Jace had truly terrible taste in music. Okay not terrible, but after half an hour of a terrifying mix of One Direction and Simple Plan I was about ready to poke my utterly useless eyes out.

After commenting on his terrible choice in music, I received an indignant, "Oh and I bet the little pretty princess would rather me play Céline Dion or Cher." I almost could hear the shiver in his voice.

The following slap to the arm was totally deserved. Sinking in to a pouting face, I muttered, "I'm gay jackass not a girl."

The room went completely silent except for the occasional beep from one machine or another that lined my right side. I felt the bed dip as Jace leaned away from where he sat side by side with me and then turned to face me. I quickly felt my face go red and I turned my head away from the gaze I knew was being placed on me. I mentally prepared myself before I spat out defensively, "What?"

Jace leaned back to where he had been before and I felt his shoulders rise in a clear shrug. "Nothing man. I guess I just can't remember your ever saying that out loud." Now I turned to look at him, trying to keep my face formed into a confused expression because I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

He must have gotten the message because he started to explain more before apparently remembering something, "OH! I have that jacket and change of clothes you asked to me to get, but I if you were cold you could have just asked for another blanket. The nurses will grab it for you, ya know." The blood rushed to my cheeks and I heard Jace chuckle. I slapped his arm again before he continued, "What I meant earlier was that you never talked about yourself like that before. You just... I don't know."

I didn't know what to say so I just made fun of him, in a brotherly way of course.

"God Jace, where does Clary have your balls? You sound like a girl."

Jace laughed it off and I think he shook his head. After that we fell into a discussion about Clary and how Jace thought Clary might be "the one" and that he might love her. From their conversations I knew it was true and I was happy for my little brother. Jace deserved to be happy and to have someone there for him after his long shifts at the firehouse. Since being made chief he was pulling way to many hours and it was affecting his health.

I knew why he didn't want to come home. It was the same reason I wandered the streets for hours after my shift ended at the guitar center. The same reason my mother didn't live in Switzerland. The same reason Izzy is terrified of the dark.

Max.

But I wasn't going to think about him. I wasn't. I was going to think about how in 5 hours I was going to leave this hell of a hospital bed. I was going to go home. Yeah, I had to deal with a wheelchair and then crutches but I would survive. I was going home and that's all that mattered.

About half an hour later I heard something clacking against the door. I sat up and winced, still on edge and in pain, before Jace pressed my shoulder back against the bed. With a smile in his voice, he said, "Wait here I think that's Izzy."

The bed dipped from Jace's shifting weight and then he was gone, striding over to the door. After 3 slaps from his flip flops, I heard the click of the door popping open and then I heard Izzy's clicking heals approaching my bed. She was breathing heavy and I almost asked her if she was in need of her inhaler but I got my answer a second later.

"Damn Alec, you had to get the biggest ass service dog ever didn't you?"

I must have gotten a shit eating grin across my face because Isabelle laughed before placing a warm and fuzzy body at my feet. I completely forgot the aching in my ribs and my numb shoulder for a second as I leaned down to put my hands in my best friend's fur.

"Oh buddy, I missed you so much!" I said in a sing song voice. I could have sworn I heard Jace mutter "pussy" in the corner but I don't care. All I knew was that, broken as he may be, Jacob was going to be alright. Speaking of broken, "Iz how is he?"

"Oh he is about as screwed up as you are. Smashed ribs and hips. Can't walk for 3 months, so you'll have to deal with walking around without him for a week but we got you big bro."

All I could say was, "Thank you Izzy."

Sounding slightly choked up, she said the returning welcome and I left it alone, turning instead to my dog. Letting my hands run over the familiar muscled body and coming up short as I hit hard plaster. I then leaned back, letting my hand just rest on Jacob's head and gently ran it back and forth over his muzzle.

The next twenty minutes was filled with jokes and memories but eventually Izzy had to get back to her store after returning Jacob to the vet's office and Jace had to get back to the firehouse leaving me alone to my thoughts. I didn't really solve the world's problems though. Mostly, I just sat there skimming on my phone and IPod.

Thinking of my phone, I realized that Magnus and I had never exchanged numbers. Honestly, I bet he didn't even know I had a phone.

I was going to have to change that.

Leaving my phone on a cold plastic table at my side, I started sifting my IPod. I had over a 10,000 songs due to music sharing groups and many hours combing through the records in the back of the Guitar Center and I went back to the older additions, quickly remembering their notes and chords like an old friend.

Sitting here and listening to The Dirty Looks while humming along, I couldn't remember why exactly I had ever giving up singing. It was an escape I truly needed during these years of darkness. A flashlight to disperse the darkness. A guiding hand that could have kept me from becoming such a spiteful person. Maybe if I had kept music with me instead of pushing it away as hard as I had, then maybe I wouldn't have needed Ms. Burnet.

Adella Burnet was my "mentor" after the accident. A sweet old French women with a mouth like a sailor. I got paired with her because I was the only newbie who could speak French, Ms. Burnet's only language. She always smelled like sandalwood and never said a negative word about me. She did have to slap me around figuratively in the beginning though. I feel sorry for her now; having to deal with such a surly ass whole that had lost all will to even breathe.

I remember one afternoon in particular. We were working on something that I have lost forgotten, hell, I've forgotten a lot about that day but I do remember her words, the words that made me want to try for her at least.

"Alexander Lightwood you take off that mask of ugly this god forsaken minute. You are too damn beautiful of a person to let your face be twisted with hatred. I am going to tell you one thing right here and now. We cannot choose when it rains little one, but we can choose to buy a fucking umbrella and carry on with our day." All I did was shrink further down in the chair with a blush covering my cheeks and had let out a huff.

Adella had then gotten up and proceeded to walk right up to me and she put her hands around my face before saying, "Every single person on this green earth wants happiness without pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain. Now I want you to start again."

I had started again. I had started again in that lesson and in my life.

But maybe it would have been easier with the music. Maybe it would have been easier if I had something to go for, something to achieve.

As if I had asked to remember, a P!nk song comes on and all the pain comes back. Comes back in a wall that makes me choke and struggle to find my breath. All the pain and all the tears that I had cried in a hospital room that smelled so close to the one I'm in now.

All the pain of my father telling me I should be dead.

_xxXxx_

So.. That was interesting.

I wanted to get this out there because I just watched the trailer and it was fucking EPIC!

SO expect an update to that … interesting? Annoying? I don't know funky? Conclusion by the weekend alrighty.

Also I don't own P!nk or The Dirty Looks (but if you are an appeasing kind of person please go check them out especially "Nobody Knows " by P!nk and "Glitter in the Air" by P!nk and "The Last Forever" by The Dirty Looks) *btw guys "Glitter in the Air" is my favorite song of all time! It's just so beautiful.

I hope you enjoyed this totally crap chapter that I did in.. Wow 34 minutes… impressive I must say.

OH! On the bus to a cheer competition I mapped out the whole entire story *laughs evilly* this trip shall be an interesting one my pretties.

As always happy trails my lovely Readers & Reviewers

~L.C (who apologizes for this crap chapter that she wrote in 34 minutes)