Chapter 3
Conan: I Love you !
Haibara: Ha Ha !
Conan: I will die for you !
Haibara: Ha Ha ha!
Conan: I will buy a diamond ring for you
Haibara: Aww.. really! Promise?
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Conan: HaHa Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha.
Shinichi to Yusaku: Dad!, My girlfriend 'Ran' has left me & she sent me "private pictures" with herself and her new boyfriend... what should I do?
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Yusaku:(thoughtfully) Sent them all to her father!
Conan: What do you think, how do I play Violin?
Haibara: I wish you were on T.V.!
Conan: I am so happy to hear that, Am I that Good?
Haibara: Ummm... Not really; if you were on T.V. I can at least switch it off.
Genta: (indignantly) I do not think I deserved zero on this test!
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Kobayashi: I agree, but that is the lowest mark I could give you!
Driver- That 5/Rupee Tip you Gave Me Was An Insult
Shiho- How Much Should I Tip you
Driver- Minimum 10/Rupee
Shiho- I Don't Want To Insult you Twice!
Shiho: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?
Vermouth: Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!
Shiho: Why are Boyfriends like parking spaces?
Vermouth: The good ones are already taken!
Shiho: What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?
Vermouth: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked.
Haibara to her boyfriend: Wanna see a magic trick?
Conan: Sure, babe.
Haibara: BAM! You're single.
Shiho: What does a penis and a boyfriend have in common?
Vermouth: All men have one!
Shiho. How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy?
Vermouth. Who cares?
Shiho: When would you want a man's company?
Vermouth. When he owns it!
Shiho: How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups?
Vermouth: Put the remote control between his toes.
Shiho: What book do women like the most?
Vermouth: "Their boyfriends paycheck!"
Shiho: Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven?
Vermouth: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
Shiho: How can you tell when your boyfriend is well hung?
Vermouth: When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Vermouth: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for boyfriends?
Sherry: It changes their DNA.
Shiho: Why are boyfriends like cars?
Vermouth: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
Shiho: How many ex-boyfriends does it take to tile a bathroom?
Vermouth: Two – if you slice them very thinly.
Shiho: How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?
Vermouth: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Shiho: What do a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?
Vermouth: They're always coming early.
Shiho: What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common?
Vermouth: They both run at the first sign of emotion.
Shiho: What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?
Vermouth: The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.
Shiho: What's a boyfriends definition of a romantic evening?
Vermouth: Sex.
Shiho: What do you call a boyfriend who Masturbates more than twice a day?
Vermouth: A Terror-wrist.
Shiho: How does a boyfriend show he's planning for the future?
Vermouth: He buys an extra case of beer.
Shiho: What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis?
Vermouth: A Boyfriend.
Shiho: What is a major turnoff?
Vermouth: When your boyfriend talks about his ex.
Shiho: Why does your boyfriend have a hole in their penis?
Vermouth: So their brains can get some oxygen now and then.
Shiho: What's a boyfriends idea of honesty in a relationship?
Vermouth: Telling you his real name.
Shiho: Explain Boyfriend, and its attributes.
Vermouth: A boyfriend suppose to make yo panties WET not yo Eyes.
A Good Boyfriend: Knows you, trusts you, loves you, respects you, honors you, supports you, wants you, and appreciates you. And he doesn't exist.
A jealous boyfriend is a faithful boyfriend. If he doesn't get jealous when someone has your attention, it's because someone has his.
Kissing your boyfriend on the cheek(good).
Kissing your boyfriend in the mouth (awesome).
Kissing your boyfriend in front of his ex (boss).
Boyfriends are like blue jeans. They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced..
My boyfriend is like my I Phone. I don't have one.
A butcher 'Gin!' goes on a first date and says 'It was nice MEATING you!'
Conan:(trying to propose) Haibara, you've ever wished for a boyfriend?
Haibara: Every time I have to carry my groceries up the stairs, I wish I had a boyfriend.
Conan: Oi oi.
Conan: Do you want a kiss?
Haibara: No!.
Conan: Do you remember what I just said?
Haibara: Do you want a kiss?
Conan: Yes, if you insist...
Haibara(smirks): That pretty smart chivalry off yours, guess I've no other option!.
Conan (furiously blushing): Are you serious?
Haibara(Shrugs): Just kidding!.
Conan: Dear, do you know that exams are like girlfriend?
Haibara: How funny?
Conan: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful..
Haibara:(annoyed) If you were my husband, I would poison your drink
Conan: If you were my wife, I would drink it!
Conan: Life's a bitch, just like you.
Haibara: Actually life is short, just like your dick.
Conan: Murders are Pathetic, Just as your attitude that is soo sick.
Haibara: Ahraa, Look who speaks, A Corpse Magnet who happens to be a detective geek!, *Shrugs* or An Idiotic Sherlock Holmes freak.
Conan: Amazing world, only 25% boys have common sense, very short figure!
Haibara: What about Rest?
Conan: Well rest have GIRLFRIENDS!
Haibara: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me..
Conan: What a joke? Okay then, let's start with Kisses!"
Conan: "Hey babe, you smell that?"
Haibara: "No."
Conan: "Me neither, start cooking."
Conan: "Oh my god it smells like up sexy in here"
Haibara: "Whats up sexy?"
Conan: "Oh nothing much, you?"
Conan: I Have 2 words to tell you.
Haibara: What?
Conan: I love you.
Haibara: Isn't that 3?
Conan: No. because"You"& "I" count as 1.
Haibara: Asshole...*Rolls eyes*
Conan: Haha. I've been called worse before.
Haibara: Ha, like what? *Raises eyebrows*
Conan: Your boyfriend!.
Eri: Do you have a boyfriend?
Ran: Yes.
Eri: Oh my gosh, I wanna meet him!
Ran: Buy me backstage passes to his concert and we both will.
Shinichi discussing a story with Shiho.
I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine 'Ran', the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together.
I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic.
"Wow!", I said, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!"
She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge!
"Yeah", I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!"
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying that she thought tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway, I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" she giggled.
Shiho murmured "Hmm, so what happened anyway?"
Shinichi blurted "So what?, I told her to fuck off".
Conan and Shinichi
Shinichi and Conan are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends.
"What are you getting your girlfriend?" asks Conan.
And Shinichi says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
"Why both?" asks Conan.
And Shinichi says"That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Mercedes when she returns the ring."
And then Shinichi asks Conan "What are you getting your girlfriend?"
And Conan says"I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo. That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself."
Moral of the incident: Conan is always smarter than Shinichi.
Shinichi comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend 'Shiho', she says "I guess, I'll have to spread my legs now."
And Shinichi asks. "Why, don't you have a vase?"
Moral of the story: Shinichi is very dumb!. To fuck anybody.
Sherry: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Vermouth(Shrugs): My job still sucks!
Conan: Whats long and hard and has cum in it?
Haibara: A cucumber!
Conan had an erection, a hard on. Seeing him troubled Haibara speaks up
Haibara: "Hey, what's up?"
Conan: "If I tell you, will you sit on it?"
Shinichi was curious to know as to what Shiho had saved his name in her phone contacts, he guessed it would probably, A Knight, Sherlock, Detective Geek, Mystery freak, Lab Rat, Corpse Magnet, Love, Hubby, Genius, and any more adorable things to imagine.
After scanning, He stood speechless and frustrated as he read 'A T M'.
Conan: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Haibara: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."
During sex.
Shinichi: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
Shiho: Because their plugged into a genius!
Conan: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck?
Haibara: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them.
Conan: How is a woman like a road?
Haibara: Both have manholes.
Conan: Whats long hard and full of seamen?
Haibara: A submarine.
Shinichi: Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff?
Shiho: A Crane!
Mitsuhiko: Why doesn't Conan eat bananas?
Haibara: He can't find the zipper!
Shinichi: Three words to ruin a man's ego...?
Shiho: "Is it in?"
Conan: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
Haibara: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
Shiho: Why did God give men penises?
Shinichi: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Conan: What kind of bees produce milk?
Haibara: Boobies.
Shinichi: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Hatorri: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Conan: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common?
Haibara: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
Co - Ai sms of the day/chapter.
Haibara: Hey Edogawa-kun make a poetry on me, will you? Say anything with flowers / roses.
Conan: Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you.