Hi! Sorry for not uploading lately. I haven't really been able to get to the computer and type. Plus, school's been getting in the way. Anyways, here's the new addition to Lightning and Time.
Chapter 26- Secrets- Different P.O.V
Arisa's P.O.V
Death. That was what was in my dream. The death of someone that I didn't know haunted me. I watched as the gray skinned man slowly pulled the organ out of the boy's body. I couldn't help the boy as the life slowly faded from his eyes. I didn't know him, yet I felt like screaming. Tears fell down my cheeks as I fell to my knees, sobbing.
My eyes slowly opened, and I found myself looking at the ceiling of my room. I sat up, and felt something trickle down my cheek. I caught the salty tear with my tongue. What was going on with me?
"Ari?" Mother's voice drifted up from the room below. "Are you awake?"
"Yes," I said. I got out of bed, and dressed in a long, back dress. I didn't know why, but the color black seemed to calm me down. It reminded me of something that I thought I should know, but didn't.
I grabbed the comb off of my bedside table, and ran it through my long chestnut colored hair. I couldn't believe that it was almost a year ago when I had cut the ridiculous pink and purple colors off.
I put my hair in a pony tale, and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Shadows covered my hair, making it look like a dark black. The sight made my heart leap, and I didn't understand why. It felt like I was in love with something. It also felt like there was a name that belonged to the feeling.
I grasped for the name, but just as I was about to get it, the name slipped away. It was lost from my mind. However, the feeling lingered.
Once again I cursed at the fact that my memory had been lost. For two years I had been struggling with my memory loss. I couldn't remember anything before two years ago, when Mother and her assistant Barba found me on a ledge in a valley somewhere in Asia. My memory was so bad that I couldn't even remember my name.
I had noticed that my memory had been lost when I was signing my name on a slip of paper for the doctors. I could only write three letters; "Ari". I felt like there was more to my name, but I couldn't remember what. All I knew was that "Ari" did not sound right. However, that's the only thing that people could call me by. So for two years, I have been living in Liverpool, England as Ari.
I shook my head. This is not the time to be thinking about my memory. The Orphanage needs you to be happy, not sad.
I quickly left my room before my mind could come up with another crazy trick for teasing me about my memory.
I entered the dining room, and kissed Mother on the cheek. Mother wasn't my real mom. She was one of the wisest women in the town, and also one of the eldest, so everyone called her Mother.
She had adopted me a few years back after she had found me. She brought me to the hospital, and after they had released me, she brought me back to her house. I'd been living there ever since.
"How well did you sleep?" Mother asked me as I sat down in front of the plate of food.
"All right," I said. "I woke up because of a nightmare." I explained to her about my nightmare with the boy dying.
"The strange thing is," I said. "that I felt like I knew the boy. When I woke up, I was crying."
"What was the boy wearing?" Mother asked.
"A black and white outfit with a hood over his head, bandages covering his forehead and neck, and a weird symbol on his chest. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil, and drew what the symbol was.
I wasn't very good at drawing, but I was somehow able to draw it almost exactly like I had seen it in my dream. It was if I had drawn it before.
Mother examined the pictures. Before she could say anything about it, the clock chimed nine-o-clock.
"You'd better get to the orphanage," She said.
I quickly finished my breakfast, and stood up. "I guess I'll see for dinner," I said.
"Actually, I was thinking that you could go out with your friends tonight," Mother said. "I've got some colleges of mine that are coming, and from the description of one of them, I don't think that you would like him."
"Okay," I said, completely confused. "I'll see you later then."
I placed my dishes on the counter. I put my coat on while I ran out the door.
The morning air was bitter, telling us that winter was on the way.
I watched as my breath came in puffs of white as I quickly made my way to the orphanage. On the way there, I thought about ways to keep my dream from slipping back into my mind. Telling the kids a story might work; or I could play some board games with them. I hoped that I would be too busy to think about it.
It took me ten minutes to get there. I climbed the steps, and knocked on the giant door. It opened to reveal my best friend Emillia. She looked grim as she pulled me in.
"Timothy's upset," She said. "It's the anniversary of his mother's death."
"I'll talk to him," I said. I placed my coat on the rack, and walked into the giant living room. Kids from the age of five to sixteen all surrounded me.
"Good morning, you guys," I said. I saw the little boy at the window. He didn't look happy.
"Hey, Lenalee," I said, bending over to look at the youngest girl. She had brown hair in pigtails, and blue eyes. She looked confused.
"Silly, Ari," She said. "My name's Lena, remember. I don't know anyone named Lenalee."
"I knew that," I said, embarrassed. "I was just testing you. Anyways, can you tell me why Timothy's upset?"
"He won't talk to anyone," Lena said. "He's upset, and only Emillia knows why."
I looked back at the little boy, and walked over to him.
"Hey there, Rascal," I said, sitting next to him. I draped my arm around his shoulders. "You want to talk?"
"My mother died on this day five years ago," Timothy whispered.
"Well then, why aren't you celebrating her?" I asked.
He looked at her. "Because this is the anniversary of her death."
"You can celebrate her life," I said. "Sorrow over the deaths of loved ones can easily become demons. It's your job to make sure that you don't turn your sorrow into a demon."
"What do you mean?" Timothy asked.
"I don't know," I said. "I pulled that out of nowhere, and I have no clue what it was from. Maybe I read it in a book. Anyways, you don't always need to be sad, Timothy. Your mother lived a great life, and she gave birth to such a handsome young boy. I bet that if she were to see what you've been growing up to be, she'd be so proud."
"What am I growing up to be?" He asked.
"A strong an intelligent young lad who cares for his family," I said. "You're such a sweet boy, Timothy. Once people get through that crazy, perverted, and tough shell, they'll discover that you really are a beautiful person."
He smiled. "Do you really think so?"
I nodded. "I know so." I kissed his head. Within moments, Timothy and I were squashed within a giant, group hug filled with giggles.
I would have felt happier, if it weren't for the facts that I kept coming up with wild things to say. I felt like I believed in everything I told Timothy about sorrow turning into demons, but I didn't understand how I got such a depressing thought. Plus, I had called Lena something else. Lenalee, wasn't it? That name ringed a bell, but I didn't understand why. When I had said it, I felt a twinge of guilt pinch my gut. Again, I didn't know why.
The group dispersed, and I got my mind to think about what I had to do for the day. Entertain the kids, and help around any way that I could.
I was able to get my mind off of everything during most of the day, but every time I remembered the name Lenalee, I felt a twinge of guilt in my gut.
By the ending of the day, I noticed that the boy from my dream kept entering my mind along with the name. Who was he? What relation did I have with him? I didn't know. What I thought was his name kept popping into my head; Daisya.
Kanda's
"Why are we here?" I asked.
"I need to talk to an old friend," The general said.
I groaned, and wrapped my cost around my body. "Damn winter," I muttered. "I hate the cold."
"I think that we all do," Marie said.
There was the sound of girls giggling. I turned to see a giant group of girls around my age walking around.
Please don't let him notice them, I thought.
"Yuu," General Tiedol said. "will you go ask those girls for directions to my friend's house?"
"Why don't you go?" I asked.
"Old men usually don't go up to young women to ask for directions," The general explained. "if I go over there, they'll think that I'm a creepy, old man."
"Which you are," I muttered under my breath. To the general, I said, "Why can't Marie ask?"
"They'll think that he's a creep to," Tiedol said.
"Kanda, just do it," Marie said. "He's not going to stop until he gets you to go ask."
Reluctantly, I said, "Fine. What's your friend's name?"
"Everyone calls her Mother," Tiedol said.
I sent him a glare, and then walked over to the girls.
"Excuse me," I said. The girls looked over to me. "Do any of you know where Mother's place is?"
"Do you know her?" A girl with long, chestnut colored hair asked.
"No," I said. "But my comrade does. He just doesn't know where she lives."
"If you turn left at the barbers shop, you'll see a bridge. Her house is the first one on the other side," The girl said.
"Thank you," I said. I turned to leave.
"Do I know you?" She asked.
I looked over my shoulder at her. She looked somewhat similar, but I didn't know from where. "No," I said. I walked off.
When I joined Marie and Tiedol, they were both smiling.
"Wipe those smiles off your faces, or else I will cut them off," I threatened.
"Do you know where we're going?" Marie asked.
I was about to tell him, when the General turned and started to walk away. "I know the way," He said.
I clenched my fists. "You knew the way this entire time?"
"Of course," He said. He continued to walk. "Are you coming?"
"No," I said. I walked the opposite way.
"Kanda, come back here," Marie said.
"No way," I said, not looking back at him.
"Leave him be," The general said. "He's not going to come with us."
I turned the corner, and pressed my back against the wall. Marie joined me a minute later.
"I thought that the general told you to let me be," I said, looking at him.
"I figured that you needed to talk," He said.
"About what?" I asked.
"You need to answer that," Marie said.
I was silent for a few minutes. "There was a girl that asked if we knew each other," I said at last. "She looked familiar, and I didn't know why until now. She looked like the circus freak."
"I don't know if you remember this," Marie said. "But Arisa's dead."
"Trust me," I muttered. "I remember."
"I know that you don't like talking about it, but what really happened the day Arisa died?" Marie asked.
"We were having an argument," I explained. "I got close to her face, and she kissed me."
"Arisa kissed you?" Marie asked.
"I was surprised too," I said. "Anyways, it had started to rain. I pushed her away, and said that she really was a freak. She took a step back, and slipped. She fell. I tried to save her, but I couldn't."
"So that's why you've been beating yourself up the last few years?" Marie asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You've been training yourself to run faster, and use your instincts more," He explained. "You work yourself to the bone if you feel like you can't save people. That's what happened after Alma died."
I clenched my fists. "Don't mention him."
"You're blaming yourself for not being able to save her," Marie said. "You don't need to do that."
"I can't help it," I said. "I've killed my best friend. I didn't need the death of someone else I knew hanging over my shoulders. Training's the only way I can feel good about myself."
"You can talk to anyone about it, you know," Marie said. "Worrying about something won't do you any good. If you really care about it, then you need to face your worries. If you're worried about people hating you for the things you've done, then you'll never know what they'll actually think if you don't take the chance to tell them."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't need a lecture, Marie," I said.
"Obviously, you do," He said. "Sometime in the two years that she lived at the Order, Arisa saw something in you that made her fall in love. Lenalee always tries to talk to you, and to include you in things, but you block her out. Daisya always thought that the better your life got, the worse your mood became. All of them saw- or see- something inside of you that you don't even see, Kanda. They knew that you may be able to heal quickly, and that you may be a jerk to a lot of people doesn't mean that you get lonely. They've tried to help you, but you don't let them."
"What does this have to do with the girl from before?" I asked.
"If you thought that the girl looked like Arisa, and if she thought that you looked familiar, then I bet that there's something there that you're not seeing."
"The circus freak is dead!" I snapped. "How can that girl be her?"
Marie shrugged. "I never said that she was Arisa."
"Then what did you mean?" I asked.
"You might be seeing someone who looks like her because God- or something else- wants you to learn that you don't need to be upset about her death anymore," Marie said. "That happened in the past, Kanda. You tried to save her. It's time to let go. It's time for you to move on."
I looked at him. "I can't move on, Marie," I said quietly. "I have a nightmare every night about either her or Alma's deaths. They haunt me to the point where I don't want to sleep."
"Then overcome your fears. I don't like to say this, but I believe that humans were created for one reason; to reproduce. However, we overpopulate the earth, so God sends down his fury. He creates war to kill off some of our population. We live in a world where only two things truly matter; life and death." Marie plucked a flower off a vine that was growing on the wall.
"Death is an everyday thing- but so is life," He said. "Arisa's death was an accident, but it was her time. So was Alma's death. Both of them served a purpose in life- no matter how short of a life they had. Arisa was supposed to save the world from the akuma. Alma's purpose wasn't very clear, but I think that he was supposed to stop the second exorcist project. I think that he was supposed to save you and any of the other that would have come after you from that hell you were born in.
"We all have something that we were placed on this world to do. Most of the time, that reason's hidden from us, but at other times, it isn't," He continued. "All of us exorcists and others who work at the Order are supposed to help destroy the akuma, while the Earl was placed here to create the akuma. Do you understand?"
"Not really," I said. "But I don't need you to lecture me all night. Besides, you sound like Zhu; and I do not need another person in my life telling me that Alma's or Circus Freak's deaths are going to help the war."
Marie placed the flower in my pocket. "Just think about what I said, Kanda. I think that it might help you to come to terms with your feelings and fears." With that being said, he walked off.
I watched him as he turned the corner.
Come to terms with my feelings and fears? I asked myself. Is that what Daisya did?
Daisya's words echoed in my mind. I hadn't thought of them for months, but now they came back to me.
"I'd rather live with a broken heart, knowing that I told the girl I love my feelings; rather than die knowing that she will never learn what I felt for her."
I guess that he had faced his feelings by telling Lenalee that he had loved her. The other thing he said popped into my head as well.
"Sometimes, it's good to pretend that you'll have a bright future ahead of you; even if you know that you're not going to live for long."
I still don't know what he meant by that. Now that I think about it, though, I remember the scared tone in his voice. Also, he had died only a few months later. Did he somehow know that he was going to die?
I remembered the way he had always annoyed me. He was scared of me- I always saw it in his eyes. Still, he would annoy me to the point where I drew Mugen on him. I wondered if he was just trying to get over his fear by making me angry at him.
I also remembered the way Arisa had stood up to pretty much anyone who needed someone to stand up to. She was able to work with her feelings, and turn her anger into courage to fight the battles that needed to be fought.
Then, there was Alma; my best friend from childhood. Unlike Arisa, he wasn't able to work with his emotions. He had kept all of his negative emotions bottled up, and that eventually drove him insane. He stood up to the people who hurt him… and he killed them. He faced his fears in a bloody way, but it had cost him his life as well.
I realized that Marie was right; they had all played a role in the world. They had all died trying to do what they thought was right. Their deaths had affected the people they loved, but it was that affect that kept us fighting for what they believed in. They had all faced their fears to fight the battles that they did, and by doing that, they faced their feelings head- on by using their anger, sadness, and love to find the courage that was somewhere deep inside them.
Still, the thought of them dying made my mood worse. They may have helped the world, but they had still died in the process. Plus, I had killed one of them, and I couldn't save the other two.
"It's so like you to finally understand some philosophy that Zhu and Marie have and you can only see the dark side of it," A voice said.
I looked over to my right, to see Daisya walk through a wall. He crossed his arms, and smiled.
"Hey there, Grumpy Life," He said.
"Daisya?" I asked? "You're dead."
"Yes," He said. "Glad you noticed that fact." His smile grew. "You couldn't have saved me even if you had been there at the time. There are a lot of secrets in this world, Kanda. Secrets that you need to learn for yourself."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
Daisya put a finger to his lips. "They're secrets, Kanda. I don't give secrets away. And I would like it if you kept this little meeting a secret from everyone else, also. I'm dead, and not a lot of people believe in ghosts." He walked through the other wall, and then popped his head out. "Good to see you again, Yuu,"
I glared at him. He just laughed, and disappeared through the wall.
I felt a sad smile appear on my lips. "It was good to see you too, Daisya."
I looked at the wall where he had walked through, and turned. I slowly made my way to the house where I was sure Tiedol was waiting.
I stopped and looked at the group of girls that were still wondering around. The one with chestnut colored hair was the only one who stood out to me.
"There are many secrets in this world," Daisya had said. "Secrets that you have to discover for yourself."
Was that girl one of the secrets?