Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. This story is mine, as are the OCs. Writing this chapter was…difficult. Several sections of it went through edits and overhauls to try and get the atmosphere and the characterization just right. I hope you all enjoy the result!

..:-X-:..

146 – One

Since coming home from the hospital, Aerith had hardly said a word. Once they returned to their apartment, she had lethargically climbed into bed, curled up with her cat Piper, and remained there, staring out of the open window. She lukewarmly assured Cloud that she was fine whenever he asked, and a slow blink of her eyes was a despondent 'no' when he asked if she needed anything.

Cloud could have dismissed that as fatigue—she had been through a lot in such a short while, she was finally getting some downtime—but her eyes were open, and she looked to have no intention of dozing off. If anything, it looked like her mind was going a mile a minute behind her eyes. Unsure what to do, he had left her to her thoughts in the bedroom while he took up station in the living room, working on this or that or anything to keep his hands busy.

When his efforts to leave her alone failed, he found himself standing in the doorway, looking at her, feeling perplexed and worried. He didn't know how to proceed; Aerith had always been so straight forward. HE was usually the one who buried his thoughts and feelings. She was being evasive, and it was bewildering.

He couldn't continue to stand in the doorway like a creep, though, and he awkwardly stepped into the room, glancing around for some distraction. He crossed over to her side of the bed, stood there for a beat, and then slowly sat down on the edge of the mattress near her legs. She shifted her legs back to give him more room, but otherwise she didn't react. Well, she hadn't kicked him out. That had to be a positive.

"She's me." It came out in a hoarse whisper.

Cloud involuntarily leaned toward her a little, having barely caught her words. "Who?"

"She saw it too." Aerith continued, eyes on the window. "She knew me, and I recognized her. I had never seen her before, Cloud, but she was…familiar."

He grimaced. Of course this was about her encounter with Beth Marshall. The psychotic woman had almost done Kingdom Hearts only knew what to Aerith before he and security got there. The woman was unsettling; she wasn't right in the head. Why would Aerith say…

"She is my future." Aerith murmured. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow…but eventually, am I going to be like that?"

"No." Cloud immediately assured her, reaching out and placing one hand on her hip. "Beth Marshall is a very sick woman. We don't know what she's gone through. Why would you even think that?"

"She saw the Heart." Aerith's eyes finally moved, shifting from the window to meet Cloud's gaze. "She was…exposed to it. She knows the Heart more than my year's worth of research. I barely got a glimpse compared to what she's seen. Look what it's done to her."

"Did she tell you that?" Cloud asked. "Before she started screaming—"

"No." Aerith loosed her arms, and an aggravated Piper crawled out, hopping to the floor. "It's complicated to explain, but her eyes…She is what happens when you stare at the Heart too long, when you're around it too long, when you're…" She made a vague gesture and then lifted a hand to her lips to keep her composure. "She's become a monster."

"You aren't a monster." Cloud stated matter-of-factly. "And you're never going to become one."

"You don't know that." Aerith rolled onto her back and then sat up, hugging her knees and looking at him. "Everything I've done over this past year…The research, the experiments, the secrets…I kept secrets, not just from you, but from the Restoration Committee, from the Alliance…in pursuit of this…this ludicrous idea that I could—"

She cut off, but Cloud looked to her encouragingly. "Could what?"

Aerith studied her kneecaps for a long moment. "It doesn't matter. I'm done. I'm done with the crystals and the research and the lifestream and the fucking Heart of the world…" Her voice cracked at the rare swear word, and she lowered her face to her knees, shoulders trembling.

Hearing that should have made Cloud relax. It had been a nightmare: watching her throw herself into this danger. Merlin, the most powerful wizard in Radiant Garden, had avoided the topic and actively discouraged Aerith from pursuing it. She had nearly gotten herself killed through it all, and the very topic of her research had almost driven a wedge between the two of them. But he didn't feel relaxed. She was in pain. This was Aerith as he had never seen her before: guilty, angry with herself, helpless, and defeated. She was scared.

Unable to stand seeing her like that, Cloud moved closer and put his arms around her, gently pulling her to his chest. She came forward with no resistance and put her arms around his neck. She wasn't crying, her eyes were dry, but she was still shaking.

"You were right." She mumbled. "I should have stopped a long time ago."

Cloud grimaced. "No…I wasn't right." He rubbed her back in small circles. "You said it yourself: you looked into the Heart of Radiant Garden itself and survived. You passed the test and you saw…Truth was what you called it. No one else in recorded history has done that. You communicated with the…" What was her word? "…lifestream of Radiant Garden. You commanded it. You bent it to your will."

"No one should have that power." She said, glancing down at the state of her hands, which were still healing from the burns that she had sustained from the crystals.

"Then don't use it." He shrugged. "Just because you have it doesn't mean you have to do shit with it. Everything you do is your choice. If something doesn't feel right, you don't have to do it. It's just…a matter of will power."

Aerith quieted after that, and they stayed like that for a while.

The irony of his words wasn't lost on Cloud. Choice was everything. He had made all the choices that put him where he was now, that had put him through the Hell that he had endured over the years, and that had caused him so much agony. Hades, Sephiroth, how utterly alone he was for so many years because pride and shame wouldn't allow him to rejoin the Restoration Committee.

Looking back, he had been an idiot, and everyone had seen that. Despite his efforts to hide away, everyone had seen right through him. Everyone had tried to bring him into the fold, no matter how many times he pushed away. Aerith had been at the forefront of that effort. He owed her everything. He and Tifa were friends again because of her encouragement. He and Leon didn't hate each other anymore because of her mastermind plans. He was alive because of her inability to let him go off to rot alone in his obscurity.

Why wasn't this easy? Aerith was the most important person in his life. He would die for her and kill for her. Why couldn't he comfort her? Why wouldn't the words come to properly alleviate this pain she was feeling? Leon made it always look so infuriatingly easy with Tifa, and vice versa. Those two freaks, who had tripped and fallen into a friendship that turned into a marriage and, geez, parenthood: when Tifa had had such unconquerable trust issues and Leon had had the emotional capacity of a toaster…But somehow none of that had mattered.

Cloud had been in love with Aerith for years, but he had been so ashamed of his deal with Hades and terrified of involving her in his past with Sephiroth. Leon and Tifa had met, fallen in love, gotten married, and had a kid before Cloud Strife could even fully admit to the woman he loved that he loved her. How pathetic was that?

"I don't blame you for dealing with Hades." Aerith said softly, as though reading his mind.

Cloud tensed at that.

She lifted her face from her knees and met his eyes. "I don't blame you for what happened with Sephiroth, or this darkness that you think you carry around."

His throat ran dry and he had to look away from her briefly.

"Stop." He said lowly.

"I just want you to know that." She went on. "We've all done things that—"

"No, just stop." Cloud stood from the bed, taking a few steps away from her.

Aerith looked confused, and Cloud ran both hands down his face, before running them back up through his hair and knitting his fingers together at the back of his head, looking at her.

"I have to be the one to comfort you sometimes." He stated.

At her perplexed look, he took two deep breaths and continued.

"That's…that's how this works. If something happens to me, you make me feel better. If something happens to you, I make you feel better. That's—" He made a cyclical gesture at the air between them. "I'm…I'm over my crap. Hades, Sephiroth, it's in the past. I'm…I'm better. You made me better. You and…and Tifa and Merlin and Yuffie and Cid and even Leon. I was…I was a wreck, and you brought me back to life. It's…It's my turn." He finished awkwardly.

Aerith pursed her lips, her chin dimpling as emotion clouded her eyes. "Your turn to what?"

"Be…" More vague gestures at the air between them. "…the not-wreck. I have been a shit boyfriend these past…months." He dropped his hands to his sides in frustration. "You have been alone in all of this…Everything you've done this past year, I wasn't there for you. I couldn't be there for you…because I'm stupid."

She snorted ruefully at that. "I didn't want to drag you into it."

"You shouldn't have had to 'drag' me anywhere. That's the whole point." He countered. "I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to support you. I wanted to be there for you like you have always been there for me. But when the time came, I wasn't. You don't get to make me feel better for that. This isn't about me. I'm better. You made me better."

Impulsively, he crossed back over to her and knelt down so that they were at eye level, and he gently took her bruised and ginger hands as gently as he could.

"So, now it's my turn." He said quietly.

She was hurting. Not just from these burns and bruises and not just from her encounter with Beth Marshall and confronting the Heart of Radiant Garden. Everything that she had been through this past year had hit her hard. And she had endured it all alone, because he had been too proud and cowardly to overcome his own demons to be there for her. No more. Never again.

Cloud lifted her hand and gently pressed his lips to the base of her wrist, where the bruises were the least prominent. Drawing a slow breath, he lifted his eyes back to hers.

"Let me make you better."

Aerith was staring at him in confused surprise. A hint of a smile for the first time in weeks tugged at the corners of her lips. She dropped her eyes to where his hand was holding hers palm up. She turned her hand over and rubbed her thumb against the side of his hand. Pursing her lips, she inhaled deeply and met his gaze again, moisture making her eyes glassy.

"Thank you, Cloud."

As she said it, she smiled further until she almost looked happy, but it was forced. He could see it. She was trying so hard to look okay, to convince him that she was all right. Maybe she was feeling better, maybe his attempt to comfort her was a temporary fix. That wasn't good enough. He couldn't be a temporary fix, someone to make her feel better in the moment and no longer. He wanted…permanence.

He wanted to see her every day, see her smile every day, hear her laughter every day, and just…be with her every day. He wanted to be someone that she could trust entirely, not just with her secrets and her dreams, but with her fears and her doubts. He wanted her bad with her good, the weak parts of her along with her strength, and all of her despair and rage that came with her happiness and love. He didn't want the mask, the façade of always being okay when she wasn't.

He wanted all of her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

He had been staring at her soundlessly.

Cloud paused, looked from one of her eyes to the other, but his default response failed to come. Instead, he mumbled. "No."

Aerith blinked, "What?"

"I mean, not yet." He straightened, realization clicking into place.

This was it. This was the opportune moment. This was…this was the perfect moment.

"But I will be—" He paused and inwardly cursed.

He didn't have the ring with him. Where the blazes was it?

"—if you…if you help me—" He glanced around, trying to remember where he'd put it.

Aerith looked bewildered. "You just said you didn't want my help—"

"What? No! Nonono, I need your—I need you. Always. Constantly." Cloud assured, looking at her. "But I…" He feebly patted his pockets, but the little black box wasn't there. "I'm not doing this right."

"Doing…what?" Aerith squinted one eye at him.

Cloud stopped his frantic movements, looking at her.

Damn it all.

"Will you marry me?" He blurted.

Both of Aerith's eyes flew open wide in shock.

"I've been trying…but there was never a…and then with everything…" He babbled, standing and resisting the urge to start pacing. "I got a ring. I swear I did, but it's…disappeared."

He looked at her helplessly.

"Yes."

Cloud's eyes widened this time. "Yes?"

Aerith lifted both hands, covering the lower half of her face, but then abruptly lowered them again, bobbing her head. "Yes, Cloud Strife, I will marry you."

All of the air left Cloud's lungs at that statement, and Aerith stood from the bed, closing the gap between them in two strides and putting her arms around his neck. He involuntarily moved his arms around her back and met her halfway with a kiss. He tilted his head, and she mimicked him. He pulled her closer as the kiss deepened.

The full gravity of that 'yes' hit him in that moment. Yes. She had said yes. She wanted this. It was her choice, and she had chosen him. After everything, she still said yes. He tipped his head forward as the kiss drew to a close, touching his forehead to hers.

"I love you." He mumbled, eyes closed. "So much."

He heard her smile through an exhale.

"I love you too." Her hands moved from his shoulders to either side of his neck, coaxing him to open his eyes and look at her. "I'm yours."

His chest nearly burst, and he looked fiercely back at her.

"And I'm yours. Forever."

Aerith smiled and kissed him again.

There would be no more talk of monsters tonight.

..:-X-:..

Preview for next week: A shadow had fallen over Radiant Garden.