Courage, Kurt discovers, is a lot easier in theory.
As he picks himself up out of the trash on Monday morning, he seriously considers going home. He didn't even make it to first period before the jocks decided to give him a dumpster dive. He gets out of the dumpster and straightens out his outfit. After a few steeling breaths, he holds his head high and walks through the doors of McKinley High defiantly.
warblerbda asked you:
Hey, you. I hope you have a good day, maybe catch you later.
Kurt smiles at the message he gets online to on Monday evening, and he replies straight away.
Today wasn't too bad. Me and my friend Rachel are attending a NYADA mixer tomorrow, so I'm quite excited. I hope your day was good, too!
Kurt decides to have dinner early so that he can spend the rest of the night planning some things for tomorrow, his dad and Carole are working late and Finn is staying at Puck's so he only has to worry about cooking for himself.
Once he's eaten, he heads back to his laptop and sees he has a message, there's also a reblogged picture of a Brook Brothers bowtie on his dashboard, so he's pretty sure that the message is Blaine replying.
warblerbda asked you:
I'm glad to hear! How was school? Good luck for tomorrow and try not to be too intimidated, I remember my first NYADA mixer, it's quite the culture shock.
School was… school. Thanks for the warning, I'm intrigued, Kurt writes back and picks out his outfit for tomorrow while he waits for Blaine to reply.
He chooses a black waistcoat vest and a white high collar shirt paired with black skinny jeans. He can't decided on which scarf, though; it's between a thin silver one or his McQueen that has a black and white skull design on it. He takes a picture of himself with each of them on and posts them to Tumblr - Help me decide which scarf for my NYADA mixer tomorrow? Thank you!.
Once it's uploaded, he reads the message waiting for him:
warblerbda asked you:
I meant it when I said you could talk to me anytime, Kurt.
And I appreciate it, I really do, Kurt types back truthfully. Once it's sent and the page refreshes, he sees he has another message.
warblerbda asked you:
Oh, and the silver scarf, definitely. You look amazing.
Kurt manages to contain a blush this time and send a meek Thank you back.
warblerbda asked you:
You're welcome… for both things.
The next evening, Kurt wears the silver scarf.
The next evening, intimidated doesn't even begin to cover it.
The world has a wealth of talent, and I'm not sure how I can compete, he posts on to Tumblr when he gets home, forlorn and shaken.
He feels a little better due to the people who send him words of encouragement, but it doesn't get rid of the bad taste tonight's events have left in his mouth. He and Rachel had been believing that their talent was exceptional when maybe it wasn't anything too special after all. He felt claustrophobic at the mixer, shoved in room with so many talented people; he wasn't sure where he fit.
warblerbda replied to your post: The world has a wealth…
| Kurt? Are you okay?
I'm fine. Tonight just shocked me is all. I know I'm good, really good (Rachel, too), but there are so many other people who are good as well. I'm rambling, I know, but… Once I get out of Ohio, and do not get me wrong - that cannot come fast enough, there are going to be so many more people who are better than me. NYADA just seems further and further away. Kurt replies to Blaine in his ask box quickly, he's working himself up so much tears are starting to form in his eyes and he knows he isn't making much sense... he just hopes Blaine can understand.
warblerbda answered you:
Breathe. I get it, but listen to me. You are talented. Of course other people are good, but you shouldn't let that effect you. You'll be fine.
Kurt takes a deep breath, not realizing how much he needed to until now.
Thank you... It's just, I'm figuring out that outside of McKinley I may not be that special or that unique. I don't even have anything good to put my NYADA application.
warblerbda answered you:
I didn't have anything either, just the Warblers. You are special, Kurt. I don't want to seem too forward but I really like talking to you and wondered if there was any other way he could that would make it easier? Do you have Skype?
Kurt agrees, keeping a steady conversation can be awkward on Tumblr, and complies - sending Blaine his information.
He minimizes Tumblr and signs in to Skype, he hasn't been on in a while, and he quickly accepts the invitation he receives from Blaine.
Blaine [9:13] Well hello, Mr. Hummel.
Kurt [9:13] Mr. Anderson.
Blaine [9:14] How are you feeling?
Kurt [9:15] A little better, thank you.
[9:15] Before you said you only had the Warblers, what did that mean?
Blaine [9:16] Oh! That was my glee club, hence my Tumblr URL. I didn't have anything fancy on my application either, and I got in just fine.
Kurt [9:17] I was wondering about that actually. But I don't know if my voice and glee alone is enough to get me in.
Blaine [9:18] I saw that video of you singing Defying Gravity, you hit the high F. Perfectly. Your voice is enough to get you in. Look around and see if there is anything you can't get involved in - theatre based things?
Kurt [9:18] Blaine, this is Ohio.
Blaine [9:19] Right, sorry, I forget.
[9:19] There's nothing at all though, have you checked?
Kurt [9:21] I'm running for school president, that could look good right?
Blaine takes a while to reply, and Kurt busies himself on Tumblr until he hears the sound a new message.
Blaine [9:34] I've been looking online and I found a small community theatre that puts on productions in Westerville, Ohio.
Blaine sends him a link to the website and Kurt has never come across it before. The possibility of being able to perform in front of people who will appreciate it, even if it is in Ohio, makes his heart flicker with hope.
Kurt [9:41] Blaine! Thank you so much! That looks amazing, even if it is an hour away, I'm definitely going to check it out!
He emails the theater asking how he can get involved as soon as he says good bye to Blaine, which happens to be 2 am, so when he wakes the next morning he's surprised to see a reply.
Dear Mr. Hummel,
We would like to thank you for your interest in Westerville Theatre Group. We are currently holding auditions for our next production which is Stephen Sondheim's 'West Side Story.'
WTG is aimed towards young striving performers aged from 16 to 21. If you are interested, auditions are being held this weekend - Saturday, 10 am til 4 pm.
Yours faithfully,
Elaine Hopkins
Westerville Theatre Group
He reads it over and over again, ecstatic. He has an audition, and damn it - Kurt Hummel is going to be the best Tony Ohio has ever seen.
He browses through his iTunes library looking for possible audition songs; his head is brimming with ideas for songs he can sing and outfits he can wear - he feels determined, and it's such a breath of fresh air after yesterday's insecurities.
He's going to do it, he's going to star as Tony in West Side Story, and then he's going to get out of Ohio and into NYADA. He's going to make something of himself and prove every single person who ever put him down wrong.
He's humming the chorus of Music of the Night when Skype alerts him that he has a new instant message.
Blaine [7:09] You're online early.
Kurt [7:10] Good morning to you, too.
Blaine [7:10] Is it?
Kurt [7:11] is it, what?
Blaine [7:12] A good morning?
[7:12] Ugh, I'm sorry. Don't listen to me, I'm not a morning person.
[7:13] I've just come online hoping to have an email telling me that my morning classes are cancelled... no such luck. How are you? Why are you up so early?
Kurt [7:14] Aww, poor Blaine! I was just checking my Tumblr but I saw that I do in fact have an email...
Blaine [7:18] ...?
Kurt [7:20] Sorry, I was trying to hold off for suspense but that doesn't really work over Skype...
[7:21] Anyway, I emailed that theatre last night and they got back to me this morning. On Saturday I'm auditioning for the role of Tony in West Side Story!
Blaine [7:24] Wow, Kurt, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you. What are you going to audition with?
Kurt [7:26] It's all thanks to you, really. And I'm not sure.
Blaine [7:27] How about something like Firework? Or Raise Your Glass?
Kurt [7:28]...I was thinking more along the lines of something less top 40 and more musical theatre... I'm really tempted with Don't Rain On My Parade but that's kind of Rachel's thing. I don't know...
Blaine [7:30] How about The Greatest Star? That's kind of Don't Rain On My parade, but not, and it would show off your vocals.
Kurt [7:31] Blaine, that's perfect!
[7:32] I think I have just the outfit!
[7:32] And I could use my Sai swords!
Blaine [7:34] Wait, Sai swords?
Kurt [7:35] Yes! Thank you! I have to go and get ready for school now, maybe catch you later. Bye.
Blaine [7:35] You're welcome? Bye, have a good day!
"What was all that noise from your bedroom this morning? Sounded like squealing and singing?" Burt asks as Kurt butters his toast.
Kurt huffs indignantly. "I do not squeal. If you must know, I have an audition."
"What kind of audition?" his dad asks.
"There's a theatre group in Westerville and they're putting on West Side Story. I'm auditioning this weekend."
"Westerville? That's a bit far, isn't it? But well done, kiddo, I'm proud of you," Burt says, giving Kurt a comforting pat on his back.
Kurt smiles and takes a bite of his toast. He feels happier and more positive than he has in a long time.
The next two days of school seem to go slower than they ever have before, but he doesn't let it get him down. He spends most of it planning his presidential campaign with Brittany and discussing NYADA with Rachel. Before he knows it, it's Friday and Kurt is parked in the lot outside the theatre practising his Sai's in his car. It's probably not the safest thing to do, but he's jittery with too much excess energy and he has over two hours to wait before auditions.
A knock on the car window startles him out of his concentration and he jumps, nearly stabbing himself with his swords in the process. He puts a hand to his chest and tries to slow down his breathing, he looks outside to see an older lady smiling apologetically at him.
"I'm sorry, dear, I didn't mean to scare you," she says after he rolls down his window. "I was just coming to see if you were alright, the car was jumping around a lot."
Kurt smiles back at her, his heart beat finally back to normal speed. "It's fine, I'm fine."
"Are you here for the auditions?"
"Yes. I know I'm a little, okay - a lot early," he corrects at her amused grin. "I'm just nervous and excited and I really want this," he says, maybe a little too enthusiastically.
"Would you like to come and wait inside, dear? It's cold out here. We have tea and honey," she offers kindly, and Kurt accepts; it is cold, and he was sold at the mention of honey.
"There you go," the lady says as she passes Kurt his tea. "What's your name, sweetie?"
"Kurt Hummel, ma'am." He wraps his hand around the cup, chasing the heat and tentatively takes a sip. The temperature is perfect and he sighs as he feels the liquid warming his throat.
The lady shakes her head disapproving but a small smile still graces her face. "Less of that young man, I'm not that old. Ah, Kurt, yes I remember you emailing me. I'm Elaine."
Kurt recognises the name immediately, and suddenly he feels nervous again.
"Calm down, you'll be fine," Elaine reassures with a wink. "Now I have to go and do some things but feel free to rehearse, it won't be long before other people start arriving."
He thanks her and does just that.
When he's up on the stage performing, he knows this is where he's meant to be. He feels alive; he can feel the beats of the music resonate in his chest as he bounds across the stage, the song is challenging (a silver flute -) but it's perfect for him (I'll blow my horn, till someone blows it) and he's lost in it - believing every word.
I am the greatest, greatest star
The holds the last note and twirls his swords before stopping and smiling. Smiling so wide because Elaine and the other two people judging the auditions are on their feet, clapping and cheering - and, that's got to be good, right?
I'm Tony! jgjhgcfxkxytckyfccrk, he posts onto Tumblr with shaky hands.
"I'm Tony!" he shouts into his empty room, before breaking out in hysterical laughter. He can hear his dad laugh along with him from where he's passing outside the door.
"Well done, bud," Burt says through the door.
"Thank you, dad."
He resists the urge to jump up and down on his bed - he won't because he is an adult after all, but mainly because it would ruin his delicate Egyptian sheets. He's still grinning when he goes back to Tumblr, West Side Story soundtrack playing proudly in the background. He has so many likes and congratulations off of people - he loves his friends.
Well done my dearest Kurt, one of his best friends, Mia, replies.
I love you, thank you! he sends back, and is slightly taken back when she privately messages him.
miameyou asked you:
so of course, I'm very happy for you... now spill, you and Blaine, what's happening there?
He blinks dumbly at his screen. Me and Blaine? What?
miameyou asked you:
oh come on mr, you and warblerbda - he's hot well done. the flirty replies to each other, always reblogging each other, need I go on?
He rolls his eyes, still a little shocked by the fact that Mia thinks there is something going on between him and Blaine. Okay, so maybe the other boy is ridiculously handsome, and they might flirt a little, but - no. Kurt knows it would hurt too much to even humor the notion of something happening them, Blaine is so far away and so far out of his league.
You're crazy. Nothing is going on, silly. Once he's replied he goes back to his dashboard and Blaine has reblogged the post he made earlier.
I am so proud of you! he's added to it and Kurt's stomach does a small flip. "Traitor," he whispers to it.
Kurt [8:01] Thank you!
Blaine [8:04] You're most welcome, Tony ;).
Kurt laughs out loud and shakes his head fondly (maybe he has a little crush...).