CHAPTER 24: AVOIDED A SPIT-TAKE

The double attack on Justin and Nearly Headless Nick turned what had hitherto been nervousness into real panic. For some reason it was the ghost's fate that seemed to make people freak out the most. America had to admit that it was kind of worrying to imagine what could damage something that was already dead. He was almost reluctant to head home for Christmas break, since it would mean leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione all on their own. But then he imagined the huge stack of paperwork that would most likely be waiting for him in the summer if he didn't catch up on it now and those feelings went away. He and Canada were hardly the only ones leaving Hogwarts, of course. After the double attack there weren't many kids willing to stay in the castle any more than necessary.

It was probably a good thing for Harry so many kids were leaving, really. Everyone seemed convinced that he was the Heir of Slytherin, and would give him a wide berth in the hallways as if he smelled really bad. Which he didn't. He smelled rather nice, actually. You would have thought the kid would be used to people pointing at him and muttering, but America supposed that it was a very different thing when it was clearly so negative. The Weasley twins found it amusing, at least. They often went out of their way to march ahead of Harry down the corridors, shouting, "Make way for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through…"

Percy, of course, disapproved. "It is not a laughing matter," he said coldly.

"Oh, get out of the way, Percy," said Fred. "Harry's in a hurry."

"Yeah, he's nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets for a cup of tea with his fanged servant," said George, chortling.

Ginny seemed even less amused by this, though. "Oh, don't," she wailed every time Fred asked Harry loudly who he was planning to attack next, or George pretended to ward Harry off with a large clove of garlic when they met.

Usually, America's response to this sort of behaviour would be to declare Harry's heroism, but the twins' antics were clearly cheering up the despondent Harry, so he let it continue. Besides, it was pretty funny. They seemed to be having the opposite effect on Malfoy, who looked increasingly sour each time he saw them at it.

"He's totally just dying to go into a Bond-villainesque rant about his plan, dudes," said America. "I mean, seriously, he's clearly going to grow up into one. If he doesn't have a huge, extravagant mansion with super-powerful security by the time he's old enough to grow some evil facial hair, I'll eat my glasses."

"Well, if things work out, we'll hear his rant soon," said Hermione in a satisfied tone. "The Potion's nearly ready. We'll be getting the truth out of him any day now." She looked at America and Canada sadly. "It's too bad you two won't be here for it. Are you sure you can't stay?"

"Sorry, Hermione," said Canada. "But we have… prior engagements, eh."

America nodded. "Yeah! There's always this super awesome Christmas party, there's no way I'm missing it!"

The Golden Trio still looked rather sad, so Canada added, "Look on the bright side, eh. You won't need to find two extra Slytherins for us to impersonate."

The end of term came far too quickly for America's liking. Before he knew it the school grounds were covered in snow, classes were over, and his trunk had been crammed full of all his things. He and Canada hugged the Golden Trio goodbye, and went off to the Hogwarts Express. They spent the trip talking about what they'd be doing during the holidays.

"Bro, do you remember who's hosting the party this year?" America asked his brother.

Canada stroked Kuma's head thoughtfully and said, "I think it's Ludwig's turn this time."

America groaned, leaning back further into his seat. "Great… that's sure to be fun," he said sarcastically.

"It will be, eh," said Canada. "Ludwig isn't dead serious all the time, you know. And Gilbert will probably be helping, too, and he's fun."

"I guess…" America glanced out the window. "D'you think we should've told Iggy about the attack?"

Canada continued petting Kumawhatshisname, his expression turning worried. "I'm not sure… I mean, it wasn't that long ago. We can just tell him once we see him. And… then he'll probably yell at us for not telling him earlier." He paused. "Maybe waiting to tell him face-to-face wasn't such a good idea, eh."

"Yeah…" America checked his watch. "We're getting pretty close, we should probably get changed. And by the way, when Iggy starts yelling at us, I'm blaming you."

Canada sighed, saw the inevitability of arguing, and started getting changed.

*time skip*

Once again, England was waiting for the two of them at Platform 9 ¾. America jumped out of the train, carrying his trunk in one hand. It felt good to be back in normal clothes for once. He'd missed his bomber jacket. And not having to always wear a dress.

America went over to England and dropped the trunk on the trolley. "Hey, Iggy! What's up?"

England glared at him. "Oh, you know, just the usual attacks on children." He nodded to Canada. "Good to see you, Matthew."

Canada smiled, his eyes full of surprise. "Thanks! It's good to see you, too, eh."

They made their way to England's car in silence. America kept looking over at Canada, trying to communicate that he would not be the one to tell England about the attacks. Canada kept doing the same thing. It wasn't until they were all sitting in the car that England broke this stalemate. "All right, you two have been exchanging meaningful glances every ten seconds. What do you want to tell me, America?"

America pouted. "Why me? Canada was doing it, too!"

England smiled at him nastily in the rear-view mirror. "I enjoy watching you squirm. Now spit it out."

America heaved a giant, dramatic sigh. "Oh, fiiine. There was another attack a little while ago."

It was a good thing England hadn't actually started driving yet, because he probably would have run over several pedestrians. "WHAT?! WHY THE BLOODY HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?!"

Canada came in to the rescue. "We thought that with Christmas break coming up, we could just tell you face to face. And now we have. Doesn't make much of a difference when, eh."

England took a deep, calming breath. "I… suppose that's true." He put the keys in the ignition and started up the car. "When we get to my place, you two will have to wait to be aged back up. I need to call Scotland. If you've got any more huge pieces of news to drop on me, please wait until doing so won't cause a traffic accident." He pulled into the street, and America and Canada got the feeling that disobeying him right now would be a very, very bad idea, so they spent the ride in awkward silence.

A/N: I don't really like this chapter... ah, well, I'll just throw it out there. HUGS FOR EVERYONE! \(^-^)/ Now for Q&A! To SoulxMakaLover37: Uno) Not really. Dos) Hold on, let me google it... It's a shoulder muscle, I guess? That's what Wikipedia says, anyway. Tres) No. Quatro) Basically I do all the work online and see a teacher about once a week. It works well if you're not a procrastinator. I'm having a bit of trouble with that part... Cinco) BORON! Seis) All praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster! Siete) Well, according to Pottermore I'm a Ravenclaw, and I'm pretty cool with that, so Ravenclaw! Ocho) Nope. Sorry for the brevity, I'm trying to make these things a bit shorter. To Ahdaze: Umm... that might be going a bit far. Plus it's pretty greasy and gross right now, you probably wouldn't want it. To Berlin: Probably France. No telling what he might do to the others' weak, defenseless bodies... To TheChibitalian: Yeah, there are definitely some similarities. I might actually have someone bring it up if my current plans for this series work out... We'll see. And - what? Cookie? Cookie, where did you go? I thought you liked me! COOOKIIIIEEEE NOOOOOOOO! *starts sobbing* NEXT CHAPTER: Canada once again wakes up on Boxing Day and wonders what he did the night before. See you all next time!