This is the start of how it all ends
They used to shout my name, now they whisper it
I'm speeding up and this is the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
We're at the start, the colors disappear
I never watch the stars, there's so much down here
So I just try to keep up with the red, orange, yellow flicker beat sparking up my heart
"Yellow Flicker Beat" by Lorde
(~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~)
After Angela was well enough to travel again, she gave Bella a huge hug and promised to see her after awhile. Jared waved his goodbyes and once they were gone, Bella excused herself to take a shower.
Paul picked up the mess he and Jared had made while he waited for her. It was confusing- Izzy and Bella, Bella and Izzy. It was starting to be so hard to tell them apart that he almost wished he could split himself in half.
In the swirling warm mist of the bathroom, Bella swiped her hand across the steam-covered mirror and looked into her reflection.
'Izzy.'
This way, it was as if she was talking to the other half of her, instead of just speaking to herself. Things were happening, and she knew where everything was going.
'Bella. You know I don't want to even think of this right now.' Izzy responded in an angry-hurt tone, causing Bella to sigh.
'I know.. But it's getting harder and harder to tell who is doing what. You know what we have to do. If not for ourselves, think of Paul. I see now that he's actually a great guy. He's not perfect, but neither are we. If he hasn't already, he's going to fall for one of us and feel guilty with the other.'
'I don't want to kill you, Bella..' Izzy whispered in their shared headspace, projecting an image of her hugging herself like a sad child would do.
Bella sighed, 'Don't think of it as killing me.. Because I don't think we get to pick how this plays out. I can feel it.. And so can you. Don't lie.. Just.. Just give me this one last day with him.'
Izzy sighed and paused before answering, 'I've had him so much longer.. What's one more day?'
Bella jumped when Paul knocked on the door, "Bella? Izzy? Whichever you are right now- are you okay?"
Izzy projected an eye roll and Bella giggled, "I'm fine, Paul. Izzy said she's way too hung-over to play right now."
The pained expression on Izzy's face caused Bella's chest to tighten.
She quickly dressed and opened the door, jumping a bit when Paul was leaning against the doorframe. She had dressed casual, in a style that was a complete mix of both girls. Oddly enough, it turned him on more than anything else ever had. Her hair had air-dried during her time in the bathroom and it hung down her back in loose waves. He guessed light makeup, if any at all. The dark-wash jeans she had thrown on screamed Izzy, but the soft-cotton red-black plaid tee that was all Bella.
He wondered if this is what she would have been like had her mother not forced her into such a tight image that she shattered.
Shaking himself from his thoughts, he offered a bright smile and kissed her on the forehead.
"I've got a light lunch for you on the table and, if you want me, I'm yours until about 5 and then I've gotta head home for a bit and Izzy can call me a few hours after if she wanted to go out.. Or you can, either one."
Bella smiled, "So what are we going to do? Of course I want you to stay.."
Paul fought back the cocky smirk that wanted to come out when he saw the dusting of a blush cross his girl's cheeks. "Well.. We could stay in and watch movies or go out and do something or I could teach you all the joys of that new Xbox One that Izzy had you buy."
Bella pulled a face and Paul laughed, "Oh come on. It's just like those Facebook games Izzy got you hooked on."
"I've stopped playing Candy Crush now, thank you very much."
There was a ping from her phone and Paul smirked, "Trivia Crack?"
"Maybe..." She huffed, "Fine!"
(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)
After learning the basic controls of the gaming system, Bella and Paul played Call of Duty for a few hours before Bella screamed that Paul was cheating and jumped on him to steal his controller. After a few moments of her wiggling around on his lap trying to get the small device, the atmosphere changed.
Bella snatched the shiny black menace and Paul's hands clamped down on her waist, "Bella..."
She looked up into his eyes and her heart started pounding. It was the same look he had given Izzy anytime they went out together.. It was the same look he'd had when she was against the wall without him outside the club.. It was the same look from earlier in the morning. It was primal and needy.
She let out a shaky breath when one of his hands came up, fingertips brushing lightly over her cheek before tangling in her hair. She couldn't look away, and he wouldn't look away.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" He whispered huskily, sending a warm sensation down her spine. She didn't get the chance to answer before his lips were against hers. She let out a soft sigh and his tongue brushed lightly across her bottom lip before her own came out to meet it. Her hands came up to clench at his t-shirt. A small whimper left her throat as her hips began to grind against him of their own accord.
Paul knew he should stop.. But he didn't think he could. Not unless she physically removed herself from him. Her taste was addicting and the noises coming from her were driving him crazy. The movement of her body against his was screaming at him and his free hand still on her hip was helping their movements. He and Izzy had played around a few times, but this was Bella.. Or was it? He couldn't even tell anymore... And obviously neither could his body.
He was like a teenager in the back of a fucking car!
She tore her lips from his with a gasp of air and he trailed his lips down to the pulse point on her neck. He waited, like so many times before, for her to tell him what Izzy always did- "No marks."
But the demand never came... Just soft moans and increased friction.
"Tell me to stop and I will let you go.. You can run.. You can-"
"No! Don't stop! Please!" She cried, tilting her head down to press her forehead against his. She was seeing stars behind her eyes and her body felt electrified.
She was so close, and Paul knew it. He wouldn't go any further with her yet than this pleasure. It was all about her and he wanted it to be special (even if his inner man wanted to punch him) if and when Izzy and Bella made that choice together.
He gripped her hips and their movements became harder, more urgent and demanding. She came with a cry and threw her head back. Paul amended his previous statement as he watched her- THAT was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The sight caused him to lose his own control and he moaned out her name, the familiar (though not lately) wetness in his pants almost making him want to blush.
He pulled Bella forward and she cuddled against him, panting heavily and clutching at him. She tilted her head up and brushed a kiss across his lips in a silent thank you.
After a few moments, their breathing became normal and Paul was slightly uncomfortable.
"Uhm.. I'll be right back." He gingerly moved her off his wet lap and she blushed when she stood, a deep blue stain on his light blue jeans. But at the same time, she felt empowered that she had given him that.. And sad that it would be their first and last time.
He came back freshly changed and she was sure he was thankful that Jared had brought him some clothes the night before. Apparently, they always carried spares when they went to clubs in case someone spilled their drinks.
They spent the next couple of hours watching a movie and just being together. When it was time for him to go, Bella walked him to the door. She felt like crying, knowing this would be their final goodbye but refused to let it show. So when he took her in his arms and kissed her, she made sure it was the most amazing kiss she could give him.
He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, "Why do I feel like that was one hell of a goodbye kiss?"
Bella bit her lip and gave a small smile, "I would never say goodbye to you, Paul..."
He took her words for face value and left, Bella promising that Izzy would call him later.
She looked around her home one more time and sighed as she heard Paul's motorcycle rumble away.
"It's time."
(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)
Bella sat on her bed, among her new fluffy blankets. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
It was much easier to enter the shared space this time, though last time she was in the middle of a crisis..
"Bella, please reconsider. We can continue like this!" Izzy cried.
Bella only smiled softly and shook her head, "No, Izzy. You and I both know we can't. A single mind cannot stay divided. We are already slowly coming together."
Tears welled up in Izzy's eyes, "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME LOVE YOU!?"
Bella sighed and wrapped her arms around her pseudo-twin, the other clutching her mirror-image to try to prevent her from disappearing.
"Izzy, it's time. I am you and you are me. I will always be here.. You will always be here.. And whatever ends up out of this will be US. I love you, Izzy.. As a twin and as myself."
She sighed at Izzy's sniffles and began running her fingers through her hair before singing softly..
"Sometimes I wanted to cry.. When the people on TV were not quite the way we were.. Somehow I guess I just knew.."
Izzy let out a watery laugh as she sang the song from their favorite joint opera.. (Repo! The Genetic Rock Opera for those who are wondering).
"But I didn't know I'd love you so much. I didn't know I'd love you so much. I didn't know I'd love you so much, but I do."
Izzy touched her forehead to Bella's and sighed.
"Don't forget me." Bella whispered, "If it's just you up there.. Don't forget me."
"I couldn't even if I tried." Izzy replied.
They stepped away from each other and the frame of the mirror that had previously shattered rose between them. Holding their hands up, the pieces of the shattered glass came flying back in, merging together until it was all one solid unblemished pane. Without breaking eye contact, they raised their hands towards the glass, but instead of touching like last time, the glass rippled like smooth liquid.
They both stepped through and disappeared into the smooth, reflective ripples.
(~)(~)(~)(~)(~)
Paul huffed and looked down at his phone. He'd not heard from Izzy or from Bella since he left. He was worried.
"Dude, just call her." Jared told him, sipping from his beer as they lounged on the couch. They'd finished the work-call about an hour ago and Paul was itching to hear from one of the girls.. girl? Something had felt off earlier when Bella had seen him off.. He still couldn't shake the feeling.
His phone bleeped and he glanced down in confusion.
The girls didn't text.. They preferred to call so he could know who he was speaking to. But there it was on his screen.
'Can you come over?'
With a glance at Jared, he grabbed his jacket and started running down the stairs.
"Dude!" Jared yelled after him, trying not to fall down the stairs as he followed, "What's going on?!"
"I don't know!" Paul replied, strapping his helmet onto his head before opening the door and cursing. Rain was POURING from the sky. It had been so clear earlier. The lightning flashed, increasing the sense that something was wrong.
"Paul, you can't take the bike in this." Jared warned.
"It's the fastest way." Paul started his bike and took off, ignoring the calls of his friend and brother. Something was happening and he knew it had something to do with his girls.
Jared let out a string of "fuck"s and ran to his own car, calling Angela on the way. He couldn't let Paul go through whatever this was alone, and he knew Angela would kill him if something happened to her friend...
(~)(~)(~)
Back at the apartment, she sat on the couch waiting for Paul's arrival. Nerves coursed through her body as she thought of how it would be re-meeting the man she was in love with. Everything had been changed now. Would Paul break her heart?
She heard the skid of tires and frowned. He shouldn't have driven the motorcycle in the rain..
"IZZY! BELLA!" He pounded on the door.
She opened the door and his eyes widened as she leaned against the frame and smiled, "What took you so long?"
(~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~)
Author's Note:
Ok, so I'm sorry for the long wait. Twin and I did NOT want to see things end… and then on top of that, we got hit with the holidays… getting caught up in all the short stories we were doing. I won't speak for her, though I'm pretty sure she'd say it was fun too… .
Anyhow…. Here's the final chapters… let us know what you think of them!