Arf:

~Current Byakuya~

Byakuya was walking down his hall and Koji appeared behind him.

"Hey Byakuya" Koji says smiling.

Byakuya turns to face his 'Friend' and simply replies "Whatever it is, no. I will not let you use and thing I say to use against me in your damned magazine."

Koji points with a blank expression "Actually I'm just here to find out your opinions on the Captains of Seireitei for the news paper"

Byakuya looks at him "Is that really all your going to do?''

Koji nods and holds out a contract "Unfortunately, because of the constant times you destroyed my headquarters I need you sign this saying that you wont destroy it any more"

Byakuya shrugged and signed.

Koji smiled and rolled up the contract "Ok let the Interview begin. Just give a few statements about what you think of each Captain"

Byakuya took in a breath and began "Captain Yamamoto is a respected man, of whom I would die for just to protect. Captain Soifon is strict but perfect for joint exercises. Keeps my men from getting flabby like Omaeda. Captain Unohana scares the Shit out of me. I'm a perfect role-model for all shinigami. Captain Komamura is an excellent fighter who just has bad luck with his opponents. Captian Shunsui is a drunkard who should work more than drink. You're an ass. Captain Hitsugaya Has great Potential and I look forward to seeing how he develops. Zarakai can bite me. Mayuri is a freak. and Captain Ukitake should take it easier."

Koji nods and tells him "The next issue is in 4 weeks"

Byakuya left.

~4 weeks later~

Byakuya got the magazine and read it:

Byakuya's Captain Opinion's

Captian Yamamoto: An old fart who should retire.

Captain Soifon: Super sexy captain who I would like to go out with.

Captain Unohana: Scares the Hell out of me[1]

Himself: I am better than all of you.

Captain Komamura: A Weak little Freak!

Captain Shunsui: He drinks a lot.

Captain Kazefume: He is much better at me at everything

Captain Hitsugaya: A snot-nosed brat.

Captain Zarakai: I want a rematch.

Captain Mayuri: I give you permission to do spontaneous experiments on me.

Captain Ukitake: You should stop being a captain and rest.

Written by: Koji Kazefume

Byakuya closes his eyes and appers in front of Koji and picks him up "I'm going to sue you."

Koji smiles " 'fraid ya can't. I have permission of you to modify your words."

Byakuya looked at him "Nice bluff"

Koji smiled again "You really should have read the contract." He pulled it out and read the Fine-Print "Every thing i say in interviews will be misquoted than used against me"

Byakuya dropped him "... Scatter... Senbonza-"

A voice interrupts him. "There he is!"

He looks and sees Yamamoto, Komamura, Soifon (whom looked greatly embarrassed), Hitsugaya, and Kenpatchi standing there with there blades drawn.

Byakuya just stares, "Oh Sh-"

"Reduce All Creation To Ash, Ryuujin Jakka!"

"Sit Upon the Frozen Heavens, Hyorinmaru"

"Tenken!"

"Sting All Enemys to Death, Suzumebachi!"

"Yahoo! Let's have a Death Match!"

Byakuya was sent to 4th division for 1 year for major burns, extreme cases of frost bite, 6 broken ribs, broken limbs, ruptured organs, and very deep cuts.

Unohana stated "It's a miracle he lived."

After he got out Koji was put in the hospital for millions of major cuts. He told people who asked him what happened "I... Fell into a meat grinder... again."

Arf:The Contest Continues! Have Ideas for this send them to me Via messaging or Reviews!

[1] Koji did not dare to write anything majorly bad about Unohana