Author: Djibriel

{oOo}

On the day that SailorFulgrim showed up, Nefer took one look at the dramatic entrance. Then he covered his face with his hands and whimpered. "It's never going to end, is it? They're multiplying." He choked back a sob of incoherent rage and grief and seriously contemplated suicide. Then he manned up and swallowed his pride to go to one of his informants.

"I need to buy a rocket launcher." He said firmly. "And I need it now."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE SAILOR FULGRIM SAD?" hollered his informant, all but frothing on the mouth, "ADMIT YOU'RE DOUBLE-DATING HER AND SAILOR HORUS!"

Nefer stared at him, aghast. Then the dam broke. "...Goddamnit I AM NOT DATING ANYONE!" he snapped, "LEAST OF ALL THOSE TWO PERVERTS."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT SAILOR FULGRIM?" the informant nearly chocked, "She's a beautiful fragile flower that had been deeply wounded and needs to be nurtured by a sensitive strong man AND SHE HATES ALL PERVERTS THEREFORE SHE CANNOT BE ONE! YOU JUST WANT TO KEEP HER TO YOURSELF YOU AWFUL MAN!"

Nefer wanted to scream at the stupidity of mankind. He wanted to weep. He wanted to go back home, home to lovely Egypt, or visit his family in Canada. He didn't want this. This was...

after the happenings of the past two days, Nefer's patience, his selfcontrol, had been stretched to the very frayed edges.

"I'm not paid enough to put up with this shit." Nefer said, trembling with rage. "I get kidnapped on an every day basis by pervert youma, the goddamn dark mistress is stalking me. And now this?"

He slammed his fist down on the table, startling the informant.

"IT CANNOT STAND."

He grabbed the informant by the collar, eyes ablaze with the seeds of madness. "Now give me the goddamn rocket launcher before I use that blackmail I had on you. That incident when you were with that transvestite? You remember, from New Orleans?Yes. I still have the negatives." His smile was as sharp as the bared fangs of a wild dog.

"Give. Me. The. Goddamn. Weapon. NOW."

"...Fine," the informant sighed. "BUT YOU'D BETTER NOT BADMOUTH SAILOR FULGRIM! OR HURT HER!"

"I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS SHIT." Nefer snarled shaking the informant in his rage. "ALL I WANT TO DO IS LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO MOVE TO CANADA!"

"How about I buy you the tickets instead of the rocket launcher?" the informant perked up instantly.

"I'd take them if I wasn't on goddamn contract to the television station." Nefer whimpered, dropping the informant as his shoulders slumped. "I need a raise, and a lot of whiskey."

"I don't understand you," the informant shook his head. "You've got two beautiful women and you complain."

Apparently, the fact that Nefer was not dating had not registered. At all.

Nefer covered his face and whimpered.

"I want to be a monk." he said, pushed beyond his limits. "In the icy mountains of Canada."

"I don't think they've got monks in the mountains there," the informant replied. "I'd suggest Tibet, but... Well, anyway, rocket launcher?"

"Yes. Now." Nefer corrected him."And I like Canada. It has no yetis."

"Well, anyway, come back in a week? Oh and if you have any photos of Sailor Fulgrim..."

Nefer stared at him in horror and disbelief, as he whispered, "... I hate all mankind."

{oOo}

It was a glorious night, just the right temperature. Cool enough to sleep comfortably in pajamas without the need of a blanket.

The moon floated overhead serenely. However, in one apartment, the mood was anything but serene.

Nefer stared aghast at the two invaders, still holding a cup of cold water in his hand.

"What..." he said faintly. "Are you doing here? In my home?"

"We found your residence in the... what was it again?" Horus' brow furrowed. "Yellow Pages? We need your assistance."

"No." Nefer said immediately. "I'm not helping you with anything."

"But.." Horus tried to get a word in. Nefer carefully put down his glass, Then, ire up, he charged into the breach, metaphorically speaking. "I'm a CIVILIAN, GODDAMNIT. That means I HAVE. NO. MILITARY. SKILLS."

"But you can forge papers." Horus said smoothly.

Nefer looked at him in shock. Then dawning horror. "... Oh no. I am not committing a crime just because you need help sneaking your sibling in as an illegal immigrant."

"You owe me your life." Horus reminded him.

"You owe me my LIFE, my SANITY, and my MEDICATION." Nefer shot back. "I just got back from the therapist I had to take because of you. You and... Never mind. We shall not speak of it." he shuddered as the memories played back.

Sailor Fulgrim, in civilian form, smiled dreamily at Nefer and said, "You hate perverts. I like you."

Then she resumed polishing her sword.

"Your brother." Nefer hissed. "Is a filthy, filthy pervert."

Perhaps he was biased. Perhaps he was desperate. But he still hadn't forgotten that incident with the youma who'd decided to turn all hotels into love hotels.

Most notably, he hadn't forgotten that he'd been helpless and naked and SailorHorus had very nearly.. Oh no. His mind was not going there. He groped for his pills. "A horrible pervert. I am not helping him or you."

"You may regret that," Horus informed him, pinning him against the wall, enjoying the way his eyes widened and his face went pale. Horus knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't do it. But there was just something so satisfying about having him helpless like this...

"...Why can't you just pick someone else to help?" Nefer choked out miserably.

"Because I know you." Horus pointed out mildly.

"... I'd scream rape but no one would believe me." Nefer said bitterly, remembering the latest newspapers.

"Horus is not a horrible pervert," Fulgrim said, reimerging from wherever his mind had been. The smile was still there, still dreamy and far away. "I've seen horrible perverts. I can tell you about them. Do you want me to?"

She inspected the sword.

"... No." Nefer shuddered from atavistic fear.

"I think if anyone is worse than your brother I should move to Canada faster."

Fulgrim looked at Nefer. "Are those pills drugs? You shouldn't take them. They'll come for you, if you do. They come for everyone. Or maybe you should. Then I can kill them."

Nefer shuddered. "They prevent me from screaming and running away."

"You should try killing," Fulgrim replied. "It's much safer. They can't get you, if you kill them."

Nefer contemplated him with the same look another man might give a deadly cobra. An insane cobra. "...and that would get me thrown in jail. They have perverts in jail, you know."

"I think you're trying to manipulate me," Fulgrim said, inspecting his reflection in the sword. "And I shouldn't listen to you. I shouldn't listen to people who are trying to tell me to do bad things."

Nefer covered his face and caved in, as he had no real choices anyway.

"The world is ending and the only people we can rely on are all nutcases in short skirts." He shuddered. "Fine. I'll do your goddamn paperwork. But get OUT of my bedroom!"

{oOo}

The next day, several newspapers printed pictures of the two Sailor Senshi leaving Nefer's apartment.

And Nefer wept.

"I'm not paid enough for this shit."

{oOo}

AN: ...And Nefer too it seems. xD