Chapter 3: Shiver My Timbers
"Looking for sunken treasure? That's your big plan, Commander?"
"I'll let that slide for now, Puff Adder. After all, you're new here-"
"Why do we even need to resort to this if we can afford to wield expensive military hardware?" Eric asked.
"Because it's fun!" Cobra Commander replied.
Eric's jaw nearly hit the floor.
"Fun? You do this because it's fun?"
He turned to the Commander's other lieutenants.
"Why haven't you fragged him already?" he asked.
"Mister Raymond, every one of us has considered that as a viable option when we were first made his lieutenants-" Destro began.
"Then why haven't you just gone and done it? You'd have a higher rate of success if your leader wasn't a bumbling manchild…"
The others mentally blocked out Eric's rant.
"We're securely anchored, Captain!"
"Very good, Mr. Clash. Your next task is to ready the mini-sub."
"Aye, Captain!"
Pizzazz turned to Stormer.
"So, you want to break out the SCUBA gear? Do a few practice dives with the boss and her entourage?"
Stormer vigorously nodded.
"Well, Puff Adder- as you are useless in combat, I have given you the greatest responsibility of all on this vessel!" Cobra Commander announced.
"What's that?" Eric replied.
"Tending bar!"
"Get your priorities straight, Commander. Right now, we're on the lam from GI Joe, the Coast Guard, the LAPD, Interpol, the Federales, and if we happen to be really unlucky, the Misfits."
"Which is why we need copious amounts of alcohol!"
Eric groaned.
"Now, the drink recipes are in a binder beneath the bar-"
"I can manage, Commander!"
"Good."
Eric smirked.
Well, at least today's going to-
"ATTENTION, MY LIEUTENANTS! THE BAR ON B-DECK IS OPEN! NOW SERVING MARTINIS, WHISKEY SOURS, COSMOS, DAIQUIRIS, AND PLANTER'S PUNCH- ALONG WITH ALL YOUR OTHER FAVORITE MIXED DRINKS! COME ON DOWN!" the Commander yelled into the intercom.
Damn it.