Brody hadn't called Jess. They hadn't gathered up their things and gone home like they said they would. There was no firm handshake and no "let's never speak of this incident again". They had just hung out, talked, took a walk. It was nice just being with her. She was a little different today, he thought. Less sure of herself. It could be the mighty hangover, he guessed. They had both sworn never to touch another drop in their lives. She seemed more vulnerable that day. Of course this only made him like her even more. She certainly didn't seem like she was in the mood for picking fights with white supremacists any more, he noted. Thank god for that.
He convinced her to stay another night, to see where all this was headed. He offered to help her to straighten up the cabin after 'hurricane Tequila' had struck, drawing a laugh from that wide smile. He pulled his t-shirt down at the neck to show her the mark on his left shoulder where she had bitten him. She acted incredulous but he knew she remembered. Another, slightly nervous, laugh followed.
Brody didn't have the energy to go back home and have the inevitable fight with Jess, anyway. This wasn't about settling a score, just because she had something going on with Mike Faber. This was about him throwing off the shackles of everyone and everything placing unreasonable demands on his troubled mind. He had just been released after eight years away, of course he was going to want to cut loose, get drunk and go off the rails a little. Right? He pushed all thoughts of home, of everything else, away entirely and just concentrated on what was right in front of him, in this moment. It felt like a luxury.
She had kissed the scars on his chest. Although the sight of it made him shudder with pleasure, he stopped her.
Scar tissue knits over wounds so that you are able to carry on. It closes over the sites of injuries so they don't hurt so much any more. But scar tissue is thick, it doesn't have nerve endings in it. You can't feel it if someone touches you in a place where you've already been hurt. He knew that she was only trying to make better what had happened to him. But she couldn't. He didn't want her to focus on what had already been. Brody liked being around Carrie because she let him feel the now and made him feel that now wasn't necessarily all a product of what had happened to him then. It followed that if the present wasn't dictated by the past, then the future wasn't either. This was the feeling of hope he got when he was with her. She made the now count for something and that made him think that he could still be a different person.
She looked uncertain. Not so brave now that they were doing this without the invisible cloak of alcohol. If she bit him tonight she'd be fully accountable. There was no pretending. He marvelled at her perfect skin opposite his mauled torso. He looked her in the eye while he slowly peeled her jeans over her hips and pulled her groin level with his, letting her feel just how much he wanted her.
Carrie flung her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, pulling him down onto the bed on top of her. It hadn't been as frantic as the night before, more steady and intense. The bed lurched as they moved together. Brody paused just to fix it all in his memory, he needed to be able to remember this overwhelming feeling of blessed peace clearly. Carrie had asked him if he was okay, if he wanted to stop, probably worried he was having an attack of conscience and that he was going to frustrate her. He could tell that she didn't want him to stop. They looked at each other. Right at each other - into each other, if that was at all possible. Brody decided then that he didn't ever want to look away.
Brody started up again, harder this time, and it wasn't long before he felt her breathless body begin to buckle beneath him. He heard her cry out. The noises she made were nearly enough to finish him off, but to distract himself he he bore all his weight on his right fist, clenching the pillow and hiding his face in her neck, unable to look at her again until she had calmed down. He teetered on the brink for a couple of seconds but managed to keep himself from falling over the edge. He didn't want this to be finished just yet. When Carrie had recovered, and her breathing had returned to normal, he touched her face and kissed her softly, his eyes smiling.
He said her name. The next time they neared the edge, they fell off together.