Author: Djibriel/Bloody Mary Collab
{oOo}
There was a long moment as Nefer took in the sight of the two giant males, as his brain began to scream in horror, leaving him holding the door in shock. "Wha?"
There was Fulgrim, practically draped over the other man like a drunk girl at a bar, clinging to her boyfriend. Then there was the other man, as stone-faced as Horus. But, as it turned out, with more than Horus' amount of tact. "May we come in and take your cookies?"
Nefer had a horrible moment of utter terror wherein he wondered what cookies were meant, then he remembered he'd been baking. Oh.
"You may only come in if you give me your word there will be no fighting or murdering in my apartment." He said, obstinately, holding his ground.
Very much like a pomeranian facing a pitbull and a hunting hound.
Ferrus seemed to give this due consideration. "You have my word." he said politely, and Nefer reluctantly let him come in, rushing to the oven to take out the chocolate chips.
Fulgrim was giving Lorgar the Evil Eye. Lorgar looked like a trapped rat. And Ferrus?
Ferrus was taking cookies, eating them and said mildly. "These are very good. I see you made them yourself?"
Nefer's hands tightened on the dishtowel. "Yes, I did. May I ask why you are here?"
Ferrus seemed to give this due consideration. "We are getting a new apartment."
Nefer didn't seem to see the point.
Ferrus clarified. "We will be right next door to you."
Nefer fought the urge to scream.
"No fighting in either of our apartments?" He said, standing his ground again, bravely and futilely, he knew.
Fortunately Ferrus was less of a dick than could be expected. "Of course. In exchange, you will cook for us."
Nefer suppressed the urge to scream. "Only if you contribute to buying the groceries."
"Deal." Ferrus said, content. Then he petted Fulgrim's arm gently, fondly. "Shouldn't you learn how to cook, Fulgrim? We'll be stuck here a long while, right?"
Fulgrim turned his attention away from Lorgar and considered Ferrus Manus' questions.
Lorgar breathed slightly easier as Fulgrim's attention was turned away from him. Please, gods, let him survive this?
"I can learn to cook, if you want me to," he said. "I can learn anything you want. But... You don't like him, do you?" he eyed Nefer. "And you don't like Ferrus Manus. Because if you did I'd have to kill you. And I don't want to. So, you'd better not like each other. In fact, you won't be talking to Ferrus Manus anymore. Just with me. That way I'll be sure."
The serene smile never left his face and he cuddled up to Ferrus Manus, acting as if he said something completely normal.
"No I don't like him." Nefer said fervently. "I don't like any of you."
"And," Nefer added. "The sooner you leave my room, the sooner I can curl up in my closet to cry in terror."
{oOo}