Journal number #23 since I moved home;
Well journal this is the hardest journal I have to write, Dallas Allen Winston has gone to heaven with his mom. I know, it's the worse thing that could happen. But i understand how he feels, he couldn't live with out johnny and honestly I'm not sure if I can live with out him.
The truth is, I love Dallas, that's more then a brother. I honestly left Tulsa that day because I couldn't look Darry or Dallas in the eyes. Yeah, I know I'm older then Dallas but he's a caring guy, I mean was a caring guy.
Gosh I can't stop crying, Darry wanted to hang out today but I faked a cold and told him I didn't feel good. The truth is my mind is racing with many, many thoughts and to be honest, I have no idea what to do right now.
Two-Bit told me something last night and I found out the truth, Two-Bit told me that Dallas did love me, and honestly, after hearing it from Dallas and Two-Bit, I know it's true. Just, why couldn't of it been a different way to find out the truth? Maybe things would have been better? I don't know anymore, I wish I never left in the first place, then maybe things would be better between Dallas and I. I know that's why he's been harsh to me, I left him.
Why, why did this all have to happen like this? I mean Dallas did have his bad days, but who doesn't?
Shit, that's the damn door, I don't want to deal with anyone, I just want to get clothes and go soak in the tub, well I'll write more. Later.