It was the middle of the night when I finally found the strength to get out of bed….She was still naked in my arms, sound asleep, a faint smile painted on those divine lips, her satin skin glowing discreetly under the pale moonlight, and even if I should have felt the luckiest man on the face of the earth, something inside me screamed restlessly about just how wrong all that had been….

I stood for a moment on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands, not really wanting to leave her side, but at the same time aware of the fact that I couldn't stay there any longer…..By Styx, I felt so guilty and disgusted with myself that I was literally under the impression that I was going to vomit again….It was as if I had cheated on her or something….To top it all, as ridiculous and impossible as it might sound, those hours spent with her have been the most intense hours of my entire immortal existence, but at the same time our lovemaking felt more fake and empty than ever….What in Tartarus was wrong with me? I desperately loved this woman! Hades knows I couldn't have imagined a world without her in it, not even if my life had depended on it. What was she doing to me? Why the guilt, the remorse? Something was seriously wrong with my head…..

With a heart as heavy as a mountain and that absolutely unbearable pressure crushing my chest, I finally dematerialized from the room, having a very specific place in mind….Thebes….There was the very high possibility of a war in that area- exactly what I needed.

Needless to say, I almost had a heart attack when, stepping out of the aether, I discovered that I was in a completely different location from the one I had originally requested….Damned vortex! To all appearances, I had landed at one of Aphrodite's temples….and in the middle of what seemed to be some kind of ceremony….a quite unusual one too, given the amount of fabric my Sister had put on ….

I scanned the place with considerably more attention for a couple of seconds, just to make sure it was indeed her temple…. Rose petals, plush sofas, flowers everywhere, pink everything, nauseating extra sweet perfume in the air….check, check, check, check check! Plus, there she was, kneeling along with two other bimbos in front of three muscular impressively well endowed men…. Yeah, it was definitely one of her brothels, no doubt about it.….

" Hey there Baby Sis! It sure looks like I'm properly dressed fro the party!" I exclaimed, finally noticing that I had completely forgotten to put some clothes on as I left the fortress- nothing that a simple snap of my fingers couldn't have solved, but anyway…

" Shhhhhhhh! We're in the middle of a ritual, here Ar! So shut up and sit down! " she yelled at me, slightly taken aback by my nudity.

Shrugging my shoulders, I just took a seat on one of the sofas, figuring that getting to see her offering a blowjob to one of those lucky bastards would at least make me feel better about myself. My jaw almost fell to the floor when I heard her:

"Oh Goddess, Source of Gods and Mortals,

All-Fertile, All-Destroying Gaia,

Mother of All, Who brings forth the bounteous fruits and flowers,

All variety, Maiden who anchors the eternal world in our own,

Immortal, Blessed, crowned with every grace,

Deep bosomed Earth, sweet plains and fields fragrant grasses in the nurturing rains,

Around you fly the beauteous stars, eternal and divine,

Come, Blessed Goddess, and hear the prayers of Your children,

And make the increase of the fruits and grains your constant care, with the fertile seasons

Your handmaidens,

Draw near, and bless your supplicants."

"What the fuck…..!" I exclaimed, not knowing for sure if I was supposed to laugh or to….well….laugh…..

"Ares! Don't use the F word during a ritual! It's rude!" she vehemently protested, throwing me a deadly glare.

I froze. Not in fear obviously, but in utter shock.

A couple of minutes later, after a panoply of equally shocking thematic songs and a bit of meditation, the three naked men offered them their hands and helped them get up.

When there was no one left in the room but us, I finally found my voice and managed to express my surprise.

"That's it ? No…sucking?"

"Excuse me?!"

She looked revolted. I continued to look dumbfounded, I suppose.

" I was expecting a full, by the book…orgy here!" I confessed, obviously disappointed by the crappy ending of the scene.

" An orgy? ! Oh puhleeeeease Ares, that's ridiculous!"

Naturally, my eyes widened even more.

"And why would that be in any way ridiculous, may I ask?"

That was a fairly good question given the circumstances, you have to admit it. You would have asked her that too.

" As I said, it was a religious ritual. We were asking grandma Gaia for mercy. Lesbos had a very poor crop performance last summer, and this year doesn't look very promising thus far either. People are starving Ar…." she replied, pointing towards the empty altar.

"They need help….." she continued, right when I was about to give her a smart retort to match her boundless worry for those worthless peasants.

" That's heartbreaking…." I theatrically stated instead, unable to fully eliminate the irony of that line. " So uh….why do you care?" I inquired, still curious to find out some hidden agenda that I had no clue about.

"Why do you mean why do I care? They are my worshipers! They came to me for help! "

I just blinked stupidly for almost a minute, not knowing what to say.

" And by the way, why in Daddy's name aren't you wearing any clothes? Cover yourself! " she ordered, rapidly gazing away, and I could swear I saw her blushing.

"What?! Why?! There's nothing you haven't seen before! It's not like I've grown a second cock since the last time we fucked! " I stated-gazing down at what I have to admit was quite a monumental work of art.

"Ares! Mind your language, you're on sacred ground! What's gotten into you today?"

"Sacred ground? Don't make me laugh!"

I did though….for about thirty seconds or so, until I finally noticed that she didn't find my remark as half as funny as I did.

"Come on Dite, where's your sense of humor? "

" Would you put some clothes on, already? Really, Ar...It's enough that Allira and Sathryna saw you, there's no need for my entire temple to marvel at your….."

She suddenly stopped in mid sentence. Now that was interesting….

"My…" I continued, without actually finishing the phrase myself, adamant about letting her have the honor.

"Thing!"

"Thing?!"

I just had to laugh again at the childish way in which she had filled in the dots.

"Instrument! Better?!" she inquired, her face as red as burning lava.

This time, in spite of the fact that I wanted to laugh sooooo much, I just couldn't. That situation was getting waaayy to strange for my liking..

"Well….if you refer to IT as to the ultimate instrument of pleasure….I guess the metaphor wouldn't be so far-fetched. " I retorted, softly caressing the "thing" just for effect. When once again I saw that outraged expression on her face, I just had to add:

"Would you stop worrying about those damn bimbos of yours? We've already got acquainted….several times, if you know what I mean….And I'm not talking only about Allira and Sathryna, here…."

I abruptly ended my little speech though since she pretty much looked as if she was about to faint…..As if I had just hit her in the head with something-maybe with the thing.

"What?! What are you saying? They are virgins, Ares!"

A wave of laughter seized me once again. I couldn't have held it back not even if I had wanted it to.

" Oh really? I don't know about that, Sis. They weren't precisely what I would call….tight….Unless they've grown another hole ….somewhere, out of my reach!"

That was it! She was going to try to make a move and slap me or something, I could definitely see it coming. Nevertheless, to my boundless surprise , instead of acting on impulse like she usually did, she just closed her eyes and drew in a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm herself.

"I know what this is…You're just frustrated….I mean I understand...The anniversary of her death is just a week away. " she sated, her eyes filled with compassion, while elegantly taking a place by my side, and gently caressing my arm. " You're in pain….I know…."

" What are you talking about?" I asked, totally unfamiliar with the subject.

" I thought we've been through this already Ar….Denial won't help, on the contrary….She's dead, and that's that. You'll just have to accept it and move on…. There's no point in blaming yourself anymore…..your guilt won't bring her back…"

Her voice was low, barely above a whisper, but it all sounded awfully loud to me.

I brutally pushed her hand away, glaring daggers at her. She looked hurt and disappointed. She hadn't expected that type of reaction….

"Who's dead? " I suddenly inquired in a such a rough, acid voice that she immediately put some distance between us- the proof of some very spicy past experiences I presume.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up…." she tried to excuse herself, but there was no turning back. I felt as if the vault of the sky had fallen on my head and broken my body into pieces, as reality began changing its contours, reshaping the universe I knew, into a new, darker, distinct one.

"Who's dead?!" I screamed again, so loud that a couple of priestesses rushed immediately into the room to see what was going on.

" Get the fuck out of here!" I thundered, blasting a column behind them.

"Who's dead? Say it!"

For reasons that I can't explain, I was completely out of control, unable to command my own body and mind.

"Xena!" Aphrodite barked back at me, tears streaming down her perfect face. "Get used to it, Bro' cause she's never coming back….."

Once more, I scrutinized the surroundings, as if not knowing where I was….

"No, she's not…..I've just made love to her tonight…."

My hands were shaking...I was cold...

Casting a long, desperate glance at my sister, I saw that she was really crying now….But she hugged me…..she hugged me anyway, as tight as she could, and it felt good and comforting, and I felt safe and partially liberated of that excruciating pain.

"I held her in my arms half of the night….." I murmured, tears falling from my eyes too.

" It wasn't her Ar…It's never her…..You're imagining things again….It's ok. You'll get over it, I promise." she kept murmuring against my ear while rocking me back and forth, tightening her grip.

"No….."

It was a very broken "no"...very unconvincing.

"Shhhhh...You know I'm right, you know it..."

"No..." I repeated, but it was only in my head now, for I didn't actually utter the word. "How did she die?" I inquired through the now violent spasms taking over my body, while more and more of that salty liquid I often associated with mortals, washed over my ageless face.

"Athens, Stud...remember? "

I couldn't stand it any more. I fell in a puddle on the ground, hitting the marble floor with my fists as hard as I could.

"That Bitch stabbed her ..." I continued, vainly trying to fill my lungs with air. I felt like choking all over again...I could see her blood pouring down, so clearly..."I'm gonna kill her...I'll kill her!" I shouted so loudly, that my vocal cords almost snapped.

"She's dead, Stud...Gabby is dead. You've already killed her..."

"Then I'll kill her again! I'll kill her a thousand times! I'll kill her a million times if I have too, just to get Xena back...I'll kill her!"

Seconds passed Minutes passed. Time passed...My brain felt like it was about to explode to smithereens…..Never mind….It's not like I had the habit of using it frequently anyway….The problem was that something else hurt worse than Tartarus though….I couldn't feel my heart anymore….only a void inside my chest and an inhuman, absolutely terrifying emptiness…

"Lie to me, Dite...Lie to me that everything will be different in the morning" I begged in between sobs. "By all Olympus, just lie to me...Tell me that she'll get back to me..."

She didn't say anything...But I could distinctly sense her chest rising and falling way faster than mine...