Scouring the earth for that last, single shred of hope.
Searching through every corner and in every person.
We know, deep down, that the life we live will never make us happy.
But we struggle anyway.
And we struggle only for ourselves.
We struggle for the emotions that our death would cause to the only people we care about. We struggle for the belief that one day, it will get better. We struggle every moment in our tiny lives for the things that matter to us.
It is a pointless, endless struggle of a life we never wanted to live.
A life that we feel we shouldn't live.
Sometimes we wonder if we should live at all, if the only option is this.
That begs the question- is it ever truly worth it?
Must we continue every cruel, grueling day of misery and sadness?
Can't we end it all with a single flick, a pull, a jump?
What is stopping us?
Should we continue to resist temptation?
Why... can't we simply...
die?
...
Something shattered.
Glass tinkled along the marble floor, leaving a beautiful sound for something that could be so dangerous.
Sora and Riku froze. They had rushed home, and as they panted in the foyer and Sora had leaned against the table. His body sagged against the stress from the weight of his heart beating down on him. His heart thrusting a disgusting embrace against his body- warming it against the cold. It didn't prevent him from feeling the cold, it simply prevented him from dying from it. Sora hated that feeling. He was barely there, barely breathing. Yet his heart pumped on.
The vase had fallen at their feet, crinkling into thousands of glimmering pieces.
Slices that were both beautiful, and dangerous.
Slices that could prove to be more fatal than a broken heart.
Riku stepped carefully away and headed toward the kitchen. Sora stood, feelings of guilt overwhelming him. It wasn't his vase to break- Riku had invited Sora into his house, and all Sora did was destroy something that probably meant alot to his best friend.
Sora destroyed everything.
He couldn't understand it. Why, when the day seemed to go along so greatly, did the sun have to set?
Why did he have to feel this way?
Why did he have to regret everything he did, his very existence?
Why did it all matter so much to him?
Why couldn't he give up?
Riku returned with a towel and began lifting up sharp shards of painted glass.
"Hey Riku... I'm sorry."
"It's alright." Riku swept up large pieces of glass, and wrapped them around a towel. "It doesn't mean much to me. Though I've been wanting to practice the art of recreating vases with gold plating where the cracks are, so this will certainly help. At the very least, I'll start getting into ceramics." Riku smiled. "Let's head on over to my room. We still need to play a couple video games before you go."
Sora nodded sullenly and glanced at the spot where the vase once rested. Riku noticed his gazed ans smiled comfortingly. "Honestly, don't worry about it." Rike wrapped the towel up and held it, heading up the stairs. "It'll be okay, Sora. Now, let's get your mind off of things."
...
Sora was sweating. His shirt stuck to his skin and his hands jerked back and forth against he surface slick with sweat. "Riku!" He moaned desperately. "Hurry up!"
Riku panted beside him. "I'm doing..." Riku grunted, "The best I can!"
Sora let out one last frustrated groan, jerking harder, before he dropped the controller and flopped down beside Riku on the bed. "Why the fuck did you leave me for the zombies? You horrible bastard. I thought we said that we were going to camp out together!"
Riku tossed down the controller, his hitting Sora's. Both of them were sticky with excitement because of the intense battle. "I didn't know we were going to be spawned at different points! I know you're not familiar with the maps, but you could have at least hid somewhere before I came to rescue you! What the hell were you thinking, standing in the middle of the battlefield like that? You didn't stand a chance, even if I did try and snipe all the zombies out!"
Sora huffed. "Next time, you try and be the bait. Everyone else left me for dead! Another human even tried to kill me!"
Riku nodded. "Yeah, they're pretty brutal out there. Once, I camped with this guy and he shot me dead when I got too close. They're incredibly cruel. That's life, right?"
"Yeah..." Sora responded wearily. "Sounds like life alright." There was an odd, questioning silence. Sora contemplated a question as he stared at Riku's invigorating ceiling. "Do you..."
Riku drew in a breath. "Yeah?"
"Nothing. It's really, really nothing." Sora held back the words that barely whispered on his lips.
Perhaps words are better off not spoken.
Unfortunately, words are the only way to officially communicate.
Without them, we are as lost as feathers in the wind.
We are without control and without power. We are left without direction and simply only able to accept what we are sent to, until we are nothing but rags- stuck in a muddy world that will suck us up forever.
We are what we express.
We are what we don't express.
And we are responsible for every moment of it.
With words, we can only struggle against the current.
But at least with words, we try.
...
I felt like y'all deserved a little bit of innuendo right there in the middle. I hope you enjoyed it ;)
(and if you didn't, or know of ways I can... improve my writing set of that sorts *no experience* review or pm :P )
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