Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. This collection is mine, as are Jake and McCallister. Enjoy!
..:-X-:..
004 – Duck in Cover
"Today's drill is on evasive maneuvers." Cloud said, facing the new recruits.
There were roughly thirty of them: wide eyed greenhorns who had enlisted in Radiant Garden's Allied army. Because they were still in basic training, Cloud had been put in charge of grooming the new recruits, finding out what their specialties were, and sorting them into the right departments. For example, those good with weapons went to Leon's department, those skilled in hand-to-hand combat went to Tifa's department, the magically-inclined went to Merlin for combat training and Aerith for medical training, and Yuffie got the stealthy ones good for infiltration and the like, and Cid got the aeronauts and computer specialists.
He gestured to the obstacle course behind him. "The goal is to make it across this training field without getting hit. There are four sharpshooters from Commander Leonhart's department posted throughout the course, and their job is specifically to take you out."
A few of the recruits gulped.
"The shells are full of paint, but they'll still hurt like Hell, so don't get hit." He went on. "And once you're out, you're out; the paint is bright, so don't think you can hide it and cheat."
One of the recruits lifted a hand in question.
Cloud eyed him for a moment. "What."
"What does the last person standing get?" The recruit asked. "Is there some kind of reward for not getting hit?"
Cloud deadpanned, "The knowledge that in a battle simulation, you alone survived."
No wonder Private McCallister had sincerely opted out of handling the new recruits: these people were idiots.
"Any other questions?" Don't you dare.
"Hold up!" came a bellow from his far left.
One eye twitching, Cloud turned to see Jake Alms, resident annoyance and self declared ladies' man, marching toward him with a large duffle bag over his shoulder. Cloud inwardly groaned and looked back to the soldiers, hoping that maybe if he ignored him, Alms would go away. This was not the case.
"Jake Alms, reporting for duty." Alms gave a mock-salute.
"You're not even enlisted." Cloud said dryly. "I'm about to start a drill here."
"I know. I heard. You rounded up half of Leon's personal squad for paintball sniping and you forgot to invite me." Alms said, opening his bag to reveal his own custom paintball rifle.
Cloud pinched the skin between his eyes. "I didn't forget; it was completely intentional. Now please go away."
He didn't have time for Alms' nonsense. Didn't he have someone else to annoy? Leon was typically Jake's target to bother, or McCallister or Cid for that matter.
"Not acceptable." Jake stood, "I am the black panther of paintball." He said, dead serious. He looked from Cloud to the recruits, pointing two fingers at his own eyes before pointing them at the soldiers. "Where I go, I leave only paint-splattered bodies in my wake."
In seemingly one fluid motion, he tore off his jacket and pants to reveal a skin-tight, neck to boots, black outfit, fitted with black inlaid armor. He tugged on two belts of paint ammunition across his chest, fingerless gloves over his hands, and jammed a protective helmet over his head.
While Cloud—and most of the recruits—were gawking at this ridiculous display, Alms whipped out two paintball pistols, which he slid into the holsters at his sides, and lifted his main rifle over his head.
"Game on, bitches!" He said, slapping the visor down on his helmet.
Then he promptly darted into the obstacle course and disappeared into the camouflage.
For a long pause, Cloud just stared into the obstacle course. He wasn't sure if he should be pissed that Jake Alms had just elbowed his way into the drill and subsequently made a mockery of it, or if he should be impressed that after ten seconds, Cloud had absolutely no idea where the man had hidden himself.
Clearing his throat, Cloud finally faced the line of recruits again.
"On my mark." He raised a hand.
That got their attention again.
"Go." He dropped his hand.
The soldiers took off into the obstacle course.
At first, Cloud could detect some sign that they were strategically moving, taking cover, dashing here and there, covering their butts. Then the first barrage of paint-laced shots was launched from the hidden locations of the snipers, and all Hell broke loose.
Shots missed and shots hit. Splashes of bright yellow and red paint exploded on the obstacles set up on the field. They also burst across the bodies of the recruits, who yelped and then swore when they realized that they had been hit. They started to drop like flies, and any training that they'd had about stealth seemed to have gone out the window.
Well, it looked like Yuffie wasn't getting any soldiers from this particular clusterfuck.
Suddenly, instead of the normal 'phewt' noises of the paintball snipers, there were several large 'phlat's of a shotgun that splattered paint in large scattershots against the obstacles and some of the recruits. Alms.
"I am the black panther!"
Phewt.
"Ow! Hey! What was that for?"
"You're an annoying git." One of the snipers called out, having fired one of his shots at the hidden Jake Alms. "Go home."
Cloud spotted Alms climbing out of a tree—how did he get that far without Cloud noticing?—yellow paint having nailed him in the chest.
..:-X-:..
005 – Ready, Aim
"Only put your finger on the trigger when you intend to fire. Never keep your finger around the trigger if you're just holding the gun." Private McCallister instructed.
Standing with her feet planted and the weapon in her hands, Rinoa Heartilly carefully moved her index finger straight along the barrel of the gun. "Right, sorry."
The private picked up another of the numerous guns that she had laid out. "This is a .45 Caliber semi-automatic." She picked up the loaded clip and slid it home, pulling back the hammer and removing the safety.
Rinoa removed the magazine from the gun in her own hands and set the two items down, looking at the new one. "Okay…" She watched McCallister reverse what she had just done, setting the .45 and the clip back on the table in front of the shooting range.
The soldier made a gesture that invited Rinoa to try it. She swallowed and picked up the weapon and the clip, repeating the process that McCallister had taught her when dealing with hand guns. She had encountered guns and other weapons in her time evading Heartless, sure, and she had fired one or two on occasion. But those had been life or death situations, and, looking back, it had been insanely reckless to handle a gun like that when she had no idea how to use it.
Although, technically, the weapons had saved her life.
But now that she was back home, in Radiant Garden, in the military epicenter of the Alliance, where soldiers toted weaponry around like a common newspaper and everyone appeared to be war-savvy, she figured it was high time to actually learn how to handle a weapon. And who better to teach her than Squ—Leon's right hand soldier, Tabaeus McCallister?
"Don't hold the trigger." McCallister corrected.
Rinoa started slightly and removed her index finger from the trigger area once again. It was an involuntary motion. Seeing the trigger clear, McCallister reached over and deftly swatted her wrist so that the gun was pointed down and away.
"It's loaded now. Don't point it at anything that you don't intend to destroy." She explained. "Even unloaded, no waving it around."
Rinoa bobbed her head, keeping the barrel of the .45 carefully averted from either of their persons. They were the only two in this particular shooting range that afternoon, for which she was grateful. Because Radiant Garden, what used to be her warm, peaceful home world, had been transfigured into this war machine, she felt almost embarrassed that she hadn't had gun training already. Fortunately, Private McCallister didn't expend too much energy in judging people, so Rinoa didn't worry about her too much.
"It'll be louder than the others." McCallister said, tugging her protective ear coverings back over her head. "Try it out."
Rinoa mimicked her and moved into the stance that the private had told her, lifting the gun and aiming at the paper target hanging down the long lane. Lining the paper target up in her sights, she slid her finger around the trigger. She pulled it back.
BOOM.
The recoil shuddered through her arms and the thunder crashed through her ear coverings. The kick of the gun bucked in her hands and she staggered once.
"That's why you lean slightly forward. Balance your weight out." The private was saying, swinging one finger in a circle. "Try a few more times."
Clearing her throat to calm her nerves, Rinoa resumed her stance, bracing for impact this time, took aim, and fired. Again, the recoil ran up her body and the report sounded like a freight train collision in her ears, but she didn't stagger back from the force of it this time.
Then again, the paper target was completely untouched on the far wall.
With a sigh, Rinoa disarmed the gun and set it down before tugging off her ear covers and letting them hang around her neck. The white, solid, unpunctured paper mocked her.
"Maybe I'll try my hand at shurikens instead." She said, disheartened.
"Nobody is a straight shot their first time." McCallister said, "But I think we're done for today."
Rinoa rubbed her ear with a grimace. The thundering reports of the past two hours of shooting had surely done permanent damage, despite the protective noise-cancelling headphones.
"I guess." She sighed.
McCallister paused, looking at her. "You'll get better. I can almost promise that. Shooting is…like sex."
Rinoa looked at her sharply, but the private just shrugged.
"Everybody is terrible the first time, but with practice, you'll start nailing 'em."
Rinoa gawked.
McCallister pointed a thumb toward the paper target. "The targets, I mean." She waved a hand. "Don't be gross."
"YOU're the one who made the metaphor—"
"Technically it's a simile."
Rinoa snorted at her before pausing. "So…Will I ever learn the 'kill shot'?" She mimicked with her hand. "You know, one hand, sideways, gangsta-style?"
McCallister deadpanned.
"Ooh, what about that thing from that movie…Where they bend the path of the bullets?"
"…"
"I know, it's not real…But that would be AWESOME."
"Seriously, I'm trying to teach you gun safety and you want to start assassinating?"
Rinoa lifted her shoulders as they left the shooting range. "If it works for you…"
"I'm a weapons specialist, not an assassin. And it's taken me years—"
"I know, I know. Hey, how about next week you teach me how to throw a grenade?"
"…Let's stick with bullets for now…Maybe just dart guns, actually…"
..:-X-:..
006 – In a Heartbeat
Tifa had had her suspicions, and the tests didn't leave much room for doubt, but just hearing it directly from the doctor's mouth seemed to drill it home and make it real.
"Congratulations." Dr. Polly Kim smiled as she closed the file of test results. "It looks like you are approximately six weeks along."
Tifa exhaled in a rush, where she was sitting uncomfortably on the exam table, twisting her fingers. Standing beside her, Leon looked like a deer in the headlights. Dr. Kim didn't look surprised at their dumbfoundedness; she had probably experienced the gamut of reactions from couples being told that they were going to be parents.
"How have you been feeling?" Dr. Kim asked.
Tifa blinked, "Um…f-fine." She rubbed her neck.
"No aches or pains? Nausea or migraines?" Dr. Kim went on.
Tifa shook her head. "No, uh…not any more than usual." She looked sharply at the woman. "Why? How should I be feeling?"
Dr. Kim smiled gently. "All of your tests look great, and you sound like you're in perfect health." She set the file down. "All right. Now, if you'll lie back, we can take an ultrasound and you can see your baby."
Tifa inhaled and Leon straightened visibly.
"S-see?" He blurted. "But…at just six—"
"—shouldn't the baby look like a…peanut or something?" Tifa asked.
Dr. Kim chuckled. "Sometimes there is a detectable heartbeat at six weeks." She tilted her head, "But, yes, he or she will probably look like a peanut."
As the doctor started fiddling with the ultrasound machine, Tifa reclined back on the table, looking uneasily to Leon. He pulled up a chair and sat next to her so that he was at her eye level. The night that Tifa told him, they had spent hours talking about this whole situation. Neither of them had been planning on having kids so soon.
"Lift your shirt a little. This might be cold." Dr. Kim said, opening a tube of contact gel for the machine.
Tifa did so without thinking. Were they ready to be parents? Neither she nor Leon had had time to get a full night's sleep in the past month. How were they supposed to take care of a baby twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week? They were both high ranking officers in the Alliance, running dual departments, operating dangerous missions, and carried a lot of weight in the Alliance and Restoration Committee.
Dr. Kim squirted a line of the gel on Tifa's stomach and she started slightly, being too wrapped up in her thoughts to realize it was coming. Leon must have noticed her jump, because he reached over and nudged her elbow with his thumb. She looked over at him. The bewilderment must have been obvious on her face, because he offered her a wink and a small reassuring smile.
Well, sure, he could be as calm about this as possible. There wasn't a human being growing inside of him!
Dr. Kim pressed the wand of the machine into the gel on Tifa's stomach, tilting it and moving it around. The monitor on the machine flipped on and displayed a mess of gray, black, and what looked like static. Tifa stared at it frantically. Was she supposed to be seeing something? She couldn't see anything in that mess!
"There we are." The doctor said, holding the wand against Tifa's stomach with one hand and gesturing to the monitor with the other. "See that bit right there?"
Tifa was tempted to sit up and squint at the screen, but she restrained herself. She could…sort of see what Dr. Kim was indicating…if she squinted one eye and didn't focus too hard on it…
"That's your baby." The doctor chirped.
Tifa's heart skipped, and then it stopped completely when Dr. Kim did something to the machine and a new sound came out of the speakers. A tiny heart beat.
Leon's hand had seized hers, and if Tifa could have torn her eyes away from the monitor to look at him, she was sure his face would have looked how she felt inside.
"That's our little peanut." He murmured.
Suddenly, all of that anxiety and doubt about whether they could do this melted away from the warmth that burst into existence in her chest. She smiled and stared at that little blob on the staticked screen. A new fear bubbled up inside her.
"We're going to have to childproof our new house." She involuntarily said.
Dr. Kim chuckled at that, pushing her swiveling chair to the side to pick up her clipboard. "I have a few articles and books that I generally recommend for first-time parents to read, if you're interested." She explained. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions and concerns. Most of the changes that your body will be experiencing will be normal, but I firmly believe in the policy of 'there is no stupid question'."
"Thank you." Leon stated, since Tifa was still too hypnotized by the monitor to do so.
The doctor bobbed her head and continued. "If you haven't already, don't be alarmed if you start having mood swings, morning sickness, going to the bathroom frequently, or nausea. These are the most common symptoms that women experience, but don't panic if you don't. Consider yourself blessed." She smiled.
Tifa snapped back to herself as Dr. Kim was putting away the ultrasound equipment. She was handed tissues to wipe the gel from her stomach, and she did so while Leon perused the recommended list that Dr. Kim had handed him.
"So." Tifa tugged her shirt back down. "How are we going to break this to the others?"
Leon carefully folded the list and looked at her playfully. "Oh, I don't know about that. Something good. Maybe you could just walk in and refuse alcohol. That'll get their attention."
Tifa snorted and smacked his arm. "Oh, I've got a better one. Guaranteed to get their attention and gross them out at the same time…I've been craving ice cream and pickles all day."
..:-X-:..
Preview for next week: "You love sunny days like this, so why are you shut up in this old Jeep?"