Molly – Alone With Her Memories
Molly's thoughts drifted back to the two days they had spent in Oxford. She closed her eyes and could smell Charles and feel his touch. They had driven back to Bath, car in automatic mode, they had held hands the whole way. They pulled up outside Charles parent's house, who were away again. Must be nice to have so many holidays she thought. Charles walked round the car and opened the door for Molly, she swung her legs onto the road and he swept her up in his arms and kissed her deeply. 'old up Boss' she laughed. He took their bags inside and she wandered into the kitchen. 'Cupa tea', she called out as he went upstairs. 'No teabags here Dawes, tea leaves only' he shouted down to her. 'Wot' she screwed up her nose. She went into the cupboard and found different flavours of tea. Mint, Green, Earl Grey, Breakfast. She chose the breakfast tea and put the kettle on. 'Don't forget to heat the pot Dawes' he came up behind her and wrapped his arms round her kissing her neck. 'I know, I ain't stupid' she said laughing. He went to the fridge. Empty except for eggs, bacon, tomatoes and some mushrooms. 'Looks like a'fry up Dawes. 'Lovely, ain't 'ad one for ages, 'an the Breakfast tea will go well'! They finished eating and leaned on the table sipping their mugs of tea.
The 'phone rang and Charles went into the hall to answer it. Molly started to wash up. After a while she suddenly realised she couldn't hear Charles voice and it had gone very quiet. She dried her hands and went out into the hall. He wasn't there and the receiver was lying beside the phone. 'Charles' she called up the stairs, 'where are you' Silence. 'Stop messin' about, answer me' she shouted. Silence. She went to the table, picked up the receiver, and put it to her ear. 'ello' she said. Nothing. She jumped as the front door crashed open and Charles came striding in. 'You gave me a Julius Cesar, numpty' she said clutching her chest. Charles stopped in front of her, he looked strange. 'I'll get your bags, you're going home' he said going up the stairs two at a time. ' you talking about, what's goin' on' she shouted up after him. He came out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, dropped the bag, pulled her into him and kissed her long and hard. 'Whatever happens, know that I love you and will always love you'. He grabbed her hand and pulled her out to the car. 'What the hell is goin' on' she said, bewildered. 'Who was on the 'phone, why am I going back to London' . Charles didn't answer. He screeched the car to a halt at the Station, got out grabbed her bags thrust a wad of money into her hand, turned on his heel, jumped into the car and roared away. She stood watching him, stunned.
That was two weeks ago and she hadn't heard anything from him since. She kept replaying the scenario over and over but couldn't make any sense of it. She knew, without question, that he loved her but couldn't get her head round what had happened.
She'd taken the train to London but couldn't face going back to West Ham and booked herself into a Travel Lodge. She lost all sense of time as she lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Sleep came eventually. After two days she called Major Beck and asked if he knew where Cpt James was. He said he assumed he was with her. Molly told him what had happened and he sounded puzzled. He said they had some new recruits going to Pirbright and why didn't she go down there for a few days to take her mind off the things. He sent a car for her and she had settled herself in but inside she was distraught and couldn't get a calmness.
She came back to earth with a bang as the 'phone rang. She picked it up. 'ello' 'Hiya Molls', her Mum's voice came down the phone. 'Oh, hi Mum' ' I just rang to see how you was and if you're gonna cum 'ome this week-end. We'd love to see yer' her Mum said. 'Not sure yet, got some new recruits comin' in and want me to be 'ere to welcome them', she replied. 'Don't matter if you just turn up at the last minute. Cum an' see us Molls, we miss yer' her Mum sounded sad. 'I'll see Mum'. Molly didn't want to talk. 'Luv yer' she said and put the 'phone down.
Her shoulders slumped and she walked over and looked out of the window. She watched the new recruits in the quadrangle below all lined up. Untidy, scruffy, attitude, nervous. So many raw emotions. She remembered them all. How was she going to hack it, she'd never make it, she hated it, why had she joined up. Those were all the thoughts going through her head in the first few weeks when she'd arrived here. It was hard. God it was hard. The discipline was difficult, she was used to doing what she wanted, when she wanted and answering to no-one. A couple of the other girls were bitches but everyone was really alright. She started to like it.
Then that amazing day when she'd been told she was being sent to Afghan. She could have cried with joy. She'd made it – oh yes! She'd punched the air and couldn't stop smiling. Mum, Dad and Nan were not so happy. They were scared for their little girl. They'd read stories in the papers, seen them on the News. Transport planes arriving back carrying coffins. The streets lined with people paying their respects, and now their Molls was going out to fight the foreign bleeders. 'Oh Molls' her Mum had hugged her so hard and her Nan had stroked her hair, tears falling down her cheeks. Even Dad Dave had given her a clumsy hug and kissed her cheek. 'Don't worry I'm a Dawes, I'll be fine. No-one ain't gonna mess wiv a West 'Am girl' she laughed. She needed to go quickly or she was in danger of crying. She kissed the kids and walked out onto the landing. 'Don't forget to write' she shouted as she shut the door behind her.
She'd arrived at Brize Norton and been allocated as Medic to 2 Section. Then her worst nightmare. Smurf. She nearly died when she saw him. She'd had a very druken one night stand behind the takeaway, and now he was heading towards her smiling. Shit. The lads in the section were taking the piss and she'd begged Smurf to keep schtum about their one nighter.
To make matters worse she'd made a fool of herself in front of the Head of 2 Section , Captain James. It went from bad to worse when an injured soldier was brought in and she had felt sick when she saw his injuries and run out of the hospital. Things got worse until that day when she had gotten a grip, crawled through a minefield and saved Smurf's life. From then on she was accepted by the lads and the Bossman, Captain James .They'd had some pretty close escapes and hairy moments but she loved it. She loved Afghan, it was beautiful.
But something had happened to her out there. She'd grown up. She saw how different life was. How hard it was for women and girls to get an education. She smiled when she thought of Bashira, and of Qaseem, who was like an Uncle to her. All the time she was falling more and more in love with Captain James but thought she didn't stand a chance with him as they had such different backgrounds. But then he started to look at her differently, he'd stroked her fingers and asked her to come back to him when she was going on R & R. He got the sulks when he thought she'd got together with Smurf in Newport. Then she'd found out he was married and had a son. Her feelings were in turmoil and she avoided him when she could.
She remembered the Bossman dropping his guard and telling her she was the last thing he wanted to see if they had been blown up in the ditch and the magic moment when he had kissed her. She ran her fingers across her lips as if feeling him.
She shuddered at the thought of the day when Bashira's father had gunned Bossman and Smurf down. And of Smurf's death. Her friend Smurf, only he had wanted to be her fella.
How she had laughed at the restaurant in Bath when Bossman had told her his name was Charles. How he had told her he loved her. How they had spent a wonderful night together at his parent's house in Bath. How amazing he'd been in telling her to go back and find herself in Afghan, and that they' were nearly there'. Oh god how she loved him, adored him. Her, Molly Dawes from a grotty council flat in West Ham, him from a posh family in Bath, an officer from Sandhurst. He'd fallen for her. He didn't care where she came from, he just cared that she made him happy and he'd proved that he would do anything for her, go to the ends of the Earth for her. Not fully recovered from his devastating injuries, and having resigned his Commission, he'd had no hesitation in jumping on a troop transporter and going to Afghan to rescue her from the insurgents. Then they'd come back to Oxford and spent an amazing two days in bed making love and talking about their future. And now he was gone.
She couldn't hold the tears back any longer and fell back into the chair sobbing.