Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Sooooo it's been awhile? A looooooooong while actually. Over a year in fact…I apologize for the loooooooon delay and am extremely sorry. I hope this makes up for it. I will be posting a new chapter every night this week till I am finished with the story. So here it is after a long wait. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the history or in the movie.

Eudorus helped Achilles in silence. There was nothing he could say to help his lord. There was so much he wanted to say, but nothing he knew quite how to vocalize.

By the time, he had found something to say the body was prepared. Taking a deep breath, Eudorus spoke calm and steady, "My lord? May I speak?"

Achilles simply nodded. Eudorus was about to speak when Achilles gave him a warning look, "If anything you say begins to sound like Briseis or Odysseus I will not hesitate to kill you."

"That is understandable, my lord. I wish to say that I knew Patroclus well. He was a good lad and fine soldier. I saw him fight and knew it wasn't you. He moved like you and I thought it was you, but when he made that simple mistake that cost him his life with Hector-"

Achilles growled, "When does this solace begin to actually console and not sting?"

"Soon, my lord, soon. He moved and fought like you, not because it was you that had trained him, but because it was you he wished to be. He cared deeply for you. The boy wanted nothing more to please you. He wanted to make you proud because it would make you happy. If he was to see you in this pain now…how would he feel, my lord?"

The words sank in slowly, but Achilles would not stop his self-punishment, "It matters not what he wants. It matters what I-"

"Is that not the thinking that caused his death, lord Achilles?"

The look he shot would have killed another man, but Eudorus knew his lord well enough. This pain and grief was not just another tantrum of his, it was true pain. Those were things Achilles took pains enough to make sure everyone thought it was not capable of…by Eudorus knew better. He knew better because he had seen him with the boy. Achilles was happy and proud. He looked at the boy and treated him far more differently than Eudorus had ever witnessed. So now as he gave him advise he spoke carefully, "My lord, I only say these things because what is it about the boy's death that upsets? Is this just another tantrum over a bruised ego? Or is it grief over the tragic death of a child?"

Achilles would have yelled and thrown the man out of his sight, but it was the last few words that gave him pause, "He was not a child. He was a young man. A young man that deserved far better than I could have given him here at Troy. He deserved love and a family, not blood and war and the sins of men."

Eudorus could see the pain in Achilles heart, "He did have love and family though, my lord. He had you and he had us. He had so much than you give him credit for at his young age."

Achilles couldn't take anymore of this conversation, "Enough! I am tired of this. Go and see if the pyre is ready for him…"

There was so much more that Eudorus wanted and needed to say than just this, but it was best not to tempt Achilles with how well he was taking all this now. He would leave in peace with a simple "Yes, my lord" he was gone.

Achilles brooded there for awhile over the body of his dead Patroclus, "Are you ready for this, Patroclus? I hope you enjoy your stay in Tartarus or the Elysian Fields or wherever it may be those damned gods have put you. Enjoy it for it will not be long till I have you back here."

He stalked off and out to where the pyre stood. He carried the body himself. No one else was allowed to touch it. This was his burden to carry and no one else's hands would dare sully Patroclus with their dirty hands. As the body was laid all gathered around to hear the final words, "This is the body of the greatest among men. This is the body of my flesh, my blood, and my sweat. Here lies the sin of Hector. Here lies Patroclus. Tomorrow will be the last sunrise Hector shall see for tomorrow is the day I drench his blood on his own land. Tomorrow is the day I show Hector what it means to be a Myrmidon, what it means to be a Greek! Tomorrow I will show Hector why it is men fear my name. He will regret the day he ever unsheathed his sword. Hector is mine!"

There was a loud cheer among the men but it was all hollow to Achilles. He held up his hands for silence and the hush fell among the men immediately. Eudorus approached cautiously with the lit torch. Achilles took it without a word. He had nothing else to say. This was it. The moment. He took a brief moment to collect himself before he threw it on Patroclus. His heart ached and cried. He wanted to fall to his knees and weep, but he couldn't. All eyes were on him and he knew he couldn't show them what was in his heart.

A heart they all thought he lacked….

He yearned to just fall to his knees, yell out to the gods, and beat senselessly at Patroclus' body till he awakened, but all he did was stand there and watch the flames engulf the body of his Patroclus. It was the hardest thing to watch. The still, unmoving, cold, emotionless body of a once spirited and blithe young Patroclus. This was now his living Hell…this was his punishment for all his sins. The gods saw fit to show him an escape to paradise and then take it away.

Agamemnon smiled, "That boy has just won this war for us."

He had won and he knew it. There was no way Achilles would not be fighting anymore. With his bruised ego and the need to placate his narcissism, Agamemnon would have Achilles back in this war. He would win this yet.

All Odysseus could do was look at the cruel enjoyment Agamemnon was getting from Achilles pain. He had to say something, so after a long pause he started to say, "Do you not think-"

"Don't speak it, Odysseus, I know you care for Achilles, but he needed this kick into the mud. The gods have done well and they have spoken. They want me to win this war," and with that being said he turned back around to go to his camp.

Odysseus began to follow to say, "Do you not mean 'for Greece'?"

Agamemnon stopped and smiled over his shoulder, "Ah yes, for Greece."

Back with Achilles

The people had left to their camps and Achilles was left at the pyre with Eudorus and Briseis standing near. When he finally made the move to leave, it was they who followed. Achilles stopped and said emptily, "Leave me."

Eudorus obeyed with a swift bow and walked off, but Briseis stayed. Achilles raised a lip and sneered at her, "Are you now deaf as well, Apollo's whore?"

Tears and sorrow filled in Briseis' eyes, "Achilles, please, let me come to you. Let me comfort you. I wish to help console you."

Bang! Achilles snapped. He was on her, growling in her face as they stood nose to nose, "Do not speak of consolation when it is I who have just gave the burial rights to the only person who could console me right now! Now go!" he raised his hand, but there was no need. Briseis had left crying.

Achilles began to sulk back to his tent once more. Crying…oh the idea…to truly cry and not just shed meaningless tears. What was it like to let all the grief out? Would it hurt? Would it be opening a vein he could not do? Or would it make it all go away?

He reached his tent, opened the flap, grabbed a bottle of wine, and began to lose himself in it. He would let it out. He would cry. He would grieve…

Before he knew the tears began to flow uncontrollably. He thought of Patroclus, of his potential, of how he had died, thought of those final angry words spoken between them. The pain and the grief all of hit him harder than any sword ever could. He had wronged him. Wronged the very person who had only done him right. The truth of it hurt and it choked him. In the quiet, empty and stillness of his solitude…Achilles wept.

To be continued