"Daughter to father, daughter to father- I am crying, a part of me is dying and These are, these are the confessions of a broken heart...And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater. I dream of another you.. The one who would never (never)- Leave me alone to pick up the pieces. A daddy to hold me, that's what I needed!"
-Confessions of a Broken Heart by Lindsay Lohan -
( ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ )
Izzy felt a wave of hurt rush over her as she stared at her father standing on her doorstep. She quickly put on the mask she felt she would need.
"Hello Father. Come inside, I guess. No need to talk on the porch..." She stated simply, moving to allow him inside.
Charlie stepped inside and looked around the apartment of his daughter. It brought him back to his own college days before he had met Renee. Living with his room mates, Harry Clearwater and Billy Black- drinking Rainier's Vitamin R, eating junk food and having a great time..
But the apartment of his daughter didn't look like she had fun at all. Knowing how she probably felt pressured to act, she didn't know the meaning of fun anymore. Her school items were neatly arranged on a desk in her living room. Her practice piano was set up and plugged in by the front window. The coffee table had appropriate magazines all neatly aligned.. The term "plastic" came to mind.
He followed her to her comfortable looking couch and they sat down. He was completely oblivious to the conflict inside his own child.
(-_-_-_-_-)
"Izzy! Our father is here! WHY is our father here?" Bella was panicked. The only time her father visited was when she'd done something wrong.
"Perhaps he heard about me telling off Dickward. I don't know but if he starts on me, I'll fire back. I don't even want to talk to him!"
"So don't..." Bella stated. Izzy mentally flipped her off. She wasn't used to this shared headspace. She didn't think it was that easy. "Take a break, Izzy.. I'll handle it."
"I'll step out if you need to switch again."
(-_-_-_-_-)
And so, Bella sat, facing her father with a look of confusion now on her beautiful face.
"What can I do for you, Father?" She asked politely, folding her hands over her lap as she had been taught. She'd never been alone with her father since that day she saw him in the garage. He'd always had her mother with him and then he'd rarely spoken except to parrot the disappointment that spewed like acid from her mouth.
"Bells.." She froze. He didn't call her that anymore. She heard Izzy whimper; She remembered those days too?
Charlie noticed the look on his daughter's face at the name and it made him want to cry.
"Oh Bells. I'm so sorry. That look on your face.. It only shows what I realized after I saw you laying in that hospital bed was true."
Bella bristled inwardly, Izzy clenching her mental fists in rage. Did their father know about each of them? If he had, that was SICK! How could a father-
"I've been a terrible father to my little girl. I don't even remember where I went wrong. You used to be so full of life and now I can't remember the last time I even heard you laugh."
"Your wife taught me laughter is like the braying of a donkey, quite unbecoming to a lady." Izzy must be rubbing off on her, the venom in her voice wasn't masked at all.
"I'm so sorry! I have the feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot this visit. I guess I just let her take over. I don't know why exactly. Maybe I thought she would take you and leave. I couldn't be without my family. It would have killed me to lose you. So I did what she said, and I became what she wanted me to be."
"I remember watching you change. I remember waiting by the door for you all day once, refusing dinner and having mother call me a brat over and over. But you didn't come home until after I was asleep. It became a habit. I grieved for you!" Izzy screamed inside her head, and Bella only repeated the words because she had the same memory. Perhaps they were once the same? Would they ever merge again?
Tears pooled in Charlie's eyes, so much like her own. "You hate me..."
"I don't hate you.. I just don't know you. You don't know me either."
Those words were like a bullet to Charlie's heart. They were so true. He didn't know her favorite food, her favorite color or anything a father should know.
"I want to."
Bella sighed at those words. As much as she wanted him to too, that would never be allowed. Izzy sensed Bella's growing hurt and worried about her, so she stepped in.
"You can't. Your wife won't let you. Your wife won't let ME! She controls EVERYTHING. When was the last time you wore blue jeans? When was the last time you even got to scratch your nuts in your own home? And don't tell me that you don't because ALL MEN DO IT! Men burp and fart and watch football on Sundays. Men drink and play poker and get a hard-on for old classic cars. MEN have, want to have and think about SEX. Wipe that look off your face. You wanted to know me and you got me. Before you think it, I AM a virgin. Before you ask it, I have NEVER done anything with Edward and before you want it, PLEASE HUG ME!"
In a flash, Charlie had his daughter in his arms and was clinging to her in a tight hug as the tears finally fell from his eyes. How right was his own child? How had he been so blind? He was slightly disturbed at her image of men, but he hadn't show her any better.
Izzy and Bella both relished in the comfort of the hug. It hadn't been planned but they'd both been crying out for one for so long. Izzy realized for the first time in a long time that she was actually crying. She didn't know if it was a manifestation of her emotions, or Bella's emotions, but she was crying.
She abruptly pulled back from her father and wiped her eyes. At his hurt expression she grimaced.
"Sorry. I don't cry.."
Charlie laughed through his tears and kissed her on the top of her head, "That's ok, kiddo. I don't remember the last time I did either."
They sat in silence for awhile, and then they began asking questions about one another. With a glance at the clock, Charlie realized that it was time for him to go.
He stood awkwardly, "I guess I should get back home.. Your mother is expecting me for our weekly dinner together."
Izzy huffed out a laugh, "You know how horrible that sounds, right?"
He nodded, "I do now. After today, I know how a lot of horrible things sound.. And I see how bad things really are. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but it has to get better. It's like I can finally see how bad things are and I just can't let you live like that anymore."
"Like what?" Izzy asked. There would only be one right answer...
"Unhappy." And with that, Charlie walked out and back to his car. He waved once and then drove away.
Left with only each other again, Izzy spoke freely.
"Well Bells! Let's clean house!"
'Clean house? I am ALWAYS cleaning the house. YOU are the slob here.'
"I don't mean physically clean. And don't call me a slob. I mean re-organizing our life."
Bella felt weary, 'What do you mean?'
"I mean, I'm going to take out and burn everything in here that reminds me of the Stepford Wives.. Starting with our damn bedspread. That thing is SO ITCHY!"
'Don't touch my piano!' Bella screamed.
"I'm not going to touch the piano. I like the piano. But jeez! There is no PERSONALITY in this apartment!"
Izzy walked into their room and began tossing items into their hallway. A pile began to form...
Bedspread, gone.
Sheets, gone.
Ugly brown lamp, gone.
Adhesive shower flowers, gone- due to be replaced with adhesive shower ducks.
Floral towels, gone- due to be replaced with softer, fluffier ones.
Izzy then turned her gaze on the closet...
"Oh we are so going to need to go shopping."
Bella cringed, 'Do we really have to do this? I'll have nothing left.'
"We'll just go shopping." Izzy replied, throwing the closet doors open. Her gaze bypassed her own clothes and went straight to what she had dubbed, 'Bella's Stepford Collection.'
Bella was grumbling as Izzy started throwing out her clothes. It's not that she really cared, she'd always wished for nicer things. But they were HERS.
Izzy was fed up, "LOOK! Bella! You can't keep making us dress like a grandma trying to dress like a grandma. I mean seriously Bellsy, I've seen women in Iraq show more skin than you!"
'When did you go to Iraq?'
"NOT. THE. POINT!"
They continued to go through all of Bella's items until there was literally nothing left except Izzy's clothes in their closet and dresser.
Bella wanted to know where they were going to get money to go shopping.
Izzy smirked to herself as she began to get them ready, "Remember that unlimited black card we were given?"
'The one I say is only for emergencies?'
"Yeah well it isn't. But I would say that this IS a fashion emergency."
Izzy shoved the black card, her ID and her phone in the pockets of Paul's black jacket before going to walk out the door..
And who would happen to have been about to knock on her door, but Paul.
'Speak of the Devil.' Bella almost whispered, causing Izzy to smirk.
'Bella, I feel a sin coming on.'