Oh my gosh this was torture. I apologize in advance. I hope I did this okay. Rose is... impossible to write. Particularly considering what I'm trying to go for with her. Anyway, so here's the Rose chapter. Next chap shall be James-centric! Hurray! Excited about that. This chap focuses on Rose and what she's been going through in James' absence and her inner struggle with her predicament. I did my best. Please enjoy. ^_^
Three days. Three days of waiting and wondering and doubting. Three days she spent contemplating what she felt, what she wanted, what she was going to do.
She couldn't get the Doctor out of her mind. Memories came in flashes of color amongst gray thoughts and worries. The TARDIS. She missed it so much. She missed the stars. She missed having the Doctor grab her hand and whisk her off on some ridiculous and even dangerous adventure.
And then she'd think about James; how sad, distant and angry he seemed to get when the Doctor abandoned them. She knew he had tried to reach out to her and she to him, but somehow, they never seemed to connect. At least, not the way they'd used to...
But that was the Doctor.
What had changed? What was so different? They looked exactly alike! James had that same, unquenchable desire to help people, to see new things, to travel, to run... he didn't like being cooped up at Torchwood, constantly being watched by Pete's men. He had once tried to go investigate an odd phenomenon in Glasgow without consulting anyone (after all, he had never had to tell anyone where he was going before) and Pete had him escorted back.
She found it hard to relate to him, too. He wouldn't let her talk about things they used to do, because he didn't think he had actually done it. It had been the Doctor, and that plagued him terribly.
She often went to her Mum for advice, but she didn't have much to give. She just told her to wait until she saw James again.
"What if the Doctor's there?" Rose had asked one night after a long talk about it.
"Then listen to what your heart is telling you," Jackie answered.
So for three days, she let her heart talk to her, tried to listen to what it wanted. It only answered when Pete woke her up in the middle of the night, shaking her shoulder.
She wearily opened her eyes. She hadn't gotten much sleep since James had disappeared, so naturally Pete would decide to wake her when she was actually getting decent sleep. She was going to be irritated, but when she saw the look on his face, her heart skipped a beat and one word popped into her mind.
Doctor.
Guilt washed over her in a vicious wave that made her stomach do backflips, and she had to take a conscious breath to calm it.
"You alright?" Pete asked concernedly.
She nodded. "What is it? Did you do it?" she asked hopefully, sitting up in her bed.
"We've found another door."
Pete rushed her down to Torchwood, where they immediately hopped a jet. During the flight, Pete explained the situation to her.
"The portal is- as luck would have it- in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. Now, so far we haven't had any problems with equipment, but that could change quickly, so we'll need to do this fast. We can't send anyone through. That would risk the integrity of the portal and potentially tear apart our dimension."
Rose blinked at him. "Well, what good is it if we can't get through?"
"We can't send anything with mass through," Pete elaborated.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning we can't send a person, but we can send a message."
"Like a text?"
"We're hoping to send out a live video feed once he's close enough," Pete said. "I thought... you should do it."
Rose tried not to seem over-eager. "Me?"
Pete nodded. "I know you're worried about him and... and it's my fault that he was taken."
"What? No, it-"
Pete held up his hand, stopping her. "I was hard on him. I'm not proud of how I treated him. And Morgan Gates or... whatever his real name is... I should've paid more attention."
"Dad, it's not your fault. I..." she hesitated, as everything she'd been thinking about came at last to the forefront of her mind. "I... don't think he belongs here."
Pete looked at her in surprise. "What?"
Rose licked her lips, sitting up in her seat. She folded her hands in her lap, looking down at them when she got nervous. "I love him. I do, but... We all noticed it, I think. He's just... different. I think it was wrong of me to try and... and make him stay still. Do you know what I mean?"
Pete stared at her for a long moment, before nodding.
"We don't connect like... the Doctor and I did..." she murmured this, afraid of what Pete might think. She glanced at him from under her brow, gauging his reaction.
He had none. He just looked at her, listening.
She took a deep breath and pushed through, "I don't really know what changed. I mean, he looks like him and acts like him in a lot of ways, but in other ways he doesn't. And every time I look at him I think... I think he wants to be elsewhere. And in my heart... I feel the same. It's like we're being pulled in opposite directions."
"Rose," Pete said, placing a hand gently on her knee. "He's not the Doctor. He's a different person. You wouldn't think it, but he is."
"I love him," Rose said, "But not the same way."
Pete patted her knee.
"What do I do?"
"What do you want to do?"
Rose thought about that for a moment. "I... I want to make sure James is okay first."
Pete nodded. "Me too."
When the jet landed, they boarded a boat to take them into the Bermuda Triangle to get to the portal.
Rose had been taken to the front of the boat where several scientists were waiting for her. Equipment was set up on the deck, the wires taking up a majority of the walking space.
The lead scientist greeted her with a brisk handshake. "Hello, Ms. Tyler. I'm Doctor Henry Stanford. I'm going to be helping you get a message out to the Doctor."
Rose nodded, eager to get started.
"Now, firstly, we need to get his attention. We want him to show up at this portal where the video feed we'll be sending out will be strongest."
"Okay, how do we do that?" Rose asked.
Doctor Stanford grabbed a few electrodes, placing them at strategic points on her head. "You're going to send a telepathic message to his psychic paper. Now, what I'm hooking you up to will take your thoughts, amp them up, and send it out."
"How do we know he'll get it?"
Doctor Stanford chuckled. "We don't. We're operating under the assumption that if you keep your focus on the Doctor, he'll get the message."
Rose frowned, wanting to say something snappy, but kept her mouth shut. "What do I tell him?"
"Just call him," Doctor Stanford said. "Tell him where to go. Now, try to relax a bit. And focus."
Rose nodded, shutting her eyes. She listened the waves, felt the boat sway side to side, felt the wind on her face. Once she felt relaxed, she started a silent mantra. Doctor... Doctor... Doctor...
Doctor Stanford proceeded to make all of the preparations, setting everything up. After several minutes, he stepped back, checking over his work.
"There. Alright, Rose, send out your message in three... two... one!"
Doctor-
Before she could even finish her message, Doctor Stanford's monitors started beeping loudly. Rose opened her eyes, looking over at the screen.
"What's-" she stopped when someone appeared on the screen. She didn't recognize the face, but she would've known those ancient eyes anywhere.
"Hello, Rose."
She stopped breathing.
"D-Doctor?"
He smiled. His face was so... young. His hair still looked ridiculous and for some reason he was wearing old man clothes, the centerpiece a red bow-tie. In the background she could see a woman with large, curly hair watching, her expression unreadable. Was this her replacement?
Rose just stared at the Doctor, hardly able to believe it. "You... you changed." Again. He changed again on her. He looked so different. How many times had he changed since he left her? How many more regenerations did he have left?
She saw the hurt on his face when she said it, and wished she'd just not said anything.
"You look the same," he said.
She smiled at him.
They both were quiet for a minute, then the woman tapped the Doctor's shoulder, giving him a meaningful look. The Doctor looked confused at first, then appeared to remember something, turning back to them with a more stern expression. He pointed a finger at her, Pete and Doctor Stanford. "You... what in the hell do you think you're doing, toying with a portal like this? Do you know what kind of damage you could be causing?!"
Doctor Stanford cleared his throat. "Um, Doctor? Hello. I'm Doctor Henry Stanford. And I can assure you that we're not doing any damage to the portal."
"Oh, and you're an expert in inter-dimensional phenomena?"
Doctor Stanford looked flustered. "Um-"
"No, you're not."
"Well, are we causing damage to it, Doctor?"
The Doctor looked at him for a moment, brow furrowed in anger, moving his jaw from side to side. "Well... no, but you didn't know that!" he scolded. He looked at Pete. "This was your idea, wasn't it?"
"We had to," Rose insisted. "Doctor, James was taken."
The Doctor swallowed and it wasn't hard for her to realize he knew that already. "Doctor, where is he?"
He hesitated for a fraction of a second before answering, "He's safe. I'm on my way to get him right now."
Rose stared at him. "You mean he's not with you?"
"Oh, well, you know how James is; he's just like me, after all. He's off saving some planets and people and... things... Having a grand time. But don't you worry, I'm off to go pick him up now. He's fine."
"Doctor, what aren't you telling me?" Rose asked. She knew the Doctor and knew when he was trying to hide something from her.
The Doctor looked at her, eyes softening, and he let out a breath. "James has been... taken... by the man you know as Morgan Gates... again. I was on my way to get him back when you lot had to go sticking your noses in places they don't belong!" he said, jabbing his finger in Pete and Doctor Stanford's direction.
Rose closed her eyes. James was still missing. And she'd distracted the one person in the universe capable of bringing him back. She had to get him back on track. "Is he alright, Doctor?"
The Doctor nodded, still glaring at the two men beside her. "He's fine for now. Mr Boots- oh, I mean Morgan Gates- doesn't want to hurt him. At least I don't think so. He's had the opportunity and passed it more than once. He needs him for something."
"For what?" Pete asked, looking shame-faced. Rose frowned at him, knowing that he was blaming himself still.
"Again, I don't know because somebody-"
Suddenly a red-headed woman appeared on the screen, touching the Doctor's shoulder to placate him. "Alright, I think they get the picture."
"Who is this?" Rose asked, standing up straighter.
"Oh, right! Rose, this is Amelia Pond. Amelia Pond, Rose Tyler."
The red-head nodded with a meaningful look at the Doctor and Rose got the feeling that she knew exactly who she was... or had been. Amelia smiled at her, waved stiffly. "Hello."
"Hello. Um... Doctor?"
The Doctor looked at her. "Yes?"
"What happened to um... what happened to Donna?"
The Doctor's face fell and he swallowed. He twiddled his fingers -Rose had noticed several mannerisms that had changed- and spun on his toes, turning around and grabbing someone from beyond view. He returned with a brown-headed man who looked more than a little bewildered and startled. "Have you met Rory? Here's Rory. They're a couple. They're the Ponds. Say hello Ponds!"
The man -Rory- stood awkwardly, eyes darting around nervously before landing on Rose. "Um... Hello."
Rose frowned as the Doctor turned back to the curly haired woman, speaking to her in hushed tones too low for her to hear. "And who is that?" Rose asked, suddenly feeling very stiff.
The Doctor walked back to the the screen.
"Who is that?"
The Doctor just stared at her.
She felt a lump form in her throat. He was never quiet. Never. "She's..."
"River Song," the Doctor said, face solemn. "She's my... she's my wife."
Rose hugged herself with her arms, fighting back the tears. She wasn't sure what else she had been expecting. How could someone resist the Doctor? She couldn't. Did it really surprise her that someone else had... that she'd been...
She'd been replaced. Completely. Her heart shattered and her breath vanished from her lungs as she stared at the woman, all curly hair and sexuality. River was staring back at her, looking sympathetic. It made her angry, that this woman was pitying her. This woman who had taken the Doctor from her. She took in a shaky breath, trying desperately not to cry.
The Doctor's brow was knit together, expression pained. His head bowed, not in shame, but simply because he didn't want to see Rose hurt. "I need to find James. I'll contact you once I have him. You two," he said, looking up and pointing a finger at Pete and Doctor Stanford, "don't meddle with any more portals. When I get back I don't want to have to fix anything you've broken. Do you understand that?"
Pete didn't say anything, but Rose knew he was relenting. Doctor Stanford was nodding profusely, wanting to appease the Doctor. "Just get him back safe, Doctor."
The Doctor nodded, looked at Rose again. She saw the affection, hurt, and regret in his eyes, yet all she could think was why... why would he abandon her? Why had he left her? Why... why had he replaced her? "I'll be back. I promise. And I'll have James with me; safe and sound."
Rose bit her lip, feeling tears in her eyes. It was too much. James was still gone. If anything happened to him... and the Doctor... her Doctor... he had changed. He had replaced her. His face. Even the TARDIS! It had changed, too. It no longer had that aged look. It looked like a child's play place now. What had happened since she'd been stranded here?
What was she going to do?
"Rose."
She looked up at him.
He smiled at her, a sweet, comforting smile. "It's me. I'm going to get him back. I'm going to fix this."
You can't fix this, Doctor. Not this time.
She nodded, pretending to look comforted.
He smiled again, then turned. "I'll be back, I promise! Ponds! River! Find something to hold onto."
As quickly as he had appeared, the screen went black and the Doctor was gone, leaving Rose hugging her arms, feeling lost, abandoned... insignificant. He'd changed... moved on and replaced her in every way. He had a new face, new companions... a new love. Even a new TARDIS. James was still missing. What was she going to do?
She felt so lost.
Whew. The worst part is over. I tried to make the meeting between Rose, Amy, Rory and River as awkward as possible. It was... it was the most difficult scene I have written yet. I redid this chapter 2 or 3 times before I felt even a little satisfied.
I hope you enjoyed anyway. If you have any critiques or comments or the like, please share. ^_^
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS to my 100th reviewer! You are wondrous :)
And thank you EVERYONE who has officially made this story my most popular story yet! I'm so excited and happy! :D
P.S. next chapter may be a little late, so I apologize in advance. I haven't yet had a chance to work on it, I've got family over and a ton of college stuff to take care of. I will get it up as soon as I can though. ^_^