'I feel so bad,' Marley mumbles, head in her hands. The three of them are spending Black Friday together, hanging out at a local park.

'Hey, it's not your fault,' Jake tells her, seated next to her, hand on her shoulder.

'Yes, it is. If I'd just eaten, I never would have passed out. We would've won Sectionals.' Ryder thinks he hears a sob.

Jake wraps an arm around her protectively. 'No, don't put this on yourself. If anyone's to blame, it's Kitty. She's the one that talked you into this. She's the reason you have this eating disorder. None of this is your fault. Okay?'

Marley looks up, apprehensive, searching Jake's eyes. 'Really?'

'Yes, Marle,' he tells her, hand cupping her cheek. 'You are amazing. Never forget that.' Marley buries her face in Jake's shoulder.

Ryder can't help but feel that he's intruding on a private moment. He's never seen Jake be so gentle and caring before. He can't help but wish that someone would do that for him, treat him like that. Which is ridiculous, as a guy he's the one that should be acting like that. Protective, caring, reassuring. So why did he want to be on the receiving end? More to the point, part of him feels like it's Jake he wants to experience that with.

The thought disturbs him. He's straight, how could the idea even cross his mind? But he can't help but wonder if maybe he actually likes Jake. It seems ridiculous, but the thought is definitely there. He thinks it through. He loves hanging out with Jake, they get on so well. He can admit that Jake is good looking, and there was definitely something about the physicality of watching him dance. And now, this latest insight. All these things, coupled together, it definitely seems like something.

Ryder feels himself being jostled, looking up to see Jake standing over him. 'We're gonna go get lunch. You coming?' Ryder gets to his feet, pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind. He'll deal with them later.

Xxx

Ryder leans against a locker, waiting for Jake, who's foraging through his own. 'I can't believe glee club's pretty much over,' he tells Jake, watching as he throws books back in. 'I've only been part of it for a couple of weeks.'

'Yea it totally sucks,' Jake agrees, shutting his locker. 'I actually enjoyed being part of a group.'

Ryder shoves him lightly. 'You? But you're like a lone wolf.'

'Yea, guess not anymore. Actually, I was thinking about joining a new club.' Ryder gestures for him to continue. 'I saw a sign-up sheet for basketball. Was thinking about trying out.'

'That would be cool,' Ryder agrees, as they reach their classroom. 'We should try out together.'

Jake looks at him curiously. 'Dude, you're already part of the football team. Why do you need another group?'

Ryder thinks for a moment, tries to find an excuse. The reality is that he doesn't have a reason, not one to tell Jake anyway. He just wants to spend more time with Jake. Because he's starting to think that he might be crushing on him. He's been thinking about it a lot. And it kinda weirds him out still, but he can't block the thought from his mind. Can't force himself to get over his feelings.

Before Ryder can reply, the teacher begins speaking, starting the lesson. Jake glances over at him, sharing a secret joke at her expense. But as Jake turns back, Ryder doesn't, continuing to watch him. He shouldn't, he knows he shouldn't, and usually he manages not to, but he really can't help himself. He notices the way Jake's brow furrows in concentration, his lip catches between his teeth. It's an innocent gesture, just Jake trying to focus, but it makes Ryder's mind race. Makes him think about kissing Jake, which really should disturb him more than it does. Makes him wonder what those lips would feel like pressed up against his.

Suddenly, Jake's turning back to him, catches him staring and Ryder feels himself flush red. 'Dude,' Jake calls, eyes darting towards the teacher, who Ryder finally realises is calling on him.

'For the third time, Ryder,' she shrills, 'will you please read from the top of page 269.' It's mean, it's so mean, that she's making him do this. She knows that he struggles with reading, she'd agreed not to make him read aloud. And yet here he was, battling through each word, some kind of cruel punishment for getting distracted by his best friend.

His best friend, who was sitting there watching him, silently encouraging him, whispering the occasional word when he got too stuck. His best friend who hadn't freaked out about his admiring. His best friend who was always there for him. As he finished the passage, he sent a grateful smile to Jake, who sent a thumbs up in return before pointing forwards, a silent reminder to pay attention.

Xxx

Ryder sits on his bed, legs pulled up under him, ring binder on his lap. Jake is slouched down on his desk chair. They've been studying together for over an hour.

'This is useless,' Ryder announces eventually, throwing his notes to the side.

Jake looks up from the desk, where his notes are sitting. 'What's going on?' he asks, concern evident in his voice.

'It's just so hard,' Ryder explains. 'It takes so much effort just to read over everything. And I mean, I know I'm making progress, but still. It really sucks.'

'Yea,' Jake agrees, his tone subdued. He falls into silence, and Ryder wonders if he's lost in thought. Eventually he speaks up. 'Y'know, I've been thinking. When you told me about this, it was a pretty big deal. You were putting a lot on the line.'

Ryder nods his agreement. 'I've never had a bigger secret.' Well, maybe now he did. 'I was so convinced I was stupid, that I was worthless. Seriously, dude, I owe you so much for what you did.'

'No, I was just doing what any friend would do,' Jake explains. 'But anyway, I've been thinking. What I told you, it was a bit of a nothing. So I feel like I need to fix it, tell you what my real kryptonite is. Now that I've admitted it to myself.'

'You don't have to do that.'

'No, I want to,' Jake explains. 'See, the thing is, I – I'm bisexual.' Ryder feels his heart rate pick up. 'I've kinda known for ages, but I didn't want it to be true. I tried to block it out, force it away. That's why I dated so many girls. Try to screw the gay out of me.'

Ryder's hooked into the story. Wants to know more. 'Well, what changed?' he asks.

Jake thinks for a moment. 'I dunno. I think it might be getting to know Blaine. Before him, I hadn't actually met a gay person. I was scared about who I might become. But Blaine's a pretty cool guy. So, I dunno, I guess I've accepted the idea that I could end up falling for a guy.'

Ryder nods in response, tries to think of what he should say. But before he can say anything, his mom's calling them down for dinner. As he climbs off the bed, Jake grabs him by the arm.

'Look, I know this is a bit of a shock. I'll get it if you don't want to be friends anymore.' Jake's trying to sound brave, but Ryder can see the uncertainty in his eyes.

'Are you serious?' he asks. 'Is that the reason you told me? Of course I'll still be friends with you. I'm not that much of a jerk.' He wraps an arm roughly around Jake's neck, trying not to cross any boundaries, and drags him out the door.

All through dinner, Ryder's distracted by Jake's news. He's trying desperately not to get his hopes up. Okay, sure, Jake being bi greatly improves Ryder's chances compared to him being straight. But that doesn't mean he's interested in Ryder. Besides, he has something going on with Marley. And anyway, has Ryder even accepted that he has a crush on Jake?

He has to admit that he definitely has.

'Ryder.' Jake's calling to him, he really needs to stop zoning out. 'Come on, we've got to go. Otherwise we're gonna be late for this glee club meeting.'

They hurry towards the door, eager to see what it'll be like to meet outdoors.

'Don't forget your coat, Ryder,' his mother calls after him. 'It's just started to snow.'