That's pretty much the turning point. I really hope you all like it. :)

6. Hazel, the psychologist wannabe

It's goddamn hot. I sip my latte again and keep walking. I just drank almost a bucket of coffee and my eyes are still closing. I'm so lazy I'm not sure how I got here. I shouldn't have agreed to a morning date. I should have called this girl to reschedule. Or fucking called off the fucking date. I should have... But I didn't. Why didn't I?

I keep texting the girl as I walk through Central Park. I hope she finds me, 'cause I can barely keep myself from hitting the trees. I finally give up and sit on a bench below a big shadow. I'm sweating, my head feels dizzy and I don't wanna walk any longer. I text her again and a few minutes later, thanks God, a girl is coming towards me.

"You're Santana, right?"

"Yes. Are you Rachel?"

"Hazel, actually."

"Of course. Hazel. That's what I meant."

"I would ask if you want a cup of coffee, but..." She looks at the big cup in my hand and shrugs.

"If I drink any more coffee, I'll be shaking all week long."

"In that case, can we just sit here for a while?" She asks and I nod, before she sits by my side.

"It's freaking hot today."

"I know, right? I'm sorry I setted this date so early, but I'll have to work later today, so..."

"That's ok, no trouble, Rachel."

"It's Hazel."

"Hazel, sure. I'm sorry, I'm not much of a morning person."

"I guess I can see that." Hazel smiles sweetly at me and I try not to yawn back at her. "Have you slept at all last night?"

"Not really. I bet I don't look anything like the pictures Kurt showed you, huh?"

She laughs a little and shakes her head.

"He didn't. Showed me pictures of you, I mean. Blind date, right?"

"Really? I'm used to be the only blind one in these blind dates. And that's 'cause I lost a stupid bet. Why would someone go for something like that?"

"Call me adventurous."

"Yeah, right."

"It paid off."

"Even with those bags below my eyes?"

"Even so."

"Thank you. You're also very beautiful, Rachel."

"Hazel."

"Fuck!"

She is indeed very beautiful – brunnet, small lips, big sexy eyes. I should just focus on her. I gotta focus on her.

"Do you mind if I ask who's Rachel?"

"She's nobody, really."

"Sure?"

"Just my roommate."

"Oh, the other girl who lives with Kurt, I suppose."

"Yes."

"As far as I know, the three of you are close friends." She says softly. I turn my eyes away from her.

"I suppose."

Ok, now I'm feeling bad for saying Rachel's nobody. What's going on with me?

"I'm just guessing here... But it feels like something happened and maybe that's why you have her name in mind this morning..."

"I'm just sleepy." I almost bark back.

"Ok! Sorry." Hazel leans on the bench and looks at me very calmly. "It just feels like you need to talk about it..."

"There is nothing to talk about, Rachel! Hazel! Hazel, for God's sake! Fuck, dammit, shit!"

I don't know how this girl haven't slapped me yet. I sure deserve it. But she doesn't even seem pissed off. She's looking at me very patiently. Then she slides on the bench giving me more space and I lay down, covering my eyes from the sun.

My mind feels so full right now. So many incomplete thoughts. I don't know what to do with all of them. I can't think straight.

"I'm so tired." I mumble more to myself, but also as a weak excuse for my behavior.

"What happened last night?" Hazel questions and her voice is delicate. Not nosy, not overly interested, just willing to listen.

I don't know why I want so bad to tell her, but suddenly I do.

"The Tony Award."

"Sorry?"

"The Tony Award went on last night."

"And how does that affect you?"

"It doesn't. I mean, not directly. But Rachel... My friend and roommate, Rachel... She won the Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical last night."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yes, I guess. I mean, I wouldn't want to be around if she had lost it, that's for sure."

"Am I right to believe that it was a big deal to your friend?"

"Are you kidding me? Rachel dreamed about this day her whole life. She lives for the theater, for her career, for singing. She's the most determined person I've ever known. It's not a big deal, it's a huge deal. It is the deal, for her. It proved all her life was worthy of something. We could see that in her eyes... She was... Oh, man... I can't describe."

"So Rachel was happy. You seemed to be happy for her as well. What was the problem about the Tony Award?"

"The problem wasn't really the Award itself. It was more what happened after that."

"Do you want to tell me what happened after?"

"Well, I don't know if I can. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure it out myself."

"We can try to figure it out together."

"Ahn... There was this party. You know, to celebrate the award. All of our friends were there. Kurt and I planned it for weeks. Rachel was on and off, but we knew she was going to win the fucking Tony and would want everybody there to spoil her afterwards. So we had a full house."

"Right."

"And of course everybody was fussing over Rachel, and she was loving it. I could see this from miles away. So, you know, I was just in my corner, waiting for a chance to calmly talk to her. I really wasn't feeling like getting in the middle of the crowd just to scream 'well done!' to her."

"Ok, let me see if I got the scene. There was a party after Rachel won the Tony Award. Everybody was congratulating her, but you didn't."

"No, it's not like that. I would congratulate her, of course! I was just waiting to do so in a quieter moment."

"Right. Go on."

"Wait. Are you taking notes?" I ask when I look up at her again.

Hazel is now wearing small glasses that she adjusts with a finger when it slides down her nose. She has a notebook and a pencil in her hands and I'm not sure where they came from nor when.

"Oh, yeah. I just write some details down so I don't have to keep asking you things over and over again. Is that ok?"

"Ahm... I guess it is..."

"Ok. You may continue."

"Right. Where was I?"

"You were waiting for a good moment to congratulate Rachel."

"Yes, that. So I spent the night with this friend of ours, Quinn."

"When you say 'spent the night' you mean...?"

"Oh, no! No, it's not like that." I chuckle at the thought. "No, Quinn and I are just friends. Not even friends with bennefits. Not anymore, at least. Not for years now."

"I see. Is she a friend of Rachel as well?"

"Yeah, sure. I mean, not as close as I am, I suppose. They like each other, but I guess Rachel will always feel a bit intimidate by Quinn. Not that she should, but she's a bit insecure, sometimes."

"And why is that?"

"Why she feels intimidate? Good question. Why a fucking Tony Award winner would feel intimidate by any woman? Quinn is just... Well, pretty. Really pretty. Hollywood star pretty. And in high school that mattered. But now... Rachel's just... She's bigger than that."

"Do you think she knows it?"

"If she didn't before, she found out last night, right?"

"Because of the award."

"Yeah. And the standing ovation. And the ass kissing. All that crap. From everyone."

"Except from you."

"I was just waiting..."

"For the right moment, I know. Did that right moment come?"

"Yes. Kind of. That's when things get weird."

"Why is that?"

"We bumped into each other at the bathroom's door. I was coming out, she was trying to get in."

"Hey. Congratulations." I said when she looked up at me.

"On what?"

"On winning the Tony, of course."

"Oh, you noticed?"

"Why are you being all sarcastic?"

"I'm not." Rachel answered, but she totally was, so I followed her when she entered the bathroom and closed the door.

"I was just waiting for the crowd around you to vanish."

"Really? From where I was standing, you were just waiting to vanish with Quinn."

"What? Rachel, you know very well that..."

"Are you even happy for me?"

"What?"

"Do you even think I deserved it? The award?"

"Rach! Of course you do! Are you crazy, Berry? Are you high? You're awesome. You totally, completely deserved to win this. It was only fair, come on. There was no one to even compete with you in a fair way and..."

That was the moment she kissed me. I swear I never saw it coming. Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine. If I gotta be honest, I could have pushed her away. I'm not sure why I didn't. Rachel's mouth tasted like wine and mint. I just kissed her back.

Did it feel good? Well, I'm not sure. She's a weird kisser. She makes this noise all along the kiss. Like her throat is trying to contain a moan all the time. Maybe it turned me on, ok? But maybe I was just drunk. And maybe I liked the way she stood up on her tiptoes and pulled my hair hungrily. But maybe I was just really drunk.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm awesome. You said I'm awesome."

"And because of that, I should kiss you?"

"Well... yes."

You see, that's a pretty drunk logic. But I did, though. I kissed her again. I actually... I remember kind of pushing her over the sink and caressing her stomach with my nails. I guess that made her moan. I guess that's why I kept doing it.

Until someone opened the door. It was a friend of somebody's girlfriend or something like that. No one that we know. But Rachel jumped out of the sink really fast. And I guess I jumped out of fantasyland.

The moment we stepped out of the bathroom, Quinn came along. She took us both by the arms and we were too dizzy to do anything else than following her. We got drinks and we stared weirdly at each other. Then other people surrounded us and I barely saw Rachel again until the end of the night.

"And how do you feel about that?" Hazel asks, adjusting her glasses once more.

"About what?"

"About the fact that Rachel didn't look for you again yesterday."

Goddamn, this girl really knows how to ask the right questions. I fucking hate the fact that Rachel let me stand there all night long, watching her from distance like I was just another fan trying to steal some glow from her big star.

"I understand. She was all excited about the Tony and all her friends were there..." I lie and Hazel frowns.

"And what about the kiss?"

"She was drunk."

"And do you think that's all?"

"Pretty much. I mean, what other reason would she have to kiss me like that in the bathroom in the middle of her Tony Award winning party?"

"Well, it seemed like she was a bit upset by the fact you had, until that moment, spent the night in the company of other girl."

"I was fucking waiting for..."

"I know, Santana. But maybe Rachel didn't know. You say she was loving all the fuss around her, right?"

"Yeah, she was totally loving it."

"But you were not a part of it, though. Doesn't matter the reason, as far as Rachel knew, you preferred to be around this Quinn girl. Who happened to be the one Rachel felt intimidated by during her whole adolescence, right?"

"Ahm... I guess..."

"And just last night, who seemed to be Rachel's glory night, the night that, in your own words, proved to Rachel she was bigger than she thought... You chose Quinn."

"I did not!"

"Ok, but maybe Rachel saw it this way."

"So she kissed me? How does that make any sense?"

"I don't know. How?"

"What? Are you saying that kiss was Rachel's way to call my attention? To divert me from Quinn?"

"Do you think that's what happened?"

"She had everyone at her feet last night. Why would she bother doing that to get my attention?"

"Why do you think?"

"Are you saying my attention was that important to her?"

"Do you feel like your attention was a big deal to Rachel?"

"Well, she did kiss me!"

"Yes, she did."

"So... I... Maybe..." I sigh heavily and get up again. My body is sore from lying in that bench all this time. I think about the way Rachel kissed me and the way she looked at me when Quinn approached us. A look full of expectations. But what the hell was she expecting? Is it possible that she was expecting me to kiss her again? Even with Quinn right there? "No... I guess she was just drunk. I've seen Rachel drunk before. She kisses anyone."

"Well, she is your friend, you must know her."

"Yeah..."

I'm not sure I know her that well, though. I couldn't sleep all night long, thinking about all that madness and by morning Rachel just showed up in my room, offering me a cup of coffee. Like nothing weird happened. She seemed pretty happy with herself.

"So, about last night..."

"You were drunk, happy, high, it was a mistake, you're sorry, I know."

"Ahm..." Rachel bit her lower lip and I tried not to want so bad to bite it too. "Yes, I guess... I was actually wondering if you wanted to come with me and my parents to this breakfast at Tiffany's. It was their idea, I swear. But it's going to be fun..."

"I have a date."

"What?"

"I have a date this morning."

"Oh. Can't you reschedule?"

"No, I can't."

I'm not sure I know myself very well by now.

"I'm sorry, but our time's up." Hazel says, looking at her clock for a moment.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, I gotta go. I have to work, as I said..."

"What do you do for a living ?" I ask as I realize I talked and talked about myself and Hazel never told me anything about her. She sure must be a psychologist or something.

"I work at Barney's male clothing department."

"Oh. That explains why Kurt knows you so well."

"Yes, he goes there a lot." Hazel smiles and gets up. "I'm sorry, I really have to go."

"Ok, sure." I get up too and kiss her on the cheeks.

"Good lucky with the Rachel thing."

"Oh, there's not a Rachel thing, really."

"Uhm. Ok, then. Bye bye."

"Hazel!" I call when she's a few steps away. She looks at me over her shoulder. "Was that a good date?"

"No way. That date sucked."

"Yeah. I thought so."