You're My Kryptonite Chapter 14: Sweet Dreams, a glee fanfic

I've moved the Ryder storyline from the next episode into this chapter. So if you haven't seen Lights Out yet, SPOILER WARNING. Also, trigger warnings related to what it's about. I've tried to explain at the end of this chapter why I've moved this storyline, so hopefully that makes sense.

Other trigger warnings are for more bullying and homophobic slurs.

I included the lyrics to the song in this chapter because they fit really well with the story. If you want all the feels, I def recommend looking up the song on Youtube.

For a while, after the lockdown, everyone lays off of Jake and Ryder. But soon the bullying is back, the jocks ganging up against them in every way they can. There are locker shoves, and frequent slushies. Ryder is shocked by the sheer number of people who taunt them with insults. He's sure it isn't this bad for Blaine. But then again, everyone's always known Blaine is gay. Until recently, they'd assumed that Ryder and Jake were both straight jocks. Maybe the sense of betrayal has brought out homophobic tendencies.

It's not until Ryder's getting changed after gym class one day that he realises how bad the bullying is getting. He gathers soap and a towel from his locker, before heading to the shower. They ran laps today, and he smells really bad.

As he steps up into the wet area, two of the tallest jocks step in front of him. 'Don't think you're going in there, homo.' They step forward, into his space, and Ryder steps back, stumbling back down the step. He loses his balance, falling to the floor.

The other boy speaks up now. 'We wouldn't want you sneaking looks. Little fag like you, you'd probably get off on it.'

There are a couple of other guys gathering around now. Ryder tries to bum shuffle back. His locker is just behind him, if he can just reach that, he'll be fine. He hasn't gone back far though when he's crashing into someone's legs. There's an entire circle of guys around him now. He cowers down, fearful.

Someone snatches his towel from his hand. With a sharp crack he feels it connect with his back. 'Do you think we can beat the gay out of him?' There are jeers and catcalls at this. The pain comes again and again. The noise is building, everyone having something to yell at him, some obscenity that needs sharing.

Ryder just curls in on himself, unsure what he can do. He's only been hit maybe four times, but the pain is immense. He tries not to make any noise, tries not to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they're hurting him. But the next time a blow lands on him, a cry tumbles from his mouth.

Suddenly, the room is almost silent. 'Shit,' a voice from the back says, 'do you think he's getting off on this?'

'Ew, he's a poofter and a freak.' Slowly, the crowd begins to disperse, disturbed at the thought of what they're getting involved in.

Ryder's relieved, pleased that it's finally over, until he hears another voice. 'Hey, look, here's pansy boy's letterman. Y'know, he lets his boy toy wear it.'

'That's shameful,' someone else adds. 'Getting faggy germs on Titans' colours.'

'Yea, we can't be having that.' Ryder watches, from his position on the ground, as two jocks take his jacket, tearing it in two between them. There's a cheer at this, and it gets ripped further, into smaller and smaller pieces. Ryder wonders briefly how they manage it, but he thinks he sees a pair of scissors.

The first jock approaches him now, holding all the pieces of the jacket. 'Still want it?' He lets the pieces fall over Ryder like confetti.

Everyone is long gone by the time Ryder gets back up. Slowly, he begins to change, no longer wanting a shower. The bell went a long time ago, and he knows Jake is probably waiting for him. It's nearly time for glee club.

Ryder is just stuffing his gym clothes back in his locker when Jake arrives. He takes in the scene, the pieces of jacket, and Ryder's sad eyes, before wrapping Ryder in a hug. 'Baby, are you ok?'

'No.' Haltingly, Ryder explains what happened, proud that he's able to get through it all without crying. When he finishes, Jake holds him tighter, but he doesn't say anything. Ryder knows why; there's nothing he can say.

Eventually, Jake pulls away. 'Do you want to come to glee club? You know we're safe there.' Ryder just nods in agreement, letting Jake lead him by the hand.

They make it to the choir room in one piece, although they do get shoved roughly into a locker. When they get there, Jake sits down before pulling Ryder on top of him. Ryder settles himself on Jake's lap, and Jake pulls him in close, hand rubbing over his back. Ryder buries his nose in Jake's neck, and relishes the feeling of safety.

When Mr Schue starts to speak, he manages to insult Sam, Blaine and Unique all in one breath. But then Ryder hears his own name. 'And Jake and Ryder, you don't need to shove your gay love down our throats. It's kinda inappropriate.' He's staring at them pointedly, like he expects Ryder to move. Ryder starts to shift, but Jake is holding him tight. He just lets himself sag back against Jake. Weren't they meant to feel safe and accepted here?

Xxx

The next day, Ryder and Jake are summonsed to the auditorium. When they get there, they find Marley, Unique, Blaine and Sam standing on stage.

'Have a seat,' Marley calls to them. Once they're seated, she continues. 'So we've noticed that you guys are having a rough time at the moment. And what Mr Schue said was way out of line. So we wanted to sing you this song.'

Music begins, and Ryder is instantly drawn in. The lyrics are amazing, and he feels himself tearing up.

We feel, we hear, your pain, your fear
But we're here, to say, who you are, is okay

And don't have to go through this on your own
You're not alone

You have more friends than you know
Some who surround you
Some you are destined to meet
You'll have more love in your life

Don't let go, give it time

Take it slow,
Those who love you the most, may need more time to grow

It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay
You have more friends than you know

Be brave, be strong
You are loved, you belong

Some day soon, some day soon
You will see, you will see
You're exactly, who you're supposed to be

You have more friends than you know
Some who surround you
Some you are destined to meet
You'll have more love in your life
Don't let go, give it time, give it time
Take it slow, take it slow
Those who love you the most, may need more time to grow
It's gonna be okay
You have more friends than you know

Be who you are, learn to forgive

It's not about who you love, but how you live
How you live

Xxx

It's Friday night, and Jake is staying over. They're perched on Ryder's bed, watching a movie, when his dad knocks on the open door.

'Jake, do you wanna give me a hand moving the mattress in?' Ryder waits while the two of them haul the mattress through from the guest bedroom. When his father leaves, Jake shuts the door.

Ryder turns to him as he settles on the bed. 'Are you actually gonna sleep on that?'

'Of course not,' Jake laughs in reply. 'But I couldn't really tell your dad that I intended to spoon you all night, could I? I'm not really in the mood for lectures about the depths of hell.'

'So what are you in the mood for?'

'Snuggling,' Jake immediately answers. 'Do you think that can be arranged?'

Ryder smiles, leaning forward to kiss Jake lightly. 'I think it definitely can.'

The last words Ryder hears before he falls asleep are whispered against his neck. 'Sweet dreams, baby.'

Xxx

Ryder can feel hands on him, stroking him and rubbing him. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want her touching him. He tries to tell her, but his voice won't work. He tries to yell, but he can't make a sound. The touching is more insistent now, forceful and rough. The fear is welling up in him. He can't handle this, he doesn't want it. Why won't she stop? Why does she keep going?

'Ryder.'

There are more hands on him now. Hands are gripping at his sides. There is a heavy weight on the back of his head. There are hands all over him, touching him everywhere. There are so many people now. Why are they all touching him?

'Ryder, baby, wake up. Ryder. You're ok. I'm here. Baby.' Gradually, the voice registers in his mind. He knows that voice, he realises. That voice means safety. He forces his way towards it.

The hand on his arm is soft, reassuring. The hand stroking through his hair is gentle, loving. Jake is curled around his back, whispering in his ear. Slowly, Ryder turns himself over, managing to bury his face into Jake's warm chest.

'Did you have a nightmare, baby?' Ryder just nods his head. 'Do you want to tell me about it?' He nods again.

It's a few minutes before he begins to speak. He needs to recover first, and mentally prepare himself. 'I've never told anyone this before.' He's speaking into Jake's chest. Jake's arms tighten around him. Tears are already beginning to slip down his face, landing on Jake's bare chest. 'When I – when I was eleven, I-I was molested. By my babysitter.'

Ryder wants to bury himself further into Jake's arms, but Jake is pulling away. He just leaves one hand on Ryder's bicep. 'Oh, Ryder, that's awful. That's really, really terrible.' Ryder doesn't say anything. He just continues to cry. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I've never told anyone, Jake,' he repeats. 'I, well, often I can kinda block it out. I haven't had a nightmare about it in ages.'

'I wish you'd told me though,' Jake presses. 'If I'd known, I never would have made you do anything.'

Ryder studies Jake for a moment, thinking over his words. Is this why he's being so distant? He sneaks a bit closer, places an arm over Jake's waist. 'No, Jake, that's completely different. I chose to do things with you. I can make those decisions.'

'But, the hotel room, everything, it was all my idea.'

'Yes, but if I didn't want to do anything, I would have said no. I trust you Jake, and I know I'm safe with you. I know I have a say with you.'

'Really?' Jake still doesn't seem convinced.

'Yes.' Ryder edges even closer, and he can hear the vulnerability in his voice. 'Now will you please just hold me?'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes. I really need you to hold me right now.' Jake finally relents, wrapping Ryder up tightly again. Ryder feels his tears return with more force, now that he doesn't have to pacify Jake anymore. As he lies there, safe in Jake's arms, he just takes all the comfort he can get from the situation. The first comfort he's gotten about this in over four years.

Above him, he thinks he hears Jake whisper into his hair. 'I love you, y'know.'

So I really felt that Ryder would tell Jake about this before he told the rest of the New Directions (if he told them. Do you have any opinion whether he'd tell them in this fic?). But I kinda felt he wouldn't be like 'hey, guess what' about it. So by doing the dream thing, it tied in really well with the episode title. Also, next chapter will be pretty jam packed with happenings so I didn't want to put it in there.

So this is another thing I don't really know too much about. I really just wrote this on instinct. There were a few things that I was unsure about, but the biggest thing was how it would have affected Ryder in his day to day life. Like, whether he would have days where it wouldn't occur to him, or if it was always there in the back of his mind. But I hope it felt believable enough to you. I really felt that this was too important a part of Ryder's character for me to ignore completely.

Just a reminder, if there's anything that you want rewritten from this fic (or scenes in this verse) in Jake's POV, I am taking prompts. So far, I've written Jake falling for Ryder, Jake's POV of them getting together, and Jake's POV of the I Do chapter, including the morning after. They are all in a fic called You're the One That I Want (from the Grease song, of course). Also, I'll take prompts for other stories too. I'm kinda keen to maybe do some Jyder AU.

Speaking of other stories, I posted a Jyder one-shot the other day called High on Love and Laughing Gas (shameless plug).