CHAPTER 1: AMERICAN RAGE

Life at the Burrow, Harry found, was full of surprises. The biggest and nastiest one arrived a few days into his stay, when a strange owl flew in through the open window during breakfast and landed in front of Harry. Ron seemed to brighten up when he saw it. "Oh, looks like Alfred sent-" He stopped mid-sentence, and all of the Weasleys stared in mute horror at the red envelope the owl carried.

Harry looked at them in confusion. "What? What's wrong?"

"That's a Howler, that is," said George.

"If you want us, we'll be in our room," said Fred. The twins grabbed their plates, got up and almost ran to the stairs.

Harry frowned. "What's a Howler?" He gave the envelope another look. It seemed to be smoking slightly.

Mrs. Weasley said, "Just open it quickly, dear. It'll be better that way."

Still feeling very confused, Harry picked up the smoking letter and opened it. The Weasleys all covered their ears, and he quickly understood why. A familiar, already loud voice magnified by about a hundred times boomed from the letter. "YO, HARRY, WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU ANSWERING MY LETTERS, DUDE?! I'VE WRITTEN, LIKE, SIXTEEN! ARE YOU MAD AT ME BECAUSE I WASN'T ABLE TO BEAT THE TURBAN-SQUIRRELL? I KNOW THAT KINDA SUCKED, BUT THAT IS A TOTALLY BAD REASON NOT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE! IF I SAY YOU'RE A HERO, WILL YOU WRITE ME BACK? YOU'RE TOTALLY A HERO, DUDE, JUST STOP IGNORING ME! I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T IGNORE THIS ONE, IGGY SENT ME A HOWLER ONCE, SO I KNOW HOW THEY WORK! IF YOU DON'T WRITE ME BACK, I'M COMING OVER THERE AND FINDING YOU! WHAT? OH, HOLD ON, MATTIE WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING, TOO."

Another familiar voice came on, one that really didn't suit the loudness of the Howler. "HELLO, HARRY. I'M SORRY ABOUT ALFRED. HE'S NOT USED TO BEING IGNORED, AND HE'S NOT DEALING WITH IT VERY WELL, EH. I'M SURE YOU HAVE YOUR REASONS FOR NOT RESPONDING TO ANY OF OUR LETTERS, BUT IT WOULD BE NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU. RON AND HERMIONE HAVE BEEN ANSWERING BACK, SO I KNOW THAT THE LETTERS SHOULD BE ARRIVING. ARE YOU FEELING OKAY? IF YOU'RE SICK OR HAVE A BROKEN ARM OR SOMETHING AND CAN'T WRITE, THAT'S OKAY. I'LL TRY TO TALK ALFRED DOWN, EH. SEE YOU AT HOGWARTS, THEN!"

Alfred's voice returned. "YEAH, I'M NOT WAITING UNTIL START OF TERM, DUDE. WRITE BACK, OR I WILL FIND YOU. LATERS!" Harry let out a small yelp and quickly dropped the Howler as it burst into flames and vanished. Everyone at the table remained in a stunned silence while they waited for their hearing to come back.

Fred and George came back down the stairs. "Boy, Alfred can shout, can't he?" said Fred brightly, breaking the silence.

George handed Harry a quill and a roll of parchment. "Reading between the lines, I think he wants you to write back," he said.

Ron nodded in agreement. "You should probably do it as soon as possible. They're spending the summer overseas, so getting the letters to them is a bit tricky."

Harry looked down at the blank parchment. They were probably right. From the few Hollywood action movies he'd seen (usually by sneaking into the room when Dudley was watching one), the phrase 'I will find you' was usually synonymous with 'I will kill you'. He dipped the quill in an inkpot George provided and began writing.

Dear Alfred and Matthew,

I'm sorry I haven't written back. A mad house-elf was intercepting all of my mail, and I couldn't send anything because the Dursleys locked Hedwig up. I'm staying at the Weasleys' now, so that's all cleared up. There's no need to come over. I'm feeling fine – much better, actually, now that I know you all wanted to stay in contact. I was worried you'd all forgotten me.

Ron says you're staying overseas for the summer. What's that like? You must have a lot of stories. Make sure to tell me all about it! Please don't send another Howler, though, I don't think my eardrums could take it.

Can't wait to see you guys again,

Harry.

Feeling pleased with the letter, Harry folded it, put it in an envelope (again provided by George, he seemed to really not want to have to deal with another Howler), and gave it to the owl. It gave a hoot and flew back out the window. Everyone returned to their breakfast, secure in the knowledge that they wouldn't be interrupted by angry Americans again.

*time skip, Harry receives Hermione's letter*

Reading the letter made Harry think of something. "Hey, how do you think Alfred and Matthew are going to get their supplies?" he asked no one in particular. "They're not even in Britain right now, right?"

"Mr. Kirkland's still here," said Ron. "He's the one ferrying all the letters between us and them. I guess he'll get them?"

Mrs. Weasley let out a disapproving tut sound. "I don't know what he thinks he's doing, leaving two twelve-year-old boys alone in a strange country."

Ron rolled his eyes. "You've heard them talk, right? Judging from their accent, it's not a strange country."

That made Harry think of another thing. "Which country are they from, anyway? The United States or Canada?"

Ron frowned. "I… don't know. They never said. Alfred seems like he's American, right? But I'm pretty sure Matthew's accent is more Canadian…"

"How is that even possible?" asked Harry. "Brothers don't usually have different accents. And it's not like their family moved after one picked up their original country's accent but before the other one did, they're twins. And Mr. Kirkland took them in when they were pretty young, if they don't even remember their parents, so how is it that they still have those accents?" Now that he thought about it, there seemed to be a lot of strange things about the Joneses. How was it that Matthew had managed to bring a talking polar bear along and nobody seemed to notice? Maybe it was because he could be so very forgettable, almost supernaturally so. Matthew was soft-spoken, sure, but nobody was that naturally overlooked. As for Alfred, how was he so strong and durable? When Neville landed on him during Flying Lessons, he hadn't gotten a scratch. During that fight with the troll, he'd thrown a pipe so hard it actually got stuck in the creature's side, and he hadn't looked the slightest bit afraid even when it was charging at him. And then, during the whole Philosopher's Stone incident, he'd easily kicked open a door that Harrry, Ron and Hermione combined couldn't force open. And then he'd walked unscathed through the black flames without drinking any potion… and then he'd punched Quirrell with enough force to send him flying… and then he'd survived a curse that should have been complete overkill… Yes, there was definitely something odd going on with the Joneses.

Then he mentally kicked himself. Why was he being suspicious of two of his best friends? He knew that they were good people – sure, Alfred was a bit full of himself and could be an idiot, but he definitely believed in heroes and justice and the triumph of good and all that, and Matthew was probably the single nicest person Harry had ever encountered. Alfred had probably just drunk a super-strength potion or something in preparation for finding the Stone, and as for Matthew, well, who wouldn't feel a bit ignored when they had to grow up with someone as loud and attention-seeking as Alfred as a twin brother? Harry resolved to pay more attention to Matthew, though that would probably be easier to think than do. The guy hadn't even needed Harry's invisibility cloak in order to remain hidden when they snuck out to that third floor corridor.

Thought happens quite a bit faster than words, however, so all that thought took only a few moments. He realized that everyone was waiting for him to finish his thought. He mentally scrabbled for a moment to remember what he'd been saying, then said, "Oh, never mind, I'm sure it's nothing." The conversation turned to what they'd be doing that day, and by the time he started practise Quidditch with Ron, Fred and George he had almost completely forgotten his suspicions. Almost.

A/N: Oh noes, Harry's getting suspicious! And I finally included a Howler scene! How does America know how to create a Howler, you don't ask? England got drunk and taught him. I think that will be my explanation for anything magical America does that he wasn't taught at school. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! I'm glad you're glad I'm doing the sequel! HUGS FOR EVERYONE! \(^-^)/ This batch of reviews had two questions in them, so I'll just answer them here, shall I? Insufferable Proximity wanted to know if I was an USUK shipper. I can certainly see why someone might ship the two, but I personally don't. I see it as more of a brotherly relationship, and I'm a sucker for that kind of thing. It's why I always squeal whenever Prussia and Germany appear together in a strip. And a guest fittingly enough called Guests wanted to know if I'm doing another sequel. I'm probably going to regret it, but I'm planning on doing all seven books! I apologize in advance to my future self. NEXT CHAPTER: England does some shopping. See you all next time!