A/N

Hi guys! I can successfully say that now because I have gained more than two followers! Yep. My story has followers. I'm cool like that.

Just kidding, I am literally the opposite of cool.

Anyway, I'm really sorry about this chapter. It sucks. I'm posting it anyway because...Mario Kart. Again, I apologize for the suckiness.

Disclaimer: Homestuck and its characters do not belong to me. Neither does Mario Kart. Do I really have to say this? Probably not but I'm going to anyway.

Chapter 3

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and if you had known your friends were playing Mario Kartof all things you probably would have stayed home.

You've only played this god-forsaken game one other time, at your cousin's friend's girlfriend's house. And it wasn't pleasant, as your cousin's friend basically ragequits every game he ever plays beyond two levels and starts yelling at everyone. Thankfully none of your friends here are nearly as loud as that guy.

Dave has developed a "winner picks the track" rule and you find that either him, Sollux, or Gamzee is always picking the track. You haven't gotten one chance to and neither has Tavros, but neither of you seem to mind that much because the three frequent winners seem to have each course memorized. You also have to constantly switch out controllers with either Tavros or Gamzee, as Sollux and Dave refuse to give up theirs and there are only four.

Of course, whenever Sollux wins he picks Rainbow Road. Your record for falling off the least times is lingering somewhere around ten.

Finally, Tavros somehow manages to place himself in first on Maple Treeway (you kept running into the giant fucking yellow caterpillars) and picks a much easier track, Luigi Circuit.

"Aww, c'mon," Dave begins, "that's the easiest damn track in the whole game."

"Some of us aren't fucking Mario Kart fanatics!" You exclaim. Gamzee is now the one sitting out, and he's got his arm stretched across the back of the couch, and by extent, Tavros. Though everyone pretends not to notice.

"Exactly," Tavros agrees. Dave sighs.

"Fine," he says. "But after this, I'm having a fucking showdown with Sollux."

"What about me, bro?" Gamzee sounds fake-hurt.

"You win every time you play," Sollux says. "That'th why we keep making you thit out, dumbathth."

Heh. The way he says "ass" is really funny and you're having a hard time not laughing at him.

Luigi Circuit is really easy and you actually make it into fourth place, with Tavros in second and Sollux in first. Dave, however, somehow managed sixth, and looks about ready to throw his controller across the room.

"It's because that track is too easy for me!" He defends. "Honestly I would have gotten first place if it wasn't for that fucking blue shell."

Everyone glares at Sollux, who is smiling mischievously. "It'th the curthe of Weegi dude."

"DON'T BRING MEMES INTO THIS!" Dave shouts. Everyone is laughing but him.

Eventually Sollux and Dave get their showdown. They play Rainbow Road, of course. Gamzee somehow managed to find a bag of popcorn in Dave's enigma of a kitchen (the fridge was filled with swords. SWORDS. What the fuck?) and now you, Tavros, and Gamzee are crowded on the couch while the remaining two are sitting on the floor as they play.

"Dave, you'd better watch out!" You laugh. "Sollux has a blue shell."

"What? Hell ho," Dave says, picking up an item box and gaining a green shell. With incredibly accurate aim he knocks Sollux off the track.

"Fuck you," Sollux says.

In the end, a CPU wins and neither of them are very happy about it. Dave puts the game away and throws his controller at Sollux, who expertly catches it.

"I should probably head home," Tavros says, noticing the time. You check your phone; it's three-twenty. You should probably head home as well, but you don't feel like facing your dad, who is surely home by now.

"Need a ride?" Gamzee asks, and Tavros nods. "That's motherfuckin' great because I was about to head home too."

They leave, and you're left in the room with Dave and Sollux. Sollux slides on the couch next to you where as Dave seems to prefer the floor.

"What's the deal with them, anyway?" You ask. "They're basically a couple minus the kissing. Are they really that blind?"

"Yeth," Sollux begins. "That, and Tavroth hath a girlfriend."

"Oh," you say. "So he's just not into guys or...?"

"No, he's gay as hell," Dave says. "He's just too much of a wimp to break it off with her and she's a manipulative bitch."

"Vrithka'th not that bad," Sollux says. "Thee jutht apparently can't tell that thee hath thomehow ended up with a gay boyfriend."

"I feel kinda bad for her," you say.

"You wouldn't if you met her," Dave smirks. "Anyway guys, get out of my apartment. My bro's gonna be home soon."

You both leave without questions, though you are left wondering about Dave's bro. You decide not to ask because it's bound to be met with a weird story as an answer.

"Tho, what d'ya wanna do now?" Sollux asks you. You both are now walking aimlessly around the neighborhood and you are just now noticing how fucking tall he is. "I mean, we don't have to do anything if you don't want. I could jutht bring you home."

"Nah, I don't wanna go home yet," you say. Your response is met with an uncomfortable mass of silence as you both continue walking, looping around and coming in sight of the park, though it's still two blocks away. You're surprised; you've known half of these guys for a day, and the other half for less, and yet they've been treating you as though you've known them your whole life. It's...nice.

"Hey," he stops for a second, in front of a fairly small house with an old, rusty van parked in the driveway. "Thith ith my houth, we could hang out here if you want."

"Why the fuck not?" You shrug.

"It'th a little thmall," he says, waking up the sidewalk to the door. "That'th why we don't normally meet here. But I think there'll be enough room for two, ath long ath my brother doethn't have hith friendth over."

You both walk into his house, and it's dark so he turns on a light. "MITUNA!" Sollux yells.

No response.

"I gueth he'th not home," Sollux continues. "Either that or he'th theelping. Either way, we're safe."

Mituna...you know that name. He's that guy that's friends with your cousin.

"Hey, does one of your brother's friends happen to be Kankri Vantas?" You ask, though you already know the answer. You're walking up the stairs with him, presumably to his room.

"Yeah," Sollux says, as you both walk into his room. You try not to step on any of the various computer cords littering the room. "How'd you know?"

"Kankri's my annoying cousin," you say, sort of awkwardly standing around. "I met your brother and his girlfriend once. We were, oddly enough, playing Mario Kart."

"Heh, thmall world," Sollux laughs. "I bet Latula won every game."

"She fucking did," you say. "I could've sworn she hacked the game or some shit."

He smiles and you smile back.

Despite the danger of it all, this town is really beginning to grow on you.