Chapter 11- Someone to talk to- Lenalee's P.O.V.
2 years later. 2 years before the D. Gray- Man plotline
I sat on my bed. "Let's hope they get back today," I said. I flopped onto my back and sighed.
I grabbed the small piece of paper from under my pillow. I smiled at the goofy picture of Arisa, Daisya and I. Arisa was hugging me, and pushing Daisya away from us with her free hand. I remember Komui taking this on my birthday when the three of us were on a sugar high.
I can't believe it's been two years since Arisa's come to the Order. I thought. It feels like it's only been a few months.
There was a knock on my door. I quickly put the picture under my pillow, and grabbed the book that was on my bedside table. "Come in," I said.
Kanda walked into the room. His long, black hair was down- a sight I only saw during battles.
"What's up?" I asked, putting my book down.
"Can I ask you a question?" He asked.
"You just did," I said with a smile on my face.
Kanda rolled his eyes. "You've been hanging out with Daisya if you're saying something as stupid as that." He sat down on the bed, and put his back against the wall.
He seemed upset; but I knew better than to try to pry. I knew that he would tell me what was going on sooner or later. I just needed to be patient.
"Do you remember when you said that I would always have people who would love me no matter what I do?" He asked.
I nodded. "I really did mean that, Kanda. I'll be here for you no matter what."
Kanda closed his eyes. "What would you do if I told you that I've killed someone I really cared about?"
"I would still be here for you," I said. I grabbed his hand, making him open one eye to look at me. "I will always be here to help you anything. It doesn't matter what you do, you'll always have me to lean on."
"Why?" He asked, opening his other eye.
"Because I trust you," I said. "Your anger might annoy me, but I trust you with my life. You saved me from Leverrier, Kanda. I can never repay you for that."
He "ched" at me, making me glare at him. I playfully punched him in the arm.
We were silent for a while. I was dying to know what was making him so upset, even though he had given me a hint. He had killed someone he cared about, but I didn't know why he did it. Still, I didn't push him for an answer. I knew that killing someone was always something that can mess with a mind- especially if that person who was killed was someone close to the killer.
I put my back against the wall, and closed my eyes, waiting for him to speak.
"You don't need to repay me," Kanda said at last. I looked at him. He was staring straight ahead.
"What?" I asked.
"You don't need to repay me," He repeated. "We're a team, so we need to look after each other."
I smiled at his words. "You consider me part of your team?"
"I consider you someone I can trust," He said. "You're the only one who won't push me away despite my attitude."
"Well, not many people understand that there's a kind side in you," I said.
He went silent again. I thought that I might have embarrassed him into not saying anything.
I was just about to apologize for anything I had said to upset him when he said, "The boy I killed was my best friend. It was before I had joined the Order. He had gone insane, and killed a lot of people. He wanted to die because he had known nothing other than pain all of his life. However, I wanted to live. It was because of that why we started to fight. I stabbed him with Mugen, and I killed him."
I didn't know what to say. I wasn't expecting him to tell me this. Lucky for me, Kanda just kept talking.
"Marie was there that day, and I ran away with him. I then became Teidol's apprentice."
He looked at me. "I was created by the scientists at the Asian Branch. They wanted me to be an exorcist, and they tried to put innocence in me. They tried it every day, but it never worked. The pain was excruciating, and I wanted it to end so badly. My friend and I were both going through the same thing, and we both wanted to run away. We tried, but it didn't really work. I've grown up in some part of the Order. This is the only home I know, and I can't imagine another one. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"I understand," I said. "I don't really remember much about my life in China. I don't even remember much about Komui. All of my memories are a blurry mess because I came here at such a young age."
There was another silent pause. Then, Kanda said, "Our lives suck."
"Not all of it sucks," I said. "We still have people we love surrounding us."
"You mean 'you still have people who love you surrounding you'," Kanda said. "No one likes me, remember?"
"That's not true," I said. "Zhu loves you like a son-"
He interrupted me. "Zhu's never here."
"Marie and Daisya consider you their little brother," I said.
"The brother that always pisses them off," Kanda said.
"Will you stop interrupting me?" I asked. "I'm trying to help you, but you're not listening to me."
"That's because no one here likes me," Kanda muttered.
"I like you," I said. He looked at me, but didn't say anything. "If I did hate you, I wouldn't be listening to what you're saying. You're my brother, Kanda. We've known each other since we were little kids, and I've grown to love you like an older brother."
Kanda smiled. It was a small smile, but it was still a smile. "Don't tell anyone about him," He said.
"I won't," I promised.
"Thanks," He started to get up, when I grabbed his arm.
"What was your friend's name?" I asked.
He didn't look at me as he spoke. "Alma," He said. "His name was Alma Karma."
"Alma," I repeated. "That's an interesting name."
"He was and interesting person," Kanda said. "Lenalee, you tell anyone about this conversation, and I will cut your tongue out."
"I promise I won't tell anyone," I said.
"Good," Kanda said. I felt myself blush as he planted a quick kiss on my cheek. "You're easy to talk to, Lee." He stood up, and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I just sat there, confused, and happy. I didn't know how to react to the whole kiss thing, so I just blushed.
I started to wonder about the fact that he had told me something that not a lot of others knew about him. I wondered if he was changing; maybe he was becoming nicer. I highly doubted it, though. His threat about cutting my tongue out was enough proof to tell me that he was still hostile towards people.
Still, everyone needs someone to talk to about his or her problems- even Kanda. I was just happy that I was that person.
Author Note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I personally think this is one of the worst chapters I've written, but Oh, well. Also, I am not trying to ship Kanda and Lenalee, although I do love the couple. I'm trying to show the sibling relationship that I imagine them having.