first become aware of his attraction to Murrue that the age gap between them was a matter of some concern, he also had faith that, as Lacus had said, it was a hurdle that he could overcome with Murrue if she actually returned his feelings. It had still been imposing at first, but as his journey with the amazing woman had continued it had been slowly but surely pushed into the background as his love for her had grown.

In fact, he mused, I actually haven't thought about the age gap between us in quite some time now. When did I stop seeing it as some huge obstacle? Alaska, maybe? Sometime in the run up to the battle there, or right afterwards? I don't know… In the end, it didn't even matter; as Lacus had said, the age gap was not what was truly holding him back, forcing him to keep his true feelings for Murrue hidden.

No, it wasn't conventional worries like age or status that were keeping him from taking that leap of faith, from confessing his love to Murrue. It was something deeper and darker, something that no one else had seen in him save for Murrue, and even then she had not witnessed its true depths; guilt.

It was guilt for the lives he had taken, for the blood that would forever stain his hands. Between his actions in his own world and the battles he had fought in the Cosmic Era Heero knew that he had become one of the greatest killers in human history, and it was not something he was proud of. Quite the opposite; he hated himself for it.

How many lives have I personally ended?, he thought ruefully, Tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands… millions, maybe? Granted, his personal body count did not match the likes of those such as Mao, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, or the other notorious mass murderers that humanity had produced, at least not when it came to sheer numbers. However, unlike those men that had used their legions of followers and soldiers to carry out their atrocities on their behalf, Heero had built up his own mountain of corpses personally. When it came to single combatants, it was hard to imagine that anyone could rival the amount of lives that had been claimed by his unholy skills as a soldier.

The Reaper of North Africa, he thought, recalling the moniker that had been floating around the Archangel after his mauling of Waltfeld's army, A nickname I never wanted, but one that fit the deeds of that campaign. If they knew the true extent of the bloodbath I've left in my wake, though… well, I'd imagine they'd come up with a more sinister title for me; after all, I've reaped lives in places far beyond the sands of the Sahara, and far more than the casualties I inflicted upon Waltfeld's forces.

He sighed as he once again turned to face the pink-haired songstress. "I'm a murderer, Lacus. I've claimed more lives than any single combatant in the history of the Earth Sphere, regardless of timeline. Murrue… she deserves better than the love of a killer."

Lacus shook her head. "Heero, you are not a murderer. Yes, you have taken lives, and I do not doubt the number of people that have fallen to you in battle is more than I can comprehend, but you were acting as a soldier. You were trying to survive in a war-torn world, and being forced to kill, while awful and tragic, is the necessary reality that comes with being a soldier. You yourself are well aware of this, Heero, and so is Murrue. You are not a murderer, and she does not see you as one, I'm sure of it!"

Heero shook his head, images from his old nightmare, his worst memory, flashing through his mind. "Lacus, the lives I've taken… include more than just enemy combatants."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

For a moment Heero hesitated, wondering why he was even considering sharing the tale of that tragedy with a girl that he had only met for the second time today. The only person he had ever told about that disaster two years ago had been Murrue, and that had been because he trusted her more than anyone else, because she had already by that point become the most important person in his life, though at that time he wasn't entirely sure why. The bond between them had already been established and recognized, and had even been paid tribute to in the form of the necklace Heero had gotten for Murrue in Banadiya. He had no such connection with Lacus.

And yet… here he was, talking to her about feelings that he had shared with no one else, even his friends Kira and Cagalli. Heero barely knew Lacus, but the girl had already worked her way past his defenses and had convinced him to finally give voice to the passion that was burning in his heart for Murrue. It was completely illogical, but Heero could not help but trust Lacus, in a manner very similar to the trust he had in Murrue. The songstress had an air of honesty and sincerity about her, and it was not forced or projected; it was completely natural. From the moment he had begun speaking with her Heero could almost feel an unspoken promise coming from her, that she would not betray his trust.

She inspires confidence in others, and at the same time promises to keep it, he mused, all without even trying. No wonder the PLANT moderates wanted her to lead them after her father died; she can naturally get people to trust her. She's completely sincere, she gives people hope and strength… she's a lot like Relena.

He looked down at the floor as he spoke. "Over two years ago I was working for one of the colonial militant groups, the one that was constructing the Gundam I would use in Operation Meteor. I was given an assignment to destroy a base the Alliance had built on a colony. To that end I infiltrated the facility and planted demolition charges at key places. I got out and came back at night to detonate the charges."

"That sounds like a fairly straightforward mission to me," said Lacus, "why bring it up now?"

Heero sighed. "The mission itself was straightforward… but not the results. I…I screwed up, Lacus."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I underestimated the power of the charges I'd been given for the mission," he replied, "I planted them correctly, but I had been laboring under a mistaken assumption regarding how strong they were. When I detonated them that night, the entire base was annihilated as planned… but the explosion consumed more than just the base."

"What happened?" she asked, her voice soft and with a hint of trepidation.

"There… there was a residential block just across the street from the base," said Heero, his voice beginning to waver, "there was an apartment complex… it must've housed hundreds of people, maybe thousands. When the charges went off, they blew one of the mobile suits at the base across the street… and into the block. Then the machine exploded…" He looked up at Lacus, and he had no doubt that his expression was one of a very haunted young man. "The residential block was wiped out, Lacus. The people that lived there… they weren't Alliance soldiers… they were innocent civilians. They wanted no part of our war… they were the people I was fighting for, to liberate… and I slaughtered them."

"Heero…" said Lacus, her voice barely over a whisper.

The Gundam pilot looked down again, unable to meet her gaze. He didn't know to say next; images of that terrible night and the following morning were whirling through his mind, threatening to overwhelm him. His hands were clenched in fists, trembling as he struggled to once again hold back the anguish, despair, and overwhelming guilt that the memory of that tragedy never failed to stir within him.

He was startled to feel a slender hand land gently on his shoulder. "Heero, look at me. Please."

His eyes widened as his mind flashed back to that night all those months ago over the Red Sea… the last time he had been tormented by the nightmare that was his worst memory. An image of the woman that had rushed to his quarters when he had cried out in anguish and sorrow, who had woken and embraced him, shielded him from the demons of his past, flashed through his mind… along with her voice.

"Heero, look at me. Please."

Those words, he thought, they're the same ones Murrue said that night…

He looked up, and was struck by how similar Lacus's expression was to the one Murrue had worn that night all those months ago. Like the mature and beautiful woman he was so deeply in love with, the look on Lacus's face was full of concern; there was not a hint of incrimination or disgust anywhere in her features.

"Heero," she said softly, "have you told Miss Murrue about this?"

Heero nodded. "After North Africa, while we were going through the Red Sea towards the Indian Ocean… I had a dream about that night. No, dream is the wrong word for that memory; it was a nightmare. I guess I cried out in my sleep, because Murrue ran to my room and woke me up; our quarters are right next to each other, and she heard me through the wall."

"She rushed to your side out of fear for your safety," said Lacus, "no doubt she was very worried about you. What happened next?"

"I… I told her everything," said Heero, "the mission, the aftermath, the dead civilians… I didn't hold anything back."

"You were completely honest with her," said the songstress, smiling slightly, "even back then you already had such faith in her… you had already begun to love her."

Heero nodded. "Yeah… maybe it did start then…"

"Heero," said Lacus, "how did Miss Murrue react after you told her about what had happened?"

Heero closed his eyes for a moment, recalling with perfect clarity every detail of that night over the Red Sea. He then opened his eyes as he responded. "Murrue… she pulled me close, embraced me… I'd never been held so tightly before. She told me… that I wasn't a murderer, that what had happened was a tragic mistake. Murrue... she believed that the fact that I still showed such remorse two years after what I did was proof enough that I wasn't the monster I thought I was."

"And she's right, Heero," said Lacus, her smile growing, "You would never deliberately target civilians; this I believe without a shred of doubt, and I know Miss Murrue feels the same way. She didn't accuse you of murdering those people because she knew that you would never commit such a heinous act; she knew that what had happened was a terrible mistake. Miss Murrue saw the same remorse and anguish in you that I see now, and she sought to comfort you and protect you from it."

Once again his mind flashed back to that night. He once again remembered standing in the doorway of his quarters, Murrue mere inches away from him. He saw her lean in to kiss him on the cheek, and he could still feel the phantom touch of her warm, moist lips on his skin.

"Yeah…" said Heero absently, the image in his mind warming his face considerably.

"Heero," said Lacus, pulling his attention back to the present, "what you've told me shows me all I need to know; Miss Murrue accepted what you had done as a tragic mistake. It did not cloud the way she looks at you; she still cares deeply for you even with the knowledge of what you did two years ago. She's accepted you for who you are and what you've done in your past, and she's done so without any hesitation. In fact… I would say she's done more than just that."

"What do you mean?" asked Heero, noting a strange shift in the girl's tone.

Lacus giggled. "Oh, Heero… you still can't see it, can you?"

"See what?" he asked, though he was beginning to suspect what she was talking about. She was broaching a possibility that he had considered many times now, though he hadn't dared believe that there was truth behind it. It had been a small but growing suspicion in the back of his mind, one that had gained a little more fuel in each of his interactions with the woman that had captured his heart, but he had still not allowed himself to truly embrace it; how could he, when he did not believe that he was worthy of it?

"Heero," said Lacus, "what I'm about to tell you is something that I cannot back up with any definitive form of evidence or proof. I'm basing it solely on what I've observed today, so the details supporting it can be called circumstantial. Nevertheless, I do believe that I am right."

"Right about what?" asked Heero.

Lacus smiled. "Heero, you've already admitted to me that you love Miss Murrue. Tell me though; have you considered her feelings towards you?"

Heero hesitated for a moment, trying to work out a proper response. "I… I know she cares about me. We've developed… a powerful friendship over the course of our travels, and I know she trusts me more than anyone else. She… she knows me better than anyone else, and she swore to protect me as I said I'd do for her."

Lacus nodded. "I can definitely see her making such a vow, and the same goes for you. However, I believe that there is more to her feelings than just those of a friendship forged in the fires of war. I remember what she called you in the conversation you had with her earlier; her 'dearest companion'. That tells me that she holds the bond between the two of you as something truly precious… with feelings that I believe run as deep as your own."

Heero's eyes widened as her words sunk in. "Lacus… are you saying…"

She nodded, smiling again. "Heero… I believe Miss Murrue is in love with you as well."

Heero froze, his mind struggling to take in her words. Her statement had been so simple… and yet, it was also ground-breaking. He'd barely dared to allow himself to hope that Murrue might maybe, just maybe, feel the same way about him that he did about her. To have someone else state their belief that she actually did love him was a shock to the system, unlike any other that he had felt before.

He took a step back, shaking the songstress's hand from his shoulder, still trying to absorb what Lacus had just said. "Murrue… why…"

"Why would she love you?" asked Lacus, "Heero, do you truly see yourself as unworthy of her affections? Because I'm all but certain that Miss Murrue does not share that sentiment."

"But I… I'm…" said Heero, struggling for words.

Lacus's eyes narrowed, and the Gundam pilot was struck by the intensity in them. "Do not say it, Heero; don't even think of calling yourself a murderer again! What you've told me has already made it perfectly clear that Miss Murrue does not think of you that way; she never has! I know she doesn't, just as I do not. She understands, Heero; she knows what happened that night was not what you had intended to do!"

"Even without that," said Heero, his voice barely over a whisper, "all the lives I've taken…"

"You've done so as a soldier," Lacus finished for him firmly, "You killed because you were in a war; you had to take life in order to survive. More importantly, you fought not for yourself, but for others, both in your last war and in this one. You fought to protect people, both those you knew and those you did not; you fought to make sure that they did not have to suffer the same pain that you did. You took on the burden of having so much blood on your hands so that others would not have to endure it!"

"Heero," Lacus continued, "Miss Murrue understands, I'm sure she does. She's a soldier like you; she knows what it means to bear that kind of responsibility! She has the strength to do that, and she sees that same strength in you, and she loves you for it! And it's not just that; it's far more. She sees your bravery, your intelligence, your determination… and your compassion, Heero! You may act cool and calm, but she sees what lies beneath that surface, as do I; you're a kind and gentle young man at heart, one who never wanted to kill. She's seen that kindness within you, the warm heart that you keep hidden from everyone else, and she loves you for it!"

Her expression then softened as a warm smile appeared on her face. "Heero, remember in the meeting how Miss Murrue was so opposed to you taking on the Avalon battle-station?"

Heero nodded slowly. "Yes… I do."

"You saw just how passionate she was in her objections to us using you as the spearhead of the operation," said Lacus, "she was angry at Waltfeld and the rest of us, and not without reason; I agree with her in that we're asking far too much of you. However… while I'm sure Miss Murrue cares about all the people that sever under her, I do not think she would've given such a passionate resistance to any of them being used in such a plan as she did for you. There was more to her opposition than just her looking after one of her pilots… and I believe that it went beyond the strong friendship the two of you share as well. She was desperate to keep you from having to take on the deadliest roles in the operation… because it meant that the man she loved would be confronting suicidal odds. You told me how the two of you had sworn to protect each other; in her mind, I'm sure she saw her actions as her carrying through with her own vow."

Heero closed his eyes, recalling Murrue's fiery defense of him before he had spoken up, volunteering to take on the role that she had fought so hard to keep him from. He had appreciated her struggle on his behalf, but he also knew that Waltfeld had been right; him taking on that role was the only way the operation had a chance at succeeding.

Once he had vocally stated his intention to take on the Avalon battle-station, Murrue's attitude had shifted. Heero could tell that she was still against the plan, but she had decided to support him anyway, to show her faith in his abilities and her determination to support him in whatever way she could.

She was against the plan, he thought, and I'm sure she still is… but she's supporting my role in it now despite that opposition. Her vocal opposition ended when I volunteered. She did try to dissuade me, and I'm grateful for that, but she was quick to get behind me after I made it clear that I was willing to take on the role that the others wanted me to. She never once doubted my abilities… she hasn't since we became friends…

His mind flashed back as images of their time together flew through his head. The talk they had had that night in North Africa, her staying by his side to comfort him after his nightmare, their outing together in Orb, her allowing him to hold her in her bed as she mourned the loss of Tolle and Kira after the battle in the Marshall Islands, their firm support of each other during the debriefing at Alaska, their fierce embrace after escaping the battle that had taken place at the Alliance base, her staying by his side while he had recovered in the infirmary after his rampage during the Battle of Orb… all those memories and more flashed before his eyes.

All their time together, their deepening bond, his growing feelings for her, her devotion and loyalty to him… bit by bit, the evidence was assembling in front of him. The suspicions he'd barely dared to even think about were gaining traction, encouraged by the firm belief of the songstress standing before him.

He loved Murrue… and there was the very real chance that she loved him too.

Heero opened his eyes and met Lacus's gaze. When he spoke, his voice was barely over a whisper. "Murrue… you truly think she… loves me?"

Lacus nodded. "Yes, Heero. Naturally, I cannot say for certain; the only person that can truly know what lies in her heart is Murrue herself. However, I do believe that she returns your feelings, Heero… and that holding her affection back is hurting her as much as keeping your own passion for her at bay is doing so to you."

"What?" said Heero, his eyes widening, "I'm… I'm hurting Murrue?"

"Not intentionally, Heero," said Lacus, once again putting her hand on his shoulder, "I know that that is the last thing that you would ever do. But given just how passionately she fought for you today in the meeting, I can only imagine just how powerful her feelings for you are. The fire of her love that I believe she is keeping at bay… I'm betting it burns as strongly as the feelings you have for her. The struggle you've been putting yourself through to hold back your love for Miss Murrue… I imagine that she's going through something quite similar. This isn't directly your fault, Heero, nor is your own pain directly hers… but in suppressing your true feelings, I feel that you are both doing each other far more harm than good, especially now."

Heero nodded slowly; her using his own struggle to keep his emotions regarding Murrue at bay put things in perspective. If she really does feel the same way about me, he thought, then the pain I feel at holding back this passion… she'd be suffering that as well, or something close to it.

"Heero," Lacus continued, "I will not pretend to understand all that you have gone through in your life, and I know I lack the knowledge of the engagements you fought in during your last war, but I do not believe I am mistaken when I say that the coming battle will put your skills to the test, perhaps more so than any other fight. If you truly wish to survive and return to the woman you love, then you cannot allow yourself to have any doubts or regrets holding you back. The same goes for Murrue as well; she will be commanding the Archangel after all, and it along with the Eternal and the Kusanagi will play a vital part in the operation. Both of you must be fully focused, and your resolve must be ironclad… and there's only one way for you to do this."

"Heero," said Lacus firmly, her eyes narrowing, "you have to tell Murrue how you feel about her. You have to tell her that you love her."

It was the natural conclusion to Lacus's little speech, but it still rocked the Gundam pilot to his core. What Lacus was telling him to do was something he had absolutely no experience in doing; romance was certainly not his area of expertise. Yes, the bond he'd had with Relena back in his old world had bordered on the romantic, but in the end their relationship had been one of good friends brought together by unlikely circumstances. Heero had absolutely no idea how to confess romantic feelings to a woman; somehow he doubted it was a simple as just walking up to a girl and saying 'I love you'.

And there was more. His current relationship with Murrue, the incredibly strong friendship he had forged with her, was by itself valuable beyond measure to him. Though Lacus had stated her belief that Murrue did indeed love him, and the evidence was growing that she did indeed share Heero's feelings, the fact remained that there was still a chance that the beautiful Captain's affections for the Gundam pilot were not of a romantic nature. If Heero confessed to her only to find out that she did not feel the same way, would it in some way alter the dynamic between them? Would the bond they shared be altered, diminished, or maybe even destroyed?

That thought, the idea of possibly damaging or even breaking the bond he had with Murrue, scared Heero. It frightened him more than any battlefield foe ever had, more than any odds he had been forced to confront over his career as a soldier. It terrified him almost as much as he had been during the First Battle of Alaska when the Duel had lined up to take a shot at the Archangel's bridge, when it had been about to kill Murrue. If something went wrong this time, Heero doubted that Kira and the Freedom would be able to swoop in and save the day.

"Heero," said Lacus, startling him, "are you alright?"

The Perfect Soldier realized that his hands were shaking, and he was sure that the expression on his face reflected at least some of the fear that now gripped his heart, regardless of his attempts to suppress it. Unable to meet her gaze, he looked down at the floor. "I… I don't know, Lacus. I've… I've never done anything like this before. What… what am I supposed to do?"

"Simple," said Lacus, and as Heero looked back up at her he saw that she was smiling again, "be yourself, Heero. Granted, my own experience in this kind of situation is… limited, to say the least, but I believe that if you simply stay true to yourself when you talk to Miss Murrue, everything will be alright. Be the man you know you are; be the man she's fallen in love with."

Her words had a soothing affect on Heero, but they did not completely put him at ease. "I…I understand. Still… how do I do this?"

"That's entirely up to you, Heero," said Lacus, "I don't have much experience with this sort of thing, so there's very little I can offer you as far as advice goes. The best I can say is that I think you should tell her when the two of you are alone. Of course, I imagine that's quite often given how much time you two spend together. You should also do it somewhere that has a special meaning to you, though on board the Archangel the places that fit that criteria may be limited; it is a warship, after all, not to mention you and her have already spent months on board it. Finding a special place in such a setting may be a difficult task… still, I don't believe it's an impossible task."

"And Heero," she continued, her smile growing, "You don't have to do it right away. It will take us several days to move into position to launch the operation. Use that time to think things over, to figure out how you want to confess your feelings to Murrue. However, you must do so before the battle begins. After all… you may not get another chance."

She was right, especially given the odds he would be confronting during the battle. Heero knew that if he flew into the operation with any lingering doubts or regrets regarding his untold feelings for Murrue, he would likely not survive the mission.

The task before him was still quite difficult, given that it lay so far outside of what he was familiar with. However, Lacus's words had given him a place to start, a seed from which ideas could grow. Of course, planning out when and where he would tell Murrue how he felt about her was the easy part. Working up the courage to actually do the deed… well, that would be a much bigger challenge. Still, Lacus had helped provide him the beginnings of a framework for his confession, and that helped him regain some of his focus.

He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and let it out. The simple action helped him find a sense of stability, allowed him to regain his footing, as it were. He would still be treading upon unfamiliar ground in his upcoming confrontation with Murrue, but now that he had a place to start the task now seemed just a little bit less daunting. It would still take every ounce of strength and courage he could muster, though… but he had to do it.

For Murrue's sake, he thought, I have to. If Lacus is right, and she does indeed feel the same way about me as I do for her, then the longer I put this off, the longer she'll suffer the same anxiety and fear that I am. I refuse to put her through that pain any more. I won't be able to tell her right away, of course; I still need a little time to figure out how I'm going to do this. I will tell her before we launch our attack on the PLANTs, though, and not just so I'll be able to give my full focus to the coming battle; I'll do it for her.

He opened his eyes and met Lacus's gaze. "Lacus," he said quietly, "thank you."

The songstress smiled at him again. "You're very welcome, Heero. Will you be alright?"

Heero nodded. "I… I think so. It won't be easy… but I'll figure out a way to do this."

"I'm sure you will, Heero," Lacus replied, "you're a very brave and intelligent young man; I know you can do this."

Heero couldn't help but give a small chuckle. "Brave… that's the last thing I feel right now, Lacus."

"Perhaps now," said Lacus, "and I know that the task before you will not be easy… but I have faith in you, Heero. True bravery, as they say, comes from facing your fears, acknowledging them, and confronting them head on; I'm sure you've heard this before. It's alright to be scared, Heero; I know you'll find your courage when the time comes. Remember, the most important thing is that, no matter what happens, you be yourself. Do that, and I believe that everything else will come together. Be true to yourself… and true to Miss Murrue."

Heero nodded. "Any other pearls of wisdom?"

The look on the songstress's face became a little playful. "Well, perhaps nothing quite so profound… but one small bit of advice."

"I'll take whatever I can get," said Heero.

Lacus looked him up and down before meeting his gaze again, her smile still on her face. "That uniform… wearing it while making your confession couldn't hurt your chances. You look quite… dashing in it, if I do say so myself, and I don't think I'm wrong in my belief that Miss Murrue shares the sentiment. In fact, I'm sure Miss Murrue's feelings regarding it are considerably stronger than my own."

Heero looked down at himself. At the same time he thought back to his first visit to Orb with Murrue, when he had first worn the uniform. He recalled her reaction upon seeing him in the uniform of the Sanc Kingdom Royal Guard for the first time. She had certainly seemed to… appreciate it.

He looked back up at Lacus and gave her a small smile. "That simple, is it?"

"Oh no, not at all," said Lacus, shaking her head and giving a small laugh, "Heero, you know as well as I do that Miss Murrue would not care for someone just based upon appearance; she is far from a shallow woman. That being said, any woman can appreciate the figure you cut in that uniform, and I'm sure that Miss Murrue is no exception. The uniform merely adds just a tiny bit more weight to what I have no doubt will be a heavy and heartfelt confession on your part. It adds just a little more emphasis to the thought you have given the matter… it gives Miss Murrue another small sign of just how much you love her."

Heero nodded. "Alright; I'll keep that in mind."

"Good," said Lacus, "I'm glad to hear it. Now, shall we head back? I'm sure Miss Murrue must be concerned about you."

"Yeah," said Heero, "let's go."

As the two of them walked towards the exit of the lounge, an odd thought crossed Heero's mind, and he had to give voice to it. "Lacus," he said, turning to face the songstress, "my feelings for Murrue… was that the real reason you wished to speak to me alone?"

Lacus simply smiled. She did not verbally reply to his query… and she didn't need to; her silent sincerity was all the answer Heero needed.

….

"Care for a little company, Captain Ramius?"

Murrue jumped slightly in her seat as the voice shook her from her thoughts and brought her back to the here and now. Heero and Lacus had been gone for awhile now, and while her trust in the Gundam pilot, along with the songstress, remained strong, she still could not help but be a little worried. It was a natural emotional response for a woman in love when the man that had captured her heart was alone with another girl, even if the young lady he was with had subtly tried to convey to Murrue that she had no designs of her own on the incredible pilot she cared so deeply for.

Murrue looked up and saw none other than the Desert Tiger's lover standing in front of her. A small, warm smile was on her face, though there was a small glint of amusement in her emerald eyes.

Murrue nodded and returned the smile, hoping she did not appear to be too flustered. "I'd like that, Miss Aisha. Please, sit down."

The black-haired beauty nodded and took the seat next to Murrue, and the Archangel's Captain could not help but notice that it was the chair that Heero had occupied before leaving the conference room. It should've meant nothing, but it once again drew Murrue's mind towards the Gundam pilot and his current absence from the conference room.

"I'd hoped we'd get the chance to chat a little," said Aisha, "Andy and I heard a lot about you from Kira during his stay in the PLANTs. That boy thinks highly of you, both as the Archangel's Captain and as a person."

"I'm honored that he feels that way," said Murrue, "truth be told, I wouldn't blame him if he resented me. After all, I played a major role in tearing him away from the peaceful life he enjoyed before coming on board the Archangel…before being dragged into our war."

Aisha shook her head. "I can assure you that he feels nothing of the sort, Captain Ramius. Kira told us all about the attack on Heliopolis, and we know how you pushed him into the Strike's cockpit during the fighting. You did that to protect him, and you had no idea at the time that he was a Coordinator; to you he was simply a civilian caught in the crossfire. I'm not mistaken in that, am I?"

Murrue shook her head. "No, you're not, Miss Aisha. My actions were to protect that boy, but… what happened next was another matter."

"I wouldn't put it that way," said Aisha, "it's true that you took Kira and his friends on board the Archangel against their will, but you did not have much choice in the matter; they had witnessed highly classified military equipment and secrets, and you had to confine them until you could figure out the best way to deal with the situation. Even then, you still treated them well, more as passengers than as prisoners."

"Perhaps," said Murrue, looking down, "but when ZAFT continued the attack, I pushed Kira into piloting the Strike again… I pulled him deeper into the conflict; I sent a civilian into battle!"

"I don't think Kira sees it that way," said Aisha, "and neither do I. From what that boy said, you gave him the choice of piloting the Strike or not. Of course, if he had not done so there was a strong likelihood that you all would have perished then, but the fact remains that you still gave him a chance to refuse. From then on he piloted that mobile suit to protect his friends, and he did it of his own free will. You gave him the chance to leave before the orbital battle, but he stayed along with his friends because they wanted to make a difference, to help bring the war to an end. From the moment he came on board the Archangel you treated him with respect, courtesy, and kindness, and I know he's grateful for that, Captain Ramius."

Murrue looked back up at the woman and smiled. "Thank you, Miss Aisha. Hearing that… well, it means a great deal to me."

Aisha nodded and returned the smile. "You're very welcome, Captain Ramius."

The two women were quiet for a moment before Murrue spoke up. "Tell me, was Kira's opinion of me the only reason you came over here?"

Aisha shook her head. "It wasn't, really. I saw you over here earlier talking with Heero before Lacus came along and joined you two. I know that girl's been wanting to speak with him for awhile now; she's a very inquisitive young lady, and considering that Heero's from another world I'm sure there's a lot she wants to ask him. Anyway, I saw her take off with that young man in tow, and you've just been sitting here by yourself since then." Aisha gave her a wink. "As you're one of Andy's guests, I felt it would be wrong just to leave you here by your lonesome. I hope you don't mind the intrusion, or my earlier spying."

"Not at all, Miss Aisha," said Murrue, "I appreciate your concern."

"It's the least I can give you," said Aisha, "you're one of our most important allies in this struggle, and you deserve personal consideration."

"Your attitude is quite generous," said Murrue, "forgive me if this sounds rude, but… well, given our prior history, I'm a little surprised at it."

Aisha laughed softly. "Ah, our battles in North Africa… those feel like just yesterday, and yet at the same time they're almost a distant memory. Rest assured, Captain Ramius, I do not feel any sense of lingering animosity towards you or any of your pilots and crew regarding the fighting that took place in the former Libya and Egypt, not does Andy. He and I both know that you were a soldier and the commanding officer of a warship doing her best to survive and keep those serving with her alive as well, and we do not hold it against you at all. Your conduct in the fighting was professional, unlike the actions that have been undertaken of late by the Alliance and ZAFT."

Murrue nodded. "I'm glad to hear that, Miss Aisha. As for the Alliance and ZAFT now… honestly, it appalls me to watch the depths that both sides are willing to sink to in their desire to completely destroy each other. It's disgusting… I almost want to throw up just thinking about it."

"I feel the same way," said Aisha, her tone solemn, "that's why it's so important that we all come together like we've done so today. In cooperation and trust lies our hope for the future survival and friendship for our races. That's the belief espoused by Lacus and her late father, and it's what all of us in the moderate faction have embraced."

"As have the rest of us," said Murrue, "we're all ready to fight for a future in which both Coordinators and Naturals can live together in peace, We'll do all we can to help you and Field Marshal Waltfeld achieve the dream of Miss Clyne and her father."

Aisha smiled. "Thank you, Captain Ramius; your words mean a great deal to me."

Murrue nodded. "You're quite welcome, Miss Aisha."

"Please, Captain," she replied, "just call me Aisha." She laughed softly. "The 'Miss' bit makes me sound old, and while I'm not as young as our songstress and Orb's hotheaded princess I'm not exactly far along either. And besides, I don't like it when my friends use formalities for me, and I think you and I will get along quite well in the coming days."

Murrue smiled. "Very well, Aisha. In return, please feel free to call me Murrue, at least in this sort of setting."

"Not a fan of formalities either, are you?" said Aisha.

"Not among friends," Murrue replied.

Aisha nodded. "You're a very accepting and trusting person, Murrue. I'm glad you're the one that wound up commanding the Archangel."

"It wasn't supposed to be like that," said Murrue, "the senior command staff were killed during the attack on Heliopolis, including the original Captain; I was simply the highest ranking survivor."

"Perhaps," said Aisha, "but still, don't sell yourself short, Murrue; the fact that the Archangel and her crew have survived up until now is testament to your skills as a leader."

"Maybe," said Murrue softly. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering Tolle's death in the Marshall Islands, the apparent death of Kira, and the departures of Flay and Natarle at Alaska. She then opened her eyes before speaking again. "I did the best I could to keep everyone together, to protect them all in what manner I could during our journey. Unfortunately, we didn't get through entirely unscathed, and I bear responsibility for that. One of my pilots… a friend of Kira's from Heliopolis… died in battle. Two other crew members were taken via transfer at Alaska, and the rest of us did not get through our voyage unscathed, whether it was physically or emotionally. We all took wounds of one form or another…"

"And every blow your crew took," said Aisha, "whether to the body or the soul, you felt as though you were taking as well. Am I right?"

Murrue's eyes widened at the woman's insights. Aisha smiled softly at her reaction. "I may be Andy's partner and lover, but I have also lead teams of my own into battle. I know what it means to see those serving under you get hurt or even killed, and so does Andy. It's the last thing we want, but we know that it is inevitable in war time, and we must have the strength to endure that burden that comes with leading people into battle. In front of our fellow officers and crew we can show no sign of pain; we must constantly project the image of strength and authority. That constant struggle to hide our true feelings wears on us very quickly, something I'm sure you're well aware of."

Murrue nodded. "Yes… that's true, every word of it. Tell me… how did you shoulder that burden?"

"Partly by reminding myself that I had to stay strong for the sake of those serving under me," she replied, "if I allowed myself to be overcome by despair, then the people I was leading would die, along with many others. The determination to keep both those serving under and others beyond them alive helped me power through the pain."

"I see," said Murrue, "I know that feeling, believe me."

"Oh, I do, Murrue," said Aisha, "you may not be aware of this, but everyone else can see the strength that flows from your heart and soul, your determination to keep the people around you alive. There's a certain sense of warmth around; you exude both courage and compassion. I imagine your subordinates have taken great comfort in it during times of hardship."

Murrue smiled. She wasn't aware that she was projecting that sort of energy towards others. Am I doing it unconsciously?, she thought, Has it become reflexive for me at this point?

"I appreciate that, Aisha," said Murrue, "You said that determination was part of what helped you shoulder the burden of leadership. Tell me, what was the other?"

"Simple, Murrue," said Aisha, "I had people close to me that I could rely on, lean on when the burden became too great to shoulder alone. It wasn't just Andy, though he helped considerably, and I served the same role for him. I had good friends in Shemei and her fellow pilots, and other people both in the armed forces and among civilians. So long as we're willing to open our hearts to the people we care about, they'll be more than willing to do the same, while at the same time giving us much needed support in trying times. It is in that companionship, I believe, that we find the true source of our strength."

Murrue felt a familiar rush of heat go to her face as her mind flashed back to that night over the Pacific Ocean after the battle in the Marshall Islands. She saw herself lying in her bed, in Heero's arms, taking comfort in the Gundam pilot's strong embrace as she at last allowed the guilt and sorrow she had held back from the others for Tolle's death and Kira's apparent demise to finally come to the surface.

I was at my worst that day, she thought, it was all I could do to maintain my composure in front of the crew. When I was alone with Heero, I could no longer keep my despair at bay. I no longer had the strength to hold back my guilt… and so he gave me his. He accepted my weakness without any judgment, and gave me shelter and protection from my despair in his arms. He held me close, took my burden onto his shoulders… and gave me the strength to fight on.

"Yes…" she said softly, "I… I know what you mean, Aisha."

A knowing smile appeared on the black-haired woman's face. "As the commanding officer of the Archangel you would naturally have very few people that you could truly turn to for personal comfort, what with military regulations and all… but you found someone that lay outside the chain of command, didn't you?"

Murrue's eyes widened, and if she hadn't been blushing before she knew she definitely was now. "What are… what are you implying?"

Aisha giggled mischievously. "Oh, Murrue, there's no need for you to be feign ignorance here. Your actions since you've come on board the Eternal have not gone unnoticed… especially with regards to Wing Zero's pilot."

Murrue glanced around the room to make sure that no one else was paying attention to them before turning back to Aisha, lowering her voice. "It… it's not like that…"

"Perhaps not entirely," Aisha replied, hushing her tone as well, "I'm not inexperienced when it comes to the art of love; I can tell when a couple has consummated a relationship. You and Heero have not gotten that far, and aren't even a couple yet… but you want him, Murrue. You can deny it to the others… but not to me."

Murrue hesitated for a moment before recalling the silent exchange she'd had with the Tiger's lover shortly after her arrival on the Eternal. The black haired beauty had observed her reactions towards all the female attention Heero had been receiving after they'd left the shuttle, and Murrue knew that she had caught how she had interrupted Lan before she could continue on what was certainly turning into a… lascivious line of conversation. Murrue had known then that the former ZAFT pilot had suspicions regarding her and Heero, but she did not know just how deep they went.

Murrue sighed before giving Aisha a weak smile. "So… you did figure it out, didn't you?"

Aisha nodded. "Your attitude and demeanor down in the hangar, your cutting Lan off midstream, the way you acted around him during the meeting, your passionate opposition to what we wanted him to do in the coming operation… all that together will lead an experienced woman to only a few conclusions, and I believe mine is right. Murrue… you love Heero, don't you?"

Murrue nodded. "Yes… I do. I… I understand if that gives you pause, what with the age gap between us."

Aisha shook her head and smiled. "Not at all, Captain Ramius. From what I've observed, along with what Kira said regarding the two of you during his stay in Aprilius One, it's obvious that the two of you care very deeply for each other. You have a very strong bond with him, and it's only natural that your feelings for him would evolve in a more romantic direction. He's strong, brave, cunning, and he has that certain calm and cool aloofness about him that would draw in the curious. He's also one handsome devil, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"Believe me, I'm well aware of that," said Murrue, her face once again flushing deep red, "but… that's not the only reason I've fallen for him. There's… there's so much more to him than just the qualities you mentioned. Yes, he is a phenomenal pilot and a brilliant soldier, not to mention very good looking… but he has deeper qualities, ones that draw me to him like nothing else ever could."

"I'm sure I could imagine a few of those," said Aisha, "still, I'd like to hear it from you."

Murrue closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her thoughts. She then opened them and began speaking. "Heero… he's lived a life of incredible hardship and pain. He's gone through struggles and trials that would've broken lesser men, if not outright killed them, but he's survived. More importantly, through everything he's experienced, all the battle's he's fought in, he's still managed to hold on to his humanity. That calm and cool aloofness you mentioned earlier is a defense mechanism; it's not the real Heero. Underneath that reserve is an incredibly gentle and compassionate young man. He's selfless beyond anything I've ever seen before, and he's gone to incredible lengths to protect me. His loyalty… it's amazing how strong it is, Aisha. He truly values the bond we've forged… and the devotion he's shown me because of that bond has been nothing short of divine. The true Heero is a kind and compassionate young man, one that would take on Heaven and Hell in the name of protecting the people he cares about. The fact that he's held onto his warm heart despite all he's suffered… it's a miracle, Aisha."

"I can't tell you what he's gone through," she continued, "Heero told me about his past in confidence, and I will never betray the trust he gave me. All you need to know is that he endured pain the likes of which no human should ever have to face, and it scarred him deeply… but he still held onto his humanity despite that. He became stronger, and adopted those layers of stoicism as a response to the pain, but beneath it all he refused to let go of his warm heart… and that's why I love him."

Aisha smiled. "I thought it was deeper than simply looks and ability. You don't strike me as a shallow woman, Murrue; what's within someone's heart and mind is just as important to you as their appearance and skills. That's why I don't take issue with the age gap between you and Heero; you're not the type to go after a young man like him just for his body. You love him for who he is as a person." Her smile then became more than a little playful. "Of course, that doesn't mean you're immune to your more… carnal desires."

Aisha's words only served to deepen the already considerable blush on Murrue's face. "No… I suppose I'm not. Do you… do you think it's wrong… that I feel this way about him?"

"Not at all, Murrue," said Aisha, "he's a very handsome young man, after all... and I can only imagine what the fire of his loyalty towards you would turn into in the bedroom. More to the point, it's not wrong for your desire for him to include your more… physical needs… because you could never truly take advantage of him; the bond between the two of you runs too deep for that. If the two of you became intimate, then that intimacy would be of equals, of lovers, Murrue."

Murrue smiled, recalling the words Dr. Claudia had spoken to her when they had discussed her feelings for Heero while the young man in question had lain unconscious mere inches away from her. "Another woman," she said, "my counselor officer, told me something along those lines, Aisha."

"And she wasn't wrong," said Aisha, her smile once again becoming warmer and softer, losing its mischievous edge. Her expression then became one of concern and curiosity. "Murrue, if you don't mind me asking, why haven't you told Heero how you feel about him? I can tell that the passion you have for him is truly strong; why hold it back after all this time?"

Murrue sighed. "Because… I'm afraid of what would happen if I did, Aisha. Heero has no romantic experience to speak of; his entire life has been spent trying to survive from one battlefield to the next. No one has truly loved him before, and he's never been able to truly explore the feelings that lie within his own heart. I know that he values the bond we have more than anything else in this world, and it's why he's stayed on board the Archangel as long as he has. His friendship is invaluable to me, and…"

"You're afraid that if something goes wrong, that friendship could be ruined," Aisha finished for her.

Murrue nodded. "Yes… though there's more to it than that. Heero… I can't be certain, but I think he has feelings for me as well. My counselor officer certainly believes so… and there is evidence to support that. His protectiveness towards me, the way he selflessly supports me, gives me strength when I need it, his loyalty and devotion for the bond we share… he might actually love me, Aisha."

Aisha smiled. "Murrue… I think he does as well. The way he looked at you during the meeting, the way he argued for you as our military leader until you told him that you did not want that role, the way he subsequently backed down and supported your decision… and the way he watched you as you argued on his behalf against us pushing him into the most dangerous role in the upcoming operation. It was subtle, but I saw it, Murrue; there was gratitude in his eyes… and affection. He truly does care for you, and may well return your feelings." Her expression then became more serious. "You yourself have acknowledged that possibility… so why the hesitation, Murrue?"

Murrue looked down. "I… I don't want to rush him. If… if I am the first woman he's truly fallen in love with, then I want to give him time to really understand his feelings. I want him to process them for himself, and act on them when he's ready."

"That's very understanding of you," said Aisha, "but… something tells me this has been going on for quite awhile now, hasn't it? You've known for a considerable amount of time now that you love him, and you've also had the suspicion that he feels something for you as well, haven't you?"

"What makes you say that?" asked Murrue.

"It's in your interactions with him," she replied, "no one would doubt that you two care for each other, but there's also a sense of restrain, hesitancy… and tension, Murrue. I don't doubt that the love you have for Heero is very strong… but now there's worry mixed in with it, isn't there?"

Murrue sighed, knowing that the Tiger's lover had hit the nail right on the head. "Yes… you're right. I love Heero, I think he loves me, and I've been trying to give him time to come to terms with those feelings… but while that time passes my own passion grows within, and there's only so much I can do to keep it under control. At the same time, I find myself wondering if… if…"

"If Heero will ever actually tell you how he feels about you?" asked Aisha.

Murrue couldn't help but smile slightly. "You're getting good at finishing my sentences for me, Aisha."

"Because I've been where you are before," she replied, "Not with a younger man, mind you; Andy's older than me. However, I understand what it's like to be in love with someone, to suspect that they share your feelings, but don't know for sure… and to wait for them to make their move."

Murrue nodded. "If that's the case… then you surely know how much this uncertainty is killing me."

"I think I have an idea," said Aisha, nodding, "you're torn between letting him act on his own emotions and confronting him yourself. You're also worried that you may in fact be mistaken, that his feelings for you are not in fact romantic and just those of a strong platonic friendship. Does that sound about right, Murrue?"

"That's it exactly," said Murrue softly, "I… I don't have absolute certainty that Heero shares my feelings, and that frightens me. I want to believe he does, and his behavior towards me over the course of our travels does give me evidence of that… but I don't have one-hundred percent certainty. I don't know if he's simply facing the same fears I am or if I've misjudged his feelings altogether."

"For what it's worth, Murrue," said Aisha, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I don't think you've misread Heero's feelings towards you. You wouldn't be as effective a commander as you are if you could not gauge the emotions of the people under your command, and while Heero may not officially be one of your subordinates he has consented to follow your instructions. You're also a mature woman, and would I be wrong in assuming that you have experienced love before?"

Murrue nodded. "I've had a few relationships, people that I've cared for romantically… but none as strongly as I do for Heero."

"Of course you haven't," said Aisha, smiling, "yours is an affection sown and nurtured in the fires of war. More importantly, you and he have together been forced to take on forces far larger than those at your disposal, have confronted odds that would've killed anyone else, yet the two of you survived. Through that process it's hardly a surprise that the feelings you have for him have become so powerful… and I believe that you were not the only one affected by it; I'm sure Heero's affection for you has only been further stoked by the near-constant danger the two of you have found yourselves in since you first met."

Murrue smiled, Aisha's words having a slight calming effect on her nerves. The fact that she was the second person, and another mature woman at that, to voice the belief that Heero did indeed return her feelings was a considerable confidence booster. "I'm glad you feel that way, Aisha. It… it helps to hear that from someone else."

"I'm sure it does," said Aisha, nodding, "like I said earlier, I've experienced the same uncertainty before that you're feeling now."

"Between you and Waltfeld," said Murrue, "if you don't mind me asking, what finally brought you two together?"

"The threat of death," said Aisha matter-of-factly.

Murrue was surprised by the response; she had not expected Aisha to reply so readily, or so bluntly. "Would… would you care to elaborate, please?"

"Sure," said Aisha, smiling, "it's an old tale now, one I don't mind retelling. I had actually fallen for Andy early in our days at the ZAFT academy, and I eventually found out that he had felt the same way regarding me, but neither of us had been able to work up the nerve to confront the other about it until close to the final exercises."

"I'm not sure I see how the threat of death plays into academy exercises," said Murrue, "I mean, if they're live fire sessions there's always the chance of an accident, and I can see that serving as a possible motivator, but any military takes sensible precautions to minimize the risk of a fatal accident."

"Quite true, Murrue," said Aisha, "but our graduating class had a special exercise for the students in the top percentile. Waltfeld and I were among those cadets that were chosen for it, as were Shemei and Eric."

"What was the exercise?" asked Murrue.

"A live-fire skirmish with target drones in the Styx Field," said Aisha.

"What's the Styx Field?" asked Murrue.

"The ruins of a large asteroid that had been converted into a resource satellite," Aisha replied, "it was out at the edge of L5, and a reactor malfunction caused the whole thing to explode way back in 56 C.E. Anyway, our class had been assigned to fly the space-fighters we were using back then out in that debris field against several squadrons of training drones. We had live ammo, while the drones had paint rounds and electronic simulation missiles; basically, if it got you in a lock, you had a few seconds to execute evasive maneuvers and deploy countermeasures before you were automatically designated as 'killed'. The drones weren't the deadly part; it was all the rock fragments from the resource satellite."

"Now I see," said Murrue, nodding, "the armor on the space-fighters used back then wasn't very tough, and it was one of the reasons why ZAFT worked so hard to develop mobile suits. A small fragment moving fast enough could seriously damage a craft, if not destroy it, and that's not even counting the larger fragments floating around. Even with all possible precautions there was no way the trainers could make the area anywhere near safe. Hell, that's probably one of the deadliest live-fire space warfare exercises I've ever heard of!"

"Exactly," said Aisha, nodding, "our instructors felt we had the skills to complete the exercise, but there was just no denying that it would be far more dangerous than any of the other live-fire sessions we had done before. I'm sure every cadet that had been chosen for it was contemplating their mortality by the time the briefing was done. I know I was… and, as it turned out, so was Andy."

Murrue smiled, realizing where Aisha was heading. "He wasn't afraid of his own death though, wasn't he? He was afraid of losing you."

Aisha smiled. "Correct, Murrue. He came to my quarters that night; the top cadets were all moved to solo accommodations for the final period of training. Things had been building up between us for quite awhile by then; we'd been on a couple dates, and had teased each other a considerable amount of time before that."

Her smile became nostalgic, and Murrue could see her mind drifting back into the past. "He was always so relaxed and confident, laid-back and witty… not that night, though. I could see the fear in him; he wasn't even trying to hide it. We'd been assigned to operate as a wing pair in the exercise, and he was the flight lead… meaning he bore responsibility for my life. That was a pressure that tore at him like nothing else ever could, and he was terrified that he'd make a mistake, a bad call that would result in my death. I reassured him that he would do nothing of the sort; I had complete faith in his abilities, just as you do with Heero, Murrue. Still, he was afraid… and that fear had finally compelled him to act on the feelings within his heart. Eventually he took me in his arms, looked me in the eye, and told me that he could never live with himself if he allowed any harm to come to me… because he loved me. After that…" Her smile took on a naughty edge. "Well, let's just say I didn't let him leave my room until dawn."

"I… I see," said Murrue, her face once again warming considerably. It wasn't images of Aisha and her lover that were running through her head, though; it was flashes of her and Heero as she imagined the two of them in rather…compromising positions.

"Murrue," said Aisha, drawing her attention back to her companion, "you situation with Heero is not entirely dissimilar from mine with Andy all those years ago. The shadow of death hangs over the two of you… now more than ever."

Murrue nodded. "Yes… although I will not be exposed to nearly as much danger as Heero will be. If the gaze of the Reaper falls on anyone in this mission, it's him."

"A fact that he is no doubt aware of," said Aisha, "along with the fact that if he fails, your life could well be endangered as a result. I won't pretend to know what kind of battles he fought in up until now… but would I be wrong in saying that this one would rank close to the top of the list of the deadliest engagements Heero's ever been involved with?"

Murrue shook her head, recalling all the battles she had been through with Heero, along with the campaigns he'd told her about regarding his own war in his old world. "You're not wrong at all, Aisha. Blitzing the Avalon Line, taking out that battle-station, breaking into Aprilius One… this may well be the deadliest mission Heero's ever undertaken."

"A fact emphasized by your reaction towards the role that we've asked him to play," said Aisha, "your impassioned argument against him being the spearhead of the strike team made one thing very clear to us all, Murrue; you fear for Heero's survival…as Andy did for mine."

"I do," said Murrue, "but… I don't mean to belittle your experience, Aisha, but this is so far beyond what happened between you and Waltfeld back then… and the dynamics between us are quite different."

"Of course, Murrue," said Aisha, an understanding smile on her face, "and I take no offense at that, believe me. The situation here is vastly more dangerous… and the balance that exists in the bond between you and Heero is fundamentally different than that which lay between Andy and I before we hooked up. We may have been younger back then, but we were still adults who both fully knew what love was, and what we wanted from each other. You have that understanding, but as you said before, Heero does not; you've been giving him time to fully explore his feelings, to learn what it truly means to be in love. That speaks volumes of just how much you care for him, Murrue, and is a true show of your inner nobility… but now time for both of you is running out."

Her expression became more serious as she continued. "Murrue, from what you've told me, it's quite clear that this operation will present quite possibly the gravest threat to his life that Heero has ever faced. It will be incredibly dangerous to all of us, of course, but Heero by far tops the list of those most likely to die in the coming battle. You are well of aware of that, and I'm sure he is to… and I can already see how that knowledge is weighing upon you."

"Of course it is!" said Murrue, struggling to keep her voice down in order to avoid drawing attention from the others, "Your lover wants Heero to lead a raid on the most heavily defended area in all of outer space! Not only that, but he wants Heero to take on a battle-station that can destroy entire colonies with a single shot, and that's not counting all the mobile suits it holds or the capital ships and their mobile suits that are supporting the fortress. And after that he wants the man I love to break into the heart of your homeland and bust the parents of his rival out of a high-security prison! Aisha, forgive me, but you can't possibly know how heavy that knowledge is weighing on my shoulders! Yes, Heero's done the impossible before, and has practically made a reputation out of it, but the odds you and your friends want him to take on now are suicidal even by his standards!'

"I know, Murrue," said Aisha softly, looking down, "believe me, none of us are thrilled about asking this of him… but that doesn't change the fact that he's the only one with a shot in hell at pulling it off. Heero himself said he could do it, though it would be very difficult… and you did throw your support behind him."

"Of course I did!" said Murrue, putting much more effort now into keeping her voice low, "What would that say to Heero if I doubted him? I have to show him that I believe in him, to let him know that no matter what happens I've always got his back. Do I think he can do this? Yes, I do… but that does not change the fact that it will be quite possibly the deadliest assignment he's ever undertaken. My faith in his phenomenal abilities as a pilot and a soldier does not change the fact that this mission stands a good chance of killing the man I love!"

"Yes, Murrue," said Aisha, "which is why neither you nor Heero can afford to go into this battle with any lingering doubts or regrets in your minds."

"Aisha…" said Murrue, "what… what are you saying?"

"I think you know what I'm getting at, Murrue," Aisha replied, a soft smile on her face, "before we begin the operation, you and Heero have to resolve the tension that's been building between you two. You have to tell each other how you truly feel."

Murrue closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself process what Aisha had told her. It made sense, of course… but it presented a new set of challenges.

"How, Aisha?" she asked, "I can't just thrust something like that upon Heero, especially considering how the operation must be weighing on his mind. He needs to be able to focus…"

"Which he won't be able to do as he is now," said Aisha, "Murrue, I told you earlier that I believe Heero shares your feelings… which means he also shares your doubts. He's well aware of the odds he must face in this mission… and I have no doubt that it's brought his own mortality to the fore. I doubt he fears for his own life per se, but were he to die without revealing to you the feelings he holds for you within his heart… well, I'm sure he's thinking about that now. The same goes for you, Murrue; can you honestly tell me that you'll be able to play your own part in the operation to the best of your abilities as you are now, with the doubts in your heart and mind?"

Murrue shook her head, knowing her companion was right. "No… I won't, Aisha. I'll be too focused on Heero, my own feelings for him, whether or not I should've acted on them before the battle… I'll be distracted, and I could get everyone killed because of that."

"Exactly," said Aisha, "and I think Heero will be confronted with the same problem… and the same solution as I've given you."

Murrue's eyes widened. "Aisha… what are you…"

"Hear me out, Murrue," said Aisha, smiling again, "It will take us several days to get into position to begin our strike on the Avalon Line; probably close to a week tops. In that time not only will we be traveling and evading ZAFT patrols, but also running drills to increase the cohesion and cooperative abilities of our forces. That will be most important for Heero and Shemei's former subordinates; they've never flown together as a unit after all. Anyway, most of our travel time will be spent running exercises with our mobile suits to prepare for the raid, along with some drills on our warships. However, I know Andy will want everyone to be well-rested on the final approach, so the last forty-eight hours or so of travel will probably not include exercises. In that time period is when you and Heero must bring your feelings out into the open."

Murrue nodded slowly. "Alright… but… how should I do it?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" said Aisha, "You may not be the only one who wants to confess, Murrue."

"Heero…" said Murrue softly, her face flushing red, "Aisha, do you truly think…"

"I can't speak with certainty, Murrue," Aisha replied, "but I do have a plan that I think you should use."

"I'm listening," said Murrue.

"Give Heero a little more time to move on his own, to act on his emotions," said Aisha, "however, if he hasn't done so before you turn in to rest on the last night before the operation begins… then you need to be the one that initiates things. Ask to speak with him in private before he goes to bed; I'm sure he'll grant you that request. From there… follow your heart, Murrue. Remember, if he hasn't already made a move by then, it's not necessarily because he doesn't love you; as you said before, he has no experience with romance, and he may be uncertain as to how he should act on his feelings. However… make sure you give him as much time as you can before 'nightfall' to move on his own." Her smile then became playful. "Who knows, Murrue; he may surprise you."

"Yes," said Murrue, smiling as images of the young man she loved flashed through her mind, "he may well do so…"

"And speak of the handsome devil," said Aisha, looking over Murrue's shoulder, causing the Archangel's Captain to jump in her seat. Looking over her shoulder, Murrue saw Heero and Lacus reenter the conference room, and she knew she had only seconds before they approached her and Aisha.

"Remember, Murrue," Aisha whispered quickly, "give him a little more time, but not too much. And above all… follow your heart."

Murrue nodded, and the two women then turned to greet Heero and Lacus as they approached. Murrue looked at the two teenagers and smiled. "Welcome back you two," she said, "was your conversation productive?"

"Quite so, Captain Ramius," said Lacus, giving her a warm smile, "Heero's insights were as valuable as I'd thought they'd be, if not more so. Thank you for letting me borrow him."

Murrue returned the smile with a genuine one of her own; there was just something about the young lady's sincerity that let her know that she had indeed not taken advantage of the alone time with Heero to make a move on the Gundam pilot. "Of course, Miss Clyne."

Lacus then turned and smiled at Heero as well. "And thank you, Heero. I will keep your words in mind as we move forward in our campaign."

Heero simply nodded before turning towards Murrue and Aisha. "Are we interrupting anything?"

"Oh no, not at all," said Aisha, standing up, "I was just having a lovely chat with Murrue." She then turned and smiled at Murrue. "I daresay we're already becoming friends."

Murrue nodded. "Yes, I agree. I enjoyed our conversation, Aisha, and I look forward to speaking with you again sometime."

"Same here, Murrue," said Aisha. She then turned to the pink-haired songstress. "Lacus, your timing is excellent; I was hoping to have a word with you."

"Sure, Miss Aisha," said Lacus. She looked over at Heero and Murrue. "Thank you for your time, both of you. Take care."

Murrue and Heero both nodded. "You're welcome," said Murrue, "we'll see you around, Miss Clyne."

As the two ladies headed off towards another part of the conference room Heero returned to his seat next to Murrue. "I'm sorry I left you for so long; Lacus had a lot she wanted to ask me about."

Murrue gave him a warm smile. "It's quite alright, Heero. Besides, I really can't blame her wanting to speak with you; I'm sure all the things you've experienced both in our war and your own gave you a valuable perspective into the questions she had, and helped her greatly."

Heero nodded. "They did. I was glad to be able to help, and I know Lacus will need all the support she can get in the days ahead considering her role with Cagalli as a leader in our organization."

"That's right," said Murrue, "she may not be able to act in a military capacity like most of us, but that does not mean her position is any less important or challenging; she has her own burdens to deal with."

"Yeah…" said Heero.

The two of them were quiet for a moment before Heero turned to Murrue, and the beautiful Captain could not help but notice a mix of emotions in the Gundam pilot's eyes. She could still see the same calm courage and strength that had sustained her throughout their journey together, but within them now were flickers of concern, apprehension… and, dare she believe it, affection.

"Murrue," said Heero softly, "I… I want you to know that, no matter what happens next… I'll do all I can to support you as we move forward. I swore to protect you back in North Africa, and I'll keep that vow even if it kills me. If… if you need anything, Murrue, you only have to ask."

Murrue smiled, touched by his words, and once again felt her face warming considerably. The young man had been slightly hesitant in his word choice, and Murrue could not help but feel that maybe, just maybe, he was struggling to keep himself from blurting out something else entirely… the same thing that she was holding within her heart; his true emotions.

Aisha's words echoed in her head; "Give Heero a little more time to move on his own, to act on his emotions…"

I will, Aisha, she thought, it's true that this uncertainty is killing me, but… I'll wait a little longer. And I think… no, I believe... my faith in him will be rewarded.

For now, she simply responded to Heero's heartfelt words by taking his hand in hers. "Heero… that means the world to me, it truly does. You've had my back ever since we met… and I'll do the same for you. I'll protect you, support you… just as you've done for me."

The Gundam pilot's eyes widened slightly at her words before he simply nodded and gave her another one of his small smiles. "Murrue… thank you."

Murrue's smile grew, and she gave his hand a tight squeeze as she replied. "You are most welcome, Heero."

….

Leaning back in the pilot's seat, Heero studied the readings on Wing Zero's main monitors. Five full days had passed since the meeting on board the Eternal, and though the three warships had spent that time carefully maneuvering past ZAFT patrols as they moved to get into position for their strike on the Coordinator homeland, Heero and his fellow mobile suit pilots had not been sitting by idly. The six nuclear powered mobile suits that would make up the Avalon strike team had been running precision flying exercises for much of the trip, getting a handle on how their fellow pilots operated and refining their team work, with the three warships also participating from time to time. The Valkyrie girls naturally had little problem working together since they had been together for so long, while Athrun, Kira, and Heero were already beginning to adapt to each others' tendencies, but for the six pilots operating as a single cohesive unit was another matter entirely.

Things were a little rough on the first day, Heero thought, but we've come a long way in a very short amount of time since then. Waltfeld was right in having us run through so many exercises; we've gotten a much better handle on how our fellow pilots operate now. Blitzing the Avalon Line will be hard enough as is; if we couldn't operate as a team then the mission would be doomed before it started.

Now unit cohesion was no longer an issue. Heero had been particularly impressed by how Adaline, Lan, and Priscilla had so quickly adapted to flying in formation with him and backing him up. The fact that all three girls flew the same type of mobile suit made it easier for Heero to adjust his flying style and integrate himself into their team, and they in turn had been able to tweak their combat techniques to further enhance the already incredible power of Wing Zero.

Heero was also impressed with how readily the three girls had accepted him as their team leader in light of Commander Rehema's absence. I know they said they respected me, he thought, but I still expected them to have a little bit of difficulty with following the commands of a pilot that they had previously fought against. That hadn't been the case in the least; from the moment they had begun their first flight drill together the three girls had followed any orders he'd given without the slightest bit of hesitation. They may have had their individual personality quirks, but all three operated as true combat professionals, and Heero found himself musing that, much like the Valkyrie herself, they would've been right at home with him and the other four Gundam pilots.

As for Kira and Athrun, the two of them were already familiar to a degree with Heero's fighting style and had fought under him before, but integrating them with the Valkyrie girls had been a little more difficult. Athrun had experience in fighting as part of a unit, but his more somber nature, combined with the increased independence the powerful Justice gave him, had resulted in a few personality clashes with the Valkyrie girls. As for Kira, his flat refusal to kill had likewise put him at odds with his more practical teammates, but eventually everyone had been able to work past their differences. The fact that Heero commanded the respect of all the pilots in the strike team helped considerably to smooth things over between the Valkyrie girls and Kira and Athrun.

Now the six pilots were flying like they had been operating together for months. Heero mused that it was not entirely unlike his own experience with his fellow Gundam pilots during the final campaigns of the Eve Wars. Their personalities and fighting styles may have been different, but they had still been able to set aside their differences and were now working together as a team. It wasn't lost on Heero that he was serving as the magnet holding the team together, a role he had shared with Quatre back in his old world.

How strange, he mused, I never really considered myself to be a leader. I'm not charismatic like Treize, Zechs, or Quatre, and I never saw myself as having a magnetic personality. I guess their respect for me is really that strong…

It was now the sixth day since the conference on board the Eternal, but unlike the previous five there had been no exercises for either the pilots or the three warships. Waltfeld had ordered that priority be given to making sure that all ships and mobile suits were in proper fighting order before the time came to launch the attack, and the same went for the pilots. In other words, Heero and his fellow mobile suit pilots were to spend the day running maintenance checks with the hangar crews on their machines before resting up for tomorrow's operation.

Heero had obeyed the first order… but not the second. He was still in Wing Zero's cockpit, down in the Archangel's hangar, running tests on his Gundam. While normally Heero would've chalked up his behavior towards wanting to be as thorough as possible when it came to the care of the machine that was vital to the success of the mission, the fact of the matter was that he was now running through his system checks for the tenth time that day when he would normally stop at three. It wasn't due to any sense of paranoia on Heero's part; he'd known by the second check that Wing Zero was in perfect fighting order. No, he was still down in the hangar because he couldn't bring himself to relax; there was simply too much on his mind. That would've been natural, considering the role he would be playing in the coming battle, but the fact was the operation was only a secondary concern for him.

What was really occupying his thoughts, what had him so on edge… was Murrue.

Whenever he wasn't flying Wing Zero, he thought about her. He couldn't get her out of his mind, all the more so now after his talk with Lacus and facing the fact that he would have to let out his true feelings for her if he was going to have a chance at truly focusing on the mission… and surviving it. During the times he hadn't been participating in flight exercises with his fellow pilots he'd been trying to figure out how best to carry out his romantic confrontation with Murrue. Now, after five days, he had a general plan as to how he would proceed… but that did very little to ease the Perfect Soldier's nervousness about the whole affair, and it had been growing worse throughout the week.

Now that the last day before the attack was here his nerves were at their worst. Though outwardly Heero had tried to maintain his usual calm and cool veneer, on the inside the young man was a nervous wreck, and it was showing in his behavior. He couldn't sit still if he wasn't focused on Wing Zero, he hadn't eaten beyond a very light breakfast that day, he kept glancing at the time display down in the corner of one of the cockpit monitors… and it was only growing worse as the minutes went by.

Murrue's watch on the bridge was up in ten minutes, and Heero had planned to put his plan into motion as soon as she was off duty. He knew what he was going to do… now it was just a matter of working up the courage to do it.

I thought five days would be plenty of time to do that, he thought ruefully, but now that the moment of truth is so close, my fear is stronger than ever… I'm pathetic.

He took a series of deep breaths in an effort to calm himself. The conversation he'd had with Lacus nearly six days ago played through his head, and recalling the songstress's words of encouragement did do a little to sooth his nerves, but it still did not make his upcoming task any easier.

Then again, he mused, 'easy' isn't for Gundam pilots… and this is no different. Yes, I'm scared, more than I've ever been in my life, but I feel like I'm going to tear myself apart if I keep my feelings for Murrue bottled up like this for much longer… which is why I have to do this. I… I have to tell her how I feel… and I have to find out if she actually returns my feelings. The chance is there, but not knowing for sure… I won't know unless I'm able to finally open up completely to her. I thought I'd already done that after all this time, but now that I know that I'm in love with her I realize I've been holding a part of my heart back, and I can't do that anymore. If… if Murrue actually loves me, then she deserves all of me; I can't hold anything back from her. She knows my worst sins, my darkest secrets, but she's still accepted me for who I am… and she's done so without any reservation. There's also the very real possibility that, if Murrue does indeed feel the same way about me that I do about her, she's feeling this same pain that I am. If the affection, passion… the love she's holding within her heart for me is the same as what I carry for her, then she's also feeling the same fear and uncertainty that I am. I can't put her through that anymore: I have to do this!

To him, the fact that finally letting out his feelings to Murrue would help him focus on tomorrow's battle was a secondary concern. The only thing he truly cared about was the woman he loved. If she felt the same way about him and was feeling the same pain he was as a result, then he had to tell her how he felt about her so he could free her from any uncertainty.

He wanted Murrue to know that he loved her, he dearly hoped that she loved him as well, he deeply desired to have a romantic relationship with her… but, more than anything else, he wanted her to be happy. If she did indeed love him as he loved her, then he wanted her to know that he did feel the same way that she did, and that he was willing to face any challenges that threatened a relationship with her together. The age gap between them was ever present in his mind, but thanks to his conversation with Lacus Heero was now more convinced than ever that it wasn't as big an obstacle as he had first thought it would be… and it was something that Murrue would be more than willing to work past.

Alright, he thought, taking one more deep breath and letting it out, it's time.

Exiting out of his system diagnostics, Heero contacted Murrue via her personal monitor; the main bridge screen was too public for his taste, especially given the situation.

Murrue's face appeared on Wing Zero's main screen, and Heero once again found himself struck by her beauty. Her lovely brown eyes were beacons of warm strength and compassion, her long brown hair fell past her shoulders and framed her gorgeous face, her light skin served to make her full and moist lips all the more visible… to Heero, the woman he had fallen in love with was nothing short of an angel.

The beautiful Captain smiled at him. "Heero, good to see you, so to speak. How's Wing Zero?"

"In perfect operating order," he replied.

"I'd hope so," said Murrue, "you've been working on it for nearly eight hours now. My watch is up in a few minutes, so we'll be able to grab our meal together soon."

Heero took a breath to steady himself, hoping he didn't appear half as nervous as he actually was. "Listen, Murrue… do you mind if we eat a little later? There's… there's something I need to talk to you about."

Her expression became one of concern. "Of course, Heero. Is everything alright?"

Heero nodded. "Yeah, I… I just have something I want to tell you in private. Could you meet me in the officers' lounge about twenty minutes after your watch is up?"

"Sure, Heero," said Murrue, "are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm ok, Murrue," said Heero, holding back a wince; it was a lie, and he hated lying to her. "Just… meet me there twenty after shift, alright?"

Murrue nodded. "Ok, Heero. Twenty minutes after watch end, in the officers' lounge; I'll be there."

Heero gave her a slight smile. "Thanks, Murrue. I'll see you there."

As she signed off Heero powered down Wing Zero. He then opened the hatch and stepped out of the Gundam. Closing the hatch and securing his mobile suit, the Perfect Soldier made his way out of the hangar and towards his quarters. He was only wearing his usual tank-top and jeans; hardly an appropriate outfit for what he was about to do.

He needed to get cleaned up and changed.

….

Walking down the hallway, Murrue was confronted by a very strange mix of emotions whirling about inside her. Heero's request to meet privately in the officers' lounge had caught her off guard, not to mention the fact that the Gundam pilot had actually seemed slightly nervous as he had spoken. It had been subtle, but Murrue knew the young man well enough to realize when he was troubled, regardless of how he might try to hide it from her, and there was definitely something serious weighing on his mind now.

Of course, Heero was hardly alone in that regard. It had now been nearly six days since the meeting on board the Eternal, and the raid on the PLANT capitol was now practically upon them. Less than twenty-four hours remained before the man Murrue loved would be diving headlong into a battle unlike any he had ever faced before. To say the beautiful Captain was on edge would be a considerable understatement… and it wasn't just because of the incredibly dangerous mission looming on the horizon.

Almost six days since that meeting, she thought as she made her way towards the officers' lounge, nearly six days since I talked with Aisha about my feelings for Heero, and what he might feel for me… and in that time neither of us have been able to make a move. 'Nightfall', or its equivalent on board this ship, is mere hours away, and neither of us have spoken to the other regarding our personal feelings…

They'd had an excuse for that for the past five days; the combined exercises with the group's mobile suits and warships had kept everyone busy. There had still been time for Murrue and Heero to talk during that period, of course, but it had hardly seemed right to force a romantic confrontation on him when he was training so hard. Heero had likewise not made a move, though if it was for that reason or another Murrue could not say.

Now, as she headed towards her private meeting with the young man that had so completely captured her heart, Murrue was confronted by an incredible nervousness. Given the timing, this may well be her only chance to let out her feelings, to confess her love, to Heero before he went into battle the following day, but Murrue could not simply initiate a confrontation like that when it had been the Gundam pilot that had asked to speak with her like this. Her nervousness was also mixed with something else though; anticipation. The hesitancy with which Heero had made his request to Murrue suggested to her that what he wanted to talk with her about was something very near and dear to his heart… and there was every possibility that that something was her.

Is this it?, she thought, her heart hammering away in her chest, Is this… what I've been waiting for? I… I can't just assume it is, of course; given the odds Heero must confront tomorrow, he could simply want my company just for comfort and reassurance before the operation begins. I would gladly give him that, of course, but still… what if it's more? And if it isn't… then I may well have to make it more. I don't want to force such a confrontation on Heero; I want him to act on his emotions. But, given his inexperience when it comes to love, he may simply not know how. If that's the case, then I'll have to initiate things… but how do I do that without overwhelming him?

It did not escape Murrue that she may well be faced with the same dilemma as Heero, but for different reasons. Heero had never truly been in love with someone, nor had anyone ever truly loved him in return. In that respect, any hesitancy on his part was perfectly natural. For Murrue though, her hesitancy stemmed from the combination of wanting Heero to understand his own feelings and act on them along with her desire not to overwhelm him with a sudden revelation of her feelings. Still, as Aisha had said nearly six days ago, time was running out for both of them. Murrue would not deny that the tension she felt within her chest was practically at the breaking point, the passion she held within her heart almost impossible to hold back now. The specter of death hanging over the young man she loved played no small part in that, but there was also the simple fact that Murrue's feelings for Heero had been building up for a long time now; her love for him was now simply far too strong to be restrained.

Tonight, she thought, one way or the other… tonight we'll learn just how we truly feel about each other. Does Heero simply see me as a close friend, a dear older sister, a motherly figure… or are his feelings for me actually romantic? Is he holding back the same fiery passion, the same love for me that I am for him? I have to know… one way or the other, I have to know!

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that Murrue was startled to realize that she was now standing outside the entrance to the officers' lounge. Pausing for a moment and taking a deep breath to calm herself, she checked the small digital clock on the wall. It was now exactly twenty minutes since her watch had ended; it was time.

Remember, she thought, Heero asked to meet you here; he initiated this. Let him speak, see what's on his mind… give him time. Don't make any assumptions; just be the woman he believes you to be… and follow your heart.

She opened the door and walked into the lounge. It only took her a moment to locate Heero… and what she saw took her breath away.

There he was, standing by the main viewport… wearing the uniform of the Sanc Kingdom Royal Guard. This was now the third time Murrue had seen him in that attire, but it hardly mattered; the affect it had on her was nearly as strong as when she had first witnessed him wearing it all those months ago in Orb. It served to emphasize that calm strength that made him the one person Murrue knew she could always turn to for support, it gave him a noble aura that was impossible to ignore… and it turned an already very handsome young man into what Murrue considered to be her ideal image of a gentleman.

His eyes met hers, and Murrue was struck by the mix of emotions she saw within them. There was gratitude for her coming to him, happiness to see her, nervousness over something Murrue could only guess at, and something else, something she fervently prayed she was not imagining; affection.

"Murrue," he said softly, a small smile appearing on his face, "I… I'm glad you came. Thank you."

His hesitancy did not go unnoticed by her, and only served to heighten her own nervousness and anticipation; whatever he wanted to speak to her about, Murrue knew that it was something truly vital to his heart.

She returned his smile, doing her best to project the warm compassion that she knew gave him hope and strength. "Of course I came, Heero… I always will when you call."

Heero nodded, and Murrue could've sworn she saw his smile grow just a tiny bit. "Yes… you always have… you've been here for me since practically the day I came to this world."

Murrue nodded as she walked up to him. "How could I not, Heero? You've saved me and the people on board this ship more times than I can count, and you began doing so from quite literally the moment we met."

Heero nodded, turning to look out the window. "The day we met… that seems like so long ago… yet at the same time, just like yesterday… I can remember it so clearly."

He then glanced behind her, and as she followed his gaze Murrue saw that he was looking over at one of the tables. "Right there," he said, "that was where we had our first serious conversation. Lacus and Kira were with us then…"

"Yes," said Murrue, "after I greeted you in the hangar, I took you here to interview you… interrogate you, I guess you could say."

"You had to," said Heero, "even if I had saved your life and those of your subordinates, the fact remained that I was an unknown pilot flying an incredibly powerful mobile suit. You had to ascertain my origins, my intentions…" He looked over at her. "I understood, Murrue, and I never held it against you."

"I didn't think you did," said Murrue, "still… I'm grateful to hear you say that."

"It's alright, Murrue," he replied. He then gave her a slight smirk. "Considering the greeting I gave you back then, you had every right to interrogate me; I seem to recall threatening to destroy the Archangel."

Murrue couldn't help but laugh slightly, if only as a means to relieve a bit of the tension building up within her. "If I remember correctly, you made that threat only to keep us from tampering with Wing Zero. It was very understandable, considering its power… thought it did make for a rather tense introduction."

"I know," said Heero, and Murrue was surprised to see his expression become apologetic, "I've… I've regretted what I did that day, actually, making that threat. You accepted me into your midst without reservation, and I gave you a cold shoulder."

"It wasn't quite like that, Heero," said Murrue, smiling again, "you were lost and in a whole new world, wielding a mobile suit more powerful than anything we had ever seen before. Your caution was perfectly understandable… and I shared that caution, if I recall correctly. I had my concerns about you, Heero."

"Perhaps," the Gundam pilot replied, "but you got over them quickly… much faster than I had expected."

"Like I said," said Murrue, "you did save our lives. And it wasn't just in that first battle; don't you remember that group of ZAFT ships that attacked us as we were moving to rendezvous with the 8th Fleet? You defended us then as well, and asked for nothing in return."

"Save for room and board," said Heero, "a place to stay while I tried to find my purpose in this world… back then, that was all I cared about."

"And that was perfectly natural," Murrue replied, "after all you had been through in your old world, your last war, you needed to get perspective, not to mention a place to stay in an unfamiliar world. After what you had done for us, I was more than willing to give you that."

"And I was very grateful for it," said Heero, one again meeting her gaze, "and… you gave me more. Remember… our talk before the debriefing with Admiral Halberton and his officers?"

Murrue nodded, remembering what Heero was referring to perfectly. "You spoke briefly about the war in your old world… how you and many young men like you had been robbed of the chance for a normal life by corrupt rulers who cared only for power and control. You tried to hold your feelings back… but you were bitter, Heero. More than that… you were hurting, within your heart. I could tell even then that you were bearing a great pain, one that you had never shared with others… and I wanted to help you."

"And you did," said Heero, giving her another small smile, "you barely knew me… but you wanted to help me, to be there for me… Murrue, I can't begin to tell you what that meant to me. We'd barely known each other for more than a couple of days… but you were already offering me your friendship and support, and you did it without hesitation. I… I knew then that I had never met anyone like you… and I wanted to return the favor. I… I began to trust you, Murrue… after knowing you for such a short amount of time."

"Heero…" said Murrue softly.

The two of them were quiet for a moment before Heero continued speaking. "During the debriefing, as I watched the Alliance officers grill you… I couldn't stand just sitting by and watching them question all you had done to protect those that were serving under you. I wanted to help you…"

"And you did," said Murrue, "you held my hand underneath the table, where they couldn't see. It was a small act… but one that gave me strength, Heero."

His eyes widened slightly, prompting a small giggle from Murrue. "Did you think I had forgotten that, Heero?"

The Gundam pilot hesitated, but only for a moment. "I… I didn't know for sure… but I was hoping you'd remembered."

"Of course I did, Heero," said Murrue, "your support meant the world to me in that meeting, as it has throughout our journey together. You not only protected me during battle, but throughout all our struggles… even before you made that vow back in North Africa."

Heero nodded. "I wanted to, Murrue. I… I knew there was something special about you, even then. The way you fought against Halberton's officers and your own XO to have Kira be allowed to leave the Archangel, even though keeping him on as the Strike's pilot would've strengthened your side… that was incredibly noble of you, Murrue. You knew that taking such a position would put you at odds with your superiors, and that you would be losing a valuable fighter, but you did so anyway because he was a civilian and never wanted to get caught up in the fighting to begin with. You cared about him as much as you did the soldiers that were officially under your command, and the fact that he was a Coordinator meant nothing to you; you saw him for who he was as a person, and didn't let his genes influence your opinion. I doubt any other Atlantic Federation officer would've made the stand you did."

Murrue felt her face flush red at Heero's praise. "You… you really think so?"

Heero gave her a small smile. "Absolutely."

He then turned towards the window and took a breath, apparently gathering his thoughts. When he spoke up again his voice was a little quieter. "I already had a measure of respect for you as a Captain, but as I watched you in that meeting… I was amazed at your strength, Murrue. The way you challenged your superiors for the sake of those serving under you… I'd never seen anything like it. That, combined with the compassion you'd shown me even though we'd barely spoken before then… it made an impression, to say the least. I… I think that was why I told you a little more about myself after that meeting, after you asked me if you did the right thing in arguing for Kira's release."

Murrue thought back on what he was referring to before replying. "You mean about not knowing your own parents, right? About… about having been raised and trained by an assassin?"

"Yeah," he responded, "I… I'd never told anyone else that before, but… I wanted to tell you. I… I still can't fully explain why, but that day… I wanted to return the kindness and trust that you'd shown me. I… I wanted to be your friend, Murrue, as you did for me."

Murrue smiled. "And I believe we did become friends in short order… quite good ones, in fact."

Heero nodded. "We did… and I was surprised by how quickly that had happened. By the time ZAFT launched their attack on the 8th Fleet in orbit I was already determined to protect you… and my resolve to do so only increased during our time in North Africa."

Murrue nodded. "Yes… and so did our friendship. I have to admit, I was surprised when you had offered to tell me about your past that night after we had arrived at the Desert Dawn's hideout. Our friendship may have developed quickly, but you still caught me off guard with that."

Heero turned to her and gave her a small smile. "Perhaps… but I could tell how badly you wanted to learn more about me… and I wanted to tell you. In that short amount of time you had already become someone that I cared about and trusted, a closer friend than any I had made in my old world… and you trusted me, despite the fact that we had only just met recently. I… I wanted to return that trust, Murrue. More than that… I wanted to tell you because I'd never told anyone the full story before… and after the way you'd accepted me onto your ship and reached out to me, I felt you deserved that. I was glad to tell you about my past, Murrue."

"And I was glad to listen to the tale," Murrue replied, "to say it was amazing is quite an understatement… but it was also quite tragic. You mistake with Noventa and the Alliance peace faction, your self-detonating of the Wing Gundam in Siberia, the way the colonies turned their backs on you and your fellow pilots… knowing that you'd gone through all that in more nearly moved me to tears. Hell, I'm surprised I didn't openly weep for you during that… I suppose that must sound pretty pathetic to you, doesn't it?"

Heero shook his head. "No, Murrue; not in the least. I… I don't want to see you cry, but knowing that you felt so strongly about it… that even back then you already cared so much about me… that means a lot to me, and I certainly don't think it makes you weak. I think it's a sign of your compassionate nature… something that never ceases to amaze me."

Murrue could feel herself blushing again. "I… I'm glad you feel that way, Heero. Honestly, I've never thought it was anything special; it's just who I am."

"Trust, me, Murrue," said Heero, and she was struck by the sincere expression on his face, "the way you care the people around you, with so little thought for yourself… I don't know how the others might see it, but I think it's one of your greatest strengths. It is part of who you are… and it's incredible, Murrue."

He then looked down for a moment before speaking again. "I… I wanted to show you just how much that meant to me. Your compassion, your acceptance and trust of me, your friendship…" He then looked up, and Murrue saw his eyes fall on the shimmering blue stone of the Tear of Isis. "That's why I bought you that necklace. It's a small thing, I know, but still… I wanted to give you something, and that was the best I could think of at the time. I wanted to do something to show you that I valued the bond that had grown between us, something more than protect you in battle… I wanted you to have a constant reminder of how I cared for you."

"Heero…" said Murrue softly, looking down at the necklace before returning her gaze to him, "This necklace… I don't think it's a small thing at all. I treasure it, Heero… as I treasure the bond I have with you."

Murrue could've sworn she saw a hint of red appear in Heero's face. "Murrue…" he said, his eyes widening ever so slightly. He then nodded as he continued. "I... thank you. I… I'm glad you care so deeply for it."

Not nearly as much as I do for you…, she thought, Yes, I treasure this necklace, because it symbolizes the trust, compassion, and friendship that tie us together… but it pales in comparison to how dear I hold you to my heart, Heero.

Murrue smiled. "Of course I care for it, Heero. When you bought me this, when you could've gotten yourself anything you wanted with the money I gave you that day… I was moved, Heero; moved by your compassion. I know you said it did not cost much, but the price of the gift does not matter to me; the fact that the only thing you wanted to buy was a gift for me, to make me smile… that was all I cared about."

Heero nodded, and Murrue saw him give her a small smile in return. "Yeah… and I think I told you when I gave it to you that I liked seeing you smile."

"Indeed you did, Heero," said Murrue.

"What I said back then," he continued, "it was true, but… I should've said so much more. I wasn't aware of it yet… but things were already beginning to change… there was something growing in my heart, even then."

Murrue forced herself to stifle a gasp. Was he actually saying what she so dearly prayed she thought he was? Was he saying that, even back during their time in North Africa… he'd actually begun to fall for her?

Don't move yet, she told herself, struggling to keep from spilling out her heart to him right at that moment, let him keep going… he's building up to something now, I can feel it.

"Murrue," said Heero, "remember that afternoon when we were traveling through the Red Sea? I was out on the ship's observation deck, and you came out to join me…"

She nodded. "Yes… you were worried about finding a purpose in your life beyond the battlefield. You felt as though you hadn't made any progress…"

"Yeah," Heero replied, looking at her, "what you told me in response… it was just what I needed to hear. You said to take things slow, not to rush it… and you were right, Murrue. And, looking back on it… I may have already been drifting towards the purpose I wanted, I needed… I just didn't realize it yet."

"What was it?" asked Murrue.

Heero didn't directly answer her question. Instead he turned back towards the viewport and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them and turned back to her she saw a haunted expression, and she had a feeling she knew what was coming next.

"Murrue… do you remember what happened that night?"

Perfectly, she thought somberly. "I do, Heero. I… I can still hear your cry when I think back on that night… that anguished scream as you were tortured by that nightmare. I rushed to your room… I was terrified that something had happened to you."

"You weren't wrong," said Heero softly, "reliving that memory... that slaughter… it's more painful than any physical wound I've ever taken."

Hearing him admit that aloud shook her, especially in light of the many wounds he had suffered throughout his long career as a soldier. Hell, he'd survived self-detonating his original Gundam when he'd been standing right on its hatch!

"I'd been having that nightmare for two years," he continued, "it… it wasn't every night that I relived that memory, but still… it was always lurking in the shadows. I could never get rid of it… I could never escape the pain, the sorrow, the guilt. And every time I woke up from it… I wanted to die."

"Heero…" said Murrue, her voice barely a whisper as she saw the anguish in his eyes. However, she soon saw that pain and sorrow be replaced by something else as his gaze met hers. There was gratitude, warmth… and affection. This time, there was no denying that last one.

"But that night," said Heero, a soft smile appearing on his face, "I didn't have to face that memory alone. You came to me… to help me. Even after I told you what had happened… what I had done… it didn't stop you from caring about me. I wouldn't have blamed you if it had changed how you thought of me… but it didn't. Murrue… when you took me in your arms, held me close… I'd never been embraced like that before. I could feel the warmth radiating from your body. I could feel myself enveloped not just by your arms… but by your compassion. You accepted what I had done as a tragic accident, something that after two years I still struggled to come to terms with… and you wanted to help me. That night… you gave me peace, shelter, comfort… you protected me from an enemy I didn't know how to fight."

Murrue smiled in return. "Of course I did, Heero. After all you'd done for me, after all I'd learned about you… I could never see you as the murderer you thought yourself to be. I knew, beyond any doubt, that you would never have killed those people on purpose. I could see how deeply scarred you were by that tragedy, how tormented you were by it even two years later… and how you tortured yourself over it. I couldn't let you do that, Heero; I cared far too much about you to let you put yourself through that kind of pain, to stand by and watch you suffer. I wanted to help you that night. I wanted to hold you close, to protect you from the demons of your past… to comfort you, Heero."

"And you did, Murrue," Heero replied, "more than anyone else had ever done so before… in a way I never thought possible. I haven't told you this before, but since that night… I haven't had that nightmare. The memory is still there, of course… it always will be. But you… you helped ward off the pain and sorrow that I've held back for over two years, which I was never able to reveal to anyone. I can't get rid of it completely; I'll always carry what happened that night inside me. However… you gave me a new strength to live with it, one that no one else ever could. That night, I realized that in you… I'd found a dearer friend than any I could ever have imagined in my own world. No… I'd found more than that, though at the time I was still struggling to figure out what that was. That seed that had been planted in my heart during our time in North Africa was already growing, but I still couldn't give it a name. I didn't know what to make of this new feeling… at least, not until Orb."

Orb, Murrue thought, recalling their first visit to the neutral island nation, is he referring to… our date?

"The outing we went on, during our second day in that country," said Heero, "when I asked you to accompany me the day before… I was nervous, Murrue. I didn't know why at the time, but later on I realized the reason. It… it took me completely by surprise, and I wasn't sure if it was truly what I was feeling… but I wanted to find out. When we went into town that afternoon, I wanted to truly explore the bond we had developed… and the direction my feelings for you were evolving."

Murrue's eyes widened at his words. 'The direction his feelings were evolving'… at that time, I had only recently realized that I was falling in love with him. Did he… did he already feel the same way, and I just didn't see it?

"Murrue," Heero continued, "that evening we shared together… the mall, the coffee shop, the park, the restaurant… I'd never experienced anything like it before. I got to learn so much about you, and you gave me something no one else had ever done before; a fun night out. It was as we were heading back towards the Archangel that I was finally able to realize just what my feelings… my affection for you was becoming. I began to understand why I was allowing myself to become closer to you by the day, why I was willing to go to such lengths to protect you. Your kindness, your intelligence, your strength, your loyalty, your acceptance of who I was… they all helped form the core of my friendship with you, our bond, the original reason why I wanted to fight for you… but something new, growing in my own heart, was now added to the mix. I… I still wasn't entirely sure if it was truly the emotion I was feeling… but I could at least give name to what I suspected it was."

He took a deep breath, and Murrue was startled to realize that the Gundam pilot was actually growing more and more nervous as he continued their conversation. Her own anxiety and anticipation were heightened in her heart as a result, as her suspicions… her hopes… were rapidly growing that he was moving in the direction that she so dearly wanted him to be. She had to force herself to remain calm, and it was growing harder by the second to do so.

Stay down, girl, she chided herself, doing her best to keep her breathing under control, to keep excitement from overwhelming her, let him keep going… don't jump in now… let him keep going. Control yourself, for his sake and yours; he needs to get all this out on his own.

When he spoke again his voice was softer, lacking the usual firm strength she was so used to. "As we continued our journey to Alaska… I became more and more certain of what it was I felt for you. I can recall so clearly that night in your quarters, after we lost Tolle and supposedly Kira as well in the Marshall Islands. Seeing you mourn, suffering under a guilt that you most certainly did not deserve… it tore at my heart in a way that nothing else ever had before. I found myself desperate to find a way to comfort you, to support you, to lend you my strength… to relieve your pain. When I held you in my arms and you smiled at me, thanking me through your tears…the strange feeling that had been growing in my heart became stronger than ever. A little while afterwards, during our brief stopover in Hawaii… I finally came to realize exactly what I felt for you. I knew… beyond a shadow of a doubt, what directions my emotions had taken me in… how they had evolved… and they only grew stronger during the remainder of our trip to Alaska, along with the time we spent there and all that happened in that period."

"During the debriefing with the High Command," he continued, "I found myself furious at how they tried to belittle everything that you had done during our voyage. More than that, I could practically feel the malice coming from them. I didn't know what it was, but I realized right then that they had something bad planned for us, for you and the Archangel. It took all my restraint to keep myself from killing them on the spot, grabbing you and getting you to Wing Zero, and getting the hell out of that place."

Murrue could not help but gasp slightly; she'd known that the High Command's behavior towards her during the debriefing had angered Heero, but she hadn't realized it had been to that extent. She forced a small smile for the young man before her. "I'm glad you were so impassioned in your defense of me, Heero… though I wish you had told me about your feelings regarding the High Command, beyond the suspicions you had relayed to me before and after the meeting."

"I'm sorry," said Heero, "I… I didn't want to worry you. Looking back, I regret not telling you. In doing that… I was making the same mistake that I did latter on, when I realized the full extent of the Atlantic Federation's treachery."

"During the First Battle of Alaska," said Murrue quietly, "the Cyclops bomb…"

Heero nodded. "Even after I destroyed the base and the weapon hidden within, I found myself gripped by a rage unlike any I had every experienced before. It took all my strength to keep it from overwhelming me right there, to keep control of the Zero System as we made our escape from Alaska. When we landed on that island, and you came out with the mechanics to Wing Zero and the Freedom… I lost control, but not to my anger. During the battle, when the Duel had nearly killed you… I was terrified, Murrue. Kira's intervention was the only thing that saved you. I know you said before that you did not blame me for what happened during the fighting, that you knew I had done all I could to protect you… but I still blamed myself, Murrue. When you came out of that truck and towards my Gundam, I couldn't restrain my feelings… that's why I ran up to you and embraced you the way I did. I was so relieved that you were safe… the mere thought of losing you scarred me more than anything else. It was then that I knew just how strongly I felt for you…"

Heero paused for a moment, and Murrue was sorely tempted to fill in the silence, but she could sense that he had more to say, that he was putting his thoughts in order. She managed to keep herself from cutting him off… but it was a very near thing.

"Everything after that," he continued, "the battle in Orb, my shock at realizing that I had lost control of the Zero System and could've endangered you, my relief at seeing you safe and sound by my bedside in the Archangel's med bay, my determination to never lose myself to the Zero System again in order to protect you… it all served to reinforce what I already knew."

"And… and what was that, Heero?" said Murrue softly, unable to keep the trepidation, the anticipation, completely from her voice.

Heero took another deep breath before meeting Murrue's gaze. He took one step closer to her as he began speaking again. "That I cared for you more than anyone I ever had before… more than anyone I ever would. You were already the most important person in my life, but then I knew… now I know just how vital you are to me. I knew then, as I know now, that I would do anything, take on anyone, to protect you, to keep you from harm. I would go to lengths I'd never dreamed of before to keep you safe… driven by something I had never felt before in my life."

He took another step as he continued. His voice was shaking a little, but Heero kept talking, and despite his now obvious nervousness Murrue could once again feel the strength resonating in his words. "I know that I want to defend you, to stay by your side, to support you in all your endeavors… in this war and beyond. I want to fight not just to protect you… but to give you a future, to give you a life beyond this war…as I know you want me to find. I want to make you happy, to see you smile now and every day after, to see you enjoy life in our imperfect but beautiful world… and I want to be there with you every step of the way."

As if to emphasize his point, he took another step closer to her. "Murrue… I wasn't able to tell you this before, but the truth is… since the moment I came to the Cosmic Era, I never once thought about going back to my old world. At first it was because the Zero System helped bring me here, and I knew it was trying to tell me that my future, my purpose, lay here… but it took getting to know you to truly understand what that purpose was. At first I simply wanted to protect you and help bring this war to an end… but those reasons soon evolved into something far more personal to me… something far more profound. I don't want to go back to my old world because my purpose, my future, is here… with you."

"Heero…" said Murrue, her voice barely over a whisper. Now there was no doubt in her mind; she knew why he had asked her hear, what he wanted to tell her. Her heart was now hammering away inside her faster than it ever had in her life, her face felt hotter than the desert sun back in North Africa, her breathing was becoming quick and shallow, her chest was becoming almost cripplingly tight…

"Murrue," Heero continued, taking yet another step towards her, "I… I've put a lot of thought into this. I… I know that there could be problems with what I feel, what I want. The fact that I'm ten years younger than you is no small hurdle, to say the least, and I won't lie that I'm afraid that what I'm about to say could well damage our friendship, perhaps irreparably. That terrifies me almost as much as the thought of losing you at Alaska did… but I can't keep my feelings bottled up inside me anymore. I know I should've done this long ago… but I'm going to do it now; I'm going to act on my emotions… on my heart. I'm going to take this chance… because I believe my future lies with you… because you mean more to me than anyone or anything else… because the affection for you that was sown in my heart so long ago has now grown into something I never imagined would ever take hold of me, and I want to share it with you… I want you to know how I feel about you."

He took one last step forward. His face was now an inch or two at the most away from hers, though due to her standing at 5'6" and him at 5'3" he had to look up just a little at that close proximity to meet her gaze. Murrue could feel his breath on her face, could see every faucet and detail of his beautiful Prussian blue eyes… and could read with perfect clarity the one emotion, the resounding affection that was held within them.

And she knew that he was finally going to say the words that she had been waiting for so long to hear come from his mouth.

And he didn't disappoint.

"Murrue Ramius… I love you."

….

(Start "Fields of Gold")

Silence hung in the air for a moment. In that single second the fear that was gripping Heero's heart was at its strongest. Had he gone too far? Had he made a mistake, a catastrophic one? Had he presumed too much on Murrue's part, had he erred in believing that she shared his feelings? Lacus's intuition, his own emotions… were they wrong?

All that and more was whirling through his head and his heart in that single second… before the woman he loved surged forward, threw her arms around him and pulled him into a fierce kiss.

Heero froze for a brief instant as her warm, moist lips met his mouth. He had absolutely no experience in the area he found himself in now, and his mind had no response readily available for him to use for the situation.

So he abandoned his mind… and let his instincts, his emotions, take over.

Murrue's lips were mashing against his, so hard it was almost painful… and Heero pressed right back. He grabbed Murrue by the shoulder with his left hand while putting his right behind her head and pulled her even closer… and returned her fire.

Heero finally released the shackles he had placed around his heart, and passion's flames surged forward. He pressed his lips against Murrue's, reveling in her taste, her texture. He let their soft, wet heat rush over his mouth, and as he did so he felt her own open, her tongue surging forward. He surrendered to it, parting his lips, allowing it rush inside his mouth where it swiftly intertwined with his own. He opened his mouth a little further and pushed back, his tongue dancing with hers, joining it in a wet yet fiery embrace. All the while he was pulling her ever closer to him with his arms, holding her tighter than he had ever felt possible… reveling in her affection, her passion… her love.

He loved her… and she loved him.

Heero could feel Murrue's long, flowing brown hair brush up against his face, just as he could feel one of her hands briefly release its hold on his shoulder blade before it gripped the back of his head. Her fingers ran through his own thick brown hair, and he mirrored her moves with the hand that he had clasped at the back of her head. Together they pressed themselves as tightly together as they could, pleasure and pain intermingling as their lips and tongues remained locked together, the fires of passion incinerating any restraint.

They stayed like that for as long as they possibly could, allowing themselves to be consumed by the heat of affection and desire, of love that had been held back for far too long now. Arms and hands gripping each other tightly, lips locked in their own hot and wet embrace, tongues twisting and writhing together as they were finally allowed to explore where they had so dearly longed to go… for Heero and Murrue, the world beyond the two of them had completely disappeared; their entire existence right then and there was bound within their first kiss.

Eventually the need for oxygen forced them to part, to come up from the depths of the ocean of love and desire to breathe on the surface… but it was only for a moment. Their eyes met briefly, each beholding the fire of the other's affection, desire, and passion in their gaze, finally knowing for sure that the fierce love they felt within their hearts was indeed returned by the other… before they dove right back in for more.

This time there was no hesitation on Heero's part. He instantly pulled Murrue in as close as he could, meeting her halfway as their mouths came together. His tongue rushed forward and met Murrue's before she could even get it out of her mouth, and together the two wet and sloppy appendages once again intertwined in a warm, moist waltz.

Murrue pressed back immediately, and the strength of her forward surge took Heero completely off guard. It wasn't just her tongue and mouth, but her whole body that was pushing the Gundam pilot back. Their legs became as intertwined as their tongues and together they fell to the floor. Heero did what he could to make sure that his body lay between his love's and the hard metal surface, and he could feel Murrue swiftly wrap his head in her arm to lessen the impact on him as the two of them hit the floor.

They parted briefly, and Heero saw a flash of worry in Murrue's lovely brown eyes. Her face was beat red, and Heero had no doubt his own skin was just as flushed with heat. He could feel her legs squeeze him tightly as she straddled his body, matching the fierceness of her arms as they held him… and only further serving to excite the young man's now open desire and passion.

"Are you alright?" Murrue whispered in between pants that Heero realized held more than a little lustful energy to them.

Heero nodded and smiled slightly. "Yeah…"

"Good," she replied before diving right back in for round three. Lips met, tongues rushed forward, and Heero once again lost himself in the goddess he held in his arms. The feeling of the hard metal floor beneath him disappeared entirely; the only sensations that mattered were those given to him by Murrue. The heat, the passion, the love… they were his entire world in that glorious moment.

All too soon the newfound lovers had no choice but to once again part for air. They did not release the hold they had on each other though, their arms and hands gripping each other's upper bodies while their legs mirrored the action below. As Murrue pulled back and her gaze met Heero's he could now fully see the fierce affection, the overpowering love, within her beautiful brown eyes. She was still close enough that the Gundam pilot could feel her breath on his face... and it was coming in heavy, passionate pants as she gasped for air.

For a moment the two of them were quiet save for their breathing, still holding each other close. Heero was fully aware of Murrue's ample breasts being pressed tightly against his chest, along with the fact that her legs were straddling him nearly at the beltline, and it only served to further increase the already scorching heat that was coming from inside him. He could feel himself sweating, and it wasn't from the temperature of the ship's interior… and he saw that Murrue was doing the same.

She really does…, he thought numbly, his mind struggling to absorb all that had happened in the past couple of minutes, she really does… love me. She…

Finally he was able to speak, though he found himself incapable of forming complete sentences quite yet. "Murrue…" he said softly, "you…"

She nodded while giving him an absolutely radiant smile. "Yes, Heero! I love you too!"

He'd already confirmed her reciprocation of his feelings physically, but to hear her actually say it still blew him away. To hear the woman he loved so deeply, who he would do anything to protect, to make her happy, give voice to her own feelings, to vocally respond to his confession with a resounding affirmation… the excitement, the pure joy in Heero's heart was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

Heero was still struggling for words, and it took a considerable effort on his part to speak again. "How… when…?"

"How could I love you so?" Murrue asked him, "When did I fall for you? Heero, the second question I can understand, but the first one… how could I not fall in love with you?"

"Murrue…" he replied tentatively, "after… after what I've done… you know more than anyone else the crimes I've committed. After learning about that…"

"How could I still allow myself to care for you, to love you?" Murrue finished for him, bringing the hand that had held the back of his head around to caress his cheek, "Heero, I accepted you for who you were, in your entirety. What happened with that little girl and her dog, all those people in the residential block, Noventa and the Alliance peace faction… those were terrible tragedies, terrible mistakes, Heero. As you told me about them, I could see the anguish and remorse those events caused you, the pain that you were still carrying around. After getting to know you, I knew beyond a doubt that you would never have targeted those people on purpose. Yes, you took their lives, but you never meant to, Heero, and had things been different I know that you would've done everything in your power to save them."

"Heero," she continued, that amazing smile still on her face, "I fell in love with all of you; everything about you. Your courage, your cunning, your strength, your skills, your looks, your compassion… I love you for all that and more. You are the most amazing man that I have ever met in my life. In the time we spent together you showed me loyalty and devotion the likes of which no one else could ever hope to match. You stayed with and fought for the Archangel not because we were offering you a shelter in an unfamiliar world... but to protect me. You took on suicidal odds time and time again, challenged entire fleets, armies, and air wings, and you not only survived but won… and I knew you were doing it for me. For the friendship we had forged, the bond we shared… I knew that they were the reason you kept fighting with us, and I loved you for it. I fell for your calm and quiet nature, I fell for the warm and gentle heart that you hide behind your walls of stoicism, I fell for your incredibly good looks, I fell for your abilities as a pilot and a soldier, I fell for your resolve to keep innocent people from harm's way, I fell for the defiance that you showed some of the most powerful men in the world… I fell for you in your entirety, Heero. There is nothing about you that I don't love, Heero, nothing about you that I couldn't love. You're the only one for me, Heero; there will be no other."

Heero's eyes widened as he listened to Murrue's speech. Hearing her list out all the reasons why she loved him, what had drawn her to him, while she was literally right on top of him, was something he had never expected to experience in his life. To say it took his breath away would be a considerable understatement.

"As for when I began to fall in love with you," said Murrue, giving his cheek another caress, "at first I thought it was after that night over the Red Sea, when you had revealed to me your worst memory, when I had seen you at your most vulnerable and had given you the comfort and shelter you so dearly needed… but looking back now, I believe my feelings for you, my love for you, were sown around the same time yours was for me; during our time in North Africa. I'd already seen you battle not just ZAFT's space forces but their surface armies as well, not to mention the legendary Valkyrie Team, and that definitely made an impression. Combine that with your revealing so much of your past to me, all you had struggled through and suffered during the Eve Wars, and getting to truly know you as a person and experiencing the kindness that lay beneath your calm and cool exterior… all that and more drew me to you in a way so powerful that I could never resist it. Subconsciously, unconsciously… I began falling for you well before we left North Africa, Heero."

The revelation rocked Heero. "All this time…" he said softly as he looked at her, "while I was falling for you… you were doing so for me?"

Murrue responded by giving him another kiss. This time it was soft and brief compared to the last three they'd shared, but to Heero it was no less amazing. She smiled as she pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. "Yes, Heero… we fell for each other together."

"How did I..." asked Heero, his mind now racing back through the past, searching for signs that he had no doubt missed during their time together, "how did I not see it?"

"Oh, Heero…" said Murrue, still smiling, "don't be hard on yourself about this. I knew from the start that you had no real romantic experience. I knew that, if you did return my feelings, it would take you longer to notice the signs, to suspect that I was falling in love with you. I was aware of all that from the beginning, and that it would be a challenge in and of itself to overcome… but it was completely worth it."

Heero nodded slowly. "I… I understand, Murrue. Still, I… I'm sorry I made you wait for so long."

"It's ok, Heero," Murrue replied, caressing his cheek, "I wanted you to take your time, to explore your own feelings, to come to understand them naturally. I suspected that you had feelings for me, but I didn't want to push you into anything… I wanted your love for me to be natural, nor forced or rushed. It was hard to wait, I won't deny that… oh, Heero, it was starting to hurt, keeping my love for you at bay, my passion in check… but here, now, it's all paid off… it was worth every second."

Heero removed his hand from Murrue's back and brought it to her face, mirroring the soft caress she was giving him. "I… I had no idea. I'm… I'm so sorry, Murrue. The last thing I wanted was to put you through any pain. If I'd known… if I'd known you were holding back the same strong, overwhelming affection and passion that I was, I would've done this so much sooner."

Murrue leaned in for another soft kiss. As she pulled back she spoke, her voice barely more than a whisper. "It's alright, Heero, it truly is. Yes, it did hurt, holding my true feelings for you back for so long, but I wanted you to take your time, to understand your own emotions and to act on them. I wanted you to experience the joy and wonder of falling in love in its entirety, without forcing or rushing it. I knew that I would have to wait longer for you than I would for someone else due to your inexperience, but I wanted to wait, Heero… because I could feel that it would be worth it… I knew that it would be worth the building pressure and tension in my heart… and I was right."

Unable to think of any adequate words to reply to that statement, Heero simply responded by pulling Murrue back in for another kiss. It was longer than the last two, but not the fiery lip-locking that they had done before. Rather, it was soft and serene, tranquil and cool… and just as incredible. Heero reveled in the feeling of Murrue's warm, wet, and full lips pressing against his own in a firm yet gentle and moist embrace. He once again took her completely in his arms and pulled her as close as he could, and he could feel her do the same.

Eventually they parted, and Heero nervously spoke. "Murrue… are you sure… I'm the one you want? I mean, with my age… I know that could cause you difficulties."

"Believe me, Heero," she replied, a reassuring smile on her face, "I've thought a lot about this, including the age gap between us… and I still love you, I still want to be with you. I know that our gap in years may be an obstacle, but I know it's one that we can overcome together. I want to face it with you, as I do every other threat to us… because I know that nothing can stop us from being together." A mischievous gleam came to her lovely brown eyes. "And now that I've taken the Archangel and gone rogue, I'm no longer bound by Atlantic Federation rules and regulations… military or otherwise. I know a relationship between us will still raise the eyebrows of many people, but I don't give a damn. I… I want you, Heero, and I'm not going to let anyone stop me."

Heero felt his face become even warmer at the emphasis she placed on the word 'want'. He may have been young and inexperienced… but he was no fool. He knew that she was referring to more than just his heart and mind…

Heero nodded and give her another small smile in response. "Alright, Murrue. Whatever comes our way, whatever challenges we encounter… we'll do it together. If you truly feel that way about me… then I'm not going to let anything stop me from being with you. I love you, Murrue, and nothing will ever change that, will ever get in the way of that. I want to be with you… in every way possible."

He saw Murrue's face become even redder than it already was at his words, and he really couldn't blame her; Heero had taken himself off guard with his comment, especially with the weight and emphasis he'd given it at the end. He knew that he'd just sent Murrue a signal that he felt the same way she did, that he wanted exactly what she wanted. Heero was now more aware than ever of the body of the goddess pressed so tightly against him. Her bountiful chest, her hourglass figure, her seductive curves, her long and powerful legs that gripped him so tightly near the beltline… all that and more were awakening a fire that went well beyond the emotional love that burned within Heero's heart. His more natural instincts were stirring as well… and as he looked into Murrue's eyes, he knew that hers were too.

The resounding love she had for them still shone like twin beacons in her eyes, but there was something else in them as well, a more subtle and primal feeling…a hunger. The fires of passion in the woman he loved encompassed far more than just the powerful emotional affection she felt for him… there was a desire for a more physical intimacy as well, and it was burning hotter than the sun.

Without speaking, Murrue released Heero from her embrace and began to rise. Letting go of her, the Gundam pilot let the beautiful Captain get to her feet, and he accepted her outstretched arm as she pulled him to his. Her warm and breathtaking smile was still on her face, still radiant with the affection she had for him… but now it had another quality mixed in with it; desire.

Her hand still holding his, Murrue gently but firmly pulled Heero along, and together they made their way out of the officers' lounge. As they went through the corridors all manner of images flashed through Heero's mind, each and every one of them involving him and Murrue in extremely… compromising positions. His heartbeat increased to a fever pitch, and he knew that the warmth in his face was showing in a very deep red. As Murrue looked at him and met his gaze, Heero saw that her face had the same deep blush on it, but it did not stop her from smiling, nor did it in any way diminish the fire that was now in her eyes.

As they made their way through the ship's corridors towards the section where their quarters were located, Heero was once again confronted with a very strong sense of nervousness. He knew what Murrue wanted, and while he felt the same desire she did he was also well aware that he was lacking in the experience that the woman he loved had. He could once again feel the fear in his heart… but there was excitement in it as well. He knew what she was leading him towards, and while it was territory that he had never ventured into before, it was a realm that he wanted to explore, especially with her.

Slowly but surely she pulled him onward, closer and closer to their destination. Murrue was slightly in front and to the right of Heero, allowing him to take in the brown-haired beauty in her entirety. She was moving with confidence and purpose, her fire and passion radiating from her. Heero could practically feel her excitement in the air… and much more. Despite the fierce desire he now knew she had for him, Murrue was actually moving at a slightly slower pace than usual… and Heero realized she was doing it for him, allowing him to observe her curvaceous body as she guided him through the corridors, and to imagine the heights of pleasure that it would soon take him too. Murrue still had the same warm and compassionate feel about her that Heero so deeply loved… but now she was adding a seductive energy to the mix. The sway of her hips, the gentle yet firm grip she had on his hand, the gleam of desire in her eyes… all promised to give him a night unlike any other, to truly unleash the passion that both of them had held at bay for far too long now.

At last they arrived at the section of the crew quarters that contained the officers' rooms. As they came to a stop Heero realized that they were doing so at the exact point between his room and Murrue's. Murrue took both his hands in hers as she turned around, and as she smiled at Heero he understood that he was offering him a choice… or rather, two choices. The first was to partake in the act at all tonight, or to wait for another time, while the second was simply a matter of his room… or hers.

The nervousness that gripped Heero was now at its greatest, and he could see an understanding look in Murrue's eyes; she knew what he was feeling. He was scarred… but he was also excited, more than he'd been in a long, long time.

Heero took a deep breath before meeting Murrue's gaze again… and he moved towards her, bringing his face less than an inch away from hers. He saw Murrue's smile grow, but there was also a touch of concern in her features.

"Heero," she said softly, tightening the grip she had on his hands, "are you sure you want this tonight? I know I do, but… I'll understand completely if you want to wait."

Heero smiled in return, feeling truly blessed to have such a caring and understanding companion… such a concerned lover. "I… I'm sure, Murrue. I… I appreciate your concern, but… I want this too. Considering what's coming tomorrow… well, we might not get another chance. I don't want any regrets… I don't want to leave anything undone between us."

Murrue nodded before leaning in to kiss him. It was a soft and brief one, but in it was held promises of much, much more to come. As their lips parted she stayed close, giving them just enough distance so that they could meet each other's gaze. "Are you ready?" she whispered.

Heero nodded, his smile becoming a bit embarrassed. "Yeah… although, I've never…"

"I know, Heero," said Murrue, her own smile becoming more than a little playful, "don't worry… I'll be your guide. You just need to follow your instincts, your emotions… and given the endurance and stamina you show in battle, I think you'll be just fine."

Emboldened by her words, Heero leaned in and gave Murrue a small, soft kiss of his own. He gave her another small smile as they parted. "Lead on, Murrue," he whispered.

Her own smile grew at his words. She released one of his hands briefly to open the door to her cabin. Then she grabbed him again…

…and pulled him inside.

(End "Fields of Gold")

….

(Start "Eternity ~ Memory of Lightwaves")

Laying her head next to his on the pillow, her body draped over his, Murrue smiled as her eyes met Heero's. Her bedcovers were pulled over their shoulders, protecting them from the cool air inside the ship and trapping the heat generated by her and the Gundam pilot… her lover. She could feel his chest move beneath her as he breathed steadily, and she found the motion to be incredibly comforting. She reached across with one hand towards Heero's face, only for the young man to bring his own up and meet hers half way. He gently took it in his, and as their fingers intertwined their hands fell down to the pillow, lying between their faces. Murrue's other arm was on Heero's shoulder, while his was wrapped around her, holding her close to him.

The Perfect Soldier smiled in return, and Murrue felt her own grow in response as the two of them simply lay there together, basking in the warmth the two of them had created… the afterglow of long-concealed passion finally released. She could see more than a hint of red in Heero's face, and Murrue had no doubt her own was just as flushed. Sweat matted Heero's brow, and once again Murrue knew that her own shared that quality. She felt limp, exhausted… and immensely satisfied.

Three rounds, she thought, her mind flashing back to the heights of ecstasy and pleasure to which they had ascended together, bodies intertwined, love's fierce inferno burning its brightest, or was it four? I lost track in the heat, the moment, the passion… that was incredible.

Incredible, breathtaking, awesome, beautiful… all these words and more could've described the act Murrue and Heero had taken part in, yet to her those same words also seemed all too inadequate. There were no words in her mind to give justice to what had transpired between them, no words in all the languages of humanity.

Before her, the handsome young man with whom she now shared her bed was gazing at her with unconcealed affection and wonder. Though his body was now just as weary as hers, Murrue was amazed at the sense of strength she could still feel coming from Heero. More than that, there was an energy about him, the likes of which she'd never seen in any other man. The fire of the passion that had long burned in his heart for her had finally been released, just as hers had, and in the act Heero had somehow been rejuvenated, reborn. He was still the same incredible young man that Murrue had fallen in love with in the first place, but now there was something more to him. It was something intangible, elusive, and the best thing Murrue could think of was that by giving himself over completely to her, Heero had in the process purged himself of the doubts that had weighed so heavily upon him when he had first came to the Cosmic Era.

The purpose he longed for, she realized, her smile growing, I've given it to him. To be by my side, to face the future together, to love each other… that's his purpose now, his reason for living beyond the battlefields. When this war ends he will not be set adrift as he was before; I will be his anchor.

She gazed at her newfound lover, basking in his presence, in how close they were, in the warmth that lay between them, for a little longer before speaking. "Cat got your tongue, Heero?" she asked, her smile becoming playful.

Heero's eyes widened for a moment before he smiled again, a bit of nervousness in his expression. "Yeah… I guess so… I've never experienced anything like that before. That was…"

"Wonderful?" Murrue finished for him, her voice barely over a whisper, "Euphoric? Amazing? Exhilarating? Or should I just go with all of the above?"

Heero nodded. "I… I suppose that'd be a good place to start…"

Murrue leaned over and kissed him. "Perhaps," she said as their lips parted, "but it hardly does it justice… it hardly does you justice, Heero… my love. You were… breathtaking."

His face became even redder in response, but that didn't stop him from returning the kiss she'd given him with one of his own. "Thanks," he said as he pulled away, laying his head back down on the pillow they shared, "you were…divine."

"Oh, Heero…" she said, his praise only further increasing the heat that was flowing to her face.

It was his first time, she thought, so naturally he'd be so enamored, so taken by me… still, to hear him say that… it's wonderful.

A content silence fell between them for a few moments as they simply held each other close, taking in each other's warmth and affection. Eventually Heero broke the silence. His voice was hushed, as if he were afraid of shattering the incredible feeling the two of them were enveloped in.

"So," he said, "what… what becomes of us now, Murrue?"

She responded by giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Whatever you desire, Heero. We're together now… we're one, my love. Two people, two personalities… but one heart, one love."

Heero nodded. "I… I know, but… Murrue, I've never been in any sort of relationship before. I… I don't know what comes next, after… this."

"I'm well aware of that, Heero," she replied, releasing his hand and caressing his cheek, "Which is why I'll be with you every step of the way. I knew going into this that you lacked the same experience as I did, and I'm fine with that, Heero, I truly am. I want to explore the depths of our feelings with you, to face all that life throws at us from here on out together… we'll go wherever our love takes us, Heero. That is what comes next."

It wasn't exactly a factual answer to his query; it was full of romanticism and sentimentality, and Murrue was well aware of that. She also knew that it didn't matter; she could see the look on Heero's face become one of understanding, and another, more confident smile appeared as he reached out to her with his free hand and mirrored the caress that she was giving him.

"Murrue… thank you."

She nodded. "You are most welcome, Heero… my love."

They lay there quietly for a few minutes before Heero adjusted his position, taking Murrue in his arms and raising himself up slightly against the wall behind the bed. Murrue put both her arms around him and together the two of them starred out the large viewport the Captain's cabin was blessed with, taking in the beautiful view of the stars as they slowly drifted by the Archangel. The sheets fell slightly as they did so, revealing Murrue's bare, pale shoulders.

"I've spent so much of my life in outer space," said Heero, causing her to look at him, "but in all that time… I've never seen the stars quite like this. In the past they seemed lonely and distant, just waiting to be swallowed by the darkness. They sat in the void, as if resigned to death… I thought it was sad."

"Now, though," he continued, "it's different. When I look out at them now, the stars are… alive. They look so small, mere pinpricks of light against the darkness… but that tiny bit of light is all that's needed to hold the void back. They're defiant, resolute, united… and beautiful."

At that last word he turned to Murrue. "Before I met you… I saw most people the same way as I did those stars. Only a few, my friends, burned brightly… while the rest of humanity just seemed to drift by in loneliness and resignation."

"Heero…" said Murrue softly, her eyes widening.

"Murrue," Heero replied, "you changed that for me. Here, now, with you… I can see mankind as I do the stars outside your cabin. By ourselves our light is as nothing against the void, but together... together we're more than enough to drive back the darkness. Individually, only a few can shine, but together… all burn infinitely brighter. You're one of those single burning stars, those beacons that drive back the darkness… and now that we're together, you burn even brighter… as do I."

Murrue nodded and smiled before leaning up to kiss him. "Yes, Heero," she whispered as their lips parted, "you and I, we are two of those stars. By ourselves our light is small against the void, but together, no darkness can hold back our fire. Your strength, you courage, your cunning, your compassion… you burn brighter than any other star, any other man I've ever met, but you know as well as I that there is only so much you can do by yourself. Together, though… we'll illuminate the sky."

Heero smiled, and he let out a small chuckle. "It's funny… I never considered myself to be a romantic, but… you've given me a sentimental side, Murrue."

"Hardly," she replied, reaching up to run her hand through his thick brown hair, "you've always had one, Heero; it was just trapped by the pain and guilt you've carried around in your heart for so long. Together, though… we can finally set it free. You've defended me not just from enemies on the battlefield, but my own doubts and guilt… and I'm going to do the same for you. I'll shelter you from the demons of your past, and together we'll drive out the pain and despair that's besieged your heart for so long… and move forward into a future of light and hope."

Heero responded by pulling her even closer and leaning in to kiss her. "You've already done that for me, Murrue," he said softly as he pulled away, "for years I've allowed myself to be shackled by my own guilt and sorrow, by self-loathing… but you severed those bonds, destroyed them in a manner I never thought possible. Murrue… you set me free. Thank you."

Murrue pulled him back in for another kiss. "Anytime, my love," she replied.

The two of them then settled back down onto the bed, laying there in each other's arms. Murrue felt Heero pull the covers back up to completely cover her shoulders before he once again took her completely into his embrace, pulling her as close to him as he could. As she laid her head back down on the pillow they shared she looked into his eyes, and she could once again see the familiar strength and resolve burning inside them.

"Murrue," said Heero firmly, "no matter what happens tomorrow, I promise that I'll come back to you alive. I don't care if I have to take on the entire ZAFT fleet; nothing is going to stop me from returning to you. Now… now that I know that you share my feelings… my love… I'll be able to focus completely on the battle. I'll break through ZAFT's lines, I'll destroy Avalon, I'll break Rehema's parents out of the capitol… and I'll come back to you. I won't leave you to face this war alone… nor will I let you face the future alone. I will survive, Murrue, and we'll be together… now until the ending of the world."

Murrue reached over and put her hand on his cheek. "I know you will, Heero," she replied softly, "I know that you'll come back to me. My faith in your abilities is absolute, Heero. I may be afraid, knowing what you will face… but I believe in you, Heero. I know that you'll triumph, and I'll do everything in my power to help you. When you're on your way out of the capitol, when you're coming back to me, I won't let a single ZAFT warship stand in your way. After you take Avalon down and I move the Archangel into position, I'll hit the enemy with everything I've got; I will not let them stop you. I won't give them a chance. The Archangel, the Eternal, the Kusanagi… we'll all cover you, Heero, and you'll come back to me."

She then gave him a playful smile. "And when you do, we'll have a few things to talk about… such as adjusting your living arraignments."

Murrue was pleased to see Heero's face redden at her words. "Murrue… are you…?"

She nodded. "Yes, Heero." She leaned over and kissed him, and when she pulled back her smile took on a predatory edge. "You're moving in with me, Heero. I know that will make the crew more likely to realize that we're in a relationship… but I don't care, Heero. No… I want them to know that we're together, Heero. I don't want to hide the love that we share; I want the others to know, both the crew and our allies, just how strong our feelings are for each other, just how happy we are together."

She then winked at him. "Besides, as I said before, I'm no longer part of the Atlantic Federation military; I'm no longer bound by any rules or regulations regarding a relationship between us… not that I would've obeyed them anyway. You were never covered by those restrictions to begin with… and I doubt that would've stopped you either. I want you to move into my room with me, Heero, and I want us to be open about our relationship. I trust that won't be a problem for you… especially after tonight."

The Gundam pilot's eyes widened for a moment before he gave her a small smile. "No problem at all, Murrue… I'm looking forward to it."

"I know you are, love," she replied, "and I'll be sure to give you a very warm welcome when you do."

"All the more reason for me to come back alive," said Heero as he leaned over to kiss her.

"Indeed," said Murrue as their lips parted, "and I know it won't take you long to settle in; after all, you packed light when you came to our world."

Heero nodded, his smile becoming a smirk. "Aside from Wing Zero, everything I brought with me fits into that bag I have in my quarters."

"Your former quarters, Heero," said Murrue firmly, "and seeing as it'll be a quick move… I'll be able to give you the welcome you deserve in short order."

"And I'll make sure to return the… hospitality," said Heero.

Now it was Murrue's turn to blush as her mind flashed back to what had occurred between them not too long ago… and how she could look forward to a repeat performance, and many more beside in the future. "You know…" she said softly after a moment, "you truly are a gentleman, Heero."

"I don't know about that," he replied, "I'm pretty rough around the edges."

"To some people, perhaps," said Murrue, smiling warmly, "but not to me, love… not to me."

"Only because you know me," said Heero, "better than anyone else… in this world or my old one."

"That's because they couldn't see you for who you truly were," Murrue replied, "your fellow Gundam pilots, your allies… they saw you as a soldier. Sure, I'm willing to bet they knew that there was more to you than that, but they didn't realize just how much more there was. Even Relena… from what you told me, I know she tried to understand you, to see who you really were… but in the end, she couldn't bridge the divide between her ideals and the grim reality of your life, could she?"

Heero shook his head. "No… and I think it's better that way. Relena… she needed that idealism and purity of purpose to become the leader the Earth Sphere needed. She may not be the actual head of government in my world… but she's its heart, and everyone recognizes that. I admired her for the strength of her convictions… but I also recognized them as the divide between us, as you so astutely pointed out. For all her wisdom, she could never truly understand that sometimes people have no choice but to take up arms to protect what they care about… to defend the people they love."

Heero then gave Murrue another small smile. "But you, Murrue… you do understand that. You were willing to join the armed forces, even if it was initially just the reserves, because you wanted to protect your friends and family. Since then you've continued to fight to protect the people under your command, the people you care about. You've taken on incredible odds, defied your homeland, challenged both the superpowers of this world, all in the name of protecting those you hold dear to you… including me. You have a strength that Relena could never match… you're willing to accept the burden that comes with taking life if it means protecting those close to you and keeping others from having to dirty their hands with the blood of others. You've accepted responsibility for the lives of everyone on board the Archangel, and have done everything in your power to lead and protect them, to bring them through the fires of war and out in one piece. You're not just their commanding officer, their leader; you're their guardian, Murrue. They've all placed their faith in you to take them from one battle to the next and to keep them alive in the process… and you have, Murrue. Granted, none of us have made it this far without scars, whether they be physical or emotional, and we did lose one pilot to enemy action, but that in no way detracts from the fact that you pulled off a miracle, Murrue… one that no one else could've done. Your courage, your strength, your compassion… they all enabled you to triumph against impossible odds…and they were vital in bringing us together."

"Heero…" Murrue replied, yet again blushing at his praise, "I… I'm thrilled that you think that of me… that you see me as having that strength… but I know that I would never have been able to lead the Archangel and her crew through all our trials and battles without you fighting alongside me. You spoke of my courage, strength, and compassion enabling me to triumph… I could say the same for you. No, I'd go further; you enabled me to stand strong against all those that wanted to destroy us, against the darkness that threatens to engulf this world. Your incredible bravery, your phenomenal determination, your sharp cunning, your gentle heart… they all supported me when I needed them most; you supported me, kept me upright against the powerful blows that the long and brutal storm that is this war have rained down upon me and my ship. You protected me in battle with a loyalty and devotion the likes of which I never knew existed, and in my moments of weakness you gave me a shoulder to cry on, an embrace to take shelter in… you've been so selfless, Heero, in the way you care about me. Without that I doubt I would've been able to shoulder the burden that leading the Archangel through this war has been… nor would I have found the love I've always dreamed of, the compassion, fealty, and companionship I've longed for. The qualities you listed in me, the ones you said were vital in bringing us together… you were right, but you forgot one important detail."

"And what's that?" asked Heero.

"They're in you as well, Heero," she said before leaning over to kiss him. After she did so and pulled back she spoke again. "Your courage, your strength, your compassion… they all drew me to you as powerfully as mine did you to me. We may be two different people, Heero… but we share the same heart."

Heero nodded. "Yeah… you're right, Murrue."

With that he pulled her in for another kiss, this time a longer one than the last few. Murrue felt his mouth open as his lips met hers, and she responded in kind. Their tongues came forward and met each other halfway, once again intertwining and dancing a warm, wet waltz.

When they eventually parted Murrue laid her head down beside Heero's, less than an inch away from her lover's. As their eyes met she was thrilled to see the open affection and devotion held within them, alongside the courage and resolve that had given her strength beyond any she thought had existed before meeting the incredible young man that now shared her bed.

"I love you, Heero Yuy," she whispered.

"I love you too, Murrue Ramius," he replied.

(End "Eternity ~ Memory of Lightwaves")

….

Looking out the window of Murrue's cabin, Heero finished making the final adjustments to his uniform. Slipping on the ornate blue jacket, he then checked to make sure his saber was fitted comfortably at his side.

"Are you sure about wearing that today?" came Murrue's voice from behind him.

He turned around as she walked up to him, buttoning up her uniform as she did so. The two of them had just gotten out of bed about fifteen minutes ago, and both would have to get to their respective stations shortly; the strike team was slated to launch in less than half an hour.

Heero nodded as she came to a stop a couple inches before him. "Waltfeld contacted me three days after the meeting during one of the exercises and said I should for psychological impact."

"I'm afraid I don't follow," Murrue replied, raising an eyebrow.

"At first I didn't either," said Heero, "but after he explained it, I could see some of his reasoning."

"Care to elaborate?" asked Murrue.

"The impact's for two targets," said Heero, "first and foremost is Shemei's parents. Remember, Waltfeld mentioned during the meeting that they were stubborn about going into hiding, which was why Zala and the radicals were able to capture them in the first place. That quality could well come into play when I break into Charon Prison."

"You mean Waltfeld thinks they might refuse our rescue?" Murrue replied, her eyes widening.

"Yes," Heero replied, "for a few reasons. Waltfeld said that Soran Rehema was the more vocal of the Valkyrie's parents in opposition to Field Marshal Bristow's plan to get them underground. This was due to a combination of pride, complacency, and a desire not to escalate the situation."

"The first two I can understand," said Murrue, "and you told me that when you spoke to Waltfeld during the battle he mentioned that Rehema's father was particularly stubborn about not wanting to go into hiding. That play's into the pride you mentioned, and I suppose I can see why both Soran and Akila Rehema would just prefer not to believe their daughter about their own government being out to get Naturals. The escalation bit you mentioned is throwing me for a loop, though."

"Right, sorry," said Heero, "according to Waltfeld, both of the Valkyrie's parents believed that, if there was indeed government animosity towards the Naturals living in the PLANTs, any act of defiance or subversion on their part would only lead to harsher actions by the ruling party against others. They thought that by sitting tight and ridding out the worst of things they could help the situation by presenting an image of pacification and subservience to the government. A misguided belief, as their current situation and that of all Naturals in the PLANTs proves, but one can see the logic behind it."

Murrue nodded, and Heero could see the grim comprehension in her eyes. "Yes," she said softly, "I suppose so, and taking that into account I can see why Waltfeld's worried that they may be hesitant to go with you when you hit Charon Prison. Still, how is wearing your formal uniform supposed to help matters?"

"That was my question as well," said Heero, "Waltfeld's answer was… interesting."

"How so?" asked Murrue.

"He told me that, though I already had already commanded his personal respect due to my actions since coming to the Cosmic Era," Heero replied, "seeing me in my uniform served to increase the admiration and professional courtesy he felt towards me. He believed that the uniform enhanced my image as a soldier, and while he wasn't advocating me wearing it all the time, he felt that in this situation the visual enhancement it gave me would prove useful in convincing Soran and Akila Rehema to trust me and come with me. They're both former officers from the Egyptian Air Force, and Waltfeld believed that background would cause them to have an instinctive respect for me in that uniform as opposed to just a flight suit. The feeling would be subtle, but still there… and Waltfeld thinks it will give me the edge I need to convince them to trust me."

"You'll need every edge you can get," said Murrue, concern clear in her expression, "this operation is extremely time sensitive. The longer we take on any part of it, the more time ZAFT will have to get reinforcements into position and overwhelm us. Every second counts, and the Valkyrie's parents being suspicious of you and hesitating to go with you could result in you death!"

"Exactly," said Heero, nodding solemnly, "even with Bristow covering my back, my time on site at Charon Prison will be extremely limited. I need to be in and out as quickly as possible, and opposition on the part of the elder Rehema's will not help matters. If the uniform helps give my image a sense of professionalism and trustworthiness, if it serves to win over the Rehema's or even slightly influence their opinions of me, then it's worth the risk of not wearing a flight suit. Besides, if I wind up in such dire straits that I actually need my flight suit… well, I'll be dead in short order."

"Don't talk like that," said Murrue, and Heero's eyes widened as she swiftly reached out and grabbed his shoulders, "Heero, I know that this mission will be extremely dangerous for you… but please, do not even think about dying. I need you to focus, to be strong… to come back to me. I can't lose you, Heero; I can't even bear to think about it!"

"Murrue…" Heero said softly, his lover's sudden outburst catching him off guard. The fears that had been suppressed the night before, blown over by their released passion, were now rearing their head, and although Heero was touched by Murrue's concern for him, it also pained him to see such worry in her face.

Determined to provide her comfort and reassurance, Heero put his left arm around Murrue and pulled her close while bringing his right up to her face. Softly touching her cheek, he leaned forward and gave her a hard, firm kiss. Murrue responded instantly, throwing her arms around him and holding him tightly as she returned his physical affections.

As their lips parted Heero spoke, his voice firm and resolute. "Murrue, I swore to you that I would come back to you, and I will. No fleet, army, or battle-station will keep me from completing this mission and returning to your side, I promise you. I will survive, I will come back, and we will be together. Knowing that you're here, waiting for me, loving me, is all I need to keep my focus, to have the strength to triumph… but I can't do it alone. I need you to focus as well, to summon the extraordinary courage and strength that I know you have inside you. Do that, and we'll both make it through this alive."

Murrue nodded, and Heero was relieved to see a soft smile appear on her face. "I will, Heero. Forgive me; I shouldn't have let my fears come to the surface like that."

Heero shook his head and returned her smile. "It's alright, Murrue. It's natural to be scared; anyone going into this mission that isn't scared is a fool. I feel that same fear, but I know that I can face it and overcome it… and I know that you can do the same. You're the strongest person I've ever met, Murrue, and with you supporting me, being there with the Archangel when the time's right, I know we'll survive."

"Yes," said Murrue, her smile growing, that incredible warm strength of hers coming to the surface, driving back her fears, "you're right, Heero… thank you."

Heero nodded. "You're welcome, Murrue."

As the two of them released each other Murrue spoke again. "Heero, earlier you said that Waltfeld mentioned two targets for the psychological impact that came with your uniform. What was the second, or was Waltfeld only referring to Soran and Akila Rehema?"

Heero shook his head. "Commander Rehema's parents were one of Waltfeld's targets; the other was the leadership of ZAFT and the PLANTs. It's a challenge, Murrue."

"I don't understand, Heero," said Murrue, "you're breaking into Charon Prison, and while that may be in Aprilius One it does not directly involve Patrick Zala or any of his cohorts."

"Not directly," said Heero, "but within the cell Rehema's parents are being kept in there are no doubt several monitoring devices. It might seem like overkill, but given their value as hostages against the Valkyrie the radicals have a vested interest in monitoring them thoroughly. Some of the cameras and audio bugs will undoubtedly be destroyed when I breach their cell, but Waltfeld's betting on one or two surviving… and capturing my image."

"Murrue," he continued, "aside from Waltfeld, Aisha, Rehema, and her subordinates, no one in ZAFT knows what the pilot of Wing Zero really looks like. When Zala and his cohorts review the footage from Charon Prison after the raid they'll finally see the soldier behind the machine… and they'll know that their greatest defenses cannot stand against him. It will strike fear into the hearts of the leaders of the PLANTs and ZAFT… and that fear will seep into the hearts of the rank and file, further fueling the dread they already have of me. I may not have had any contact with ZAFT soldiers apart from Waltfeld and his allies, along with Athrun and Dearka, but from what they've told me it's clear that Wing Zero has become an avatar of death and destruction to the enemy's frontline troops. Seeing the image of the pilot of that mobile suit in full military regalia only serves to enhance the psychological impact, and that will serve us well in future battles."

Murrue nodded. "It makes sense, I'll give you and Waltfeld that much… but what makes you think that footage from the surviving cell monitors will leak to ZAFT's rank and file? I would imagine that the higher-ups would want to keep something of that nature under wraps."

"A valid point," Heero replied, "and one I brought up to Waltfeld. He told me in turn that Bristow's contacts within the prison staff would leak the footage; apparently he's managed to slip a mole into the monitoring staff. That agent was the same one that managed to ascertain the exact location of Soran and Akila Rehema within Charon Prison. They can't help me directly more than that, but their leaking the surveillance footage to the regular ZAFT forces could make them even more fearful of meeting us in battle. After all… if I can penetrate into the heart of their homeland… well, in their eyes, what can't I do?"

Murrue's eyes widened for a moment before she surprised Heero with a devious smile. "Yes… and the awe and fear your actions inspire within them could well make them hesitate when they are forced to confront you in battle in the future. That would give us a vital opening… and with the power of Wing Zero and the Archangel, it'd be one we could use to devastating effect."

"Exactly, Murrue," said Heero.

Murrue nodded, her expression becoming more serious. "Alright, Heero. I still don't like this, along with the plan as a whole, but I understand the reasoning behind it. I already told you that I'm behind you one-hundred percent, and that hasn't changed; no matter what happens, I've got your back."

"That's all I need, Murrue," Heero replied, reaching out to grab her hands.

The two of them stood there for a moment, hands clasped together, meeting each other's gaze. Their eyes hid nothing from each other, and they could see everything their companion was feeling at that moment. Resolve, gratitude, concern, trepidation… and above all else, love.

After a few seconds the two of them turned together to look at the digital clock on the wall, and they knew that they could no longer stay in Murrue's quarters, regardless of how much they wanted to; it was time.

They walked to the door, hand in hand, drawing courage and strength from each other, steeling themselves for the operation that would soon be underway. After entering the hallway and closing the door behind them, the two lovers turned to each other again and came together in a fierce embrace. As they did so their lips sought out their partner's, and they shared a deep, passionate kiss.

"Murrue," said Heero softly as they parted, his face still mere inches from hers, "I love you."

"I love you too, Heero," Murrue whispered, smiling, "fly like I know you can, and know that my heart goes with you."

….

(Start "Prologue")

"Lieutenant Tsukino," said Murrue from the Captain's chair, "are we ready?"

The black-haired XO nodded, smiling at Murrue. "All systems are ago, ma'am. Our timer is synched with those of the Eternal and Kusanagi; Wing Zero's due to launch in less than a minute."

Murrue nodded before checking her personal monitor. "Heero's just established a telemetry feed between us and Wing Zero; we'll know when he takes down Avalon. Lieutenant, I want us ready to move in the instant that battle-station is destroyed."

"Roger that, Captain," she replied.

There was tension in the air as Murrue looked over her bridge crew, and she could not blame them for being nervous; the operation they were about to undertake was unlike any other they had attempted before. Despite the enormous risks involved, though, Murrue could also sense pride and confidence in her subordinates as they carried out their duties. They knew just how important their mission was, and they had been tested in battle more than enough now to have faith in their abilities… and their Captain. As she looked around Murrue saw her fellow crewmembers give her nods and smiles, and she knew that no matter what happened, they would follow her without question or hesitation.

It's hard to believe that I can command such loyalty, she thought, all I want is to protect my crew, to do everything in my power to help them survive… and they truly respect that. We've all come such a long way together… I suppose they truly do see me as having that courage and strength that Heero so admires… that he so loves.

Checking the timer on her personal monitor, Murrue then turned back to the bridge crew. "Miriallia, open the hangar doors," she ordered, "It's nearly time."

"Yes, ma'am," the girl replied, and Murrue was pleased to note how calm and collected she was.

She started out as just a civilian dragged into this conflict, she thought, and on top of that, she lost her boyfriend in the Marshall Islands. I could not blame her if she gave into despair, but she's stayed strong, and is as determined as the rest of us to fight and end this war. She's grown so much… they all have.

As the timer entered the final phase of the countdown a transmission came from the Eternal, addressed to the entire group.

"Everyone," said Waltfeld, "this is it. Fight like you have since before we all joined forces, and I know we'll triumph. God be with you, if you're the religious type. If not, then may Lady Luck keep us in her grace." There was a brief pause before the timer hit zero, and then he spoke again. "Strike team, launch!"

The Desert Tiger's transmission ended then, replaced by the voice of the young man on who the entire operation depended. "Wing Zero, launching."

The Gundam that had rocked the entire Earth Sphere to its foundations since its arrival in the Cosmic Era months ago shot out of the hangar, trailing blue-white thruster fire like a comet. As it flew to the head of the formation of three capital ships it was joined by the Justice from the Kusanagi and the Freedom and the three Wraiths from the Eternal. The Valkyrie's subordinate formed up around Heero in a triangle , with one pilot above him, one to his lower left, and the other at his lower right, while Kira and Athrun took Heero's right and left respectively.

"Transmission coming in from Wing Zero," said the communications officer, "it's on the tactical channel."

"Put it on screen," said Murrue.

Heero's face appeared on the main bridge monitor, and even through the screen Murrue could feel the calm, cool confidence coming from the Perfect Soldier. He was resolved, focused, and adamant in his purpose, and Murrue could feel her own strength rise to new heights as her eyes met his.

He's had that affect on me for so long now, she thought, it's incredible, almost narcotic… I don't know what I'd do without it, who I'd be without it. A lesser person, a lesser woman… Heero, you've changed my life in a way I never thought possible.

She gave the Gundam pilot her complete and undivided attention as he spoke. "All systems are green," he said, "telemetry feed established. Murrue, you getting everything?"

Murrue nodded. "I am, Heero. The moment you destroy Avalon, we'll take up position and be ready to reinforce you. We'll clear your exit path; count on it."

"Roger that," he replied. He then gave her a small smile. "I will survive, Murrue, and I will come back to you. I love you."

Murrue could feel all eyes on the bridge turn to her, and she had no doubt her subordinates were looking at her with stunned expressions on their faces. Her face reddened slightly at the attention she was receiving, but she didn't let that stop her from giving Heero her resounding reply, along with a warm, confident smile.

"I love you too, Heero," she replied, firmly and without hesitation.

There was a moment of silence before another voice came over the radio… and Murrue remembered that Heero contacted her on the tactical channel, meaning everyone had heard his message.

"Well it's about damn time!" said Cagalli from the Kusanagi, "What the hell took you two so long?"

"Lady Cagalli!" came Kisaka's voice in the background. The poor Colonel sounded embarrassed at his ward's conduct.

"What?" Orb's tomboyish princess replied, "I can't have been the only one who was waiting for them to finally spit it out!"

"Indeed, you were not, Cagalli," came another voice, that of Lacus Clyne from the Eternal. Unlike Heero's, the two girls faces did not appear on the Archangel's monitor, but Murrue could tell just from the tone of their voices that they were smiling.

It seems Aisha was not the only one with their suspicions regarding our feelings for each other, Murrue mused.

"Congratulations, both of you," the songstress continued, her joy clear in her voice.

Murrue's smile grew, and as she looked on the screen she saw Heero's do the same. "Thank you, both of you," she replied.

"Yeah," said Heero, "same here."

"You are most welcome," said Lacus.

"No problem," said Cagalli, "now go kick some ass, Heero, and don't you dare think of dying on Captain Ramius!"

Heero nodded, and though he spoke in response to the blond girl's words, Murrue new that his reply was truly intended for her. "Mission accepted. Wing Zero, out."

The Gundam pilot's face disappeared from the screen as he signed off, and Murrue took that moment to look at her bridge crew. Her subordinates were all looking at her, but their expressions were not the shock that she had been expecting. A few had bemused looks on their faces, some seemed mildly surprised, while a few more were actually smiling slightly. None of them showed any signs of revulsion or horror at the revelation that their Captain was in a relationship with a man that was ten years her junior, who wasn't even eighteen yet; though the announcement had taken them off guard, their faith in Murrue remained strong and unwavering.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised, really, she mused, the way I've acted in the past when Heero goes into battle, when he's in danger… I suppose some of them had their suspicions about us. Well, it's finally out in the open, and it seems I still have their support despite that revelation… that's all I can ask.

After a second or two her subordinates returned their attention to their duty stations, leaving Murrue free to watch the main monitor. The image it displayed now was that of the strike team rapidly leaving the three warships behind as they streaked towards the Coordinator homeland. The six mobile suits were already little more than pinpricks of blue-white light, and soon they would disappear from visual range entirely.

Be careful, Heero, Murrue thought, you know your limits better than anyone else, and I won't second guess you now… but please, watch yourself out there. I won't deny that my fear is still in my heart… but so is my belief, my faith in you. You're the best damn pilot I've ever seen, the best this world, any world, has ever seen, and if anyone can pull off a mission like this, it's you. Fly without fear or doubt… and come back to me!

Preview for next time!

Six mobile suits against an armada and a battle-station with the firepower to rival that of any fleet… it is a feat unheard of in the Cosmic Era, a suicide mission if there ever was one. Yet it is a mission that the Three Ships Alliance has undertaken in order to rescue the parents of the Valkyrie from the grips of the radical faction and enable the elite pilot to join their ranks. That the Perfect Soldier is leading an operation to save the family of his rival is an irony lost on no one, least of all Wing Zero's pilot. The Avalon Line represents a force greater than any Heero has ever challenged before, but it is one that he will confront head on without doubt or hesitation… and in doing so, he will ascend to heights unimagined by any other pilot, regardless of the world from whence they came. Next time, on "Journey to a New Battlefield", Episode Twenty-One: Avalon.

This… is how legends are born…

Author's notes: Well, it took me twenty chapters, but I've finally brought my main pairing together! Oh man, feels like yesterday that I first started writing this fic, and now I've just hit the two-thirds mark. We've got a long way to go yet, though, folks, and just because Heero and Murrue are now an item doesn't mean this fic losses it's romance heading; there will be plenty of moments of further bonding between the Beautiful Captain and the Perfect Soldier as the story roles along.

But, the next chapter's focus is battle, and one I've been planning for a long time at that. Of course, you guys will have to wait awhile until you can read that battle; as I've said before, I don't do rush jobs. Just sit back and be patient, you all should by now that the wait will be more than worth it.

Please review, and until next time my friends!