Chapter 33- Not Even Love Can Heal a Broken Heart- Daisya's P.O.V.
I sat next to Lenalee, my arm around her shoulders. She didn't look at me. She just looked ahead of her, as if she expected to see Allen walk through the door at any moment. She was in shock, and I hated seeing her so upset.
"It's going to be oaky," I said to her. "He's going to be fine."
She didn't answer. I hated that I felt jealous feeling that I had. I always doubted that she was in love with that white- haired, cursed kid, but with how she was acting, I didn't know what she felt.
"Lenalee?" The new exorcist Miranda came over. She held one of the new uniforms. Lenalee didn't react.
"Ms. Lenalee's still in a lot of shock, Ms. Lotto," Bookman said. "I do not think that she will answer."
"Oh," Miranda said. "Lenalee, I know that you won't answer, but I'll be here for you if you need any help with anything."
Again, Lenalee didn't answer. She just sat there, looking at the door.
The sound of glass shattering made all of us- except for Lenalee- jump. We all looked at Lavi. His hand was clenched in a fist, and he looked angry.
"Allen wouldn't be able to be an exorcist even if he was here!" He yelled. "People die every day, Lenalee. We're in the middle of a war, so people die even more quickly. He's not coming back! So you need to wake up and see that fact when it's right in front of you!"
Lenalee took a shaky breath. Tears began to pour down her face.
Everyone glared at Lavi. "You made her cry," We all said at once.
Bookman grabbed Lavi and put him in a headlock. "I am terribly sorry, Ms. Lenalee. He will be seriously punished for what he has said."
"I didn't say anything wrong!" Lavi exclaimed. Bookman hit him on the head, and started to scold him quietly.
I hugged Lenalee. "Ignore him," I said. "He's just being an idiot. He's upset about Allen too, I can bet that."
She didn't say anything. She didn't even react when Anita and her creepy bodyguard Mahoja entered and started yelling. After Mahoja almost pumbled the idiotic Bookman apprentice to a little pulp and after Miranda explained that the ship couldn't be damaged, Lenalee stood up. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused.
"Miranda," She said. "Can I please have my new uniform?"
"Of course," Miranda said. She handed Lenalee the outfit. Lenalee thanked her, and walked away.
I followed her. When we got to her room, Lenalee placed the fabric on her bed.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"What do you think?" She asked, not looking at me.
"I'm not used to seeing you like this," I said.
"That's because I'm always the one to lighten up the mood," She muttered. "I'm always the one who has to smile and laugh, no matter what happens. Even after someone I care about dies, people expect me to smile and laugh. The only people who don't expect that from me are Kanda, Rever, Allen, and you."
"That's because you always are happy, Boo," I said. I wrapped my arms around her waist. Being a ghost, I couldn't have true physical contact with something, but I was able to choose what I could touch- even if it was just a slight touch.
"You're allowed to be sad," I said. "You're allowed to cry. But now isn't a good time. Lavi's right, we're in the middle of a war. We're going to lose a lot more people that we care about, and we won't be able to help them."
"You sound like Levierrer!" Lenalee yelled, whirling to face me. She backed up to the wall. "I don't understand how any of you could say stuff like that! You're acting like nothing really matters when it comes to life in a war! There's more to a war than just dying, Daisya! There's more to life then cruelty and anger and sadness! There's families that are formed through friendships that may have stared out with hatred. There's happiness and love in life! Yet you, Lavi, and Levierrer all act like none of that's important!"
"I don't act like that!" I snapped. "I became part of that family, and I formed friendships that started out with hatred. I've been happy ever since I entered this war. And I fell in love!" My voice quieted as I touched her face. "I fell in love with you."
Lenalee rolled her eyes. "Then why did you say that Lavi was right? Why did you say that we couldn't save people?"
"I was wrong to say that," I said. "I can't control what it is that comes out of my mouth, Boo, you know that."
"Yeah," She said. "I do know that." She paused. "It just pisses me off that none of the others even wanted to try to learn what happened to Allen! None of them seem to care that he may be hurt!"
"You make it sound like I'm in love with him," I said.
"Don't bring something like that up, Daisya," Lenalee said. "I cannot think of love at a time like this!"
"So you do love him then?" I asked.
"Why do you think that?" She asked.
"Because you seem pretty out of it," I said. "You don't seem to care at all about Suman-"
"Don't you dare say something like that!" Lenalee interrupted. "I loved Suman. He was part of my family, and that place that he had in my heart could never be filled by someone else!"
"You just seem to care about Allen," I pointed out. "You only met him a few months ago, and yet you're acting like he's the most important person alive."
"That's not true!" She snapped. "I care for Allen, but he's not the most important person to me."
"Then who is?" I asked.
"Who do you think?" She asked. "My brother gave up everything to be with me. He's put himself in a dangerous place just so we could be together. He's the most important person to me."
"Then why do you risk your life so much?" I asked. "If you really care for him, then you would be more careful."
"I risk my life to save him!" She yelled. "I fight for him, and everyone else in the Order. They are my world, Daisya. They are the reason I fight. And I'm happy to give my life to save them. And if you can't realize that after all these years of knowing me, then you don't know me as well as you claim to,"
Her words stung. I held my hands up in defeat, and turned around. I started to walk out of the room.
"Daisya," She said. She sounded like she wanted to apologize. "I did not mean any of that."
"I'm just going to leave you alone," I said, ignoring her. "I'll just make you even angrier if I stay."
"That's not true," She said. She tried to grab my hand, but it just went through me. "I'm sorry; I would take those words back if I could. I need you to talk to me, Daisya. I need you to help keep me sane."
I just walked out through the wall. I didn't want to hurt her even more then how I had. I was angry at myself for saying such stupid things.
I had tried to help her, but I had failed. I had tried to calm her down, and I had just made her even madder. I guessed that even love couldn't heal a broken heart.