"You okay Darry?" I asked as we got to the back porch. It was a somewhat chilly night but the cool breeze felt good. I was getting a little nervous when it was just us two, it hadn't been just us in two years and it was be something I needed to get used to.
"Yeah, just wanted to talk," he replied as he sat down. I sat down next to him. I was happy that he brought me out here to talk. We normally would come here or out in the backyard to sit and talk on nice nights. I glanced up at the sky and it was as clear as the day I left.
"How've you been?" I asked while thinking, 'Me? Not good, I hated leaving and I wanted to come back since the day I got to Austin.' It was true, I never wanted to leave but my parents had basically forced me to.
"Okay, just it's kinda hard raising two boys and the rest of the gang acts like they live here too," Darry told me. I glanced up at him and he shook his head lightly. I wasn't sure if it was to get a thought out of his mind or what.
"I'm sorry," I softly told him. I was truly sorry that he lost his parents and for leaving like I did.
"For?" He asked and I saw the confused look on his face. I knew he was still hurting that he lost his parents then lost me. Hell I hurt still knowing I had left him like I did.
"Everything, your parents, leaving like I did," I replied with a sigh. It killed me when I left like I did, but my parents said it would be better if I went to college than it would be to settle down or stay in Tulsa.
"It's okay Char, I understand, your mom told me that she figured it would be better if you left and lived the life you wanted than it would be for you to stick around town and settle down with low life scum," he told me and my eyes went huge. 'That bitch,' I thought. God she had no right telling him that.
"My mother said that?" I asked shocked. I couldn't believe it at first, but then it sunk in and I wanted to go and find her and yell at her but decided against it. That could happen some other day: right then was the time for Darry and I to catch up. We were alone and the only interruptions we might get would be from someone in the gang.
"Yeah, your father told me not to go and find you, that I was a reason you left." I saw a sad look in his eyes. I was upset that my dad would say something like that… But they didn't like him so why would they tell the truth? I wanted to cry, scream and everything like that right then. My heart literally sank when he told me my dad lied.
"Dar, that wasn't true, I wanted to stay but my parents insisted that I go to Austin to go to college… I threw a fit but they shipped me off anyways, I wanted to stay here and be with you more then anything," I told him and a smile formed on his face.
"Really?" He asked and I heard the happiness in his voice. I nodded then he continued, "I wanted to go and find you but they didn't tell me where you were or anything." I wanted to lean over and hug him, but I was scared that he'd just walk away. I wasn't sure about a lot of things and right then I wasn't sure if Darry still had feelings for me or he just brought me outside as friends to talk.
"I sent you letters, did you ever get them?" When he shook his head no, I added, "My uncle must have threw them away then." That ticked me off, those were personal letters and my uncle had no right to stop them from being sent.
"Probably," he replied with a sigh. I knew there was something bothering him, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to know or not. Sometimes it was better to not ask things, but I knew he was hurting.
"What are you thinking about?" I softly asked. For some reason his eyes got softer and he had a more worried look in them. I felt bad that he lost his parents, but at least his brothers weren't taken away from him.
"Things… Why your parents and uncle would do that, how messy the kitchen will be when Soda's done making the cake, what life would be like if you stayed here," he told me and I smiled. I remembered when Soda tried making a green cake once. Man the kitchen was a mess and their mom was mad as heck at him.
"The first week I was gone, I cried and never left the room," I admitted; for some reason, I had to say that. I felt like shit when I left, but being back in town might be like heaven for me. I felt my heart flutter a little when I felt him put his hand on my leg like before.
"Yeah?" he asked me. I glanced up and he smiled. I wondered how his family took my leaving. I remembered one time his mom saying 'one day you and Darry will get married and make me happy, since then you will be my daughter.' I always treated her and thought of her as a mom, since my mom never really paid attention to me, unless it was about Darry then she'd argue.
"I remember sitting in the back of your dad's truck down by the river just watching the stars," I told him with a smile. That was a good, fun night. Even though we got into a lot of trouble for being out late when his dad needed the truck back for the morning since he had to work.
"That was a fun night, we got into so much trouble when we got to my house and your parents were there," he chuckled as he said that. His dad was pissed and so was mine. My dad swore up and down that if we did anything he'd either kill Darry or force us to get married if I ever got knocked up.
"Yeah, that wasn't the fun part," I told him with a smile as I looked at him. He smiled. It was true: the fun part was just laying in his arms, making out and we never went further then that. But it was nice just to lay there next to him and just be out of the house.
"True, the worse part of the night was getting yelled at by both sets of parents," he replied and I chuckled. "What?" he asked. I knew that if we could re-do that night he would in a heart beat, well, I knew I would in a heat beat.
"Just, my parents don't know I'm back in town, they weren't expecting me here so soon," I told him, "and truthfully I don't want them to know anytime soon either." It was true I really didn't want them finding out I came home sooner then I told them. But eventually they'd find out.
"Really, I'd hate to be there when they do find out that you're home and didn't go to college for as long as you're supposed to be there for," he told me with a smile. We had got into a lot of trouble with my parents. Staying out past curfew, not letting them know if we'd be out late. But, they knew I was in love so I wasn't sure what the big problem they had was.
"It's not that, they don't know the real reason I came home," I told him with a grin and he just shook his head. It suddenly got silent. It was an awkward silence. Like we both had something to say but didn't know how to get the words out.
"Char?" he asked and I glanced at him. I loved how he said my name. It was smooth as silk.
"Yeah Dar?" I replied, hoping he wouldn't be breaking my heart by telling me he had another girl in his life.
"Just wondering but, why didn't you come here to say goodbye?" He softly asked and my heart sunk. I had wanted to come over and say goodbye to him before I left.
"My parents wouldn't let me," I softly admitted with tears in my eyes. I hated my parents for not letting me come over and say good bye to the guy I loved. I hoped he'd understand that my parents didn't want me to be with a guy that they didn't approve of. For some damn reason to them Darry wasn't good enough for me. What the hell did they want me to do, date a soc?
"Oh," was all he said I glanced over at him and smiled a little. I saw the pain in his eyes and it broke my heart. I felt so bad that I didn't get to come over and say goodbye.
"Sorry about that, I never liked my parents after they shipped me away to an uncle I never knew," I softly told him and he smiled a little. We sat there in silence for a while just looking up at the stars.
"This brings back a lot of good memories," he said softly. I nodded in agreement. I loved to sit there and just be with him.
"A whole lot of good ones," I replied with a smile. We used to sit or lay in the backyard talking and looking at the stars. I was with him when I saw my first shooting star, the only reason is because my parents barely let me sit in the back yard. They always thought I'd get jumped or kidnapped or something. I looked over at him and saw he was smiling. "You okay?" I asked him.
"Yeah, just happy," he replied. I smiled back, god it felt so good just to sit and enjoy looking up at the stars. The feelings I once had for him were coming back, not full force but slowly. I sighed a happy sigh. We sat there in silence until the back door opened.
"Want me to start supper since you had to go and finish shopping for it?" Soda asked with a sigh.
"Yeah, the burger's in the fridge," Darry replied.
"You wanna stay Char?" Soda questioned
"Yeah, thanks Soda," I replied and he nodded and went back inside, "So, what all do you wanna talk about Dar?"
"How have you been in Texas, well, besides missing me?" He asked and I smiled.
"Not good, my uncle was a drunk," I told him with a sigh not happy about the fact that Uncle Scott was a rude jerk to me. I honestly wanted to just run away from there. It was hell on earth.
"I'm sorry to hear that Char," he softly told me and I sighed a little. "What's bothering you?" He just had to ask. He was always the one who could tell that something was bothering or if I was thinking of something weird. He had his own way of knowing something was going on in my head.
"Just the fact that I missed it here like crazy, missed you more then anything. The only way I could leave was dropping out of college, so I did, but after something was messed up in my car I didn't have the money to pay for the repairs. So I got a job and worked it off, it took me a while since half the money I got had to go to bills and other things for the house," I admitted. My uncle was a rude asshole who for some reason didn't want me coming home. I sat there and just looked at the stars. Truth was I was nervous to be around Darry. Even though it's been two years, it felt like I had been gone for ten.
My heart was beating like crazy right then and there. I was praying he couldn't hear it beating as fast and hard as it was. I didn't want to admit that I still loved him. I wasn't sure if he felt the same way or not, and truthfully, I was scared he didn't. People change, even in two years. I knew I had a little: my hair was lighter and I'd grown a few inches, but that didn't mean I wasn't the same person as I once was.
"Do you still play the guitar?" Darry asked, startling me so I jumped a little. "Sorry," he added.
"It's fine… I was just thinking and yeah, I still do play the guitar," I replied.
"That's cool," he replied, I was thinking 'please don't ask what I was thinking about', "You mentioned a little bit ago that your parents don't know the real reason you came home, what's the real reason?"
He just had to ask that. What could I tell him? I wasn't about to blurt out that the real reason I came home was to be with him. Hell I still didn't know if he had a girl or not. I sighed as I thought about how I was going to put this in words that wouldn't make it obvious I still loved him. I glanced around and before I got to answer we heard:
"Supper," from Soda. I sighed and we both got up, I was thinking 'thank you Soda.' He called at the perfect time. I needed to think of how to tell him that he was the reason I came back.