Author: Bloody Mary
{oOo}
Angron did not mind having a family. It was generally quite a pleasant experience, quite unlike his upbringing in the previous life. However, they had their short-comings.
"But Princess," Motherly Unit said in that mournful tone she always adopted when Angron did something manly, "you'll look like... a barbarian like this! Your friend, what was her name? She has such pretty long hair."
"BECAUSE SHE'S AFRAID PEOPLE WILL THINK SHE'S A MAN, BECAUSE HER BOOBS ARE SMALL," Angron replied at his usual volume.
{oOo}
Fulgrim stared at Ferrus Manus. It was quite creepy, but not because he was smiling. He wasn't. The dreamy smile was not there, instead replaced by complete blankness. Then, slowly the smile returned. Ferrus Manus took a step back, but Fulgrim was too quick. A moment later he was being embraced and listening to a rather disjointed monologue.
"You're finally here. I'm so glad. I missed you. You're not going away now. Ever. If you try, I'll kill you. And everybody who tries to take you away."
Fulgrim looked up, smiling serenely. "So, you just have to like me and only me. Then everybody will be happy and safe."
Fulgrim paused for a moment then added. "You were very friendly with Lorgar before. I saw you talking. Do you still like him?"
Ferrus Manus felt the perverse urge to scream. He suppressed it in a manly way, then decided to take revenge on his whole reason for being here. "No." He said, face as still as before. "But I do like Horus."
"Oh. You do?" Fulgrim asked, cocking his head to the side. "I suppose I will have to kill him then."
"You do that, but first we need to find a new apartment." Ferrus pointed out, mildly. Okay. Fulgrim wanted to be his and only his? He could work with it.
He blinked as if trying to remember something. "There's this nice man. I'm sure he won't like you, because he doesn't like any of us. So we can live with him."
"I think Lorgar already likes him and is living with him. The Twins said so." Ferrus pointed out, mildly, eyes filled with amusement. It would do no good to let them fight. After all, it would only eliminate another source of entertainment.
"Oh," Fulgrim paused. "Well. I can let Horus live for now and just tell him that I'll kill him once we find an appartament. That should be fine."
"That... would be nice. Why is there pornography of you on the internet?" Ferrus asked, genuinely puzzled.
Fulgrim's smile was still there, though there was something in his eyes that said "insane cobra". "Oh. That's because I hadn't killed all the perverts. Those deamons keep showing up all the time. You'll have to help me kill them and then we can kill the perverts. And the drug dealers, and the drug addicts... And all pop stars."
"...I love you." And strangely enough, Ferrus means it.
Fulgrim smiled and cuddled up closer. "See? We'll be very happy together. I really don't understand why it took you so long to grasp it."
".. You were getting laid with Slaaneshi daemons, that's why."Ferrus said sulkily.
"And you were hanging out with Lorgar," Fulgrim replied. "It wasn't very nice of you to leave me like that."
He blinked. "But I forgive you. I'll just kill Lorgar, and you won't be tempted again."
"I was jealous." Ferrus said mildly."Besides, you listened to him too."
Then he patted Fulgrim's arm. "Now, let's go steal Lorgar's cookies. And I mean that literally. That man who doesn't like us bakes them for him."
Fulgrim seemed to consider the idea, in so far as he considered anything that did not involve killing at this time. "All right," he said after a moment.
Ferrus hugged him. Yes, Magnus was right, this was all going according to plan.
{oOo}