"It's nice to see you still have your faith..."
Anya had awoken that morning to an empty bed, wondering where Cullen had gone. They had an amazing night together, one she wouldn't easily forget. After searching the grounds a small secluded room reserved for prayer was the last place she had expected to find Cullen, who was knelt on the floor murmuring a prayer of sorts; she had never been a big believer but nevertheless respected others who were.
"Praying for those lost, and those I am afraid to lose..."
He stood and turned to face her. Even now having only awoken she looked radiant to him. He was tempted to try and convince her not to go. To let someone else face Corypheus, why must she do it every time? Why must she be put in the most danger? It was painful to watch her leave, never knowing if he would be holding a funeral or planning a party.
"I know what you're thinking Cullen, but I plan on returning you know. Anyway I have luck on my side, remember."
Her mouth upturned into the slightest smile,. Truth was if she thought about the matter too long, it was too tempting to just run away with the man she loved. Although Corypheus would never let her have that peace. He had to die.
"To think you won't return, its unbearable Anya. I'm sorry for leaving you this morning, I just hoped this might help."
He wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, placing a small kiss on her neck. His breath on her skin sent shivers down her spine.
"Cullen...is it wrong in a place of worship that you are getting me all hot and bothered?" He chuckled and tightened his grip around her, never wanting to let go. She moved her hands up his back and ran her fingers through his hair.
"Anya, just make sure you do return."
He felt abandoned. Well, nothing was new there. His whole life had been one big cock-up, as far as he saw it. All he ever did was let people down, even the one man who had tried to recruit him all those years ago for the legendary grey wardens, the true Blackwall. The one man who had tried to make him into someone good, someone to be admired and loved. He had seen through his own cocky exterior and saw...what? Potential? All he ever wanted was to be that man Blackwall believed he could be; to inspire people. Thom rainier had never been that man. Or at least, he had never thought he was, until Anya walked into his life. She made him truly believe he could help. When he joined the Inquisition he was given new purpose. When she had walked away, half giving up on him, he saw what he always saw in people's eye and that was disappointment. The Blackwall in him would never allow that look to come back again. When she whispered the words, ' but were does this leave us?' well...it's not as if he's never had female attention before but hell, this wasn't just any woman. He could tell that straight away. She was a mage yes, but it made no difference to him. Her beauty really was something he thought belonged only to fairy tales. The way she had with words, the way she held herself...it was no wonder everyone believed her to be the best choice to lead the Inquisition. From day one she had him hooked, line and sinker.
Now, after the big secret was revealed and everyone knew he was indeed a fraud, she still believed in him. Still allowed him to use the name Blackwall even; he was afraid it would tarnish the real Blackwall's memory but not Anya...she believed it was something to strive for, always looking forward. He guessed that's what Cullen finds so darn atttractive in her as well, amongst other things. Bugger... when did he become so jealous?
"Blackwall, are you ready to leave?"
There she was in all her glory, standing just by the stables in a well fitted armour. Or was it just Blackwall's imagination? He would gladly lay down his life for her any day.
"Of course m'lady. Are we heading out?" He noticed she looked shaken, not her usual self who was ready for battle, willing to step into whatever danger lay ahead.
" Yes...and no. Do you want to get a drink first?"
Her question startled him but any time spent with her was a blessing so he jumped at the chance.
"I'm ready when you are."
The tavern of Skyhold was unusually quiet. Blackwall and Anya the only two sitting by the fire.
"Anyone would have thought you were Daydreaming back there Blackwall?" He almost choked on his ale.
"Me? Ha!" That was the only response he could muster, he had been daydreaming, about her.
"Everyone else must be preparing themselves. I've been going round talking to everyone today, it felt like goodbye's but I-don't want to think that way. "
She sounded distant. He watched as the fire's reflection danced in her eyes.
"Is there something on your mind Anya?"
It was worrying to see her like this, even when he knew she wasn't his anymore, the feelings he had for her were always going to be there.
" I-I have never been so unsure. We are nearing the end I can feel it, Coryphaeus will be dead ,or I will-"
"He will." Blackwall stated firmly, brushing a stray hair from her face, "Did I ever tell you that you're beautiful?"
She smiled at his remark and his confidence in her. An awkward silence followed, Anya wasn't sure how to answer Blackwall, who she had hurt so many times now. Of course he wasn't perfect either but whatever they had together was still there, it was clear to both of them. Would that chemistry ever go away? It was going to make things difficult but she tried to move it from her mind and ready herself for what was to come.
"Always the charmer Blackwall, thank you. That's one thing I do love about you. That and your bravery, your modesty, you never see that underneath all that self doubt is a good man. I'm so glad to have you by my side, I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Come now," he blushed a little at the compliments; good thing he had the beard to cover it he thought.
"Sorry, I'm being foolish but after everything, we've all came so far.." Seeing Cullen that morning had made her think about the entire situation. The way Cullen had clung to her for dear life, he really did love her. As she loved him. But the thought of actually dying...it had been something she'd tried not to think about through this whole mess and now it was impossible to ignore. And she was sitting with another man who claimed to be in love with her. She really didn't see what they clearly all saw in her.
" We're not dead yet." Blackwall broke the silence. "Whatever the cost we'll come home in one piece, you will come home in one piece, I'll make sure of it." He smiled in reassurance and stood up, holding his hand out to Anya.
"We all will I hope, I can't drink alone." She laughed with him before taking his hand and venturing out into the Arbor Wilds...
Well, it had been tough, but with the support of Cullen's army and everyone from the inquisition they had beaten Coryphaeus, almost. They still had no idea where he had went after the Well but for the time being, they had won.
It would have been cause for celebration, Iron Bull had just opened a bottle of his finest...whatever it was that burned throat's. Blackwall had kept his promise and fought harder than she had ever seen him fight.
The only problem was, the person Anya wanted to see most had disappeared when they returned to Skyhold. After checking his office she noticed from the corner of her eye something red glowing in the distance, coming from the battlements.
"Cullen.." she started to speak but was stunned to see him holding a piece of red lyrium in his hands.
"What are you doing?!"
Using her staff which thankfully was still in her possession, the lyrium was thrown from his hands and over the edge in a matter of seconds.
"Anya! I'm so sorry, I just wanted to...I was stupid. I found it when we ventured into the wilds, I-I know you aren't supposed to even go near the stuff, I know its dangerous."
"YES, its very dangerous Cullen! I've seen what that stuff does to people, it makes them hideous... what were you thinking, you are a recovering lyrium addict!"
He remained silent but the smallest smile crept across his lips.
"Cullen...you are really worrying me now, this isn't like yo-" He cut her off with a deep, longing kiss. He was past the point in caring who saw them together anymore, not that it had really mattered in the first place. All he needed was her right now.
They stayed like that for quite a while before Cullen broke the kiss first, "You really do care for me, you were worried for me?"
"You idiot! Of course I do, I love you. So much. But you haven't answered my question, what were you doing with the red lyrium?." Cullen slid a hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him.
" I just-I have never worried for anyone more in my life than I worried for you. I'll just be glad when all this is over. The red lyrium..it was foolish to touch the stuff but I had to see how far I'd come and really, I felt ok. I feel like a burden has been lifted. It doesn't have a pull over me anymore."
She placed a small kiss on his cheek, " I'm so proud of you Cullen, I want this to be over as much as you do and it will be soon. Just promise you won't go near it again?"
He nodded gently in agreement.
" I wanted to find you for another reason actually. Tonight, we're going to play a game of Wicked Grace and I'm not taking no for an answer Cullen!"
Next chapter...Wicked Grace, the full story! ;)