Author: Bloody Mary
{oOo}
Roboute Guilliman frowned as he perused the most recent medical reports on the sate of the Imperial Guard. Wounds were to be expected. Certain illnesses, as well, but there was a too high a proportion of the intimate kind among certain regiments. Not to mention the alarming rate of pregnancies, in or caused by the very same regiments. The Primarch of the Ultramarines put the report down and rose purposefully. It was time to visit his library.
Soon enough, he was surrounded with books in his quarters and scribbling notes. He cross-checked, double-checked and consulted various works. He prepared diagrams, charts and easy to understand illustrations.
After a week of continuous work, his newest piece of writing was an elegant manuscript. There were easy to understand pictures, where the penetrating partner was represented by a black pictogram and the receiving one in white. Safe sexual conduct for homosexual couples of both genders and heterosexual couples was discussed in different chapters. There was a whole chapter concerning responsible parenthood.
Now, he only needed to find the people who'd read it and start the proper courses.
{oOo}
Captain Degwin looked at his men. His reliable, strong men and felt his stomach sink to his knees. This was not his day, was it? Nevertheless, the Primarch himself had chosen him for this important task and he would not fail. He swallowed one last time, before pointing at a board with his sword.
"Gentleman, it has come to my attention that some of you regrettably lack some essential knowledge…"
{oOo}
Sergeant Dora Maw was doing much better then Captain Degwin. She roared. She cursed and made sure the women of her squad were too embarrassed, confused and terrified to make even one perverted joke.
"LISSEN UP, MAGGOTS! YOU ONLY LET PRICKS IN CONDOMS IN!"
Hah. It was good being a sergeant.
{oOo}